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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23285635">Book 14 - Genesis</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/GailDunn2/pseuds/GailDunn2'>GailDunn2</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Action/Adventure, Drama, F/M, References to Supernatural (TV), Series</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 10:28:14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>91,925</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23285635</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/GailDunn2/pseuds/GailDunn2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Gail has disappeared, and Lucifer's Ministry is expanding. Can the humans and the Angels find Gail and defeat Lucifer, before it's too late?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Land of Confusion</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Cas had never been this scared, not in his entire existence. </p><p>He had waited at the apartment for hours, but Gail had not come home. He knew the flight from Las Vegas would have taken a few hours, but she should have been home by now. </p><p>He grabbed his cell phone and called Dean. </p><p>"Hey!" Dean said. "How was the weekend? I thought you guys weren't supposed to be back till tomorrow. Did you come back early? Too much sin for you there?" </p><p>"Is Gail there?" Cas blurted out. </p><p>"What do you mean, 'is Gail here'?" Dean said, puzzled. "No, of course she's not here. Isn't she with you?" Dean put his hand to his head. Oh, no. "Cas, what did you do?" </p><p>"I don't know, Dean," Cas said, forlorn. "All I know is that she left me alone there, and she hasn't come home yet. I was hoping she was there with you and Sam." </p><p>Dean was really confused now. "Well, she isn't," he said, stunned. What the hell had gone on between those two? How badly had Cas screwed up? Had he tried to pull some kind of weird Angel crap on her, or something? </p><p>"Is that Cas?" Sam asked, walking into the library area. "How did the weekend go?" </p><p>Dean shushed him with a hand gesture. "I'm putting you on speaker, Cas." He put the phone on the table as Sam sat down. </p><p>"Tell us what happened, Cas," Dean said. </p><p>"That's just it; I don't know," Cas said again. "We had a wonderful night Friday, and a perfect day yesterday. Then, this morning, we woke up and talked, and then, when I came out of the shower, she was gone." </p><p>"Gone?" Sam echoed. </p><p>Cas was getting impatient. "Yes, Sam. Gone. Not there. Her bag was gone, too. So I sent out the eye and I saw her getting into a cab, and she was going to the airport, alone." </p><p>Sam was shaking his head. "Let's backtrack, Cas. So you say you were having a good weekend up till that point? You didn't have a fight, or anything?" </p><p>"No, Sam. We were very happy," Cas replied. </p><p>Sam mused aloud, "So, she was fine last night. How was she when she woke up this morning?" </p><p>"She was fine," Cas said. He smiled, remembering. "She was wonderful." </p><p>The brothers heard the smile in his voice and they looked at each other, bemused. They guessed they didn't have to ask now if Cas had achieved his goal of romancing her. But, he must have done something. She wouldn't have just packed up and left like that, otherwise. </p><p>"What were you doing this morning?" Dean asked him. "So, you woke up. And then, what?" </p><p>Cas didn't think he should say, exactly. "Nothing. We were just...being affectionate with each other." </p><p>Dean had to ask, though he didn't know if he wanted the answer. "Did you pull some kind of weird Angel crap on her?" he barked. </p><p>Cas was puzzled. What exactly would that be? "What do you mean, Dean?" </p><p>"I mean, maybe you guys have a different way of - I don't know. You know what I mean," Dean said irritably. </p><p>Cas thought a moment, then he became alarmed. "No, Dean. We don't. I would never do anything wrong to her. All right, we were making love. And it was wonderful. We were both very happy. Then she sent me to the bathroom to take my shower, and when I came out, she was gone." </p><p>"What do you mean, she sent you?" Sam asked him. </p><p>"Just what I said," Cas replied. "She said that I should shower, and then we would go to breakfast. So I did, and then she was gone. When I saw that she was going to the airport, I took a cab there, too. I found her walking towards the terminal. I asked her what she was doing, and she said that she was going home." He searched his memory for a moment. "Then she said something strange. She said she'd told me that she had to go home today. But she never said that to me. It makes no sense!" </p><p>Dean thought it was strange, too. But he was keying in on Gail's phraseology. "So she said that SHE was going home?" </p><p>"Yes, Dean," Cas said, nodding, even though Dean couldn't see him. </p><p>"Okay, well, I don't know about that other thing, but if she said that SHE was going home, that's not a good thing, Cas," Dean told his friend. "In female language, that means, 'get the hell away from me'. It means, 'get lost'. 'Take a hike'." </p><p>"'I don't want to look at your stupid face any more'," Sam chipped in. He was grinning. He couldn't help it. Cas had obviously screwed up, and he was oblivious. He got like that sometimes, and they'd had to enlighten him. Maybe Gail had tried to do the same and had gotten fed up when he didn't get it. He doubted this was serious, but Cas sounded really upset, so they should try to help him. </p><p>"Sorry, Cas," Sam said. "So, what happened after she said that?" </p><p>"I told her I would switch our tickets, if she wanted to go home immediately," he told Sam. "Then I tried to take her hand, but she wouldn't let me. Then she said the weekend was over, and she thanked me. But then, she turned to leave." </p><p>Dean thought about that. If Gail were a human girl, he'd say she was giving Cas the brush-off. That sounded like Dean himself, sometimes. In the past, if he'd had a hot weekend with a girl but then she got too clingy, he'd had to do the same thing. But Gail was an Angel, and she had spent nearly two years with Cas up till this point. If she had intended to use him for the sex alone, she had had the patience of a Saint. Besides, Dean knew her pretty well by now, and he was sure that she loved Cas. It all kept coming back to Cas. He must have done something wrong. That was the only explanation. </p><p>"So I took her by the arm, and I tried to touch her forehead so I could find out what was going on in her mind," Cas continued. "But she moved her head away from me. It was as though she were scared of me. Then she told me to let go of her." </p><p>"Did you?" Sam asked. </p><p>"Well, no, not exactly," Cas said, shamefaced. He could understand how that could have made her angry. But he had felt so desperate. So confused. </p><p>Sam and Dean exchanged another look. Maybe when he'd grabbed Gail, he'd done so a little too hard. But that wouldn't explain why she'd been mad at him in the first place. </p><p>Dean winced. He hated to ask Cas what he was about to ask him, but he and Sam had to get the full picture if they were going to get to the bottom of this. "Cas, we've gotta get back to this morning," he said, gritting his teeth. "If we're going to help you, we need more details. You've got to be leaving something out. So, you both woke up. Were you...in the same bed at the time?" </p><p>"Yes, Dean," Cas answered. "We made love the night before, and then she yawned and said she was tired, and then she fell asleep in my arms. I held her all night, and then once we both woke up and said good morning to each other, I asked her if she'd slept well. She said that she had, and then she asked me if I had. I said of course I had; I got to hold her all night." </p><p>Dean couldn't help but smirk at that. He could just imagine what kind of chick-flick, romance novel stuff Cas had said to her this weekend. Dean had warned him not to go overboard, but he was sure that Cas had mainly ignored him. The guy wore his heart on his sleeve. Dean was sure that Cas was safe to offer his heart to Gail, though. She was just about as tender-hearted as Cas was; even though she presented a wisecracking facade, Dean was sure she would never just take Cas's heart and stomp on it. So no matter what sickening Harlequin romance type of stuff Cas would have gushed out to her, Dean was pretty sure she would have been OK with. In fact, she had probably eaten it up with a spoon, and then asked for seconds. Women loved that kind of junk. </p><p>"OK, then what?" Sam prompted Cas. </p><p>Cas couldn't help but smile. "Then we made love." </p><p>Dean was impressed. First thing in the morning? Attaboy, Cas. </p><p>"The conventional way," Cas added pointedly, thinking about what Dean had said. Then it dawned on him. He thought he might know why the brothers thought that she might have been angry. "But I can assure you, once I was done, I moved down to her, to make sure that she was very happy, as well." </p><p>Dean rolled his eyes. OK, that had been a bit more information than they had needed. A mental image was trying to form in his head, but he pushed it away. He loved the both of them, but who the hell needed to see that every time he looked at them? When he saw Gail smiling, he wanted to think that one of them had just made a joke. He didn't want to be picturing Cas naked, on top of her. It was just too weird. </p><p>Sam had been thinking about the other thing that Cas had said. Or rather, he had been trying not to think about it. When Cas had said where he'd moved in the bed, Sam had a pretty good idea of where Cas had moved to, and what he had been doing there to make Gail so happy. Good for him. For a guy who'd had zero experience with women, he was obviously a quick learner. </p><p>"She was very happy," Cas emphasized. He didn't want the brothers thinking he had only thought about his own selfish pleasure. That would certainly have been a valid reason for her to have been angry. But it wasn't true. </p><p>"Okay, okay, we get it, she was happy," Dean said. He rolled his eyes as Sam grinned again. "Then what?" </p><p>Dean thought it was a safe question to ask. They'd done the deed, and they had both been very happy. Great. What had Cas said, then? Something stupid, Dean could only assume. </p><p>"Then I was kissing her, and then she wrapped her legs around me, and then we were both getting excited again," Cas said innocently. He was lost in the memory, now. He hadn't meant to speak quite so frankly, but they had said that they needed details in order to help him. Dean and Sam were his best friends, and they were men. They would both know how these things worked. </p><p>"Cas!" Sam said, but he was laughing now. "A little oversharing, there." </p><p>But Dean was looking at the phone now, and he did a double-take. "Again?" he exclaimed. "But, didn't you say that you'd just - " He threw up his hands. Damn Angels. Maybe when Dean got a bit older, he'd just have somebody kill him, instead of taking a little blue pill. </p><p>"Yes, Dean, and I thought we were about to make love again, so I told her that I loved her, but then she asked me to get off her body," Cas replied. "Is that what was the matter, do you think? Do you think I was being too aggressive? But we made love twice the first night, three times the next morning, and twice last night. We probably would have done so again, but Gail said that she was tired. She joked that I was wearing her out." </p><p>Dean looked at the phone again, wide-eyed. Holy mother of...what the hell? He did the math in his head. The two of them had been there for just over one day. No wonder Gail was tired. That was what she got for falling in love with a guy who'd been a virgin since before the Ark was built. Maybe she'd left just so she could come up for some air. </p><p>Sam was thinking along the same lines. Maybe Cas had been a little too aggressive, in his excitement at this newfound discovery of his. "So, did you?" he asked. </p><p>"Did we what?" Cas asked him. "Make love again?" </p><p>"No, did YOU," Sam corrected him sharply. "DID you get off of her, as soon as she asked you to?" </p><p>"Yes, of course I did," Cas replied. "And then I apologized for my behaviour. Then I told her I loved her, and I asked her not to be angry. Then she suggested I should shower. So I did. And that was it. She was gone." </p><p>Sam and Dean looked at each other. Sounded pretty innocuous to them. She'd asked him to back down, and he'd done it. He'd even apologized to her. </p><p>"Did she say anything else?" Sam asked. </p><p>"No. That was all." </p><p>Silence for a moment. The brothers were baffled. </p><p>"OK, back to the airport," Dean said, trying to stay focused. "She's trying to walk away, and you've got her by the arm. Then what?" </p><p>"I had been calling her by her name, but she said she didn't know who Gail was, and that I knew that wasn't her name!" Cas exclaimed. </p><p>OK, that really WAS weird, the Winchesters thought. "Could she have amnesia, maybe?" Dean asked aloud. </p><p>"I doubt it," Sam said thoughtfully. "From what I understand, people who have amnesia don't know who they are. It sounds more like Gail thinks she's someone else." </p><p>"I thought she had had some kind of a breakdown, then," Cas said. "But, before I got the chance to find out, the airport security men arrived." </p><p>Sam and Dean winced. That must not have been good. Those guys didn't fool around, especially these days. </p><p>"Then they grabbed me, and she walked away," Cas said, and they could hear the sadness in his voice. They had to do something about this. No wonder Cas was so crazy. Gail had clearly gone nuts, and now she was missing. </p><p>And that had been it, Cas told them. Security had thrown him out of the airport, and Gail was gone. But she'd said that she was flying home, so he'd come home to wait for her. But she should have been back long before now. If she wasn't at home, and she wasn't at the bunker, where was she? </p><p>"Did you do that Angel hoodoo thing that you guys do?" Dean asked him. </p><p>"What do you mean? Do you mean, could I sense her? Can I see her?" Cas frowned. "No. No, Dean, I can't. And I've been trying, very, very hard." It was true. When he'd realized she wasn't coming home, he had started to concentrate. But all he could see was a pane of opaque glass, for some reason. Then he nearly kicked himself. "Bobby!" he exclaimed out loud. </p><p>"What about Bobby?" Sam asked. </p><p>"Bobby should be able to see her. He can see anyone, any time. He's God," Cas said. "I can't believe it took me this long to think of it." </p><p>So Cas popped over to the bunker, but he'd left a note for Gail first, just in case she came back and he wasn't there. Please come to the bunker, it said. Or, if she was too angry, or too confused, please just stay there, at their apartment. He loved her, and he just wanted her to be all right. Whatever was wrong, he would help her figure it out, and he would make it all right. </p><p>Bobby had come down right away, but he couldn't see her, either. </p><p>Cas was fuming. "That's impossible, Bobby. You should be able to see her, no matter where she is." </p><p>"Is there any place that God can't see into?" Sam said. </p><p>"Hell," Bobby answered shortly. The brothers thought he was swearing, but Cas looked startled. That was right. Bobby had never been able to see into Crowley's domain. His eyes widened. Had the King of Hell done something to her? Was she in Hell now? Then his eyes narrowed. She'd better not be. </p><p>Bobby and Cas took Sam and Dean with them to the crossroads, and they summoned Crowley, the old-fashioned way. </p><p>He appeared, looking at the grim expressions on their faces. "What am I supposed to have done wrong now?" he asked them, rolling his eyes. </p><p>"Do you have Gail?" Castiel demanded. </p><p>Crowley looked at him incredulously. Were they joking? But no one was laughing. "No, I don't have her," he said peevishly. "Why would I have her?" </p><p>"You have to admit, it wouldn't be without precedent," Sam said astutely. </p><p>Crowley looked at him sharply. Then he shrugged. "Well, I don't," he replied. "Misplaced her, have we, Castiel?" </p><p>Cas frowned. "That's not even the slightest bit amusing. She is missing, and we only have your word for it that you don't have her." </p><p>Gail was missing? Crowley had to admit that did not sound good. But he rolled his eyes. "Any one of you are welcome to come down with me and check, if you don't believe me. But you'll have to be dead in order to do it," he said to Sam and Dean, eyes glittering with amusement. Then he looked at Bobby and Castiel. "And I don't fancy being spied on by the competition. How about if I just swear on my Demon's Honour?" </p><p>"'Demon's Honour'?" Dean scoffed. </p><p>"Yes, I know, it's an oxymoron," Crowley said, flashing them a brief grin. "But you're definitely barking up the wrong tree here." Then he frowned thoughtfully. "Though, maybe not the wrong orchard." </p><p>Bobby looked at Crowley curiously. What did he mean by that? </p><p>But Crowley was on a roll now. He looked at Castiel, and then at Bobby. "Can't either of you see her? Even you, Bobby?" </p><p>"Of course not," Castiel snapped. "If I could see her, I wouldn't be here talking to you now, would I?" </p><p>Crowley sighed. "All right, Castiel. Point taken. Do you see anything at all, when you try to look?" </p><p>"Only a pane of opaque glass," Cas responded. </p><p>Crowley was startled. "Opaque glass?" he repeated. Now he felt really strongly that what he had suspected was correct. He remembered shielding Gail in the same manner when she hadn't wanted Bobby to see her, when she and the King of Hell had gone to Oliver's house. But that kind of shielding required the power of two Originals, joining hands together. Castiel wouldn't have done that with her, and Crowley hadn't. That only left Metatron, and... </p><p>"Lucifer has her," Crowley told them. "And he has shielded her from you." Just in case, Crowley concentrated for a moment, and then he sent out the eye. All he got was opaque glass, as well. "From us," he amended. "I just looked, and I saw the same thing." </p><p>Lucifer had done the reset for Castiel and Gail and all of their goody-two-shoes friends, but only as far as all the Demon stuff was concerned. He hadn't bothered to include Crowley in any of that, though. So as far as the King of Hell was concerned, all of those things had still happened. That was why Crowley remembered the incident with Gail at Oliver's house during her search for the cure. </p><p>But the world was the world, and it stood still for no one, not even the Alpha Original. So Lucifer, Metatron and Aurielle were still on the loose, of course. And now that Lucifer had Gail in place and working for him, he was ready to crank it up a notch. </p><p>He had told Mark to go forth and tell all of the true believers in Reverend Devlin to get a tattoo. It should be on the backs of their hands, so that everyone would know whose camp they belonged in. The ladies could have it on the backs of their necks if they wished; he knew that they didn't usually like to mark up their bodies. The tattoo should consist of three simple letters: "REV". He had wondered what the tattoo should say, and then Gail had given him the idea. Most of his devoted followers called him "The Rev". He insisted on informality with them. He may be a man of the cloth, but he was also a man of the people. He wasn't snooty or hypocritical, like the other religious leaders. He couldn't imagine being called "Father" by a bunch of grown men. He didn't know how God had ever stood it. So, "REV" it would be. Not only was that his nickname, but it could also be short for "Revelation". Lucifer loved it when things worked out like that. That was about the only thing that he and Metatron had ever been able to agree on. Playing with words was a lot of fun sometimes, especially when you had a lot of down time and only yourself for company. He hadn't been lying when he'd told Gail that he'd had a lot of lonely nights. </p><p>The mark of the tattoo, on his supplicants. The Mark of Cain. That had been on Dean Winchester and then had been taken back by its rightful owner, Crowley, only to be nullified when Crowley had been killed by Castiel in the den. The painful marks that Demon Cas had inflicted on poor Gail's body. And Lucifer's most faithful underling, Gospel writer Mark. He was the Mark of the Beast. Lucifer supposed that made him the Beast, then. He shrugged. If that was the case, then a beast he would be. He was the Devil, wasn't he? What was a good story without a really bad guy in it? How could the heroes be the heroes, if they didn't have enemies to defeat? </p><p>He picked up the phone and buzzed Mark. </p><p>"Come into my office," Lucifer said. "And bring Aurielle with you." </p><p>"How do you know Lucifer's got her?" Dean asked Crowley warily. </p><p>"Well, I don't, but it's only logical to assume, don't you think?" Crowley said to the men. "Or, it could be Metatron. How the hell should I know? But, what we're seeing is opaque. She has to be with another Original, or at least, she's been with one long enough to get her shielded that way. Two Originals holding hands together can create that type of shielding." </p><p>But Castiel was skeptical. Gail would never hold hands with Metatron, or with Lucifer. She hated Metatron, and she had never even met Lucifer. But could Lucifer have kidnapped her somehow, and then forced her to hold hands with him? "If she has been abducted, that wouldn't explain her behaviour in Las Vegas, though," Cas mused aloud. "And how could Lucifer have gotten to her there? She and I were together the whole time." </p><p>"Didn't you say you were in the shower, Cas?" Sam asked his friend. "Couldn't he have just popped in and taken her then?" </p><p>"No, Sam, I told you. I saw her at the airport. She was alone then, and she said she was flying home!" </p><p>"What are you babbling on about?" Crowley asked them irritably. "If you want my help in the matter, it would be nice for me to know what the bloody hell is going on!" </p><p>Cas was burning with rage now. If Lucifer had Gail somehow, Castiel was going to slice the Devil into ribbons. He was too apoplectic to speak for the moment, so the other men gave Crowley a brief rundown on the circumstances surrounding Gail's disappearance. </p><p>He frowned. "That sounds like some pretty elaborate memory modification to me, if that's the case. But he would have had to put his hand on her head in order to do that," Crowley told them. He looked at Cas. "You were with her all weekend? Are you sure?" </p><p>"Of course I'm sure," Castiel said impatiently. </p><p>Crowley shrugged. "Well, I don't know what else it could be. Unless she just wanted to get away from you so badly that she pretended to have memory loss," he said to Cas, smirking. Then he braced himself, but instead of getting angry, Castiel looked like he was about to weep. HAD Gail wanted to get away from him? Had she just been going along with everything this weekend to try to avoid hurting his feelings? But they loved each other, didn't they? If he had done something that had bothered her, surely she would have just told him so. Gail had never been shy about expressing her pleasure, or her displeasure, with anything Cas had said or done before. </p><p>"Very amusing," he said to Crowley in a sarcastic tone. "Is there anything constructive or useful you can offer?" </p><p>Crowley considered a moment. He had no particular desire to help Castiel, but the idea that Lucifer might have Gail did bother him. Maybe Crowley could try to be the bigger man here. </p><p>"Actually, if you wish, I can help shield you in the same manner," Crowley said stiffly. "That way, Lucifer will not be able to see you, either." </p><p>Castiel thought about that. It was a good idea. He didn't want Lucifer to see him coming, when he came. "Yes, I would like that," he told his Brother. Then he sighed. "If you would, please." </p><p>Crowley smiled. A "please" from Castiel. He should mark this date in red on the calendar; it would likely never happen again. He reached out and took his Brother's hands in both of his. Castiel frowned, but he obeyed as Crowley gave him the same instructions as he'd given Gail that night. </p><p>Dean was smirking, and he opened his mouth to make some smartass remark about Cas and Crowley holding hands. Sam saw this, and he elbowed his brother in the ribs. But Sam's mouth was twitching, too. This had to be one of the strangest sights he'd ever seen. </p><p>Once Crowley's red glow and Cas's blue one had merged, Crowley looked at Bobby. "Pop over to the bunker, or to Heaven. See if you can see Castiel." </p><p>Bobby did, and he couldn't. Hmm. Impressive. He came back and nodded to them all. It had worked. Bobby wasn't particularly concerned about not being able to see Cas at the moment. He knew where Cas was most of the time, and he could always reach him on Angel Radio if he needed to. Once Gail was back in the fold, they could just combine to take the shields off each other, if needed. </p><p>Crowley looked at Castiel expectantly. He was hoping for the elusive "Thank You", to complete the bookends. But Castiel's eyes were flashing with anger now. </p><p>The King of Hell rolled his eyes. "What is it now? Did I not make you opaque enough?" </p><p>"Why did you not tell us about this before?" Castiel thundered. "She could have been shielded from him this whole time!" </p><p>"Wasn't she in the bunker, under your tender loving care?" Crowley fired back. "Why would she have needed shielding there? And I knew she wouldn't be going anywhere for a while, due to her injuries. Believe it or not, Castiel, I have no wish to see Lucifer have her. I bear no particular ill will towards Gail." </p><p>Something was bothering Sam about this exchange, though. While he could see the logic behind what Crowley had said as far as Gail having been safe in the bunker, Sam didn't know why Crowley couldn't have suggested the shielding when Lucifer first got loose. If the King of Hell hadn't wanted Lucifer to be able to find Gail, he could have done it right then and there. Then Lucifer wouldn't have known they were in the Secret Garden. Sam had no way of knowing that Lucifer had been after Kevin, of course; he and Dean and everyone else had just assumed that Lucifer had gone there to get Cas and Gail. Sam made his point now. </p><p>"Sam's right!" Castiel shouted. "You should have told us about it back then! Then she never would have been attacked by that - " he stopped suddenly. Wait a moment. He looked helplessly at Sam and Dean. "Why did Gail and I go on a holiday?" </p><p>Dean gave him a strange look. Did Cas really want to talk about that now, and in front of Crowley and Bobby? </p><p>Cas saw the look on Dean's face and quickly amended, "I'm not talking about THAT. I'm asking why we needed a holiday." </p><p>Sam and Dean exchanged puzzled glances, and Bobby shook his head. Was Gail's mental affliction contagious? </p><p>"To celebrate her finally being well again, after all those operations," Sam said softly, as if talking to a child. "It took almost a year, but then she was back to a hundred percent, after that panther attacked her." </p><p>"I sent you there for a few days, and I threw a protection shield around you so Lucifer couldn't get to you," Bobby said. He hadn't actually done that, as he was no longer capable. But Bobby couldn't admit that in front of Crowley, of course, and he knew the question would come up. Either Lucifer hadn't bothered to try to mess with them, or God Himself had protected them. No one here knew that Bobby was no longer God; only Gail did. And she hadn't had the chance to tell anyone. She obviously hadn't told Cas on their romantic weekend. He guessed they'd had better things to talk about than him. When Lucifer had sent Bobby back to Heaven that night, he had modified Bobby's memory so that Bobby would have no recollection of his having been there at the bunker, and he had planted the false memory of the altered timeline instead. Then he had gone to Robbie's room and, as Felicia had cowered in the corner, clutching her son to her, Lucifer had modified both their memories as well. Felicia and her son now only had the memory of being there under the bunker's protection because of Mark. Felicia didn't remember anything about what Ignatius had told her about why he'd felt he had to give up his Grace, or what Lucifer had said to Gail about being a Demon, or about Lucifer having even come to the bunker. Then Lucifer had popped over to Castiel and Becky's hotel suite in Miami, frozen everyone, and modified all of their memories, too. He'd cut the Demon period out of everyone's minds like removing a large tumour, but the rest of the timeline remained intact. </p><p>Castiel stood stock-still, his mouth hanging open. Now he realized. Lucifer had done something to his mind when he had sent them to Las Vegas, making him temporarily forget that it had actually been his agreement with the Devil that had healed Gail's injuries. But Lucifer had obviously gone way beyond that. Sam and Dean and Bobby thought Gail had been healed by the medical profession, and that she and Cas had gone to Las Vegas to celebrate. And Crowley had no memory to modify, because he could not see into the bunker, and he had not been privy to any of these events. Lucifer didn't care if Crowley remembered Castiel's Demon period, which he did, of course. The Devil hadn't agreed to anything with the King, and that wasn't his problem. </p><p>Which led Cas to the inevitable conclusion: that Lucifer had altered Gail's memory to such an extent that she now thought that she was someone else entirely. But what about when they had first gotten to Las Vegas? She had been fine then, and they had been having an idyllic time. Then he remembered that Lucifer had said that he would give them the gift of a one-day honeymoon, of sorts. And they had certainly had that. It was even more cruel to have Gail's altered memory take effect the next morning. That explained her panicked demeanour at the airport, then. She'd had no idea that she was Castiel's mate. That had to be it. Gail had been right, yet again. He should never have made that agreement with Lucifer. </p><p>"It's my fault," he muttered. "It's all my fault. I didn't protect her at all." </p><p>Crowley was mollified. "There, you see?" he said to the men. "Not everything is my fault, you know." He sighed. "I'll send out some feelers. I'll let you know if I hear anything." He snapped his fingers and disappeared. </p><p>"Now don't forget, her name is Sarah," Lucifer was lecturing Mark and Aurielle. "She's been working here about a year, and she's an invaluable member of our staff. In fact, she'll be indispensable to me, very soon." He grinned. </p><p>"Why do we have to have her HERE, though?" Aurielle complained. She didn't care if Lucifer told her that Gail had blonde hair and green eyes now. She didn't care if her name was now Sarah and she supposedly had no recollection of her relationship with Castiel. Aurielle just didn't want to have to look at her stupid face every day. It wasn't marked with ugly scars, was it? How was this supposed to help Aurielle get Castiel? </p><p>She asked Lucifer this now. He frowned. "This isn't all about you," he said sharply. "You have to look at the bigger picture, here. If I'm going to make her my girlfriend, I need to have her near me, working for me, so that I can go to work on her. Then, when she finally succumbs to my charms, Castiel will be heartbroken, and you can give him solace. Now get off my back, Aurielle. And, needless to say, hands off her. You're to be sweet and kind to her. Remember, you're my sister." </p><p>Aurielle was steamed. Not only did she have to work with Gail, but she was expected to be sweet to her, too? If she thought she could get away with it, Aurielle would just march in there right now, grab the letter opener Gail used to open the mail, and slit her throat with it. </p><p>"What is she, now?" Mark asked Lucifer, curious. "A human?" </p><p>"No, she's still an Angel," Lucifer said, smiling. "She just doesn't know she's one. I extended her ability to eat and drink, indefinitely. I know she likes to do those things, and I want to keep her happy. If I'm not able to talk her into going to bed with me, I might just have to get her drunk one night, instead. I've heard that works on a lot of human women." </p><p>There was a light tap on the closed office door. "Come in," Lucifer called. </p><p>Sarah entered, holding a few letters she had culled from the stack. One of her jobs was to wade through all the mail and separate the hate mail from the ones that included donations, and she always picked out the especially effusive ones to show him. Gordon was a little insecure, she knew, and he needed the ego boost now and then. She had already locked away the cash and cheques she'd found for deposit in the morning and shredded the hate mail. What she had in her hand now were a few letters that were especially heavy in praise. There was even one from a woman who described, in fairly earthy prose, what she could do for Gordon to relieve him of the burden of his virginity. Sarah knew he would get a kick out of that one. She had thought about what he'd said about her being a prude, and it had stung just a bit. Look at the weekend she had just had. For some reason, she didn't want Gordon to think that about her. She could let her hair down as much as the next person. It had just taken a special guy to bring out that side of her, that was all. </p><p>"Oh, I'm sorry," Sarah said when she entered the office. "Hi, Mark. Hi, Allison. Do you want me to come back later?" </p><p>"No, of course not, Sarah. Come in, come in," Lucifer gestured. He looked at Mark and Aurielle. "We're done here." </p><p>They were being dismissed. Aurielle stared at Gail as she left the office. Her rival did look somewhat different, but her face and her body were the same. If Castiel were to see her, he would still know it was her, Aurielle was sure of it. How could he not know? He had kissed every inch of that face and licked every inch of that body. Aurielle's stare became a glare. How she would just love to rake her fingernails down Gail's face. See how she liked walking around with ugly scars all day, all the time. </p><p>When they'd closed the door behind them, Sarah looked at Gordon, puzzled. "What's the matter with Allison? She just gave me a really dirty look." </p><p>Lucifer shrugged, but inside he was seething. He had just told Aurielle to be nice to Gail. Perhaps he needed to reinforce the lesson. If Aurielle wanted a few more scars, he would be happy to oblige. </p><p>"Maybe she's just jealous that you got to spend the weekend with a hot guy and she didn't," he said to Sarah. "We have got to get that girl laid." </p><p>Sarah smiled, "Speaking of which..." She extended the letters to him across the desk. "Note the top one. I figured you would enjoy it." </p><p>She watched his reaction as he scanned the letter, and he did not disappoint. He threw his head back and laughed, loudly. Then he looked at her with an exaggerated leer. "Please tell me that you and your mystery guy did what she describes in Paragraph Two," he said. </p><p>Sarah rolled her eyes, but her lips were twitching. She held up her hand, giving him what looked like the peace sign. "Twice," she answered, and they laughed together. </p><p>Lucifer regarded her for a moment, still smiling. "You're really something, Sarah," he told her. "I'm so glad you came into my life." </p><p>She was smiling too. "Thank you, Gordon. What a sweet thing to say." </p><p>"Seriously, did this guy treat you right?" he asked her. "Are you going to see him again?" </p><p>Sarah frowned. "No," she said. "It was a wonderful weekend, but that's it." She wondered what Cas was doing now. She hoped he was all right. Now that she'd had some time to think about it, she didn't think he was a psycho, just a guy who'd gotten too attached too quick. It was a shame that they hadn't had a bit more time together. Maybe they could have gotten better acquainted, taken things slower. And she could have found out who this "Gail" woman was. Maybe she had broken his heart, and Sarah had been his rebound. Or, worse; maybe Gail had died, and he was so heartbroken about it that he was looking to replace her. But, wasn't that psycho? No, just sad. She had to quit thinking of him, though. It was over now. </p><p>Gordon said, "I don't mean to be mean, but I'm glad. Don't get me wrong. I'm glad you had fun, and I know I sort of pushed you into it in the first place." He had to restrain himself from grinning at that. Yeah, he'd given her the push, all right. But, he was trying to feign sincerity here. "But you're not a one-night-stand kind of woman, Sarah. You're quality. You need a guy who really cares about you." </p><p>Now it was her turn to shrug. "Well, thanks again, but until that day comes, it's back to books and Netflix for me," Sarah told him. </p><p>Gordon brightened. "I have good news for you. I'm about to make you an even more indispensable part of my team. I'd like you to start interacting with our flock more. Pass out some flyers, talk to people. We need to get the message out, Sarah." </p><p>She considered. "I guess I could do that. No TV though, right? You know how much I would hate that." </p><p>He smiled. "No, no TV. Don't worry about that. Allison's the one who brings in the donations, anyway. You're too cute for anyone to feel sorry for." </p><p>She smiled at the flattery. "Do you mind if I go home now, Gordon? I could use a good night's sleep. And I need to make the deposit tomorrow morning, when the bank opens." </p><p>"Sure, Sarah," he said. "I guess I was mean to make you come in here tonight." He smiled again. "I'm sure you could use a good night's sleep." He picked up the letter again. "Especially if he did Paragraph 3 to you. You'll probably want to think about that again tonight, before you go to sleep." His comic leer was back. "I know I'll be thinking about it tonight." </p><p>Sarah laughed again, shaking her head. "Goodnight," she said, and exited his office.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Follow You, Follow Me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Six months had passed now, and while some things had changed considerably, others had not. </p>
<p>Frank and Jody were sitting on the couch at the bunker, watching TV. They sat side by side almost all the time now. Lucifer, Metatron and Aurielle were still out there, and the group was no further ahead in finding any of them since the day that Gail had disappeared. Jody had taken a leave of absence from the Sheriff's position for a while. But as time went on and the investigation stalled, she had started to consider going back to Sioux Falls. They were losing hope. </p>
<p>One night, Jody had been sitting in the bunker's kitchen having a beer when Frank came in. "You couldn't sleep, either?" Jody said to him. He gave her a look, then crossed over to the fridge to get himself a beer. </p>
<p>Jody cursed herself. Of course he couldn't sleep. His sister was still missing, and there were no leads on her, either. The only guy who was more crazy than Frank was Cas. Cas just floated around here like a morose ghost. Then he would pop out for a while, for some more futile searching. Then he would pop back in and hover over Sam and Dean on their computers, asking them if they had found anything, anything at all. Then he would pace the floor for a while, then pop out again. </p>
<p>Frank was a different kind of crazy. He was just very quiet, and he stared off into space for long periods of time. Trying to think of anything he could to help them in their search. Cas questioned Frank incessantly. What had Gail been like when she was a young girl? Where did she like to go? What did she like to do? Had she ever said anything to her brother about the kind of life she would have liked to have lived? The kind of person she would have liked to have become? Had she said anything to Frank when they'd all been training together? If Lucifer had induced amnesia in her, perhaps Gail had created a new persona for herself. There must be something they could latch onto, some characteristic of hers. When Frank said she'd always loved to read, Cas went to every library he'd found on Google, and every bookstore, starting in their state and radiating outwards. He was grasping at straws, and he knew it. The others mainly left him alone, because they could see how broken up he was, and they had no idea how to deal with him. But he and Frank had nearly come to blows one day when Frank had finally told Cas to back off with the constant questions. Frank missed his sister too, and Cas should know that if he thought of anything that could be remotely interpreted as a clue, Frank would let Cas know. But until then, Cas needed to ease up. He was driving everybody crazy. Cas had freaked out, saying that nobody understood how he felt, not even Frank. Cas had then swept all of the dishes off the kitchen table, just as the humans had been about to sit down to eat. Then he had popped outside to calm himself down. It wasn't their fault, it was his, he reminded himself. Then he had popped back into the kitchen, apologizing to everyone and then getting down on his hands and knees to clean up the mess. Frank had gotten down to help him, and the two of them had hugged each other and cried. Jody had had to turn away so that no one would see the tears running down her own face. For some reason, she hadn't wanted Frank to see her crying. And the next morning, there had been a brand new set of dishes on the table, with a note of apology from Cas. He had taken to the wind again, to continue his frantic but fruitless search. </p>
<p>"I'm sorry, Frank," Jody said as he sat down beside her, uncapping his beer. "I know this has been really hard on you. Everybody's been tiptoeing around Cas, but Gail's your sister. You must be going nuts." </p>
<p>Frank sighed. "Yeah, Jody, I am. Do you think Lucifer's got her?" </p>
<p>Jody stirred uncomfortably. "I don't know, Frank. But I can't help but think like a cop. If he does, why haven't we heard from him? If he's holding her hostage, why hasn't there been some kind of demand from him?" </p>
<p>Frank was nodding. "I know. It doesn't make any sense. Maybe we're just being paranoid. Maybe she's just out there by herself somewhere. I taught her street smarts; she's probably doing just fine." Then the giant lump formed in his throat, and he put his beer bottle down. "What are we going to do, Jody?" he asked her. </p>
<p>Jody put her hand on his arm. "I don't know, Frank. I wish I knew what to tell you. I wish I could...oh, hell, you know what I wish. I wish she was back here with us. I wish you didn't have to go through this, Frank." </p>
<p>Then they had looked into each other's eyes, and then they had kissed. Frank had smiled faintly. "I've been trying to work up the courage to do that for a long time now," he told her. </p>
<p>Jody smiled thinly. "I've seen you fight. I never thought lack of courage was a problem for you." </p>
<p>"That's different," Frank said softly. "This is way scarier than Hunting." Then he kissed her again, and Jody put her arms around him. When they came apart, they nodded at each other. This was something that would definitely have to be explored further. But not right now. Frank wouldn't be capable of exploring anything until Gail was back with them, safe and sound, Jody knew. And she had understood. </p>
<p>Still, they had begun gravitating towards each other physically after that, and even though they weren't demonstrative about it, the others had begun to notice, and exchange glances about it. </p>
<p>Frank was doing the customary male thing, hogging the remote, flipping idly from channel to channel. Jody smiled. As soon as the sperm met the egg and they determined the baby was going to be a boy, she could picture a remote, clutched in the baby's tiny fist. But she didn't really mind. Frank needed the distraction. </p>
<p>Suddenly, Robbie came running over and launched himself between them, jumping into Frank's lap. Jody smiled again. The kid had fallen for Frank, hard, ever since Gail's brother had brought the boy's comic books and action figures to the bunker that first time. Frank had had Ethan and Chuck take him and Dean over a couple more times since, and now Robbie's bedroom in the bunker was full of his possessions, looking almost the same as his old room had. Frank had spent countless hours since with the kid on his lap, reading his comic books with him. He had started to introduce Robbie to some of the classics, too: the Hardy Boys mysteries were a recent favourite. Frank told Robbie that the Hardy boys were like Sam and Dean in real life. Helping people, solving cases. Robbie had liked that a lot, and he had looked at Sam and Dean with such admiration then that they'd had giant lumps in their throats. Robbie had also taken to calling Bobby Grandpa God, a habit Felicia couldn't seem to break, even though she had admonished Robbie repeatedly about it. It was sacrilege, she said. But Bobby had laughed it off. Let him say it if he wants, Bobby had said. He actually thought it was damn cute. Robbie was in awe of Cas whenever he was there, and Cas was kind to the boy, but he was too sad and preoccupied to give the child the attention he craved. Once, Robbie had asked Cas about "Professor Gail", and Cas had had to wink out of the bunker so everyone wouldn't see him break down, sobbing. He sat in the corner crying silently enough as it was. </p>
<p>"Oof," Frank grunted, as Robbie's foot kicked a very sensitive spot. </p>
<p>Jody smirked. "So, you want kids someday, do you?" </p>
<p>"That might be a moot point, now," Frank quipped, shifting uncomfortably. But he grabbed Robbie around the waist and tickled him, smiling. That did Jody's heart good to see. Robbie's easy affection had been good medicine for Frank. </p>
<p>"Frank! Stop it!" Robbie giggled, squirming in Frank's arms. </p>
<p>"You know the magic word to make that happen, don't you?" Frank said, still tickling the boy. </p>
<p>"Yeah. 'Now'!" Robbie said. Frank laughed, and he put his hand out, palm up. Robbie gave him a high-five. "That's my boy," Frank said, smirking. </p>
<p>As Robbie settled down and looked at the TV, Jody shook her head slowly, smiling at Frank. "I think you've got a fan, there," she told him. </p>
<p>"I'll try not to let it go to my head," Frank said dryly. He tousled Robbie's hair and continued to channel-surf. </p>
<p>"Wait," Jody said. "Go back for a minute." </p>
<p>Frank backtracked, and Jody said, "That's the guy. I'm sure of it." She looked behind her. "Hey, Linda! Come here for a minute." </p>
<p>Linda was at the table playing cards with Kevin, Becky and Chuck, and she looked up. She gave the others a shrug and put her cards face down on the table, then she walked over to stand behind Frank and Jody. "What?" she said. </p>
<p>Jody gestured to the TV. "Isn't this the guy we saw in Indianapolis?" </p>
<p>Linda looked at the TV. "Yeah," she confirmed. "What's he doing on TV here? That was just a local cable station, I thought." </p>
<p>"Well, he's made the big time now, I guess," Jody replied. "This station is national." </p>
<p>"What's the deal with this guy?" Frank asked them. The women had been talking, but from what Frank could hear, he was looking at a garden-variety televangelist show. "Why are you talking about this guy?" he asked them. </p>
<p>"Because he was hilarious," Jody said. </p>
<p>"He was outrageous, that's what he was," Linda said, frowning. She and Jody differed in opinion about that. Linda had also found him faintly amusing, but, maybe because she was an Angel now, she had also been a little put out by what he'd been saying. She guessed the controversial way he'd had of putting things had paid off for him, though. He was probably lining his pockets quite well, courtesy of all of the gullible people out there. "And I don't know if that's appropriate viewing for Robbie," Linda continued. "I remember he was pretty racy." </p>
<p>Frank looked at her. "He's a preacher, Linda." </p>
<p>Linda shook her head. "Doesn't matter. You should have heard the way he talked." </p>
<p>"Well, I can't hear him, if we all keep talking," Frank retorted. </p>
<p>Linda shrugged. "Okay, Frank. Just don't blame me if Felicia yells at you when Robbie says some of those words out loud." </p>
<p>Now Frank was really intrigued. So was Kevin, who'd heard what his mother had said. A TV preacher who used rough language? Now this, he had to see. </p>
<p>"I guess you all heard about that ocean liner that capsized in the Baltic Sea," the Rev was saying. "Well, that's just the beginning, folks. Ships sinking is the next sign. There will be more of them going down. So, I wouldn't be taking any cruises in the next little while, if I were you. If you want to go down, there's a much better way to do that. On each other. Am I right, ladies and fellas?" </p>
<p>"I told you," Linda said. </p>
<p>Holy crap, Frank thought. Unbelievable. He actually thought it had been kind of funny, but Linda was right; Robbie was way too young to be hearing something like that. He lifted the boy off his lap and tapped him on the back. "Go see your mom for a minute." </p>
<p>Robbie sighed. He knew what that meant. Grown-up stuff. But he did as he was told. </p>
<p>"Phew," Frank said, grinning. "That was a close one." </p>
<p>"Speaking of which," Gordon was saying, "I think it's time we bring Allison out. My sister's still on the waiting list for a consultation. I brought her out here to see the best plastic surgeon that money can buy. But he doesn't come cheap, and since she's not a big movie star, she's gotta wait, like everyone else." The audience booed, and the Rev smiled. "I know, I felt the same way. But it's the Golden Rule, and you know what that means. Them that has the gold, makes the rules." He gestured offstage. "Come on out, Allison. Maybe if you're on TV, they'll move you up the list." </p>
<p>Aurielle came onstage. The audience clapped and cheered, and she waved at them, feigning shyness. She knew the drill by now. </p>
<p>"Wow," Frank said. "That face has seen better days." </p>
<p>Jody elbowed him. "Don't be so rude," she chided. The poor woman had obviously had some kind of accident or something. Jody thought it was good of the Reverend to try to help his sister like that. Assuming that's where some of the money was going to go, of course. </p>
<p>"Wait a minute," Kevin said, approaching the TV now. "I've seen that woman before. I know I have. Where was that?" Then he remembered. "She's the woman who answered the door when I followed those university students to the hotel that time." He had eventually gotten around to telling all of them about that. They'd had way too much time just hanging around talking, waiting for something to break. Ethan had commented that he thought that was suspicious activity. Jody tended to agree, and she wondered now about "the Reverend" and his sister. Maybe she would call the office and have them do a background check on the siblings. Hey, it would be something to do, anyway. </p>
<p>Allison left the stage just as Cas approached the group. Had he seen her, he would have remembered her from the Secret Garden, of course. But the only person he saw on the screen now was Reverend Devlin. Cas wouldn't recognize him; Lucifer had a different face on now. </p>
<p>The Reverend was warning of plane crashes now. "In fact, I wouldn't go anywhere, if I were you," he told the audience. "Just send the money in to us, and we can work on getting Allison fixed up. Maybe she can get a boob job, too, while they're at it. See you later, folks. Gordon, out." </p>
<p>Then the end-of-show music came on, the audience clapped, and the show was over. </p>
<p>They all looked at each other, bemused. "Well, that was different," Frank said. He looked up at Cas, who was just standing there, staring blankly at the TV. The show hadn't even registered on Cas; he was remembering all of the times that he and Gail used to watch TV in bed at night. For the millionth time, he wondered where she was, and what she was doing. Did Lucifer have her? If so, why had he not contacted them? It was Castiel who he really wanted to hurt, wasn't it? Well, Cas would gladly trade himself for her safe return. Better still, he would love to ride in on the proverbial white horse and save her from Lucifer, bringing her back to the bunker in triumph. It was his fault that she wasn't here right now. He had shaken hands with the Devil, and now everyone else was paying the price. </p>
<p>Chuck got up from his chair to stretch his legs, walking around the table to where Sam sat, staring intently at his laptop. </p>
<p>"Anything?" he asked Sam quietly. "I think Cas is about to lose it again." </p>
<p>Sam sighed, running his fingers through his hair in frustration. "Don't you think I'd have told you guys if I'd found anything?" he said irritably. </p>
<p>"OK, Sam, you don't have to jump down my throat," Chuck said. "We're all worried about her, you know. Just because you and Dean knew her first doesn't mean that we don't love her, too." </p>
<p>Sam turned in his chair, about to make a retort. But Chuck was looking off into the distance now, and then he did something strange. He smacked his forehead with his palm. Then he sat down in the chair next to Sam and leaned forward. </p>
<p>"I can't believe I forgot about this," he whispered to Sam. </p>
<p>"About what, Chuck? What are you talking about?" Sam asked him. </p>
<p>"Shh," Chuck said, gesturing. "Keep your voice down. I don't want Cas to hear. This may be nothing." </p>
<p>"OK, Chuck," Sam said softly, lowering his voice. "What are you thinking?" </p>
<p>"What I said about you and Dean made me think of it," Chuck said. He reminded Sam about the conversation he and Gail and Sam had had about the fan fiction stories that she had been reading to pass the time when she had been recuperating here at the bunker. "I know that was a long time ago now, but I told her to e-mail the author of the stories to try to find out who it was who had written them. As far as I can remember, she never said another word about it. But it's a bit of a loose end, isn't it? Maybe she got an answer back. Have you looked at her e-mail account?" </p>
<p>"I don't know her password," Sam told him. "I tried that, when she first went missing. I asked Cas and Frank about it, and neither one of them knew what it was, either. I tried to guess, but nothing I thought to put in worked." </p>
<p>"Did you try 'Castiel'?" Chuck said. He was only half-joking. </p>
<p>"Yeah, of course I did," Sam said, rolling his eyes. "And I tried 'Cas' too, in case you were wondering." </p>
<p>Chuck thought for a moment. "I guess that wouldn't be a very secure password, would it?" he said with a grim smile. "What else did you try?" </p>
<p>"I don't remember, Chuck," Sam replied, shrugging. "That was ages ago." </p>
<p>"So, what, you're just going to give up?" Chuck persisted. </p>
<p>Sam took a deep breath and counted to ten. He knew that Chuck was just trying to help, but the guy was getting on his nerves. Did Chuck think Sam didn't know what he was doing? He sat back in his chair, gesturing to the computer. "If you can think of something that we couldn't, be my guest," he said. He rose from his chair and walked down the hall. Dean and Ethan would probably be in the weapons room. This sitting around was driving them all nuts, and his brother and Ethan were likely in there working out or cleaning the weapons for the umpteenth time. Everyone had their own way of coping. </p>
<p>Chuck sat down at the computer, trying different password combinations. None of them worked, of course. He knew that Sam would have tried just about every combination there was. But Chuck needed something to do, too. He and Kevin hadn't been able to see a damn thing ever since Lucifer had broken free of his cage, and Chuck was feeling pretty useless at this point. He still had his journal, and he had been checking the pages every day to see if his writings would magically reappear, just as they had suddenly disappeared. Funny; he had been so honoured when Bobby had chosen him to be one of Heaven's representatives. They had even been given Biblical names, and everything. But when they'd gotten to Earth, everything had stalled, then Gail had been attacked, then they'd had the apocalyptic Demon fight, and then nothing. Nada. </p>
<p>Chuck's Bible name had been Pergamum, he remembered. He seemed to recall making some kind of lame joke about it at the time. They had all been talking about their assigned names, and he remembered being jealous of Cas's Biblical name. It had sounded much more regal than his, like a gladiator's, or something. Thyatira. </p>
<p>Wait a second. Sam might not have known about that. That had been between Bobby and the Angels. But Chuck would bet a zillion dollars that Gail would have remembered Cas's Biblical name. In fact, hadn't she giggled about it at the time, saying that it sounded like something out of an old-time MGM movie? </p>
<p>He bent to the keyboard and typed in "THYATIRA", and Gail's e-mail screen appeared. </p>
<p>"Cas!" Chuck called out excitedly. Cas hurried over to the table. "Did you find something, Chuck?" he said. </p>
<p>"I got into her e-mail," Chuck said, and Cas sat down next to him. The men peered at the screen. There were some old e-mails there that were archived, and one "new" one that had never been clicked on. </p>
<p>"'First Edition'?" Cas asked, puzzled. "What's that?" </p>
<p>Chuck looked at him. Apparently, Gail hadn't told him about the conversation she'd had with Chuck about e-mailing the author of the stories to try to find out who it was. Had she just not had the chance, or did she not want Cas to know, for some reason? But she had been missing for months now, and they'd better not keep any secrets from each other when it came to any potential clues as to her whereabouts. </p>
<p>So Chuck told Cas everything. </p>
<p>Cas was astounded. He didn't know how to feel about what Chuck was telling him. He supposed it hadn't seemed that important at the time; at least, not important enough for her to tell him about it. His feelings were a little hurt that she had talked to Sam and Chuck about it, instead of him. </p>
<p>Chuck sensed this. "I think she just called me because she thought I'd written them, Cas," he told his friend. "I assured her it wasn't me, and then Sam came in, and we joked about it for a bit. I don't think she thought it was a big enough deal to call you about at the time. She just thought it was kind of funny how the author had captured all of our characteristics so aptly. I think she was just bored, Cas. She was spending all her time just sitting around here when she was laid up with her injuries, remember?" </p>
<p>There had been a lot more to it than that, of course. But because none of them had any recollection of Cas having ever been anything other than what he was now, there were no ominous overtones to the fan fiction stories in Chuck's mind. No alarm bells were going off. </p>
<p>"I'm sorry, Cas. I guess this was a dead end," Chuck told him, making a face. "I was just so damn excited to have figured out the password to her e-mail. I thought for sure there would be some kind of a clue here." </p>
<p>Cas frowned. "I understand, Chuck. Just out of curiosity, what was it? The password?" </p>
<p>"'Thyatira'," Chuck replied. </p>
<p>A stab to Cas's heart. His own Biblical name. She had been thinking of him when she'd chosen her password. </p>
<p>Chuck had clicked on the e-mail from "First Edition", but it was innocuous. The author thanked her for her review, saying that he or she would respond to her comments shortly. They had hundreds of e-mails to go through, and they didn't have the time to read them all and give them the responses that they deserved. Keep reading the series, and the author would respond whenever they could. </p>
<p>Chuck was disappointed. He'd been so hoping that this would be a clue as to Gail's whereabouts. He looked apologetically at Cas. His friend had been so excited there, for a moment. </p>
<p>Cas rose slowly from his chair and clapped a hand on Chuck's shoulder, wordlessly. Then he popped out of the bunker. </p>
<p>A couple more weeks had passed, and nothing had changed but the weather. It was late spring now, and the days were warm and sunny. The humans had begun to go outside more, and the Angels spent half of their time in Heaven and the other half in the bunker. Bobby wanted their training kept up, so Dean and Sam, Frank and Jody held regular training sessions to keep the Angels' fighting skills sharp. But it was just busywork, really. It was hard to fight an enemy you couldn't locate. And the training sessions were pretty much all business. Gail's ghost seemed to cast a pall over the room. Any time any one of them laughed or made a joke, their eyes would drift over to where she should be sitting, telling them it was break time. Joking that she was way better at supervising than she was at fighting. Yelling at Chuck to pick up the pace, or she'd pair him with Cas again. </p>
<p>They hadn't included Cas in the training. Dean had invited him at the beginning, but even though Cas had observed the sessions a couple of times, he had made no move to join in. His eyes kept wandering to the spot where Gail should be sitting too, and after a few minutes, he had heaved a huge sigh and drifted out of the room. </p>
<p>The group was scattered today, and the bunker was quiet. Cas was sitting at the table, staring at the laptop. He had begun reading the fan fiction book series that Gail had been reading before she disappeared. It was something to do, and it was a connection to her, albeit a tenuous one. She had been right; it was amazing how the author had captured their personalities so accurately. A few facts differed here and there, and the prose was a bit rough in spots, especially at the beginning. But to all intents and purposes, this was their story. It was dramatic and suspenseful, but at its heart, it was a love story. At least, it was to Cas, and he was sure it would have been to Gail, too. </p>
<p>So he had read the first two books in fairly short order, and now Cas was reading the third. These stories were bringing back so many memories for him, but they were causing him so much pain, too. Yet he persisted. It was almost like a penance for him. If he could get through the whole series without dying of heartbreak, maybe there would be a clue in one of them. Maybe his Father would finally have mercy on them and return her to him. Maybe fish would fly, and birds would swim. </p>
<p>He had just bought his new clothes in the story, his Earthly clothes, and Gail had seen him in them for the first time. Blue jeans, grey shirt, and a charcoal blazer. He had an outfit just like that in his little-used room here at the bunker. Unbelievable. Cas remembered how Gail's eyes had lit up when she'd seen him in Earthly clothes for the first time. He'd bought them to look good for her, but he'd liked the way they looked on him, too. And now, that was all he wore, though his old trenchcoat was still hanging here in the bunker. He had been about to throw it away, but Dean had stopped him, telling him they had to save it, "for posterity". Dean had wanted him to hang it in the bunker, for some reason. So Cas had done it. But he'd thought it was funny. Who would have imagined that Dean would be so sentimental about an article of clothing? </p>
<p>The author had Cas and Gail going to Las Vegas with Sam and Dean. Cas smiled faintly at that. He and Gail loved the brothers, but they would never have brought them along on a romantic holiday. In fact, they hadn't. But he stopped smiling immediately. If Sam and Dean had accompanied them seven months ago, would Gail still be here? No, that was ridiculous. But they should have been here the night that Lucifer had come. That was the only night that mattered. If only the author of these stories could rewrite that, somehow. </p>
<p>Now he and Gail were coming back from their dinner date, and Cas knew what was going to happen next, of course. Unless the author went a different way with the story, as he or she had done with the first fictional night. They'd had Cas getting drunk with the brothers, and he and Gail sleeping in separate rooms, which was absurd. As if Cas would take Gail on a romantic holiday and then just ditch her like that. In this story, she had insisted that he go, but still, he never would have. If anything, he would have tried to persuade her to come out with them, and if she had balked at that, he would have stayed behind, with her. And he would certainly not have gotten drunk. He would have kissed her about a million times, and then made love to her for as long as she'd wanted him to. They would have had that extra night together. His stomach hurt again. Actually, it hurt all the time now. </p>
<p>He closed the laptop with a bang. He couldn't bear to read any more. Cas didn't bother to log out, though. He knew he'd be back to read more, shortly. If he didn't finish the series, she wouldn't come back to him. </p>
<p>Cas winked out of the bunker and went back to their old apartment building. He came here sometimes, when the bunker was bustling full of their friends and he needed a quiet place to be alone. He had given up their apartment now, but Cas still came back here sometimes to reminisce, and he also came once in a while just on the off chance that she might regain her memory and come here, also. He had given his cell phone number to the superintendent, and to the people who lived there now, asking them to please call immediately if she ever showed up. He'd shown them the photo that Dean had taken of her in the bunker that one day, when she hadn't been looking. She didn't like how she looked in photos, and she wouldn't pose for anyone. So Dean had snuck that one picture of her as a joke, and thank God that he had. It was the only likeness Cas had of her now. Cas had had it on his cell phone all this time, and he would sometimes come here to the old building and sit on the bench in the park across the street. Her bench. He would look at the photo for a while, and then he would sit the phone next to him on the bench but leave the screen on so that he could continue to look at her. Then he would look off into the distance. Then he would look back at his phone. The screen went dark every so often, and he would touch it again to make her picture come back up. Good, he thought. She was still there. </p>
<p>He stared at her for a long time today, touching her face with his fingers. Now his chest hurt, too. Could you literally die from heartbreak? </p>
<p>Cas turned the phone off and put it back in his pocket. He hadn't done it for a while, but he felt like he needed to do it now. He sank to his knees off the bench and prayed. </p>
<p>"Please return her to me, Father. I'll do anything you ask. Please. I can't bear it any more. I know I'm being punished for having shaken Lucifer's hand. I never should have done that. But please don't hold that against Gail. She was the one who told me not to do it, and I went ahead and did it, anyway. But You know that I didn't take the deal out of selfishness, not this time. I took it because I couldn't stand to see her in such pain any more. No, let me rephrase that. Because she was in pain, and she would have been hurting like that for a long time. So, it wasn't about me this time. It was all about her." </p>
<p>But it was a hollow prayer, really, so it had a hollow ring to it. Gail had been the one in such severe pain, but Cas was sure she never would have shaken hands with Lucifer, regardless. She would have just borne the pain, rather than submit to the Devil. </p>
<p>He received no answer, of course. He never did. Cas pulled out his phone and looked at Gail's picture again. Then he got up off his knees. Sam and Dean had informed him that it was Frank's birthday today, and Cas wanted to be there to give Frank his best wishes. He knew what he'd like to give Frank for his birthday. He sighed heavily and winked himself back to the bunker. </p>
<p>Sarah was talking to a couple of women who were sitting in the front row of the studio audience. </p>
<p>She had handed out the pamphlets to the people in that row, and then one of the women had motioned her over. </p>
<p>"Yes?" Sarah said politely, walking over to her. </p>
<p>"Can I ask you a question?" the woman said. </p>
<p>"Of course," Sarah replied. </p>
<p>"What's this all for?" the woman said, gesturing around the studio. </p>
<p>Sarah's brow wrinkled. "What? What's all WHAT for?" </p>
<p>"This," the woman said simply, looking into Sarah's eyes. "This so-called 'Ministry'. What's the point of it all?" </p>
<p>Sarah misunderstood. "That's why we're here, isn't it? To try to avoid Armageddon, or at least to try to survive it, as best we can." </p>
<p>The woman was frowning. "No, I meant what's the point of what this Gordon guy is saying? All he does is report things in the news, and then claim that they're signs of Armageddon, then tell people to send in money. Then he makes a couple of crude comments, and then the show is over. So, what's the point?" </p>
<p>Hearing that disturbed Sarah. In a way, this woman was absolutely right. But Sarah believed in what she was doing. She'd better, or she was wasting her life here. Reverend Gordon was very unorthodox, it was true. But he had to be, to grab and hold peoples' attention. They were trying to help the people, but first, they had to reach the people. </p>
<p>She told the woman this now, and the woman's companion said, "I told you so. I want to survive Armageddon, and I want you to, too. That's why I brought you here, honey." She leaned over and kissed her companion on the cheek. Sarah's questioner sighed, then turned to her girlfriend and kissed her on the mouth. Her companion's tongue poked out, tracing her girlfriend's lips. Then she stopped, and she looked at Sarah. </p>
<p>"Oh, I'm sorry," she said. "I hope that didn't embarrass you or offend you." </p>
<p>Sarah shrugged. "Neither. We're an open Ministry, here. Reverend Gordon believes in love of every kind," she told them. "I'd better go, though. The show's about to start." </p>
<p>She turned away from the women, and her lips twitched. They definitely didn't have to worry about expressing their affection for each other here. If those women only knew the kinds of things the Rev said off camera, they wouldn't even have given it a second thought. They could be sitting there in the front row while the show was going on, making out, with their hands up each other's skirts, and Gordon wouldn't miss a beat. Actually, he would probably encourage them to go even further. The Reverend loved sex, and he loved love. Well, he loved to talk about it, anyway. At last report, he still hadn't actually had it. </p>
<p>Sarah had been just about to leave the theatre area and take her usual place backstage when a man called to her from the outer aisle. </p>
<p>"Miss! Miss? Could you help us, please?" He was gesturing to her. </p>
<p>Sarah walked up the aisle. "Sure. What do you need?" She smiled. "And it's Sarah, by the way." </p>
<p>He returned her smile. "It's my wife. She's got MS, and she's having a bad day." </p>
<p>"I'm sorry to hear that," Sarah said to him. "But you know that Reverend Gordon's not a faith healer, right?" </p>
<p>The man was shaking his head. "No, we know that. I was just trying to tell you that she had to come here in her wheelchair today, but she can't see the stage from the back. I was hoping you could find a spot for her up front somewhere." </p>
<p>Sarah glanced back towards the stage. "Sure," she said. "Where is she?" </p>
<p>By the time Sarah wheeled the woman down the aisle and helped her find a good vantage point, the show was starting. The house lights went down and the spotlights shone in the direction of the stage. Sarah looked up, panicked. Crap. Hopefully the camera hadn't gotten a shot of her. She hated even seeing her face in casual snapshots, let alone having to see it on HDTV. Yuk. But Gordon had respected her request not to be on camera, even though he'd hinted at it a few times. No, thanks. </p>
<p>She hurried backstage. Gordon caught her by the arms just as he was about to go onstage. "What's the matter?" he asked her. </p>
<p>"Nothing," she told him. Sarah didn't want to mention what she'd been thinking about, in case he dragged her on stage with him. Gordon was like that; sometimes, he just liked to do the opposite. </p>
<p>He looked at her for a moment. Then he leaned down and kissed her on the cheek. He'd been doing a lot more of that kind of thing recently. Sarah wondered if he was trying to build up the nerve to ask her out or ask her for more physical contact. And how would she feel about that? She honestly didn't know. On the one hand, he was her boss, and he was a bit of a weird guy, sometimes. Contradictory, in many ways. He was a Reverend who had dedicated his life to preaching the word, as he saw it, in order to help people. Yet he was also crude, and he said anything that popped into his mind, with no apparent filter. He seemed obsessed with sex in all its forms, and he made inappropriate moves on all of the girls in the office. He'd never tried that with Sarah, thank God, or she would have told him to put it back in his pants or she would quit. But he had asked her to dance at the office Christmas party, and he had kissed her at the end of the dance. It was a fairly chaste kiss, and she had let him do it, but she had regretted it the next day. She had just had a bit too much to drink at the party, and so had he. But nothing had come of it afterwards, except that he had made a joke the next morning that he should have slipped her the tongue. But Sarah had rolled her eyes and left his office, and ever since then, he had restrained himself from any further physical contact, at least for a while. But lately he had started up again, seeming to find excuses to be close to her, and occasionally kissing her, or taking her hand. She knew that they would have to talk about this, and soon. But what would they say? </p>
<p>"Wait here," Gordon told her. "We'll have a drink after the show." </p>
<p>Sarah nodded, and he went on stage. </p>
<p>Dean passed through the library area, on his way to the couch. The bunker was blessedly empty for a change, and he was going to enjoy the peace and quiet while it lasted. </p>
<p>Cas was sitting at the table, staring off into space, but he might as well not have even been there, for all the conversation that Dean was getting out of him these days. Dean didn't even bother speaking to him on his way by. If Cas needed to talk, he knew where Dean was. But Dean had given up trying. Cas was either crying, pacing the floor, or just hanging around not talking whenever he was here, anyway. Then he would disappear for hours, even days, and then he would come back again and the cycle would repeat itself. But there was no talking to him. Last week, Chuck had tried to suggest that Cas should go up to Heaven and take over chairing the board for Gail in her absence, and Cas had nearly taken Chuck's head clean off. Sam and Dean had had to restrain him before things got ugly. Cas had yelled that Chuck had given up on Gail, and Chuck had yelled back that that wasn't true, he'd just wanted to see Cas do something productive with himself. He was driving them all nuts. Cas had reached for his inside jacket pocket as if he was going for his blade, and that was when the brothers had grabbed him. When things had calmed down, Cas had quietly admitted to Dean that he had been about to go for his blade, too. But what on earth he would have done with it if he'd been able to grab it, Cas was sure he didn't know. He would never have raised it against Chuck. But that had always been his go-to response in the past when he'd gotten angry. Gail had even teased him about it once or twice. She would have done so if she'd seen him just now, or she would have given him a disapproving look, at the very least. Cas had haltingly apologized to Chuck, and Chuck had shrugged it off, but Dean couldn't recall the two Angels having exchanged even one word with each other since that day. Maybe it was cabin fever, but they'd all been getting on each other's nerves lately. Who was Dean kidding? It was Gail. She wasn't here, but she was making them all nuts. She was kind of like the glue that held all of them together, and her absence was like a hollow ache in Dean's heart. </p>
<p>He walked over to the couch and grabbed the remote. Maybe he could find a classic movie on TV to fall asleep to. A nap seemed like a damn good idea right about now. Jody had taken Frank out for a birthday lunch, and Robbie had gone with them. The kid would be all sugared up when he got back, and the decibel level would rise accordingly. The Angels had gone back up to Heaven for the time being, and Sam had left the bunker too, saying that he wanted to go for a drive and think. </p>
<p>Dean turned on the TV and checked the contents of the PVR. Sometimes Sam would record movies that he knew he and Dean would like. There wasn't much on there anymore; they had had a lot of time to watch TV in the last few months. Dean had been playing with the idea of going back out on the road, just for something to do. Maybe just local cases, so they could stay close to home in case something broke. But he didn't know how they were going to tell Cas. He would probably freak out again, accusing Dean of having given up on Gail, too. And Dean felt scared at the prospect of having that conversation, because a large part of him actually had. </p>
<p>Frank had that stupid Reverend's show on there. It was on in the late morning, and Frank and Jody and Robbie had already gone by then. Dean rolled his eyes. Frank thought the guy was hilarious. He watched him every day now, and if Frank didn't happen to be here when the show was on, he would record it, to watch later. Dean hadn't actually seen the show, but he thought it was kind of weird that Frank was so into it. Dean liked Gail's brother, but he was even quirkier than Cas was sometimes, and that was saying a lot. </p>
<p>Still, it was Frank's birthday, so Dean guessed he could cut the guy a break. It would be sad for him to have to spend it without his sister. Gail didn't eat or drink, of course, but Dean could picture her with a big slab of cake in front of her anyway, teasing Frank about how old and curmudgeonly he was getting. Putting a silly party hat on Frank's head and trying to put one on Bobby. They would smile at her indulgently. Then Gail would try to put one on Dean, and he would threaten to break her arm if she even thought about it. She would laugh, and lean down to kiss Dean on the forehead, assuring him that she was terrified of him, and then put the stupid thing on him anyway. Cas would make some crack about that being the best fashion accessory he had ever seen on Dean, and Gail would laugh again and kiss Cas, sitting next to him and taking his hand. Or maybe she would try to claim that there weren't enough chairs to go around and sit in Cas's lap. He would wrap his arms around Gail's waist and they would all sing Happy Birthday to Frank as he blew out the candles. Then, once all the Angels left and Robbie was in bed, Dean would break out the booze and they would sit around the table. Him, Sam, Frank, Jody, Cas and Gail. Dean would pour shots all around, and even Cas and Gail would have a couple, to drink a toast to Frank on his special day. They would have a few laughs and tell a few stories. Then maybe they would move to the TV area and watch a movie they could all agree on. Sam would make popcorn, and Gail would be flipping pieces of popcorn at her brother when he wasn't looking, instituting a points system for how many she could land on him before he noticed. Sam and Dean would smirk at each other and then they would join in, and Jody and Cas would roll their eyes at their childishness. But Cas would never admonish Gail, of course. Dean would give him crap about that, and Gail would shrug and say that was because she was special. Cas would agree that she was, indeed, and he would kiss her on the nose as she flipped a piece of popcorn at Dean and stuck her tongue out at him. Good times. </p>
<p>Dean's eyes were blurred now, and he wiped them with the backs of his hands, looking nervously over at Cas. But Cas was oblivious. He was looking down at the closed laptop, tapping the computer lightly with his hand as if trying to decide whether or not to open it. </p>
<p>Dean looked back at the TV and shrugged. Maybe he would take a quick look at the show, just to see what Frank saw in it, if possible. So he pressed Play. A commercial or two, then the pre-show music started. The cameras were focused on a stage and the spotlights came on, going back and forth in front of the stage like the beginning of a rock concert, or something. A blonde girl who was standing by the stage caught Dean's eye. She was looking at the camera, wide-eyed. Then she turned around and hurried out of camera range. </p>
<p>Dean swung his legs around, preparing to lay down for his nap. This show would be as good as anything to fall asleep to. He'd try to stay awake to watch for a few minutes, just to see if the guy was as entertaining as Frank seemed to think he was, and then whatever happened, happened. If Dean could stay awake for the full half hour, it would be a miracle. That blonde had been kind of funny, though, right off the bat. She'd looked so terrified to be caught on camera. Sort of like Gail looked when anybody even threatened to take her picture. </p>
<p>He sat bolt upright. No, that was nuts. The girl had kind of reminded him of Gail, but that was just because he had been thinking of her, right? But her face had looked like Gail's, too, hadn't it? This was stupid. But he had to have another look, just for the hell of it. </p>
<p>So Dean rewound, and he watched it again, then again. You could only see the girl for a moment, but she did kind of look like Gail. But she was blonde, and her eyes were too light. But she really did look like Gail. Same height, same physical characteristics. Dean played it twice more, and then he started debating with himself. It could be her. Women dyed their hair all the time, and there were contact lenses you could buy that altered eye colour. No, it couldn't be Gail. Dean just wanted her back so badly that his mind was playing tricks on him. He played it again. </p>
<p>"Cas," Dean said. He'd frozen the screen at the point where the girl was looking straight into the camera. Silence. "Cas!" Dean said again, raising his voice. "Come over here. I want you to look at something." </p>
<p>Nothing. No response. Dean turned his head to look at his friend. Cas was still just sitting there, looking down at the computer. </p>
<p>"Cas!" he yelled. "Get your ass over here!" </p>
<p>That broke Cas out of his stupor, and he swiveled his head to look at Dean. "Yes, Dean?" he said tonelessly. </p>
<p>"Get over here," Dean said again. "Look at this." He pointed to the TV. </p>
<p>Cas rose, and came over to where Dean sat. He was looking at Dean, not the TV. "What do you want, Dean?" he said. He sat down next to his friend, looking at him curiously. </p>
<p>Dean let out a frustrated breath and grabbed Cas's face, turning it towards the TV. "There," he said to him. "Look at her. What do you think?" </p>
<p>Cas's eyes widened immediately. He leapt off the couch and moved closer to the TV, kneeling in front of it. He put his hand on the screen, touching the girl's image. "Gail," he said. "It's her, Dean." </p>
<p>He turned to Dean, and his face broke into a grin. "It's her!" He looked back at the TV. He leaned forward and kissed the screen. Then he jumped to his feet and rushed back to where Dean was sitting. "It's her!" he shouted. He hauled Dean to his feet and enveloped him in a bear hug. "Thank you, Dean," he said in a muffled voice, and Dean realized that Cas was crying now. "Thank you." </p>
<p>Dean let Cas hug him for a minute, and then he grabbed his friend's arms, gently disengaging himself from the embrace. "Cas..." he started to say. Crap. He had done it now. What if it wasn't her? Cas would kill him. </p>
<p>Cas was wiping his eyes with his hands, and he was smiling now. "Where is she, Dean?" he said. "Tell me where, and we'll wink over there right away!" Then he started to laugh and to cry at the same time. </p>
<p>"Slow down, Cas," Dean said, putting his hand on his friend's shoulder. "I don't even know if it's her. I just thought, the resemblance - " </p>
<p>Cas interrupted him. "It's her, Dean. Of course it's her." He looked fondly at the TV screen. "It's her," he said again. He closed his eyes for a moment. "Thank You, Father." He turned back to Dean. "Where is she, Dean? Why is she on TV?" </p>
<p>Dean explained what had happened, and Cas smiled again. "I must buy Frank a really good birthday present, for having the presence of mind to tape this show." Then he laughed. "What am I saying? He'll have the best birthday present of all, in a minute! Come on, Dean! Let's go!" </p>
<p>Dean frowned. He had to unwind Cas somehow. "Cas, I'm not even sure if it's her at all. That girl's blonde, and she's got green eyes." </p>
<p>"I don't care," Cas insisted. "It's her. I know it is. Of course it is." </p>
<p>"Cas, maybe we just think it might be her because we want it to be her," Dean argued. But he spoke gently, and he still had his hand on Cas's shoulder. </p>
<p>"No," Cas said sharply. "You'll see. Let's go," he said again. "We're wasting time now." </p>
<p>Dean sighed. "Okay, Cas. You and I will go. But we won't say anything to anybody. Not until we can make sure." He moved around Cas and strode to the library table. He flipped open the laptop and sat down. There was already something on the screen, but Dean cleared it and started to type. "I'm gonna look up that show. Let's find out where they tape it, and the schedule." </p>
<p>Cas stared at the TV screen for another minute, then he walked over to Dean and looked over his friend's shoulder. Dean grabbed a piece of paper and wrote down the studio's address. </p>
<p>"Let's go, Dean," Cas said impatiently. </p>
<p>Dean finished his research and closed the laptop. He got up from the chair and put both of his hands on Cas's shoulders this time. "It's a live show, Cas. We'll go tomorrow." </p>
<p>"Tomorrow?!" Cas exclaimed. </p>
<p>"Yeah, Cas. Tomorrow. She obviously works on the show, so she'll be there tomorrow. We can't just go rushing over there now. There won't be anybody there. And you can't freak out, Cas. This might not even be her. And even if it is her, she obviously still doesn't know who she is, or she would have come back by now. You remember what she was like at the airport that morning? If you rush up to her and grab her, she'll flip out. And if it isn't her, she'll have you arrested. We've gotta be careful here, Cas. We'll go look at her and see if we can talk to her. But you've gotta calm down. If you freak out, you'll lose the opportunity to find out for sure." </p>
<p>Cas knew that Dean was right, but he was so excited that he was having trouble keeping it together. How could he possibly wait another day? </p>
<p>"We're having Frank's birthday party tonight, and everybody will be here. That'll keep us occupied until tomorrow," Dean told his friend. "Then you can wink us over in the morning, and we'll see for ourselves. But don't say anything to anybody in the meantime, especially not Frank. Not until we're sure. OK?" </p>
<p>Cas swallowed. "OK, Dean. OK." He took a deep breath, trying to compose himself. </p>
<p>"Attaboy, Cas." Dean patted his friend's face. "Have a beer or something." He went back to the living room area and grabbed the remote. "In the meantime, I'd better get rid of this. We don't want Frank seeing it." </p>
<p>"No!" Cas yelled, horrified. He rushed up to stand by the TV. How could Dean even think of just obliterating her image like that? </p>
<p>"Heads up! Birthday boy walking!" Jody called out from down the hallway. </p>
<p>Dean looked at Cas, making a gesture with the remote. Cas looked at the screen again, then he kissed his hand and touched her image with it. He turned his back as Dean deleted the show from the PVR and then turned off the TV. </p>
<p>"Who wants cake?" Jody said, carrying a large box into the library area and plunking it on the table. Dean gave Cas one more look, and then he smiled. "I do," Dean said. </p>
<p>Cas glanced at the dark TV and sighed. He guessed it didn't matter. Just one more endless night, and then he would be with her. And then he was never going to let go of her, ever again. </p>
<p>Everyone was at the bunker for Frank's birthday party. The Angels had come down from Heaven, and Bobby had given everyone who'd wanted it the gift of an appetite, so they could help Frank celebrate. The mood was bittersweet, and Bobby tried his best to keep everybody's spirits up. He had given each Angel a present to give to Frank, and he had even given Frank a gift himself. They were overcompensating, trying to force the frivolity. Bobby saw Frank stealing glances at the empty chair that was Gail's usual seat at the library table. No one dared to sit in it; the first few times anyone had sat there, even if it was by accident, Cas had glared at them until they'd felt compelled to move. </p>
<p>Strangely, Cas seemed almost in good spirits tonight, though, Bobby thought. He must be overcompensating, too. Any time anyone had expressed a desire for another drink, or something to eat, Cas had jumped up from the table and gotten it for them. He seemed full of nervous energy, for some reason. He had insisted on being the one to hand Frank all of his presents to open, and once they had all been opened, he'd told Frank that he still owed him a present. It would be here very soon, Cas had said. He just hadn't had the chance to obtain it yet. He'd been smiling, looking almost happy when he had said that. Bobby saw Dean give Cas a look, and Cas had closed his mouth and moved away from Frank then. But he had still been smiling. </p>
<p>When it got to be a little bit later, the Angels said goodnight and accompanied Bobby back to Heaven. Felicia put Robbie to bed, and the humans were sitting around having a few drinks. Except for Gail's continued absence, the scene was eerily reminiscent of Dean's fantasy of earlier. But the mood was a lot more subdued. Frank stayed up for a while, but Dean could tell his heart really wasn't in it, and everyone went to bed early. </p>
<p>Dean woke at dawn, and Cas was sitting at his bedside. He stood as soon as he saw Dean stir. </p>
<p>"Cas, you nearly gave me a heart attack," Dean chided him. But he spoke softly. No sense waking anyone else up. </p>
<p>Dean knew that Cas wasn't going to be able to wait any longer, so he dressed quickly, and then Cas winked them to Los Angeles. </p>
<p>Getting there that early turned out to be beneficial, in a way. The Rev's show was the flavour of the month right now, and people lined up early to get good seats. Cas and Dean were the first ones there, so they were guaranteed to get seats in the front row. </p>
<p>They waited a few hours, and then the doors opened up and they were able to get in. There was still about an hour until the show was due to start. Cas looked excitedly around the room. Dean cautioned him again to stay calm. </p>
<p>"Hi, Sarah," a woman to their left said, and Cas looked in that direction. Gail was standing there, shaking the woman's hand. Dean heard Cas gasp, and he put his hand on his friend's arm, cautioning him, "Stay cool." </p>
<p>Sarah chatted with the woman for a second, and then she moved her way along the front row until she got to where Cas and Dean sat. She froze. Cas! He was staring at her, and he was sitting beside another handsome guy, who had his hand on Cas's arm. </p>
<p>Crap. What should she do here? She couldn't pretend she hadn't seen him; they were looking straight at each other. What was he doing here? </p>
<p>What the hell. There were tons of people around, and it looked like he was here with a friend. She didn't think she'd ever told him where she worked. And, quite honestly, if he was a stalker, he was the world's least motivated one; it had been nearly eight months now since they'd had their weekend together, as near as she could recall. It must just be an amazing coincidence. </p>
<p>"Hi," she said. He jumped to his feet, and she couldn't help but smile. He'd done that in Las Vegas, too. She'd thought it was such an old-fashioned and charming thing to do, at the time. </p>
<p>"Hi," he replied. The man with him stood, too. He was also staring at her. Sarah started to feel self-conscious. Had Cas told this guy about their weekend? She noticed again how good-looking the second man was, almost as handsome as Cas was. Where did these guys come from? And when could she go there? </p>
<p>"I'm Sarah," she said to Cas's friend. </p>
<p>"Dean," he said, and he extended his hand to her. </p>
<p>"I'm pleased to meet you, Dean," Sarah said to him. "Thanks for coming here today. We appreciate the support." She shook his hand, then gave him a pamphlet. </p>
<p>Then she turned to Cas. She'd decided to play it cool. "And you are - ?" </p>
<p>He looked at her hand. He wanted to take it in both of his, so badly. Then he looked into her eyes. They were so strange-looking. A light green colour, paler than Dean's. And her hair was blonde. But he didn't care. It was her face, and it was her smile. "Cas," he told her. "How do you do, Sarah?" </p>
<p>She was confused now. He had just introduced himself to her, as if they had never met before. Maybe he didn't want his friend to know about their hook-up, for some reason. Maybe he was embarrassed by it. Or, worse, maybe he didn't even remember. How embarrassing that would be, if it were true. But the way he had acted in Las Vegas, she found it hard to believe that would be the case. "I'm good, Cas, thanks," she stammered. "Did you and Dean just come for the show?" </p>
<p>"We're in town on business," Dean said. "And, yeah, we wanted to check out the show. We've heard a lot about the Reverend." </p>
<p>Sarah smiled at him. "He's getting to be pretty famous. Which is a good thing, because we believe in the message." </p>
<p>"Which is, what?" Dean asked her. </p>
<p>"That Armageddon is coming," Sarah told him. "He wants to let people know what to expect, so that they can try to survive." </p>
<p>"How does he know about Armageddon?" Cas asked sharply. </p>
<p>She looked at him. "He's a man of the cloth, Cas," Sarah said calmly. </p>
<p>Dean coughed a rude word into his hand. "Sorry, I must be getting a cold," he said, smirking. A man of the cloth, his ass. Did she even watch the show, or just work behind the scenes? If "the Rev" was a man of the cloth, then Dean was the Pope. </p>
<p>Cas smiled gently. "Of course. My apologies," he said softly. She had given him a strange look when he had asked her about Armageddon, but it had probably been more due to his tone than to anything else. He couldn't help it, though. It was so surreal, talking to Gail like this. She was treating him like a stranger, acting like she didn't know him or Dean at all. He supposed she wasn't really acting, though. Lucifer must have wiped her mind clean and given her this new identity. Which led him to wonder about "the Rev", now. Perhaps he had been led here, not only to get Gail back, but to unmask a false prophet. </p>
<p>But until the show started, Cas just wanted to spend a bit more time with Gail, after agonizing over her absence for so long. So he smiled at her again. "Do you have a minute to sit down with us?" he asked her. "I'd really like to ask you some questions." He extended his hand to her as he usually did, and Sarah took it automatically. His smile widened, and he gave her hand a brief squeeze. </p>
<p>Now, why had she gone and done that? She just hadn't been able to resist, for some reason. And now she was moving a little closer to him. He was still gorgeous, and he still had those killer blue eyes. He seemed perfectly normal now, and he was here with a friend, who struck her as being a nice, normal guy. </p>
<p>"I guess I could sit for a minute," Sarah said. There was an empty seat right next to Cas. He looked at it, wishing he could pull it out for her, but this was an auditorium, so the seats were all attached. Cas waited until she was seated to sit down, though, as was his custom. Sarah smiled again. </p>
<p>"What would you like to know?" Sarah asked them. </p>
<p>Cas had absolutely no idea what to say to her now. He'd just wanted her to stay. She had let go of his hand to sit down, but she was sitting so close to him that it was hard to concentrate. </p>
<p>"What are we supposed to do about Armageddon?" Dean said, coming to Cas's rescue. </p>
<p>More people were filing into the theatre now, and the noise level was getting louder. Sarah leaned across Cas to answer Dean's question, and it took all the self-control Cas had not to just put his arms around her and kiss her. This was definitely Gail. He had kissed that face enough times to know. He knew every curve and angle of her face by now. </p>
<p>But, what was he going to do about her? She clearly thought she was someone else, and she didn't even seem to remember him from their Las Vegas weekend now. Dean was right; Cas couldn't just grab her and start kissing her. She would probably slap him in the face. </p>
<p>"There's nothing we CAN do about it," she was saying to Dean. "All we can do is try to ride it out, as best we can. Then, when it's over, those that are left alive can start to rebuild." </p>
<p>"Has the Reverend said anything about a specific number, or type, of people who will be left to rebuild?" Dean asked her. Partly it was just to keep her talking, while he tried to make up his mind, but a small part of him was looking to find out if that virgin thing was really true. </p>
<p>"Yes, of course. The number will be 144,000. Like it says in Revelation," Sarah told him. "And Gordon says it'll be the people who want it the most. They're who will survive. That's why he preaches living life to the fullest." </p>
<p>"I'm all for that," Dean said, grinning. </p>
<p>"Good for you, Dean," Sarah remarked, answering his smile. She liked Dean. He put out a good vibe. Then she looked up, as the lights in the auditorium began to dim. "Oh, crap. Guys, I've got to go," she said. "That signal means five minutes till showtime." </p>
<p>"Wait," Cas said into her ear before she had the chance to rise from her seat. He couldn't let her just walk away from him again. Sarah felt his breath in her ear, and his lips had grazed her there. Suddenly, she was back in Las Vegas. His lips had been all over her, then. She turned her head to look at him. </p>
<p>"I have to go, Cas," she said softly. </p>
<p>"I don't want you to go," he said to her. </p>
<p>Now she didn't want to go, either. She wanted him to kiss her. This was crazy. She had run away from him in Las Vegas. And now he had shown up here out of the blue after all this time, and all she could think of was inviting him back to her place. </p>
<p>"I have to go, Cas," she repeated. The music was starting to play now. Gordon would probably be pissed off if she wasn't in her usual spot before he took the stage. He always looked for her before he went on. But, maybe when she told him who she'd been sitting with, he would understand. Then again, maybe she'd better not take the chance. Now that she'd thought about it, Gordon might just be jealous of Cas. If Gordon felt about her the way she was starting to suspect he felt about her, she'd better not point Cas out to him. </p>
<p>But she couldn't stop looking at Cas's beautiful blue eyes. He was looking at her with such warmth, the same way he'd looked at her in Las Vegas when they had been having dinner, and walking down the Strip, and then later, when they'd been in bed together. Like he loved her. </p>
<p>"Can I see you after the show?" he asked her. </p>
<p>She wanted to; she really did. But maybe she'd better not. "I have to work tonight," she blurted out. "But if you're here tomorrow, we'll see." Then she jumped up from her chair and ran backstage, disappearing from Cas's view. </p>
<p>Cas and Dean stood outside the theatre once the show was over. </p>
<p>"Wasn't that one hell of a show?" Dean asked Cas, bemused. He still couldn't believe it. The Reverend was a real nutbag. But the audience really seemed to like him, and Dean would have laughed the whole thing off as a big joke if he hadn't heard people saying "Amen" and "Praise be" in the audience throughout the show. The whole thing smacked of cultism to him, and he thought the Rev was the worst kind of charlatan. Just another slimy guy looking to profit from people's religious mania, and paranoia about the end of the world. </p>
<p>Cas was shaking. He couldn't believe it, either. That so-called "Reverend" was the worst sort of false prophet he could imagine. He was bombastic, he was profane, and there didn't seem to be any kind of point to his rambling diatribe. He'd merely advised the audience that Armageddon was at hand, and they should send as much money as possible in to the "Devlin Ministry" because they wouldn't need it soon, anyway. Unbelievable. And Gail was working for a man like that? But Cas had to remember that she was not herself at the moment. Lucifer had corrupted her mind and sent her to work for that man, probably thinking that it would be amusing. Lucifer had obviously taken Gail away from Castiel just to make him suffer. And he had suffered; he had suffered plenty. But he had found her now, and even though she still didn't know who she was, or who they were together, she had nonetheless given him a crumb of encouragement. She'd said that "if" he came back tomorrow, she would talk to him again. He smiled. "If", indeed. He was never leaving here again, not until he would be able to bring her back home with him. </p>
<p>"I'll take you back to the bunker, and then I'll come back here," Cas told Dean. Then he smiled. "You might want to tell Bobby that I'll be here for a while. I'm going to stay calm, Dean. But I'm not coming back without her." </p>
<p>But Dean was shaking his head. Why was he doing that? </p>
<p>"It's not her, Cas," Dean said. </p>
<p>Cas was stunned. "What do you mean, it's not her?" he said. "Of course it's her!" </p>
<p>"I don't think it is, Cas," Dean insisted. </p>
<p>Cas was angry now. "Why are you saying that, Dean?" he shouted. "You're supposed to be our friend!" </p>
<p>"That's WHY I'm saying it, Cas. I think you want it to be her so badly that you're imagining things," Dean said quietly. </p>
<p>Cas wound up and punched Dean in the face, and Dean staggered back from the blow. He kept his feet, though, and he wiped his bleeding mouth with the back of his hand. He looked at Cas calmly. "Go ahead and hit me again, if you need to," Dean told him. </p>
<p>Cas nearly did, but then he took a deep breath instead. "I'll take you back to the bunker now," he said coolly. </p>
<p>Cas paced the floor at the bunker for a while and then he went out to the garage, where Frank was working on his car. Dean was sitting in the library area, holding an ice pack to his face with one hand and a drink in the other and brooding. Sam had asked him where he and Cas had been, and why his lip was bleeding, but Dean wouldn't tell him. Then Sam had asked Cas, and Cas had given him the standard Angel double-speak. </p>
<p>Frank looked up as Cas approached him. "Hey. Where were you and Dean this morning?" Frank asked, wiping his hands on a rag. </p>
<p>"Why does everyone assume that Dean and I always go everywhere together?" Cas said in a light tone. </p>
<p>Frank did a double-take. Cas sounded almost...happy. "Why do you Angels always answer a question with another question?" Frank said dryly. </p>
<p>"I found her, Frank," Cas blurted out. </p>
<p>Frank dropped the rag on the floor and rushed over to where Cas stood. "What? Where?" he said anxiously. </p>
<p>"She's in Los Angeles, working on a TV show," Cas replied. </p>
<p>Frank studied his face. If this had been a conversation on any other subject, Frank would swear that Cas was making one of his lame-ass jokes. But there was no way that Cas would ever joke about Gail's disappearance. So he had to be sincere. </p>
<p>Frank clapped Cas on the shoulder. "Well, what are we waiting for? Let's go get her!" </p>
<p>But Cas was frowning. "She doesn't know who she is, Frank. She thinks that her name is Sarah. And she's got blonde hair, and green eyes." </p>
<p>Frank stared at him. Had Cas finally lost his mind over this? "Well, how can it be her, then?" </p>
<p>"It's not," Dean said. He had just entered the garage. He should have figured as much. Cas was digging his heels in now, and now he was bringing in the big guns. But Dean was pissed off at his friend. Just because Cas refused to accept reality didn't mean he should get Gail's brother's hopes up like this. </p>
<p>Cas wheeled on Dean, and Dean almost took a step back. Was Cas going to hit him again? But Cas merely said, "You're wrong, Dean." </p>
<p>Frank's brow was furrowed. "I'm confused now. Is it her, or isn't it?" </p>
<p>Cas turned back to him. "It's her, Frank. I know it's her. Dean can say what he wants, but I'm the one who knows her the best. I don't care what colour her hair is, or what colour her eyes are at the moment. I know every curve and angle of her face. I know her smile. I know how she looks when she's surprised, and she was surprised to see me this morning. But she was happy to see me, too, Frank. She told me to come back and see her tomorrow." </p>
<p>"That's not actually what she said, Cas," Dean corrected him. "She said that IF you were there tomorrow, she MIGHT see you. And she didn't even acknowledge that she'd ever met you before." </p>
<p>"It doesn't matter, Dean," Cas said. He was becoming frustrated now. She did know me, and she was happy to see me." He turned back to Frank. "Come with me, Frank. You're her brother. You'll recognize her, I'm sure." </p>
<p>Frank frowned at Dean. He didn't know why Dean was so convinced it wasn't her, if Cas was. Maybe Cas wanted this girl to be her so badly that he was delusional. But if there was even a chance that she was Gail, Frank had to go and see for himself. "Sure, Cas. Of course I'll go with you," he said. </p>
<p>Dean threw up his hands in frustration. Now Cas was going to get Frank all wound up, too. "Fine," he said. He turned and left the garage. </p>
<p>"Another friend?" Sarah said, when Cas introduced her to Frank. "And this guy's another tall one. Where do you guys come from? The Land of the Giants?" </p>
<p>Frank took the hand she offered him, and he scrutinized her face. Man, this was weird. It was bad enough being introduced to a woman who was possibly your own sister like she had never met you before. But this one had blonde hair, and weird, light-coloured eyes. She'd quipped like Gail would, though, and she was a short little thing, too, just like his little sister. But he couldn't say definitively, one way or the other. She was spouting off about the Rev like he was the second coming, and that didn't feel like his sister to him. She should be able to tell that the guy was a fraud, and a joke. So Frank was squarely on the fence. </p>
<p>Sarah wondered about this guy Frank. Cas had introduced him as another co-worker. He wasn't as good-looking as Cas or even Dean, but he had a pleasant enough face, and an easy smile. She chatted with the men for a few minutes before the show. Gordon had been a little annoyed with her yesterday for her late appearance backstage, and she'd told him that she was working on some new converts to mollify him. But now, she was wondering if there might be some truth to that. Was Cas bringing these men here to help spread the word? Or was it just an excuse to see her again? But if that was the case, it was her own fault, really. She was the fool who had told him to come back. She had phrased it very casually, but Sarah had to admit she'd been pleased when she had seen him sitting in the front row again today. What did he want, though? Was he looking for another hook-up, maybe, bringing his co-workers as a shield in case she rejected him again? Or did he honestly think they'd just met yesterday? </p>
<p>Five minutes before showtime, Sarah excused herself. "Will you come see me here tomorrow?" Cas asked her. Now she was wary. Was he starting to get attached again? He seemed normal enough right now, but he was with a co-worker, and they were surrounded by lots of people. "How long are you in town for, Cas?" she countered. </p>
<p>He smiled. "Until the project is finished," he answered vaguely. </p>
<p>Sarah frowned. She wasn't sure she liked the sound of that. But maybe she was just being paranoid, because his co-worker Frank said, "Yeah, we're not sure how long the boss will spring for our fancy L.A. hotel rooms," and he had smiled. </p>
<p>Still, she merely said, "We'll see, Cas," and she walked away. </p>
<p>"I don't know, Cas," Frank said to him outside. "I honestly don't know. Part of me says it's her, but part of me says it's not." </p>
<p>Cas was agitated. How could her own brother not know her? "It's her, Frank. How could you possibly not be able to tell it's her?" he said insistently. </p>
<p>Now Frank was starting to see Dean's point. Cas wanted Gail back so badly that he had glommed on to the first woman he'd seen who even resembled her. "Go ahead," he said to Cas. </p>
<p>Cas furrowed his brow. "Go ahead?" he echoed. "Go ahead and what?" </p>
<p>"Go ahead and hit me," Frank said dryly, "because if I have to pick, I'd say it's not her. But I agree with you; there's quite a resemblance." </p>
<p>Cas took a deep breath. He was trying not to lose his temper. This was Gail's brother, and Dean had spent countless hours with her also, sometimes in close quarters. How could either of them not recognize her? Frank had taken her hand today. How could he not recognize that hand? The instant Gail had taken Cas's hand, it had found its way back home. She even smelled like herself. </p>
<p>Cas had been hoping that she would leave the studio after the show and he could see her and talk to her. But she must exit through the back, and there was security posted there. So he guessed there wasn't much point in hanging around here anymore today, not until he came up with a plan. </p>
<p>"I'll take you back to the bunker, Frank," Cas said. "Then I'll come back tomorrow and engage her in some more conversation. It's her, Frank. You'll see. Dean will see. It's her." </p>
<p>Cas was obsessed, Frank realized. This wasn't healthy. But Gail's brother was still on the fence, and he supposed a bit more investigation couldn't hurt. And it would give Cas something to do, so he wasn't lurking around the bunker, driving them all nuts. </p>
<p>Cas was pacing around in the bunker, waiting for the morning, when he heard Crowley's voice in his head. Come to the crossroads; the King might have news about Gail. </p>
<p>The magic word was spoken, and Cas disappeared immediately. </p>
<p>"I may know where she is," Crowley said without preliminary. </p>
<p>He had been curious what his Brother's reaction would be. Would he actually smile at Crowley, maybe even clap his hand on his shoulder, as he sometimes did with Dean? </p>
<p>No. Of course not. Castiel frowned. "I already know where she is," he told Crowley. "Was that all you wanted to say?" </p>
<p>Crowley looked at him, astonished. He didn't know what to feel more: surprise that Castiel had actually found Gail, or anger at his arrogance. He settled for some of each. "I didn't have to call you, you know. You and I don't exactly work for the same team. I could have just left you to twist in the wind." </p>
<p>Once again, Cas made the effort to hold his temper. He had to acknowledge that was true. And Crowley had actually taken the initiative to call Castiel himself. He no longer needed the King of Hell for the information, but he may need him for a resource in the future. And Cas was curious. So he merely said, "How did you find out where she was?" </p>
<p>"There's a fly in the ointment," Crowley replied enigmatically. </p>
<p>"In English, please," Castiel said testily. </p>
<p>Crowley smiled. "I have a spy. He's posing as a defector. He's been going around to the various cities where there are clusters of Demons. I believe them to be, for lack of a better term, terrorist cells. Apparently, they're waiting for instructions from Lucifer. It was on his orders that the attacks in Detroit were carried out." </p>
<p>Castiel thought about that. Had Lucifer orchestrated that killing spree, knowing full well that Dean and Ethan would respond, and would call their human and Angel friends in for backup? That seemed like a very plausible scenario. Strange that there had been no further incidents, though. </p>
<p>"At any rate, it's this individual who has reported to me that he saw a woman who bears a very strong resemblance to Gail, in Los Angeles. That's what I came here to tell you," Crowley continued. "How did YOU find out?" </p>
<p>Castiel told him about Dean's discovery of Gail on the television show, and his forays to Los Angeles with Dean and Frank. </p>
<p>"Why isn't she back in your loving arms, then?" Crowley said sarcastically. </p>
<p>"She still doesn't know who she is," Castiel replied sadly. "She's got blonde hair and green eyes now. Dean and Frank don't even believe it's her, but I know it is." </p>
<p>"Then why don't you just take her?" Crowley asked him. The King of Hell was puzzled. The Castiel he knew wasn't normally so passive. </p>
<p>"Because a part of me is starting to wonder if they might be right," Cas said quietly. "Dean seems so sure it wasn't her, and Frank isn't sure. Her own brother. But she knew my name! How could she have known me, then, if she doesn't know who she is?" </p>
<p>"Did she know Frank, or Dean?" Crowley asked him. </p>
<p>Castiel frowned. "No." </p>
<p>"But she knew who you were?" Crowley asked. </p>
<p>"Well, not exactly," Cas said uneasily. "At least, she didn't acknowledge that she did. But I know that she did. Just the way she looked at me, and the way she took my hand, when I offered it." </p>
<p>"Did she take Dean's hand, or Frank's, when they extended theirs? I believe humans call that a handshake, Castiel," Crowley said dryly. </p>
<p>"Yes, all right, she took their hands, too. But it was different with me," Cas insisted stubbornly. "She looked at me differently." </p>
<p>"And how was that, Castiel? Like she was considering getting a restraining order, perhaps?" Crowley said, smirking. "My employee showed me a picture he took of this girl, and he said he made some inquiries. She's worked for this so-called preacher for a year and a half, and her name is Sarah. For the record, I have my doubts as to whether it's her, as well. The picture was a bit blurry, but the girl in it didn't resemble the Gail I know. And, at the risk of having you draw your blade, I daresay that there were a couple of points at which I knew her quite well." </p>
<p>Crowley's hand was poised, ready to draw his own blade once Castiel drew his. If his Brother wanted to attack him over what he'd said, so be it. But Crowley was being sincere. He himself was skeptical that this woman actually was Gail. He had merely been exercising due diligence in informing Castiel. And maybe he'd wanted to stick the knife into his Brother a little. Their Father had blessed Castiel with a loving relationship, and the Angel kept screwing it up. </p>
<p>But Castiel did not draw his blade. Instead, he was staring at Crowley speculatively. "You did, didn't you?" he said slowly. "You need to come to Los Angeles to see her. Maybe you will recognize her." </p>
<p>Crowley was startled. "You want me to go to Los Angeles, to look at Gail? Or, this Sarah, should I say?" </p>
<p>Castiel nodded. "Yes." </p>
<p>Crowley's lips twitched. "With you?" </p>
<p>Castiel hesitated a moment. "Yes. You can see her and talk to her up close, and you will see that it's her." His lips twitched too now. "And if you don't believe it's her, I know you'll be brutally honest with me about it." </p>
<p>Crowley shook his head slowly. God's chief lieutenant and the King of Hell, attending a televangelist's show together to see if they could identify an Angel? Where was Gail with her quips now? </p>
<p>She was in Gordon's office, and they were having a drink together. </p>
<p>He was eyeing her suspiciously. He'd been waiting for her to tell him that she'd been spending her time talking with Castiel before the show, both today and yesterday. He hadn't felt the pulse of another Original in the room, nor seen him coming, but yet there Castiel had been, sitting right in the front row. But she hadn't said a word. He knew that she wouldn't know Dean, of course, or the guy from today, who Lucifer assumed was probably her brother, Frank. But she would remember Castiel from their hot, steamy weekend in Las Vegas, and she and Gordon had joked about her mystery man. Was she embarrassed? </p>
<p>What was Castiel waiting for, then? And how had he found her, anyway? This was premature, and Lucifer was not happy about it. He'd wanted to seduce Gail and make her his girlfriend before allowing Castiel to find her. He had made a few inroads with Gail, but she was still holding him at arms' length. And here was Castiel now, with his good looks and dazzling blue eyes, chatting her up. Even if she didn't remember that she loved his Brother, she would no doubt be feeling all warm and tingly from that weekend in Las Vegas. It was strange that Castiel had brought the others with him, though. Why? </p>
<p>"Who's that good-looking guy you've been talking to before the show for the past couple of days?" Gordon asked her in a light tone. </p>
<p>Sarah looked at him, startled. She didn't think he'd known, and she hadn't planned on telling him. </p>
<p>"I see everything, Sarah," Gordon said coolly, sitting back in his chair and draining his drink. He held out his glass. "How about you get us another, and we can talk about that?" </p>
<p>She frowned, but rose with her glass, and took his. She prepared the drinks at the bar, then brought them back to his desk, re-taking her seat. </p>
<p>"That's Cas," she told him. "The guy I was with in Vegas." </p>
<p>"Really?" He feigned surprise. "Why didn't you tell me?" </p>
<p>"I don't know," Sarah said uncomfortably. "At first I thought he was here for me, because of...well, never mind. Anyway, he's really here on business, and he's brought a couple of his co-workers to the show. I think he might just be here for the message." </p>
<p>"Naah, he's probably here for you," Lucifer said, making sure to keep the light, teasing tone in his voice. "I'll bet you showed him a very good time in Vegas, and he's looking for more of the same." </p>
<p>"I wondered about that, too," Sarah mused aloud. "But that was eight months ago, Gordon. And besides, I'm not even sure he remembers me. He introduced himself to me yesterday." </p>
<p>Gordon smirked. "Oh, he remembers you, all right. A guy never forgets a woman who gives him a good blow job." </p>
<p>Sarah set her glass down on the desk with a bang. "Look, Gordon, I know that's how you like to talk sometimes. But I'm not comfortable with that. I'm sorry I even told you anything about that weekend." </p>
<p>Lucifer frowned momentarily. Damn Castiel. Why did he have to show up now? Despite the prudish way Gail was behaving, Lucifer was sure that he could get her to open her legs for him, given a little bit more time. He knew that she liked it, and she'd been doing without for a long time now. He was growing impatient, though, and Castiel's sudden appearance wasn't helping. If Lucifer couldn't get Gail to open her legs willingly, he'd damn well force them open, then. But that hadn't been the plan, and Lucifer wanted his way. </p>
<p>He tried an ingratiating smile on for size. "I'm sorry, Sarah. Maybe I'm just jealous. He's astonishingly good-looking, and I know I'm not. Hell, I'd even do him, if I swung that way." </p>
<p>Sarah didn't quite know what to say to that. She picked her drink back up and took a sip, stalling until she could figure out what to say. "Well, he's just in town on business for a short time, anyway," she decided on. "And this is the only place I've ever seen him." </p>
<p>"Has he asked you out?" Gordon wanted to know. </p>
<p>"No, he hasn't," Sarah replied. Technically, she was telling the truth. He'd just asked if he could see her tomorrow. But she didn't feel like telling Gordon that. "I'm sure he's moved on, Gordon." </p>
<p>"But, have YOU?" Gordon asked her pointedly. </p>
<p>"Yes, I have," Sarah replied. But now, she was lying. </p>
<p>Cas disappeared from the bunker early in the morning. He hadn't told anyone where he was going. Frank and Dean would probably surmise that he had gone to Los Angeles again. Let them. He didn't care. But he hadn't been prepared to say who he was taking this time around. He was annoyed with them enough right now as it was, and he didn't need the extra trouble he would receive if they were to discover that he had a date with the King of Hell. </p>
<p>He summoned Crowley, and Crowley appeared instantly. Castiel did a double-take. The King was dressed in a suit and tie, as usual, but he had a red rose in his lapel. </p>
<p>Crowley saw his Brother looking, and he smirked. "What? I wanted to look nice for our date." </p>
<p>Cas rolled his eyes. He was already regretting this. But he needed confirmation from someone, just one person, that Sarah was indeed Gail. So far, no one had seemed to believe him. If Crowley also thought it was her, that would justify Cas's obsession. </p>
<p>Castiel told Crowley the address of the TV studio. "We'll go there now. We have to stand in line in order to be in the front row. I'll meet you there," Cas said to him. </p>
<p>"It's our first date, and you're not even going to hold my hand?" Crowley quipped. </p>
<p>Castiel glared at him. Crowley would be lucky if he wasn't holding Cas's blade by the end of the morning, stuck right through the middle of his palm, if he kept up with the smart remarks. "Let's go," he said, and winked out. </p>
<p>Crowley grinned. This should be a lot of fun. </p>
<p>Castiel and Sarah were talking with their heads close together now, and Crowley was bemused. This looked awfully familiar to him. Except for Gail's blonde hair and green eyes, of course, and the fact that the two of them weren't quite touching each other. But Castiel was still looking at her with that moony, lovestruck expression. It was a good thing for his Brother that this WAS Gail; otherwise, the woman would probably be on the phone with the police, and Gail would have killed him if she'd seen him like this with a different woman. Castiel couldn't take his eyes off of her. </p>
<p>When Sarah had first come over and the men had stood from their seats, she had smiled at Castiel. "Another co-worker?" she'd said, extending her hand to Crowley. </p>
<p>"I'm the boss," Crowley had said, smiling back at her. Then he'd taken her hand in both of his, just to piss Castiel off further. "And I'm very pleased to make your acquaintance, Sarah." </p>
<p>"Oh, you're British," she had remarked. "I just love your accent." </p>
<p>Crowley gave her a small bow, smirking at Castiel's expression. He held onto her hand a moment longer, and then he removed the rose from his lapel and gave it to her. "A beautiful flower for a beautiful lady." </p>
<p>Sarah's smile widened. "Thank you," she said, sniffing at the rose. </p>
<p>"Taken from my own personal garden," Crowley told her. And he did have one, too. Crowley had always liked the finer things in life. A few of the Demons who currently enjoyed Crowley's favour were the gardeners, and a few who had especially annoyed him were in charge of the fertilizer. </p>
<p>"So, Armageddon is upon us, is it?" Crowley asked Sarah. "And your boss is here to tell us how to survive it?" Castiel had briefed him shortly before she'd appeared, so he would have something to converse with her about. </p>
<p>Sarah was pleased. Not only had Cas brought his boss here as a potential convert, but this man was courtly and charming. Cas certainly kept some good company. "Yes," she answered Crowley. "He really cares about people." </p>
<p>"When did he receive the call?" Crowley asked her, his eyes twinkling. </p>
<p>Sarah paused. "You know what? I don't really know. He's never shared that particular story with me." She smiled again. "I guess I'll have to ask him about that sometime." </p>
<p>Cas felt a little nervous now. She'd looked strange when she was talking about the "Reverend". Almost as if she had some kind of warm feelings towards him, or something. </p>
<p>Crowley had noticed that, too. He was glad he had come now. And he was intrigued by this preacher fellow, too. Last night, in preparation for coming here today, he had done some research on the Reverend Devlin. Funny, if you removed the "n" in his last name, it could be an anagram for "devil". Crowley found this amusing. And from what he had been able to discern, so was the man himself. He had come for the opening act, but now, he wanted to stay for the show. </p>
<p>Then she had moved on to Castiel, and she had sat down next to him. Crowley continued to observe them. It was kind of strange that the seat next to Castiel was empty, though. The rest of the theatre was packed. Lucky that Sarah was also in charge of ticket availability for the show; after that first day, she had pulled that seat number from the package of available seats. Just in case. </p>
<p>"It's good to see you again, Sarah," Cas said to her as she sat down. </p>
<p>"It's nice to see you too, Cas," she replied. "And it's great to see another one of your co-workers here, ready to receive the message. I'm impressed that you brought your boss this time." </p>
<p>Cas leaned in close. "He's not the boss, not really. He just thinks he is. So, we humour him in his delusion." He smiled, and Sarah laughed. "I think there's one of those in every workplace," she said to him. </p>
<p>Crowley was fairly certain that the two of them were having a laugh at his expense; it certainly wouldn't be the first time. But he was too preoccupied to care. There was too much going on in his head right now. </p>
<p>First of all, he knew without a doubt that Sarah was indeed Gail. He'd known it the instant she'd stood before him, and if he'd had any doubts at all, they would have been erased the second he'd taken her hand. He hadn't had the opportunity to hold it all that much, but Crowley remembered very well how her hand had felt in his. So Dean thought that she wasn't Gail, and Frank wasn't sure? How could that possibly be? Actually, Frank, he could see, perhaps. The brother and sister hadn't spent that much time together in the past few years, due to the actions of Crowley himself, and then later, to the actions of Castiel, during his Demon days. But, Dean? That really did surprise Crowley. Dean was a connoisseur of women. He and Gail had never had THAT type of relationship, of course. But, still. Crowley had stolen a few glances at her body, and he found it hard to believe that Dean would not have recognized her on that basis alone. Castiel obviously had; but then, his Brother was much more intimately familiar with her in that regard. How he was restraining himself from touching her now was beyond Crowley. The two of them had been going at it like rabbits when they'd had the Demon blood in them. But apparently, no one was supposed to talk about that any more. The whole lot of them seemed to have decided to act like that had never happened. Well, if that was how they preferred to live, far be it from Crowley. But the bottom line was that Crowley had touched that body too, and he recognized her curves, and the way she moved. Whether or not he was going to share this opinion with his Brother remained to be seen. </p>
<p>Crowley had also noticed a woman peeking out from behind the stage curtain. She had an attractive enough face, but it was hideously scarred on one side. She was looking at Gail and Castiel, and she was scowling. A woman after his own heart. Perhaps she and "Sarah" didn't get along. Crowley knew how catty things could get between women in the workplace, sometimes. </p>
<p>Then a flash of something in the audience caught Crowley's eye as he'd been looking behind him, surveying the studio audience curiously. He'd been idly examining their faces, wondering what sort of people would come to a show like this. He saw Paul, who was sitting halfway back, and he nodded slightly when they'd made eye contact. He would ask Paul for a report after the show. Crowley was pretty sure he recognized some of his subjects sitting with Paul, though, so he would have to be discreet about it so as not to blow Paul's cover. There hadn't been much intelligence to report, but at least Paul had come through with regard to Gail. Crowley had been telling the truth when he'd told the men that he bore Gail no ill will, and that he didn't want to see her with Lucifer. He would likely feel that way even if he didn't still have the blood bond with her, which he strongly suspected that he might. But if he did, he was the only one who had one, now. Castiel and Gail had lost theirs when they had been cleansed by the cure, and the potion had also washed away Gail's attraction towards Crowley. But the King of Hell had partaken in no such potion; therefore, he was still drawn to Gail. It was lucky that he had only taken one vial of her blood into himself, though; otherwise, he and Castiel would have had a real problem. So, while Crowley didn't believe he actually loved Gail, per se, he felt affection towards her, and he didn't want to see harm come to her. And he would never tell any of that lot, but he felt responsible for many things that had gone wrong for her in her various existences. And not just because he had had her parents killed in this one. </p>
<p>That was one reason why he was contemplating not telling Castiel what his findings were. If Gail was happy as Sarah, maybe they should all just leave her alone. All she'd ever experienced with Castiel had been heartbreak and tragedy. And Lucifer and Metatron would have no real reason to come after her if she was living her life as Sarah. It was only when she was with Castiel, and with the Winchesters, that she was exposed to constant danger. </p>
<p>As Crowley scanned the audience, he saw another familiar face, and this one startled him. It was Oliver, the psychic who had been the conduit for them to speak with his mother while she had been in the Netherworld. What on earth was HE doing here? Last Crowley had heard, Oliver was an atheist. Maybe he had suddenly gotten religion after they had all darkened his door. He grinned. Maybe he should call out to Oliver and wave, just to see his reaction. Crowley hadn't had a good laugh in a very long time. </p>
<p>And what ABOUT Crowley's mother, anyway? He hadn't seen her or heard from her since she had been returned to life. Odd. Where was she, and what had she been doing all this time? And, why hadn't he heard from her? Rowena liked to stir things up; Crowley couldn't imagine her just sitting in a cottage somewhere, knitting doilies. Crowley and Gail had planned to team up after the cure to kill his mother, or at least, he thought that had been the plan, at the time. But Gail had gone back to her former Angelic ways after that, and then they had all been preoccupied with Lucifer's escape. Well, she was certainly not in any condition to help him right now. </p>
<p>He saw a woman with long, raven-black hair standing near the back, and he did a double-take. Except for the hair, she had looked to him exactly like his mother, for a minute there. She turned away then, and her hair fell across her cheek, obscuring her face. Then Crowley decided he was being ridiculous. That was the same thing the other men had accused Castiel of, in a way. Crowley had just been thinking about Rowena; that was why he had seen her face on that other woman. But that was where their similarity ended: unlike Castiel with Gail, Crowley had absolutely no desire to see Rowena again. </p>
<p>"Can I take you out for a cup of coffee after the show today?" Cas was asking Sarah now. </p>
<p>She was seriously considering it. Sarah had to admit that she had started to hope that he would be here in the morning before the show, and when she saw that he was, she had been happy about it. She supposed a cup of coffee couldn't hurt, and she would get to look at that face and those eyes of his while they talked. She really wanted to know now if he even did remember their weekend in Las Vegas. Maybe he just hadn't wanted to talk about it in front of his colleagues. Now she was hoping that he did remember it. How humiliating would it be if he didn't? Funny, he'd behaved like some kind of a whacko stalker on that last day in Vegas, but now she was starting to feel like she was the whacko. Ever since he'd shown up here on that first day, he was all that she could think about. After each day's show was over, she would go about her routine, but she felt like she was just going through the motions, marking time until the next day, when she could see him again. This was crazy, and it was stupid. He was just in town on business, and eventually he would leave. And then what would she do? Follow him to the airport and beg him not to go, the same as he'd done with her? </p>
<p>No. Sarah wasn't into getting her heart broken, and she didn't crave rejection. So when he left town, that would be it for her. </p>
<p>But Cas was taking her hand gently now, and he said, "Please, Sarah. Just a cup of coffee." </p>
<p>Who was she kidding? "OK, Cas. One cup of coffee. I'll meet you in front of the theatre. But it won't be right away. I have a few things to do after the show's over. Do you have the time to hang around? Or do you have to work?" </p>
<p>"I'll be there when you're done," he assured her, "no matter how long it takes." </p>
<p>Then it was almost time for the show to begin, and she jumped up from her seat as the lights began to dim. Cas rose too, and curiously to Sarah, so did his boss. Now that she thought about it, it was strange that Cas hadn't introduced his boss by name. Sarah said goodbye to them both and hurried backstage. Gordon had seemed annoyed last night, so she wanted to show up in plenty of time before he went onstage. </p>
<p>Gordon came out into the corridor, and his face broke into a smile when he saw her already standing there. </p>
<p>"Have a good show," Sarah told him. </p>
<p>He walked up to her and took her hands on his. "I'm glad you're always here before I go on," he said, smiling down at her. "Gives me the inspiration I need. Now, how about a little more inspiration?" He leaned down to kiss her on the lips, but she averted her head at the last second, and he ended up kissing her hair. </p>
<p>Gordon frowned. "Let me guess. Cas is here again today." </p>
<p>Sarah tried to ignore his sharp tone. "Yeah, and he brought another convert," she said, attempting to mollify him. "His boss. A very well-dressed British gentleman." </p>
<p>Gordon squeezed her hands painfully. "Ow!" she exclaimed, jerking her hands away from his. </p>
<p>"I'm sorry, Sarah," Lucifer said distractedly. But he was stunned now. No. It couldn't be. He had neither seen nor felt them. And why would Castiel be here with Crowley, of all people? Were the two of them planning to team up to try to kill him? Were they going to abduct Gail away from him? He moved to the curtain and parted it cautiously, and sure enough, there they were. The chief Angel and the King of Hell, sitting next to each other. There was no way he was going out there. One or the other of them were dangerous enough. They shouldn't know it was him; but had they found out, somehow? No. They had to be here for her. </p>
<p>Well, they weren't going to have her. Lucifer had been enjoying this game far too much to stop playing it now. But he wanted to avoid a full-scale confrontation, if he could. </p>
<p>He turned to the stage manager. "Show's cancelled for today. You'll have to tell them I'm indisposed." Then he took Sarah by the arm. "Come to my office, Sarah." </p>
<p>She looked at him. "What's the matter, Gordon?" </p>
<p>"I'm not feeling well," he told her. </p>
<p>"You were fine a moment ago," she pointed out. </p>
<p>"Well, I'm not, now," he said. He grabbed her hand and put his other arm around her, propelling her through the stage door. </p>
<p>Sarah was confused. What was wrong with him all of a sudden? It couldn't be the fact that Cas was out there. Maybe Gordon wasn't wild about that fact, but she was sure it wouldn't provoke this type of reaction. Cas had been out there before. </p>
<p>They got to his office, and Gordon sat her down on the couch. Then he sat beside her, taking her hand again. "I'm so sorry, Sarah. I guess I'm just having a bad day. I just really didn't want to go out there today." </p>
<p>"Why not?" she asked him, curious. He was acting strangely, even for him. </p>
<p>Lucifer had to tell her something, so he decided to bastardize the "sermon" he had been going to deliver today. "Because I just can't stand it sometimes, Sarah," he said to her, trying his best to look anguished. "Armageddon is practically here, and so many people are going to die. There's nothing we can do about it, and I can't warn them all, Sarah! I'm supposed to go out there and tell people that thousands of Americans will die tomorrow, knowing that none of us can do a damn thing to stop it! Do you know how hard that is, Sarah? Do you have any idea?" </p>
<p>"No, I don't," she said softly. She felt terrible for Gordon. Sometimes she forgot how sensitive he was, and how much he really cared about people. He was eccentric, and sometimes he was extremely crude, but his heart was in the right place. </p>
<p>"Can I have a hug, Sarah? Please?" he said to her. He was shaking, and he looked like he was about to cry. </p>
<p>It would be the least she could do for him. "Sure, Gordon." She opened her arms and he hugged her. They stayed that way for a minute, and then Gordon disengaged himself from the embrace. </p>
<p>"Thanks for being here for me, Sarah," he said, blinking his eyes as if they stung. Actually, they did, a bit. He had been trying to manufacture some tears, but they wouldn't come. Lucifer just couldn't think of anything sad right now. She had hugged him willingly, and she looked so sorry for him. Perhaps he'd been going about this the wrong way. He thought back to the night that Gail and Castiel had come to the cage. The only time she had ever seemed demonstrative with his Brother on that night was when Castiel had cried and showed her his sad, puppy-dog eyes. Maybe that was the way that he had gotten into her pants. </p>
<p>"Can you please come to lunch with me, Sarah?" he said to her, making his voice tremble. "I need someone to talk to. Maybe I've been going about this Ministry thing the wrong way. Maybe I should just give up." </p>
<p>Sarah was alarmed. "No, Gordon, you can't do that. Please don't do that. People need to receive the message, and they need you to tell it to them." </p>
<p>"I don't know, Sarah," he sighed. </p>
<p>"Well, I do," she said firmly. "Take me to lunch, and we'll talk about it some more." </p>
<p>He smiled. "That would be great. I could use a sympathetic ear. But, I'm not taking you away from anything, am I?" </p>
<p>Cas! Dammit. She'd forgotten. Well, it had just been a cup of coffee. She'd been working for Gordon for nearly two years now, and he was upset, and talking about quitting. The least she could do was listen to him and try to talk him out of it. If Cas was mad, or disappointed in her, so be it. She didn't owe him anything. </p>
<p>Cas stood outside the theatre for a few hours before he realized that she wasn't going to come. It was strange; the stage manager had come out and told everyone that Reverend Devlin was ill, and that there would be no show today. Most of the people in the audience had been upset, but Cas had been happy. He wouldn't be forced to sit there and listen to "the Rev", and he wouldn't have to sit next to the King of Hell, fighting over the armrest for half an hour. And because there would be no show, Gail would likely be coming outside sooner. </p>
<p>As the people began to file out of the auditorium, Castiel had looked at Crowley and said, "So?" </p>
<p>"So?" Crowley had responded. "So, what?" </p>
<p>Castiel glared at him. "Really?" Crowley tried to look innocent. He did so enjoy yanking his Brother's chain. "Is it her, or not?" Castiel continued, raising his voice. </p>
<p>"It had better be, or I'll have to let her know you're thinking of cheating on her," Crowley said, smirking. "Did you not ask that woman out on a date?" </p>
<p>"So, you do believe it's her," Castiel said, relieved. </p>
<p>"What I believe is not important," Crowley answered evasively. "It's what you believe that's important." </p>
<p>Cas let out a breath, frustrated. "Be that as it may, I want to know: Do you think it's her?" </p>
<p>"Does it matter?" Crowley shot back. He hadn't yet made up his mind what he wanted to tell Castiel on that subject, and since the show had been cancelled so abruptly, he hadn't had the time to think about it some more and make his decision. "You've already made up your mind. So do what you will, Castiel. You always do, anyway. I have business to conduct." </p>
<p>By this time they had reached the front of the theatre, and Crowley turned away, melting into the crowd. An instant later, he was gone. </p>
<p>Cas stared after him for a while. Funny how it made him so angry whenever anyone else was evasive with him, yet he realized he'd been answering questions to others that way all his life. But now he knew that bringing Crowley here had been an exercise in futility. All Crowley had done was needle him, and he had not even given him a straight answer about the one thing they had come here together for in the first place. </p>
<p>And now, she wasn't even coming. Had he scared her off somehow? Put too much pressure on her? But he'd only asked her to have a cup of coffee with him, and she had said yes. Obviously, she'd had second thoughts about it. Or, had she not been able to show up due to the show's sudden cancellation? </p>
<p>Cas needed to bring someone with him tomorrow, someone that he could trust. Someone benevolent. It had been a mistake bringing Crowley here. Even though Gail hadn't recognized Crowley, maybe she could sense that there was something the matter with him. She had always been very intuitive. </p>
<p>He doubted that Dean would come again, and Cas didn't want to ask Frank again, either. But there was someone else who knew her very well, someone who he hadn't asked yet. He would do so tomorrow. He was not going to give up. He was never going to give up.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Hold On To My Heart</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Rowena was amused. She'd stood outside the theatre watching the crowd disperse, just to see if she'd seen what she actually thought she saw. </p>
<p>She was rewarded a few minutes later when she saw Oliver come scurrying out of the theatre, like the frightened little mouse that he was. His face was pale and his lips were pursed, and he had a briefcase in his hand. So that HAD been him she'd seen. What was an Atheist doing attending a televangelist's show? Or, not attending it, she supposed, as the show had been cancelled for today. Maybe that was why Oliver looked so disappointed. He slunk off, not looking in her direction. </p>
<p>Curious. Maybe Oliver was more psychic than Rowena had given him credit for. She had done some research on Reverend Devlin before showing up here to see him in person, and Rowena was convinced that he was no man of the cloth. The way he talked and the way he conducted himself was so totally contradictory to any religious figure she had ever seen that Rowena couldn't believe he even had a following. There was simply no underestimating the stupidity of people, was there? </p>
<p>She'd arrived late today, so she'd had to sit way in the back. Still, Rowena had wanted to see him in person, and hear the timbre of the Reverend's voice. But the show had been suddenly cancelled, so she supposed she'd have to come back tomorrow. Maybe a little earlier next time, so she could get a better seat. She wondered if Oliver would recognize her in her black wig. Did she even want him to? Perhaps he suspected that there was something wrong with the Reverend, as well. Oliver had been vociferously anti-Demon when he had been reluctantly hosting those seances; maybe he had had a psychic vision about The Rev. Now, Rowena really needed to find out. </p>
<p>Oliver went back to his motel room and threw the briefcase on the bed in frustration. Damn, damn, damn! Just when he believed he had finally worked up the courage to do it, too. </p>
<p>Since he'd gotten to L.A. and taken this cheap motel room, Oliver had alternated between attending Reverend Devlin's shows and hiding out here in his room. He had bought a laptop and thrown it and his rifle in the trunk of his used car along with his suitcase and driven to Los Angeles. It had taken him considerably longer to get there than by flying, but there was no way he would be able to get the gun past airport security. And even if he were to be allowed to bring it packed in the suitcase in the belly of the plane, Oliver didn't want to call any undue attention to himself. What if they scrutinized the bullets and saw the pentagrams carved into them? How would he be able to explain that? </p>
<p>And he was convinced now that he would need those bullets. There was something really wrong with the "Reverend" Devlin. Every time he stood on that stage, talking about Armageddon and making his innuendos, Oliver could see the faint trace of another face beneath that Everyman mask he wore. He was the Devil, the Supreme Evil. But no one else seemed to know it. The audience loved him, and his show was getting top ratings. But Oliver knew who and what he truly was, and Oliver was going to wipe the scourge that was the Rev from the Earth, before things got any worse. </p>
<p>If he could only work up the nerve. He brought his briefcase with him to the show every day, the briefcase that had the handgun in it. Funny, though almost every public venue had electronic scanners at the door these days, the Reverend's studio theatre did not. It was almost as though he knew he could not be harmed by any conventional human weaponry. But he obviously wasn't counting on Oliver, and his extensive knowledge of the occult. Pentagram bullets would do the job; Oliver was sure of it. He had been planning to use them on that Demon and his girlfriend at the fair. But God had smiled upon Oliver that day. When he'd shot the Demon and nothing had happened, Oliver had turned the gun on himself in despair. But the man he'd thought to be a Demon had healed Oliver instead, saving his life. The guy he'd thought of as a Demon had actually been saved, too. He was now an Angel of the Lord, and so was his girlfriend. And ever since that day, Oliver had been looking for a way to repay the Angel's kindness, and to pay his debt to God for having allowed him to live. Oliver wasn't getting any younger, and he wanted to get right with God before his time came. He had spent most of his adult life as an Atheist, but now he knew that he had been wrong. </p>
<p>And murder was wrong, too. But didn't he owe it to the human race to rid them of the Devil himself? So he had come here to pay his debt, and when he'd seen that there were no metal detectors at the theatre, Oliver had gone out and gotten a handgun, and made some more special bullets. He still had the rifle in his room, but it was too large of a weapon to take with him to the show. So he had put the handgun in his briefcase, and he carried it with him everywhere. And after a few weeks of watching the show, he had finally worked up the courage to do it today, but then the show had been abruptly cancelled. It was almost like The Rev had known. </p>
<p>Now Oliver was reconsidering. Maybe he shouldn't do it during the show. There were so many people in the theatre. Maybe he needed to do it somewhere else, somewhere more out in the open, where there was less chance of anyone else getting hurt. Oliver wasn't an expert marksman, by any means. All he would need was for one of his bullets to hit an innocent bystander. Pentagrams notwithstanding, a bullet could kill a human. It would be hard to achieve redemption with the blood of an innocent person on his hands. </p>
<p>Oliver looked at his rifle. It was time for him to find out more about the personal habits of the Reverend Devlin. </p>
<p>Cas sat down at the library table. "I need your help, Sam." </p>
<p>Sam closed the laptop and gave Cas a half-smile. "I was wondering when you'd get around to me." </p>
<p>"You know?" Cas asked him in surprise. </p>
<p>"I do now," Sam replied. "I finally wrestled it out of Dean." He frowned. "What are you doing, Cas?" </p>
<p>Now Cas frowned. "What do you mean, what am I doing? I'm trying to get her back, Sam. That's what I'm doing." </p>
<p>"Dean says it's not her," Sam pointed out. </p>
<p>"I don't care what Dean says," Cas insisted. "He's wrong." </p>
<p>"And Frank said he didn't think it was her, either," Sam went on. </p>
<p>Cas let out a frustrated breath. Why did no one believe him? He knew Gail when he saw her. It was her face, her voice, her laugh, and her body. There could never be another person like her. She was the woman he loved. He knew she was. One wonderful night, months and months ago, when he and Gail had been watching TV, they had seen a show in which a female character had referred to the man she loved as "her person". Cas had smiled at that, and he had given Gail a gentle squeeze. Gail was his person, and Cas was Gail's. The fact that she currently didn't remember that fact made no difference. She had looked at him in the theatre with those odd-coloured eyes as if a part of her still knew it, despite everything. </p>
<p>"It's her," he insisted to Sam stubbornly. "Gail's my person, Sam. She could have any other hair colour, any eye colour, she could be two feet or ten feet tall, and it wouldn't matter. I would know her anywhere. They're wrong. I want you to come with me tomorrow, and you'll see for yourself." </p>
<p>Sam looked at him with sympathy. "OK, Cas. I'll come with you. But if I don't think it's her, will you do us all a favour and forget about this woman? We're all worried about you, Cas. It's bad enough that Gail's gone, without getting Frank all wound up over nothing. And if it's not her, you're wasting time obsessing over a woman who's not her, when you should be looking for the real thing." </p>
<p>Everything that Sam was saying was perfectly reasonable. There was only one problem with it: it was wrong. "You'll see," Cas said shortly, and he got up from the table. </p>
<p>Sarah came over to where they were sitting, and Cas rose to his feet immediately. </p>
<p>"I'm sorry, Cas," she said to him. "By the time I finished up with everything yesterday, it was late afternoon." She didn't want to tell him that Gordon had kept her busy all afternoon, and into the night. She'd had to talk to him for all that time before she finally convinced him not to quit. But that was none of Cas's business, really, and things had eventually worked out. Gordon was back today, and he was prepared to go on. "I hope you're not mad," she added. </p>
<p>"No, I'm not mad," Cas said to her, smiling gently. "But I am hoping you'll give me a claim check today." </p>
<p>She looked at him, puzzled. "A what?" </p>
<p>Sam stood. "I think he means a rain check," he said to her. He extended his hand. "I'm Sam." </p>
<p>Sarah looked at him, and her eyes widened as her head tilted slowly upwards. Wow. Land of the Giants, indeed. This guy was the tallest one yet. "Sarah," she said open-mouthed, taking his hand. Then she looked at Cas. "Let me guess. Yet another co-worker? Where do you work? The Big and Tall Store?" </p>
<p>"Yes," he replied. "I mean, yes, he's a co-worker." He smiled at Sam. "And a friend." </p>
<p>"It's nice to meet you, Sarah," Sam said, still holding on to her hand. He was scrutinizing her face. This woman did resemble Gail; he couldn't argue with that. But her hair was blonde, and her eyes were light green. She was short, like Gail, and her figure was pretty much like Gail's. But it was hard to tell. Sam was going to keep an open mind. He owed it to Cas to give him his honest opinion. </p>
<p>"Good to meet you too, Sam," Sarah said, smiling up at him. Then she looked at Cas again. "You should have brought them all on the same day. We could have given you a group gift, or something. At least the tickets are free, or I'd say you're spending your per diem here. Maybe you can get your boss to expense our coffee later. Or don't they do that in England?" </p>
<p>Sam was staring at Sarah. Why was she talking about England? Then he looked at Cas. No. No way. He didn't. They had all been wondering what Cas was doing yesterday. </p>
<p>"You brought the boss here yesterday?" Sam asked Cas. </p>
<p>Cas was uncomfortable. He hadn't been planning on mentioning that to anyone. He'd just been so desperate for confirmation. "Yes, I did, but I regret it now," Cas told him. </p>
<p>"Why? He seemed very nice," Sarah said. "I guess he was disappointed that the show was cancelled, though. Please give him my apologies." </p>
<p>Sam's lips were twitching now. If this was Gail, she would be finding this really funny now. Then he stopped smiling. Or, maybe it wasn't that funny. Cas was so desperate, so obsessed that he was calling in the King of Hell as his backup now? But was Cas right, or was he wrong? Sam still hadn't formed an opinion. </p>
<p>Sarah sat down with them, and Sam started to ask her questions about Reverend Devlin and his philosophy. She was impressed by his intelligent, thoughtful inquiries, and she took care with her replies. Sam was no fool, and she was trying to make sure that her answers were as well-thought-out as his questions seemed to be. But the more questions he asked, the more defensive she was starting to feel. Sarah started running out of answers pretty quickly. Sam's questions were sharp and incisive, and now he was asking about Reverend Devlin's theology. She had to admit, she didn't really know a lot of the answers to a lot of Sam's questions. And what was up with that, anyway? She had been working for Gordon for nearly two years, and she was out here trying to convey his message to the public. Shouldn't she know this stuff? What exactly WAS the Reverend's message, anyway? Sam seemed like a nice guy, but he was confusing her now. And it didn't help that Cas was sitting so close to her, looking at her the whole time with those blue eyes of his. He hadn't said anything during her and Sam's exchange, but she could feel the warmth of his gaze on her. </p>
<p>Cas could feel her warmth, too. She was leaning across him to speak to Sam, and her arm was touching his. She had a short-sleeved top on, and he could feel the warmth of her skin through his shirt. He was watching her mouth as she spoke to Sam, imagining himself kissing her. This was Gail; he didn't care what anybody said. They would have their coffee date today after the show, and they would talk, just the two of them. He would gently try to jog her memory. But if Lucifer had planted false memories in her mind, Cas knew it would be very difficult to break through. He just had to have faith that she would recognize him, in time. </p>
<p>Sarah was making her apologies, saying the show was about to start soon, and she had to leave. "Can I collect on my - " Cas looked at Sam " - rain check today?" </p>
<p>She considered. Sarah supposed she did owe him one for having stood him up yesterday. "Okay, Cas," she said. "If you can wait outside for a few minutes, I'll sneak off early, and we'll go for coffee." </p>
<p>Sarah stood, and so did Cas, of course. He couldn't contain himself any longer; he reached out and took her hand. "I'm looking forward to seeing you after the show, Sarah," he said softly. </p>
<p>She smiled at him. "So am I, Cas," she replied. And then she was gone. </p>
<p>Sam was thoughtful. Now he could see the dilemma. The woman bore a striking resemblance to Gail. Same height, same posture, same facial characteristics. But her hair was a light blonde, and her eyes were pale green. When she had smiled and talked to Cas, Sam had been convinced that she was Gail. She looked at Cas with a certain light in her eyes that hadn't been there when she'd talked to Sam, almost as if she knew who Cas was, and knew that he was someone she loved. But when she'd been talking to Sam and fielding his questions, that light had gone out, and she'd behaved as though she was talking to a stranger. He had asked her some very direct and pointed questions, too. Whether she was Gail or not, Sam really wanted to know what "the Rev"'s deal was. While Sam knew that you could never go broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public, he strongly suspected that Sarah's boss knew that, too. Sam had approached the subject just as he would have approached an investigation. Where did Devlin come from? What exactly was his theology? How did his Ministry plan to save people from Armageddon? And, if Armageddon was inevitable, which it seemed like Devlin was saying, what was the plan going forward? </p>
<p>Sarah's answers had generally been couched in non-specific terminology, and when Sam had tried to pin her down, she had begun proselytizing. But she was extolling the virtues of the man himself, rather than concentrating on the message. Then she had become defensive, and while she was still professionally polite, Sam could sense that her attitude towards him had cooled. He knew that she might not know who Sam was, but her general attitude and demeanour had been so unlike Gail's during their exchange that Sam had begun to have his doubts. </p>
<p>Then she had walked away, and Sam stared after her as Cas put his hand on Sam's arm. </p>
<p>"You see?" Cas said excitedly. </p>
<p>"That's the trouble," Sam said slowly. "I don't." </p>
<p>Cas's brow furrowed. "What do you mean?" </p>
<p>Sam looked at him. "I can't tell." </p>
<p>Cas was exasperated. This was the third one of them that he'd brought here now. Fourth, if one were to include Crowley. And nobody could tell that it was her? What was wrong with all of them? </p>
<p>"You can't tell," Cas said sarcastically. He took his hand off of Sam's arm. "I would have thought that you, of all people, would be able to tell. You were always the closest to her. Even closer than Frank, in the past couple of years, anyway. Frank remembers her mostly as a younger girl. But I thought that you would recognize her as a woman." </p>
<p>Sam looked at him, eyes narrowing. "What's that supposed to mean?" he asked Cas. </p>
<p>Cas smiled. "Come on, Sam. You're the first one of us that she ever met. You and Gail have a special friendship. I know the two of you have always been close, and I've seen you looking at her, from time to time. In fact, if I hadn't stolen her from you, the two of you might have been a couple. Am I not right, Sam?" </p>
<p>Sam was startled, and he was also more than a little embarrassed. "Cas..." he started to say. </p>
<p>"That's OK, Sam," Cas said, putting his hand on his friend's arm again. "I know. I've always known. Of course you love her. Anyone would. I only hope you're not too upset that she and I fell in love, instead. But she's my person, Sam. I couldn't help it." </p>
<p>Well, if he was going to put it that way...Sam had a lump in his throat now. No, of course he couldn't be upset with Cas, or with Gail, either. How could he be? Yeah, he had liked Gail from the beginning, but once he'd seen how she and Cas were with each other, Sam knew that he had no shot. But he had come to terms with that, and he was still happy to have the relationship he did have with Gail. Cas had been right about that; Sam felt that his and Gail's friendship was special. He had been extremely heartbroken during her absence, and he'd channeled his depression and anxiety over it into research, not showing his feelings to anyone, not even to Dean, really. They needed to get her back. </p>
<p>"We've got to be sure, Cas," he said to his friend now. "We need her back, but we've got to make absolutely sure." Cas opened his mouth to speak again, but Sam held his hand up. "Hold on, hear me out. There's a way we can be sure." </p>
<p>Cas had been about to insist, again, that he already was sure, but Sam's statement intrigued him. "What way is that, Sam?" </p>
<p>"We get a DNA sample," Sam said. "You're having coffee with her after the show, right?" </p>
<p>"Yes, Sam." </p>
<p>"So, you'll have coffee, you'll talk, and then when she's finished her coffee, you'll bring her cup to me. I have a friend who does DNA tests, and he'll let us know for sure," Sam said. He was pleased to have thought of the one definitive way to tell if it was Gail, once and for all. DNA science was foolproof. "In fact, let's blow off this stupid show. I don't want to watch this 'Reverend' guy anyway. I'm pretty sure I know what he's all about," Sam continued, smirking. "If you pop me back to the bunker, I'll get you an evidence bag, and you can put her coffee cup in it, seal it, and bring it back to the bunker for me. Then we'll take it to my DNA guy, and he can do the test. He owes me a favour, so we should be able to get him to do it while we wait. Then we'll know for sure." </p>
<p>Cas was delighted. That was a fantastic idea. Then everyone would know that he had been right all along, and that he wasn't here due to a foolish obsession. Then, he would be able to justify telling Bobby that he was going to move here to Los Angeles to be near her and devote himself full time to getting her back. But he was wondering one thing. "What are we going to compare her sample with, Sam?" he asked his friend. Cas knew that, like fingerprints, something was required to compare the sample to. "I don't have anything that we can use." Now, Cas could kick himself. When he'd moved their things out of the apartment, he had had all of her clothes cleaned. They were hanging in her room at the bunker now, just waiting for her return. He'd wanted things to be nice for her when she came back, but now he realized that there would be no stray hairs, or anything on her clothing that they could use as a comparison sample. He told Sam this now. </p>
<p>But Sam was grinning. "We have a living, breathing sample walking around in the bunker right now. We'll probably have to drag him away from Jody or from his car for a few seconds, but I'm sure he won't mind when we tell him the reason we're sticking a syringe in his arm." </p>
<p>Cas started to smile, and then he clapped Sam on the shoulder. Sam was a good friend. Cas only hoped that Frank didn't have an aversion to needles. </p>
<p>Cas winked Sam back to the bunker, and they raced to the weapons room. The brothers kept miscellaneous tools of the trade in a cabinet there, and Sam opened it now to retrieve an evidence bag to give to Cas. </p>
<p>They came back out to the library area. The bunker was quiet, and Sam was glad. He hadn't exactly filled Dean in on what he and Cas were doing today. They would have to let both him and Frank know, of course, when Cas got back with the sample. But right now, Sam didn't need the hassle. </p>
<p>"I'll be back in a while," Cas told Sam. Actually, he'd like to be back in quite a while, he thought warmly. But he had to remember to stay calm, and to go slow. Gail had finally agreed to have coffee with him, but he'd better not push her too much too soon, or she might be frightened off. He had to remember that he was a virtual stranger to her; in her mind, at least. </p>
<p>"Good luck," Sam said, and Cas winked out of the bunker, patting his pocket to make sure the evidence bag was safely hidden inside. </p>
<p>Cas winked himself around the corner of the theatre to avoid being seen by any passers-by, and then he walked to the front doors of the place. He could hear that the show was still going on, but it only aired for half an hour, so it would be over soon. Then she would be here, and he would get to spend some time with her. Finally, just the two of them. He was so excited. </p>
<p>Lucifer had peeked out of the curtain prior to showtime, and he had been surprised and pleased to see that the seat that Castiel had been occupying for the past few days was empty. </p>
<p>He grinned. Perhaps his Brother was angry that Gail had stood him up for their date. Castiel had a reputation for being petulant when things did not go his way. God's Golden Boy, walking around Heaven as if he were entitled to every blessing their Father had ever bestowed on him. Well, too bad for Castiel. Gail was Lucifer's now, and he wasn't going to give her back. Well, not for a while, anyway. By the time he was done with her and had discarded her, Castiel could pick her up from the scrap heap if he wanted. Let his Brother see how it felt to have to make do with someone else's reject, for a change. Lucifer had zero sympathy for him. They had foisted Metatron upon Lucifer for all that time, hadn't they? Talk about having to put up with rejects. Lucifer had paid his dues, and it was his turn to be on top now. </p>
<p>Speaking of which...the lovely Sarah was dutifully standing there, waiting to wish him a good show, as always. She hadn't mentioned Castiel today, but she did have a bit of a strange look on her face. She was probably disappointed that Lover Boy wasn't here today. Oh, well. Lucifer could help her get over it. She had finally confessed to him after yesterday's aborted show that Castiel had invited her for coffee, and that she had agreed to go. But when Gordon had needed her, she had stayed with him all day, into the evening. Talking to him, boosting his morale. She had even let him put his arm around her, and he had kissed her lightly on the lips when he had dropped her off at her apartment building, after they'd had dinner together. A part of him had wanted to push her, try to make her invite him upstairs, but he had suppressed the urge. She was coming along nicely; she had even blown Castiel off to be with him. And now, her boyfriend was conspicuously absent from the theatre. Things couldn't be going better. </p>
<p>Then it was time to go on. "Good show," Sarah wished him, and when he leaned down to kiss her on the cheek, she didn't turn her face away. He bounced onto the stage, full of nervous energy. Another day or two, and he would have her. </p>
<p>Sarah watched him from the wings. How was she going to get away for her coffee date with Cas? She had ended up telling Gordon last night that she had been planning to meet Cas after yesterday's show, and he had acted very strangely when she had told him that. Gordon had told her that he was thrilled that she had chosen him instead, and he had called Cas a loser who wasn't worth her time. If he really cared about her, Cas would have asked her for her number in Vegas, wouldn't he have? He had just used her for all the hot sex she had very willingly given him that weekend. Could Sarah be sure that wasn't all that he was after now? The guy was only in town for a short time and he was sniffing around her, trying to get into her pants again. And she could let him if she wanted, but then he would blow town and she would be left behind, feeling cheap and bad about herself. If Sarah wanted a relationship with a man, she couldn't just whore herself out to a guy who only showed up to see her naked every now and then. She should stick with a guy who was going to be there for her tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow. And then Gordon had smiled and kissed her hand, and the inference was clear. He wanted to be that guy. </p>
<p>But Sarah still wanted to have coffee with Cas. He confused her. She still didn't know exactly where Cas was coming from. It could be just what Gordon had said. God knew she had fallen into bed with Cas all too easily, and why shouldn't he think that she would just do the same thing now? She was single and lonely, and she was plain and ordinary. He was extremely handsome, with those dazzling blue eyes and a killer smile. And he must have some kind of high-powered job, if he could just hang around here, stay in fancy hotels, and pretty much just work whenever he felt like it. So what did he need her for? There must be lots of women out there who would love to spend time with him. She remembered how special he had made her feel in Las Vegas, when they had finally climbed out of bed and spent the day together. There was a lot more to him than just sex. He had been courtly and attentive to her, and goodness just seemed to radiate from him. She had noticed that here, too. When she had leaned across him to talk to his co-workers, she had felt a warmth coming from him, and it felt like all of that warmth was directed towards her. It had felt like love. </p>
<p>OK, that was crazy. But she had to have coffee with him, just the one time, at least. She wanted to find out more about him and find out if he even remembered their weekend in Las Vegas. Sarah still wasn't sure if he actually did. She was a little afraid of the answer, though. What if he didn't? She had initially been afraid that he was stalking her because of it, but she had soon realized that was ridiculous. But, what if he didn't even remember her at all? Wouldn't that be far worse? </p>
<p>What was she going to tell Gordon? Well, when in doubt, go with the oldest excuse in the book. </p>
<p>When he came offstage, Gordon took both of her hands in his. "I'm so glad you convinced me to come back, Sarah," he told her. "This is my calling. It's where I really belong." </p>
<p>But she was frowning. "I'm glad too, Gordon. But I need to ask you a favour, now." </p>
<p>"What is it, Sarah?" He was frowning now, too. What was the matter with her? Why was she frowning? </p>
<p>Sarah furrowed her brow. "I'm not feeling well, Gordon. Is it all right if I just go home? I'll be in bright and early tomorrow morning, I promise. I didn't get very much sleep last night." </p>
<p>"No? Why not?" he asked her suspiciously. Pining for Castiel, maybe? </p>
<p>"I was worried about you," Sarah said, disengaging herself from his hands and touching his arm lightly. </p>
<p>He was mollified. She had the look of sincerity in her eyes. And Castiel wasn't even here today. He supposed he could show her a little compassion, especially if she had lost sleep because she was worried about him. That thought made him feel all tingly, he thought with a smirk. </p>
<p>"OK, Sarah. Go home and get some rest," he told her. "I'll see you tomorrow morning." He gave her another kiss on the cheek and walked away. </p>
<p>Phew. Sarah waited a moment, then she walked through the empty theatre and exited through the front doors. Cas was there, of course, and his eyes lit up when he saw her. </p>
<p>"Hi," she said shyly. </p>
<p>"Hello," he said, smiling. </p>
<p>They walked to a nearby coffee shop. It was a bright, sunny day, and the weather matched Cas's mood. She was walking alongside him, turning her face up to catch the occasional errant breeze. The days were getting quite warm now, and she commented on that. </p>
<p>"It's kind of ironic that I live in L.A., seeing as I don't like the heat," Sarah said with a wry smile. </p>
<p>Cas's pulse quickened. Gail had always complained of the heat. As far as he was concerned, this DNA test that Sam wanted to perform was merely a formality. But if it would help to convince everyone else that Sarah was Gail, Cas was all for it. He didn't need it, though. He already knew. </p>
<p>They approached the coffee shop, and Sarah stopped short. There was a large German Shepherd on the sidewalk in front of the place, and it wasn't tied up on a leash. It bared its teeth when it saw them, and a low growl came from its throat. </p>
<p>Sarah was frozen in fear. She hated big dogs, and this one definitely didn't look friendly. She put her hand on Cas's arm. "Maybe we should just go somewhere else," she said nervously. </p>
<p>Gail had always been afraid of large dogs too, Cas thought. Not that he could blame her, in this instance. But nothing bad was going to happen to her ever again, not while he was with her. He walked forward and began to speak softly to the dog, and after a moment, it turned around and simply walked away. </p>
<p>Cas turned back to Sarah and extended his arm towards the door of the coffee shop. "Safe to proceed," he said to her. </p>
<p>Sarah was amazed. But somehow it figured, didn't it? Cas was the kind of guy who could probably charm the birds right out of the trees. Her lips twitched, and she shook her head slowly. </p>
<p>Cas opened the door for her and they walked in. "Please sit down," he said to her. "I'll get us some coffee." </p>
<p>She smiled. He'd been like that in Las Vegas, too. No sooner had she expressed a desire for something than he was jumping up and getting it for her. A woman could get spoiled being treated that way. He pulled out her chair for her when they got to a table, and then he went up to the counter. Wow. She'd better be careful here. Sarah reminded herself that he wasn't going to be around for too long. </p>
<p>Cas came back with their coffees and before she could reach for the cream, he had poured it into her cup and stirred it with the spoon. He'd done that in Vegas, too, once he had found out on that first night how she liked her coffee. It was such a sweet and quirky thing to do that it had endeared him to her. And here he was, doing it again. Damn, he was good. </p>
<p>Cas smiled at her. "How are you, Sarah?" he asked. </p>
<p>"I'm fine, Cas. How's your project going?" she countered. </p>
<p>He continued to smile. "Very well. But, it's ongoing," he said vaguely. He sat back in his chair. "I'd rather talk about you, Sarah. I'd like to learn more about you. What do you like to do in your spare time?" </p>
<p>She took a sip of her coffee, smiling wryly. "Nothing exciting. Mainly I just read, watch TV, and work. I'm not a very interesting person, Cas." </p>
<p>"I don't believe that's true," he said. "I think you're very interesting." </p>
<p>Sarah took another sip of coffee, giving him a half-shrug. She didn't know why he would say that. He was obviously just flattering her now. Being charming. </p>
<p>"Have you travelled anywhere?" he went on. Then he smiled again. "Well, besides Las Vegas, of course." </p>
<p>She raised an eyebrow. "So, you do remember," she remarked. </p>
<p>He was surprised. "Yes, of course I remember," he said. "How could I not?" </p>
<p>"Well, you were acting as if you didn't," she told him. "You actually introduced yourself to me that first day you were here. I thought maybe you were embarrassed to admit that you knew me in front of your co-workers." </p>
<p>Cas leaned forward, over the table. "Don't ever think that, please. I introduced myself because I didn't know if YOU remembered ME." </p>
<p>Sarah smiled at that thought. How the hell could he even think that? That had been the best weekend of her whole life. </p>
<p>"That was the best weekend of my life," Cas said. Sarah looked at him, shocked. Was he a mind reader, too, along with all of the other amazing qualities he seemed to have? He saw the look on her face, and he misunderstood. "It's true, I can assure you," he continued. </p>
<p>Sarah shook her head slowly. She couldn't believe this guy. Now she knew that he had to be nuts. "Cas, you don't have to say that," she said, laughing shortly. "I'm sure you've had lots of other weekends, with lots of other women. It's nice of you to say it, but I don't believe you." </p>
<p>He was staring at her. "No. No, I haven't. That was the only weekend like that I've ever had. And you're the only woman I've ever been with or have ever wanted to be with." </p>
<p>Sarah burst out laughing, and Cas looked at her, distressed. After a minute, she stopped. He looked stricken now. Was he serious? No, he couldn't be. She stared at him, open-mouthed. "Are you serious, Cas?" she asked him. He nodded. "I thought you were joking." </p>
<p>"No, I'm not joking," he replied. </p>
<p>Sarah thought about that. Then, something dawned on her. He'd been coming every day to see a preacher's TV show. "Are you religious, Cas?" She was thinking about a TV show she'd seen once where Amish people went on a holiday where they could experience any kind of sinning they wanted to indulge in for a few days, and then they would return to their regular lifestyles. Maybe this was something like that. What other explanation could there be? Just look at him. She said this to him. </p>
<p>Now it was Castiel's turn to laugh, and he laughed until tears sprang to his eyes. God, she was cute. She was cute even when she didn't know she was being cute. When his laughter died down, he said, "You're both very close, and very far away, at the same time." </p>
<p>Sarah had enjoyed seeing him laugh like that. She had the feeling that he didn't get a chance to do it all that often. Maybe his job was very stressful. "What do you do, Cas?" she asked him. </p>
<p>Cas had grabbed some napkins and was wiping his eyes with them now. He blessed Gail for the best laugh he'd had in ages. But he looked sidelong at her now. How could he answer her question? He thought a moment, and then said, "I work for a benevolent organization. We help people in need." </p>
<p>She was nodding. "I figured it was something like that," she said, pleased by his response. </p>
<p>"Why would you say that?" he asked, curious. </p>
<p>Sarah smiled at him. "Because you just seem...oh, I don't know. It's going to sound stupid." </p>
<p>"Nothing you say would ever be stupid," he said firmly. "Please, tell me." </p>
<p>Sarah sighed. "OK. You just strike me as someone who's really, really good at heart." </p>
<p>Cas felt warm all over. She may not know her name right now, but she loved him. He knew she did. She had to, if she could say something like that. </p>
<p>Then she surprised him yet again. "Cas, who's Gail?" she asked him. </p>
<p>He was startled. "What?" </p>
<p>"I'm just curious," Sarah said. "You called me 'Gail' in Las Vegas, at least twice. Who is she? Do I remind you of her?" </p>
<p>He was floored. Should he tell her? No, he'd better not. She wasn't ready; he would just scare her off. But he smiled warmly. "She's my person," he said. She was playing with the spoon he'd used to stir her coffee with now. Sarah had been nervous about his reaction to her question, but she really needed to know. He claimed that Sarah was the only woman he had ever been with, yet he had called her by another woman's name when they'd been in bed. He reached out and took her hand now. He just couldn't help himself. "She's my reason for existing," he continued. "She's my mate." Gail was looking at him, wide-eyed. Was she starting to remember? He squeezed her hand gently, then continued, "She thinks her name is Sarah, and she's sitting at this table with me right now." </p>
<p>Sarah stared at Cas. Oh, my God. He really was crazy. She jerked her hand away from his and put it in her lap. "Cas, I think it's wonderful that you love this woman so much, but she's not me, and I'm not her," she said uneasily. "Do I remind you of her? Did she maybe pass away, Cas?" she said sympathetically. </p>
<p>Damn. Now he had done it. She was looking at him as if he belonged in a mental institution. But he wasn't about to sit here and lie to her face. "But she IS you, Gail. Someone has done something to your memory. You are Gail, and you and I are in love. We've been together nearly three years now." </p>
<p>Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God. What was she going to do? Cas was delusional. At least they were out in public. Maybe she could try to reason with him. "That's impossible, Cas. You must have me confused with her. I've been living here in L.A. and working for Reverend Devlin for almost two years now." </p>
<p>"No, Gail. That's a false memory," he insisted. As long as it was out now anyway, he had to try to convince her of the truth now. Perhaps if he gave her some details about her life, she would begin to remember. "Sam and Dean are our friends, and Frank is your brother, and we all miss you, so much. Please, come back home with me. It doesn't matter if you don't remember right now. We can help you to remember. Please, Gail. You don't belong here. You belong back in the bunker, with us." </p>
<p>"The bunker?" she asked, and she was giving him a strange look now. The only "bunker" Sarah had ever heard about was the place that Hitler had retreated to at the end of the Second World War. The place where he and Eva Braun had apparently committed suicide together. Now she was really scared. Should she just bolt out of here? But what would he do if he caught up to her? Many truly crazy people didn't care how many witnesses might be around. </p>
<p>Cas misunderstood her expression. He still thought her confusion was due to her mind's efforts to regain her memories. "Yes, the bunker," he repeated excitedly. "Do you remember the bunker, Gail?" </p>
<p>He thought they'd been together for three years. He was telling her that his co-workers were their friends, and that one of them was her brother. Maybe Cas WAS a mind reader. Sarah had had a very vivid dream last night. It had been extremely fragmented, but she was picturing images from it now. She and Sam and Dean, sitting around a table somewhere, laughing. Had Cas been there, too? She couldn't remember. Then his other co-worker, Frank, the one who Cas was saying was her brother, was tucking her into bed, pulling the covers up to her neck. That had been weird. There was nothing dirty about it, though; if her dream had gone that way, she would definitely have pictured a different scenario, and a different guy. It would definitely have involved Cas, or Dean, maybe. But not Frank; he had seemed nice, but Sarah had not been attracted to him at all when she'd met him. It had all been very innocent, like Frank was her father, or something. But Sarah didn't even remember her parents. Strange, really. Who didn't remember their parents? The dream had continued, and she and Cas's boss had been standing at the side of a road, talking. What had they been talking about? She had no clue. And then, finally, Cas had made his appearance in her dreams. They were lying in bed together. Here came the sexy part, at last. They were laying there, fully clothed, watching TV. She was lying between his legs, with her back to him. He had his arms around her, and he was kissing her. Soft, little kisses, on her forehead, and her cheek. He was so sweet, and so loving. And now, he was going to sneak his hands under her clothes and start to caress her skin. He would touch her breasts, teasing her nipples, and then he would slide one of his hands down into her pants and begin to stroke her there. She would try to turn herself around to kiss him, but he would hold her right there, whispering in her ear to stay still. He would lick her ear delicately, and she would open her legs wider, enjoying the sensation of his fingers touching her. Then he would slip them inside her, and then he would stroke her again. He would tell her he loved her and ask her if that felt good. His lips would brush her ear as he spoke softly to her, and she would feel him underneath her. He was in an excited state, and he was moving slowly against her. But he would keep on stroking her, until she began to cry out. Then, only when she became still, would he help her turn herself around so that she could kiss him on the mouth, and he would undo his pants so that she could position herself on top of him. He would pull her top off over her head and caress her body as they both moved together, and then he would pull her down by the hips, groaning softly. Then he would put his arms around her waist and she would lean down to kiss him. He would give her his tongue, and when she gave him hers, he would cry out. </p>
<p>But that was only the fantasy that she had manufactured in her head once she'd woken up. Sarah had lain in bed for a while afterwards, picturing all of that. She felt very excited thinking about it, but she also felt sad. That would likely never happen to her again, at least not with Cas. She'd better not let it happen again, anyway. Gordon had been right; she would feel like the world's biggest slut if she fell into bed with him while he was here in town. He would leave as soon as his project, whatever it was, was over, and who knew when she would see him again after that, if ever? </p>
<p>And now, he was talking so strangely. He wanted her to be this "Gail" he was talking about, and he still wouldn't tell her who the woman was, or why she was so important to him. He was crazy. He was sweet. He was dangerous. He was loving. Her mind seesawed back and forth. </p>
<p>"You have to remember, Gail," he insisted. "Please." </p>
<p>Sarah couldn't take it anymore. This was too weird for her. She was an ordinary woman with an ordinary life, and she couldn't deal with this guy. He may be a good guy at heart, but he was too crazy for her. </p>
<p>She stood from the table. "I have to go," Sarah said to him. "Whatever you're looking for, I hope you find, Cas. But, it's not me. Please, leave me alone." </p>
<p>She ran out of the coffee shop, but he ran after her, just as she had feared he might. He grabbed her arm, and his grip was strong. </p>
<p>"Please don't run away from me again, Gail," he pleaded. "Please." </p>
<p>"If you don't let go of me, I'm calling the cops," she told him. </p>
<p>Cas's grip tightened for a moment. He was desperate now. If he let her go, she would never remember who she was. "Please come home with me, Gail. Please," he said. </p>
<p>"Cas, you're hurting me," she said, looking down at his hand, and where it was holding her arm. Cas looked down and saw that his fingers were digging into her skin, and his hand flew off her arm. </p>
<p>"I'm sorry, Gail. I didn't mean to hurt you," Cas told her. "I just need you. Please." </p>
<p>But Sarah was very scared now, and she was angry, too. She'd thought that Cas was a good guy, but he was crazy, and now he had hurt her. She had to get the hell away from him. "Well, I don't need you," she said bluntly. "Don't bother me again." She turned away from him. She saw a taxi coming down the street towards them. She stepped off the curb and hailed it, and the driver pulled up. She got in the back and said, "Let's go. And please, hurry. That guy is crazy, and I need to get away from him, now." </p>
<p>The driver glanced out the side window. Cas was standing on the sidewalk, a look of chagrin on his face. The cab driver had seen the man with his hand on this woman's arm. His sister was single, and she'd gone out with a few guys who'd acted the same way towards her. The kind of guy who took a woman out for coffee, or for lunch, and then assumed that she owed him something, just because he had paid the cheque. This guy had that look about him. Like he thought this woman belonged to him, or something. </p>
<p>He stepped on the gas, and the car sped away. </p>
<p>Cas watched the cab speed off helplessly. He hadn't even found out where she was living now. He let out a frustrated breath, then went back into the coffee shop and sat at their table. He banged his fist on the table, making the couple seated next to him jump. </p>
<p>But Cas was oblivious. He was angry with himself. Dean had told him to stay calm, but he hadn't done that. He had opened up his big mouth and told her the truth, and she hadn't been ready to hear it. It was a good thing he hadn't told her they were Angels, too, or the handcuffs would be on his wrists right now. He put his head in his hands. He had pushed her, and now she was afraid of him. What was he going to do now? She would never agree to see him alone, ever again. </p>
<p>He looked across the table at her empty cup. Cas supposed he really did need to take it, now. No one seemed to believe that Sarah was Gail but him. If they did the DNA test, they would all see that it was her. Then they could all brainstorm about what to do to get her back. He didn't want to upset Gail or traumatize her any further, but Cas was starting to think he should just take her by the hand and wink her back to the bunker, anyway. They all needed her back. Who was he kidding? HE needed her back. She had been away from him for over two-thirds of a year now, and if the abbreviated weekend with her had been the best time of his existence, this time had been the worst. Shakespeare had it wrong. It was NOT better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. It was only when you loved someone and then had them cruelly taken away from you that you realized how empty and meaningless your life was without them. </p>
<p>He picked up a butter knife from the place setting with one hand, and took the evidence bag out of his pocket with the other. He lifted her cup by the handle with the knife, not touching it with his fingers, just as he'd seen the detectives do on the cop shows he'd watched at night when he and Gail had been cuddling. Cas loved cop shows; he liked to guess along with the other viewers as to who the "perp" was, and many times, he had been right. Even though those shows were make-believe, guilty people frequently had a certain look about them. You couldn't always tell, though; some people were very good at masking their true feelings. Cas ought to know. He'd done it in Heaven for centuries. </p>
<p>Cas put the cup in the evidence bag and sealed the bag, stashing it in his pocket. Then he left the coffee shop. </p>
<p>"We need to talk to you, Frank," Sam said. He and Cas walked into the kitchen. Frank, Jody and Dean had just finished lunch, and they were all sitting at the table. Frank looked up. "What about?" he said. </p>
<p>Sam and Cas exchanged glances, and Sam took a breath, then let it out. "Cas took me to L.A. this morning." </p>
<p>Dean sat back in his chair. "Not this again, Cas," he said, exasperated with his friend. "You've gotta let it go. You can't keep obsessing like this." </p>
<p>"I met her, and I talked to her for a few minutes," Sam told them. </p>
<p>"What did you think?" Frank asked Sam, curious. </p>
<p>Sam frowned. "I'm with you, Frank. I couldn't really tell. But we've got the solution. Cas was able to get a sample of her DNA, and we're gonna take it to my guy for analysis." </p>
<p>Dean smirked briefly. "How'd you get her DNA, Cas?" he asked his friend. </p>
<p>Cas looked at him, then did a double-take. He made a face. "I took her for coffee, Dean." He took the bag with the cup out of his pocket and showed it to them, then put it back in his pocket. And there it would remain, until the test was done. It was very precious to him, and he also knew about chain of custody from watching those cop shows. He'd figured out what Dean had been teasing him about, though. Cas only wished he had gotten Gail's DNA that way. He truly did. Now that they'd had their romantic Las Vegas weekend, Cas felt like he wanted to make love to her all the time. Well, maybe not ALL of the time. But even if they weren't making love, he just wanted to hold her, and kiss her, and be able to touch her soft skin. When they had talked about Las Vegas earlier, she had been looking at him like she wanted to do those things, too. Cas was sure he could get through to her, if he was given the opportunity and the time to do so. He was eager to get this test done so that they could go and get her. Maybe Bobby could talk to her. He had extra powers; maybe the hand of God could help her to remember. </p>
<p>Frank stood from the table, and he walked up to Sam, extending his hand for Sam to shake. "Thanks, Sam. That's a great idea," he said, as they shook. "Only you could have thought of that. Now we'll know for sure." He turned to Cas. "I hope you're right, Cas. I really do. I miss her so much." He extended his hand to Cas for a shake, but Cas moved forward and put his arms around Gail's brother, hugging him. Frank was surprised. Cas was generally kind of awkward when it came to those kinds of things. But lately, he had been wearing his heart out on his sleeve, for all of them to see. Gail's prolonged absence had been very hard on him, Frank knew. If Frank had ever had any doubts about the depth of Cas's feelings for his sister, they were gone now. </p>
<p>Then he looked at Sam again. "So, what, do you have some hairs of hers to take with you, or something?" </p>
<p>Sam looked at Frank strangely. When Gail's brother had gotten up from the table, Sam thought that Frank had gotten it. "No, Frank. We're gonna get the comparison sample from you. Roll up your sleeve. I'll be right back." He left to go to the weapons room to get the syringe. </p>
<p>Dean and Jody smiled at each other. "My little brother, ladies and gentlemen," Dean said proudly. "Don't anybody ever tell him I said this, but I always knew he was the smartest one." </p>
<p>But Frank was frowning. Cas looked at him, perplexed. Maybe Cas's thoughts had been right. Maybe Frank had an aversion to needles. Well, that would be unfortunate, but it had to be done. Cas would hold Frank's hand if he needed him to or give him something to bite down on. Whatever it took. </p>
<p>Sam came back with the syringe, and Frank sighed and sat down, rolling up his sleeve as Sam tied off his arm. Sam withdrew three tubes of blood just to be on the safe side and Frank bore it fairly stoically, though he continued to frown throughout the whole process. </p>
<p>Sam gave Frank a cotton ball to put on the injection site, and he pressed a bandage on top of it as Frank held it there. "Want a lollipop, Frank?" Dean teased him, and Frank glared at him, but said nothing. </p>
<p>Frank looked pale, Jody noted with amusement. Who would have thought that a big, tough Hunter like him would be so afraid of needles? But she was also happy that they were doing this. Then they'd all have closure, one way or the other. </p>
<p>"Will this test tell us for sure, Jody?" Frank asked her, and Jody nodded. "DNA evidence is pretty conclusive," she said. "I'm sure Sam can tell you the stats but suffice it to say that we've been able to convict quite a few people on DNA evidence." </p>
<p>"It's foolproof," Sam assured them. "Depending on the sample, the odds are usually so overwhelming that there can be no doubt. If my guy can match the strands of this woman's DNA with Frank's, we'll know beyond a doubt that it's Gail." </p>
<p>He pocketed the tubes of Frank's blood and smiled. "Who wants to go for a drive?" </p>
<p>Cas stood in the waiting room outside the laboratory. He was pacing back and forth nervously. He was sure what the results were going to be, but he was impatient for them to be delivered so that they could formulate a plan. </p>
<p>"Sit down, Cas. You're making me dizzy," Jody teased. He looked at her, then sat down immediately. He wondered how they should go about getting her. Should it be just him, going there to bring her back to the bunker? Or should he bring someone with him? She had seemed to like Dean. Of all of them, Dean had seemed to put her the most at ease. So when the scientist told Dean beyond any doubt that she was Gail, Cas would ask Dean to accompany him. His friend could keep him calm. But he was not coming back without her. </p>
<p>Frank sat quietly, staring at the wall. Jody was holding his hand. She could only imagine how he was feeling right now. He tended to get very quiet when he was tense. She gave his hand a squeeze, and he gave her a tight smile. </p>
<p>Cas jumped to his feet and began to pace again. Dean opened his mouth to bark at his friend, but Sam put his hand on his brother's arm. </p>
<p>"Let it go, Dean," he said softly. Dean let it go. </p>
<p>Sarah's phone rang, and she looked at it for a minute. Should she answer it? But Cas didn't have her phone number, nor did he know where she lived. Thank God she hadn't given him that information. </p>
<p>Still, when she picked up the phone, she didn't speak right away. </p>
<p>"Sarah?" Gordon said. "Are you there?" </p>
<p>She let out a sigh of relief. "Yeah, I'm here. Sorry, Gordon." </p>
<p>"How are you feeling?" he asked. </p>
<p>She was confused for a moment, and then she remembered. She was supposed to be feeling unwell. Actually, that wasn't even a lie any more. She had been just sitting here on the couch ever since she had gotten home, staring blankly at the TV, feeling sick about what had happened with Cas. And now she felt guilty, too. She had basically deserted Gordon, a man who she had known for a couple of years now and had been nothing but nice to her, to go on a date with a crazy guy who she barely knew, and she had lied about it. </p>
<p>Sarah sighed again. "Can I tell you something, if you promise not to be mad?" she asked him. </p>
<p>"You can tell me anything, Sarah," he replied. "What is it?" </p>
<p>"I lied to you, Gordon. I actually went to meet Cas for coffee after the show. I'm sorry, I just thought you wouldn't..." What did she want to say? Approve? Let her? </p>
<p>Lucifer's eyes flashed. Why that little...Angels weren't supposed to lie, were they? Or did she still have a little bit of Demon left in her? Or had Castiel just mesmerized her somehow? Lucifer knew that there was no way that she could recover her memory all on her own. He had put a little extra oomph into his modification of her when he had sent them out of the bunker that day. But she was a female, and as much as Lucifer hated to admit it, Castiel's vessel was good-looking. And his Brother could be very charming when he felt like he needed to be. So, he guessed he couldn't really blame her. Still, he wanted to send her a message. </p>
<p>"I'm disappointed in you, Sarah," he said sternly. "I thought we talked about that guy. He's no good for you. And I'm hurt that you lied to me about it." </p>
<p>Sarah was distressed now. "I know, Gordon, and I'm really, really sorry. And I promise you, it won't happen again. I'm not going to see him anymore." </p>
<p>Lucifer smiled now. Interesting. "Really?" he said. "And why is that, Sarah?" </p>
<p>"Because he's crazy," she replied. "He was trying to tell me that I was somebody else, and that he and I have been having a relationship for three years! I tried to tell him that he had me mixed up with somebody else, but he kept insisting that I was this 'Gail' person. So I left the coffee shop, and then he followed me, and he grabbed me. I told him to leave me alone, and then I got in a cab and came home." </p>
<p>Lucifer was grinning now. This was too good. Castiel had gone off the deep end. He still had no idea how his Brother had managed to find her, but he supposed it didn't really matter. Castiel obviously had no idea who Reverend Devlin really was, or he would have come after him by now, with metaphorical guns blazing. Cas just wanted his little girlfriend back. Well, that was too bad, wasn't it? It was high time that Castiel learned that he couldn't have everything he wanted, just because he wanted it. Lucifer had been aware of that hard fact ever since Creation. </p>
<p>"Good," he said to Sarah now. "I'm glad you had the good sense to get away from him before he really hurt you. He sounds dangerous, Sarah. I don't care how good he is in the sack; you'd better stay away from him. There are other guys who can fill your needs in that department. We'll have to have a talk about that." </p>
<p>Sarah could hear the smile in his voice. She rolled her eyes, but she was smiling, too. Then her smile faded. "What if he comes back to the theatre?" she asked Gordon. </p>
<p>"I'll tell you what," he said to her. "I'll post extra security at all the entrances. If he shows up, we'll have him arrested. And if I see him, I'll deal with him myself. Don't worry, Sarah. I'll keep you safe." </p>
<p>She was relieved. "Thanks, Gordon. Thanks very much. I appreciate you looking out for me," she told him. "Now, I'll sleep better tonight." </p>
<p>Lucifer told her to rest well and hung up the phone. Then he called Mark in. He told Mark to gather some of the Demon supplicants and arm them all with Angel blades. If Castiel showed up tomorrow, he would get a very unpleasant surprise. </p>
<p>The door to the waiting room opened, and Sam's friend came out with the lab report in his hand. </p>
<p>"Hey Sam, I've got your results here," he said. </p>
<p>Cas and his human friends gathered around the man, waiting expectantly. </p>
<p>"No match," the technician said. </p>
<p>Cas was stunned. "What did you say?" he asked Sam's friend. </p>
<p>He looked at Cas. "I said, the samples don't match. These two individuals aren't related." </p>
<p>"That's wrong," Cas insisted angrily. "You're wrong." </p>
<p>"DNA doesn't lie," the man told him. "I can guarantee you the results are accurate. The strands are completely dissimilar. There's no familial connection between these two people." </p>
<p>Cas looked at Frank, open-mouthed. Frank was just standing there, unmoving and expressionless. </p>
<p>Cas charged Frank, grabbing him by the shirt front and shoving him up against the wall. "Who are you?" he snarled. "Lucifer? Metatron? Who?" He drew the blade from his jacket and pointed it at Frank's throat. </p>
<p>Sam and Dean grabbed Cas's arms and pulled him away from Gail's brother. "Cas! Stand down!" Dean yelled at his friend. </p>
<p>Cas whirled on Dean, shaking off the brothers' grip on him. "He's clearly an impostor, Dean! That isn't Gail's brother!" </p>
<p>"No, Cas," Sam said quietly. "It isn't Gail." </p>
<p>Cas looked at Sam. "No, Sam. That's wrong. You're wrong. It is her." He pointed to Frank. "He's clearly an impostor." </p>
<p>Frank was annoyed. "No, I'm not, Cas. I've been there at the bunker with you guys this whole time. It's me, Cas. Frank." </p>
<p>Cas stared at him for a moment, and then he rushed out of the waiting room. He moved into the stairwell, then vanished from the building.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Since I Lost You</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Castiel went to Gail's park bench, by their old apartment. He needed to sit quietly and think. Was it possible? Had he deluded himself into thinking that Sarah was Gail because he wanted Gail back so badly? </p>
<p>He pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and looked at her picture on the screen, doing his umpteenth mental comparison. He closed his eyes and pictured Sarah as she had looked this afternoon at the coffee shop. Aside from the hair and eye colour, he could see no difference. She had the same facial characteristics, the same figure, and the same smile. Her demeanour had been a little different, but that was just because she didn't know who she truly was. He looked at his cell phone again. Then he put it down on the bench next to him, as he usually did. Then he slipped off the bench, sinking to his knees. He bowed his head and closed his eyes. </p>
<p>"Father, please. I need Your help," he prayed. "Is she Gail? Or am I wrong? Please, I need to know. Everyone says it's not her. The DNA test says it's not her. But I was so sure. Please, Father. I know you're not too crazy about answering prayers, but I beg you. I need a sign. Can you send me something? Anything that will let me know whether or not I should just give up on Sarah? Please?" </p>
<p>Then Castiel heard a voice in his head: "Find comfort in these words: In your greatest time of need, know that I have not left you." </p>
<p>Castiel was excited. That was God, talking to him. But what had his Father meant by what He'd said? He shut his eyes tighter and concentrated, but that was it. There was nothing further. He smiled wryly, supposing that he was lucky to have gotten that much. But, what did it mean? Should he give up, or not? </p>
<p>He felt a tickle at his hand, and he opened his eyes and looked down. It was a little chipmunk, sniffing at his hand. Likely looking to see if he had any food, Cas thought. He smiled down at the tiny animal. </p>
<p>"I'm sorry, I don't have any food for you, little one," Cas said softly. The chipmunk looked up at him quizzically, as if it understood what he had said. It might have, at that; Castiel had long had the ability to talk to animals and calm them. That was why he had been so confident that the growling dog in front of the coffee shop would not harm them. He had talked to it and told it that Gail was afraid of large dogs, and to please leave them in peace. And it had. But he had not referred to her as Sarah. She wasn't Sarah to him, and she never would be. </p>
<p>Cas put his palm out, and the chipmunk sniffed at his hand again, then climbed onto his palm. Cas lifted his hand to eye level. The animal was looking right at him, as if waiting for him to speak again. So he did. </p>
<p>"What do you think?" Cas asked the chipmunk. "Is Sarah Gail? Am I right, or am I crazy?" His lips twitched, despite the anguish that he was feeling inside. Dean would say he was crazy. Of course he was; he was talking to an animal. But the chipmunk had come along right after his Father had spoken to him. Surely that couldn't be a coincidence. </p>
<p>The chipmunk quivered, and its eyes blinked. Then it appeared to nod its head, and then shake it from side to side. </p>
<p>Cas was bemused. "Which is it?" he asked the chipmunk. Hey, if he was going to be crazy, he might as well commit. </p>
<p>The chipmunk's nose twitched, and its bright little eyes continued to stare into his. Brown eyes, just like Gail's. Or, the colour that they should be, anyway. Then the animal nodded one more time, then it shook its head again. </p>
<p>Well, that was a big help, wasn't it? But then it dawned on Cas that he had actually asked it two separate questions; technically, three. He had first asked if Sarah was Gail, and if he was right. But then, he had asked it if he was crazy. The chipmunk was seeming to indicate Yes, then No. </p>
<p>"Is Sarah Gail?" he asked it softly. The chipmunk gave him a nod. </p>
<p>A thrill of excitement went through Cas. "Am I crazy?" he asked the animal, and it shook its head. </p>
<p>Cas brought the chipmunk to his face and kissed it gently on the nose. "Thank you," he said. Then he released it onto the grass in front of the bench, and it scampered off into the bushes. </p>
<p>Cas began to smile. That had been one of the weirdest signs he had ever received from his Father, but he would definitely take it. When he brought Gail back home, they would have to come here with a bushel full of nuts to give to that little one, and all his chipmunk friends. </p>
<p>He had to go back to Los Angeles, and stay there, until he could figure out a way to bring her back. </p>
<p>Cas was back at the theatre the next day. He had gone directly to Los Angeles from the park. He'd known that his friends would try to talk him out of going there if he went back to the bunker. He was mystified as to why the DNA test showed that there was no match, though. Had Sam's friend made an error? Castiel's human friends had assured him that the results were unequivocal. And he knew that Frank was not an impostor; he had just reacted emotionally to the news. But it was a mystery. </p>
<p>But that didn't matter to him right now. God had sent him the message. </p>
<p>He looked at the theatre doors, deliberating. She was afraid of him now, and after the way he had behaved yesterday, he couldn't really blame her. He had pushed her, and he had seized her, hurting her arm. Gail thought he was crazy, and she had threatened to call the police. </p>
<p>He had better not show his face to her, then. But he needed to see her, at least. Until he figured out what to do, Cas needed to stay close to her. </p>
<p>When people started to arrive for the show, Cas walked around to the side of the building, where he couldn't be seen. Then, about ten minutes before the show was due to start, Cas winked himself into the theatre. </p>
<p>He stood well back of the stage, in the aisle by the side wall. Cas felt fairly certain she wouldn't see him standing here. The area was shadowy, and people were still milling around talking, taking their seats. No one was looking at him or had noticed him arrive. He looked towards the stage. Sarah was there, as usual. She was moving across the front row, greeting people and handing out pamphlets. Then, when she got to the place where Cas had been sitting for the past few days, she stopped for a minute. Her eyes rose, and they seemed to be searching for him in the surrounding seats. Then she began to move down the front row again, and then the lights started to go down, and she moved off backstage. </p>
<p>Cas smiled. She had been looking for him, and she had looked disappointed when she'd seen that he wasn't there. But still, he had to be careful. She was skittish, and she had to be handled with care. He could do that. </p>
<p>He winked out of the theatre. </p>
<p>Sarah looked at the seat she had grown used to seeing Cas in. But he wasn't in it. She looked around, but she didn't see him anywhere. </p>
<p>She felt a strange mixture of relief and disappointment. Maybe he had finally gotten the message. Or maybe security had turfed him out. In any event, it was for the best. Then why did she also feel so disappointed? She had to admit, it had been flattering to have him showing up every day, asking her when he could see her. He had made her feel desirable, and she had been waking up in the morning feeling excited at the possibility that she might see him there. But now he was gone, and she had chased him off. He was crazy, though. She had to remember that. Yes, it was for the best. She would just have to keep telling herself that. </p>
<p>Lucifer had peeked out of the curtain before the show, and he had been gratified to see that Castiel was not there. Gail had pushed him away, and he'd obviously been smart enough not to show up here today. Unless one of the Demon guards had taken care of him. Lucifer doubted that, though. His Brother had been able to survive all those aeons for a reason. The Castiel that Lucifer knew would likely have just killed all of the Demons and then marched through the front doors, daring anyone to stop him. No, there was no way that Castiel had given up. He was probably just hiding somewhere, thinking of a Plan B. </p>
<p>It looked like the direct approach to taking care of Castiel was out, then. Gail had assured "the Reverend" that she was done with Cas, anyway. He was crazy, she had said, and she was worried that he could be dangerous. Lucifer knew that she had been attracted to Castiel; maybe it was simply because he was an attractive guy, on the surface. They had had a hot couple of nights in Vegas, and Gail had probably been hoping for a reprise. When Lucifer had created the Sarah persona for Gail, he had made sure that she would have a healthy appetite for sex, and he had removed some of her natural shyness. So she had thoroughly enjoyed her romp with Castiel, but now, she was living like a nun. Lucifer thought that would make her more receptive to his own advances, once he had her softened up a bit. But now Castiel had shown up out of the blue, and as much as Lucifer hated to admit it, he couldn't stack up to his Brother in that particular department. Castiel's time as a Demon had made him more confident and aggressive in bed now, and a lot more skilled, and Lucifer was a virgin. All that the Devil would have going for him was eagerness, if not forcefulness. But he had no idea how to please a woman, and quite frankly, he was too selfish to really care, not as long as he got what he wanted. But that wouldn't be good enough for Princess Gail, not with the way that Castiel was with her. So Lucifer had better step up to the plate, and use the fact that Castiel wasn't around to his advantage. He turned to Sarah now. </p>
<p>"Let's go out for lunch after the show," he said to her. "I'll take you someplace nice." </p>
<p>She smiled. "OK. You're on. But can you come to my office after the show, I wonder? I'm a little behind on the mail, so I thought I'd go back there to work on it during the show." </p>
<p>He regarded her for a moment. She wasn't going to try to sneak off again, was she? But Castiel wasn't in the theatre, and Sarah didn't know she was an Angel, so she couldn't be popping out to meet him anywhere. He guessed it was safe enough. But, just to be on the safe side, he called Aurielle over. </p>
<p>"Allison will help you get caught up with the mail," he told Sarah. </p>
<p>Aurielle looked at him. "Why would I do that?" she said, surprised. </p>
<p>Lucifer frowned. "Because I'm the boss, and I said so," he replied testily. </p>
<p>Aurielle glared at him momentarily, but she accompanied Sarah to her office. Sarah had thought it was a little curious, too. Gordon's sister didn't seem to do much of anything around here, usually. She just hung around backstage and in the office, and sometimes Gordon would bring her onstage to talk about the ongoing medical consultations she was having to try to fix her face. But aside from that, as far as Sarah could see, Allison was just a hanger-on, glomming on to her brother's status as a celebrity. </p>
<p>And she definitely did not like Sarah. Sarah didn't care what Gordon said in that regard; she knew his sister couldn't stand her. Every time Gordon wasn't looking, Allison would be glaring at Sarah. Maybe she didn't think Sarah was good enough for her Reverend brother. Well, that was too bad. Sarah would be the one to make up her own mind about that. </p>
<p>Aurielle sat in Gail's office across from her, helping her sort the mail into piles. It was so hard for her to just sit here and look at Gail, and not launch herself across the desk and plunge the letter opener she was holding right into her chest. But Aurielle knew that Lucifer wouldn't stand for it. He had warned Aurielle repeatedly to leave Gail alone, and he had meant it. When Gail had first arrived, Aurielle had threatened to kill her. She'd been speaking to Mark, but Lucifer had overheard her, and he had lashed out, using his powers to inflict painful wounds on Aurielle's arms and legs. "Keep talking like that, and you'll get more," Lucifer had barked at her. "I told you, you need to leave her alone." Then he had turned on his heel and left the office, leaving her bleeding and in excruciating pain. She had had to beg Mark to heal her. </p>
<p>So Aurielle made no move to harm Gail now, and they worked in silence. </p>
<p>When Gordon left the stage, he hurried to his office. He went to the locked cabinet behind his desk and got out the vial of liquid that Mark had procured for him. He slipped it into the inside pocket of his jacket, then walked to Sarah's office. </p>
<p>"There are my little worker bees," Lucifer said happily. "How's it going, Allison?" </p>
<p>She was frowning at him. She threw the letters she'd been sorting down on Sarah's desk and stalked out of the office. </p>
<p>Lucifer was amused. A tiny part of him had wondered if Aurielle might not try to hurt Gail, in spite of his warning. She had been foaming at the mouth ever since Lucifer had brought her rival here. But he'd shown her what she could look forward to if she ignored his command, and so far, Aurielle was toeing the line. </p>
<p>Sarah looked at Gordon. "I don't care what you say, she definitely doesn't like me," she said to him. </p>
<p>"Well, it doesn't matter, because I do," Gordon replied. "She may be my sister, but she doesn't run my life." He extended his hand to her. "Come on, let's go." </p>
<p>Cas was standing outside the theatre now, and he was wondering how he was going to keep an eye on Gail when he didn't know what her routine was. How long did she usually stay in there? And where did she generally go afterwards? </p>
<p>He was still standing out front of the theatre, but he had hidden behind a tree across the street, just in case he was seen by someone he didn't want to see him. The audience began to stream out of the theatre, and Cas was thinking furiously now. Would she come out this way, as she had done when they had gone for coffee? </p>
<p>He was casually studying the faces of the people coming out of the theatre, and his eyes keyed in on a man who looked strange to him. He was an older man who was carrying a briefcase, and when he emerged from the theatre he looked around quickly, then stamped his foot on the sidewalk. He looked angry. Cas guessed he hadn't enjoyed the show very much. But there was just something about the man that made Cas keep watching him. He looked nervous, edgy. If this man had been on one of Cas's cop shows, he would definitely have played a "perp". </p>
<p>But then the man walked away from the theatre, and Cas began to think again about how to find out where Gail was going to go after the show. The crowd had more or less dispersed by now. Now, Cas was thinking that she probably wouldn't just walk out the front doors. There was likely a back exit that the people who worked on the show would use. He looked around but he didn't see anyone who might be watching, so he popped himself over to the back of the theatre. There were two security guards posted at the door there, but Cas ducked behind a limousine that was parked there. It must be the Reverend's car, he thought. Would Gail come out here with him, maybe? </p>
<p>Cas waited a bit, and then he had his answer. Gail came out of the back door of the theatre, and she was with Reverend Devlin. They were laughing and talking, and he was holding her hand! Cas's own hands curled into fists. It was taking everything he had not to just run over there, draw his blade, and chop the man's arm off, so he would let go of her hand. But if he did that, he would frighten her off of him for good, and he had already traumatized her. </p>
<p>Gordon started to steer Sarah towards the car, but she shook her head. "It's such a nice day. Can't we just walk?" she asked him. </p>
<p>He shrugged. "Sure, Sarah, if that's what you want." </p>
<p>Cas breathed a quiet sigh of relief. He was hiding behind the limo, and if they had taken it to get wherever they were going, he would have had no way of knowing where that was. But now that they had decided to walk, it would be easy to follow them. </p>
<p>Oliver was sitting on a bench a block away from the theatre, waiting for the bus. He had his briefcase on his lap, and his fingers were drumming nervously on top of it. He had no idea how he was going to find out where the Reverend went after the show. If he couldn't shoot the man during the show, and apparently, he couldn't, he needed to pick another location. But he had no idea where, or even how he would find out where he would be at any given time. Oliver had asked around at the theatre, but none of the other audience members he had talked to seemed to know much of anything about the Reverend's personal life. He had tried to ask one of the security guards at the theatre today, but Oliver had gotten such a bad vibe from the man that he'd had to back away. If Oliver had had any doubts before that Reverend Devlin was evil, he no longer did. It wasn't every televangelist that had Demons working on their security staff. </p>
<p>Oliver was frustrated, and he was also very, very scared. His fellow audience members had seemed to be under some kind of hypnotic spell cast on them by "the Rev", as they all affectionately referred to him. The man preached that Armageddon was inevitable, and that it was only the ones who wanted to the most that were going to survive it. What exactly did that mean? The Rev wasn't saying, and none of his flock seemed to care. But that sounded ominous to Oliver. He was sure that Jim Jones's followers hadn't asked too many questions, either. Well, not for very long, anyway. </p>
<p>He said a quick prayer in his head, asking for some kind of a sign. If God wanted Devlin gone, He was going to have to give Oliver some guidance, here. Otherwise, he was just spinning his wheels. </p>
<p>Oliver's prayer was answered just a few minutes later. Unbelievably, Reverend Devlin walked right by him on the street, accompanied by a short, blonde woman. Oliver didn't get a good look at the woman's face, as she was walking on the far side, but Oliver wasn't really looking at her, anyway. He waited until they got a little further down the street, and then he jumped up from the bench and began to follow them. </p>
<p>Cas was following Devlin and Gail too, and he saw them arrive at a restaurant. Lucifer had probably extended her ability to eat and drink when he had modified her memory, and now this man was taking her out to eat lunch. The Reverend was her boss; it could just be a business lunch. But he had been holding her hand when they had come out of the theatre, and even though the two were not hand-in-hand now, that sight had worried Cas greatly. Did this man have designs on Gail? </p>
<p>Oliver saw the couple enter the restaurant, too, but he did not see Cas, who was hidden from view. And Cas did not see Oliver, but even if he had, he would only have recognized him as the agitated man from outside the theatre a few minutes ago. But Cas was focused on Gail and her boss now, and their body language. </p>
<p>Oliver thought furiously. They were obviously going in there to have lunch. How much time did he have? </p>
<p>But this might be his only opportunity. He had to try. Oliver looked around. There was a low-rise apartment building across the street from the restaurant. Perfect. He hailed a cab that was coming down the street and asked the driver to take him back to the motel. </p>
<p>Gordon sat back in his chair, smiling. Sarah had just come back from the washroom. He hadn't added the urge to urinate when he had modified her, but she said she wanted to wash her hands after lunch, and that had been good enough for him. He had been wondering how he was going to be able to slip her the drug he had in the vial that was in his pocket. Mark had told him that the substance would sedate her; not to the point of passing out, but that it would make her more...pliable. It was similar to Ecstasy, Mark had said. The guy who'd sold it to him had assured him that the substance would weaken a woman's resistance to a man's advances. Sounded good to Lucifer. </p>
<p>He had ordered her an after-dinner drink, and he had slipped the waitress some extra money to have the bartender pour heavily. Then, when the server brought the drink to the table, Lucifer had tipped the contents of the vial into it and stirred it with the straw. </p>
<p>Sarah came back from the bathroom and sat down at the table. It was funny, really; when they'd first gotten to the restaurant and had been brought to the table to be seated, she had stood there, expecting him to pull the chair out for her, as Cas had done. But Gordon had merely sat down across from her, and Sarah had sat down immediately, feeling foolish. But why would she have expected otherwise? No man held out a chair for you anymore. That had been a lovely, endearing gesture on Cas's part, but she was sure it was unique to him. </p>
<p>But Gordon had been good company. They'd had a leisurely lunch, and now when she got back from washing her hands, she saw that he had ordered them both one more drink. She looked at him. </p>
<p>"Come on, Sarah, live a little," Gordon teased her. He raised his own glass, and she picked up her fresh drink and clinked her glass with his. </p>
<p>Once their drinks were finished and Gordon paid the bill, they walked outside. "Wow, is it ever hot now," Sarah commented. She was feeling a little lightheaded. Maybe she shouldn't have had that last drink. Or maybe it was just the heat. Why the hell did she live in a place with such a hot climate, anyway? </p>
<p>Gordon took his cell phone out of his pocket. "I'll call the limo to come and get us," he told her. </p>
<p>Good, Sarah thought. Her head was starting to swim. She was sure that once she got into an air-conditioned vehicle, she'd be fine. </p>
<p>Oliver saw them emerge from the restaurant, and he saw Devlin take out his cell phone. Good. That would give Oliver a moment to get into position. He crouched and then dropped to one knee, picking up the rifle he'd gone back to the motel to retrieve. His arms were shaking, both with dread and with excitement. Excitement, because this was his opportunity to save the human race. Dread, because Oliver had never murdered anyone in cold blood before. But he was convinced: this was the right thing to do. He aimed the rifle and fired. </p>
<p>PING! The bullet hit the metal bus stop pole beside Gordon and fell to the sidewalk. What the...? He looked at the pole, which was wobbling now, and then down at the sidewalk. Had someone just fired a shot at them? He started to smirk. But then, as he looked closer at the spent bullet, Lucifer's eyes widened. The bullet was partially collapsed, but he could still make out the pattern. A pentagram! </p>
<p>Sarah had heard the noise too, but it didn't really register on her what it could have meant. She was feeling quite woozy now. She hoped the limo was going to be here soon; she felt like she was going to pass out any minute. </p>
<p>Cas had heard the ping too, from his vantage point across the street from the restaurant. What was that? He had also heard a cracking sound to his right, and he looked up to where that sound had seemed to come from. Was that a man on the roof of that apartment building? Cas shaded his eyes from the sun with his hand. Yes, it was definitely a male figure up there. And he was holding something. What was it that he was holding? </p>
<p>Lucifer looked up too, but the sun was so bright after coming out from the dimly-lit restaurant that he couldn't see a damn thing. Someone was shooting at him, and they were using pentagram bullets. </p>
<p>He dropped his cell phone on the sidewalk and started to run. </p>
<p>Oliver panicked. He had missed the shot, and now Devlin was going to get away. He lined up another shot, but he overcorrected with his aim. Devlin was running past Sarah, and the shot hit her squarely in the chest. </p>
<p>Oliver dropped the rifle. He had shot the girl! Devlin was out of range now, and Oliver had missed his chance. He fled from the roof. </p>
<p>Sarah had had her eyes closed when she felt the sudden pain in her chest. She opened her eyes, wondering what that sound had been. She turned to ask Gordon, but he was gone. Then Sarah looked down at her chest. Why did it hurt so much, all of a sudden? The blood was starting to bloom on her top now, and the sight was surreal to her. Then everything went black. </p>
<p>Cas saw Gail crumple to the sidewalk, and he shouted her name as he ran to where she lay. He fell to the sidewalk and took her in his arms. She was an Angel, so a bullet wouldn't kill her. That's what he told himself. But she was bleeding, and she appeared to be unconscious. He put his hand on her forehead to find out where she was currently living, and then he winked them there. </p>
<p>Lucifer had run down the street in his panic, and then he heard Castiel's voice, yelling Gail's name. He turned around and saw his Brother running towards her. Damn it! Lucifer knew she couldn't be hurt seriously by a bullet, of course, and certainly not one with a pentagram carved on it. Not any more, at least, he thought with a smirk. But, SHE wouldn't know that, would she? And now, the first face she was going to see hovering over her in her moment of need would be Castiel's, not his. But Lucifer had had the impulse to save his own hide first, of course. No woman, or man for that matter, was worth him risking his life over. </p>
<p>Still, the shooting seemed to have stopped now, so Lucifer slowly started making his way back to her. But by the time he raised his arms and prepared to blast Castiel out of the way, the two of them had disappeared. </p>
<p>Castiel had her; now, where would he have taken her? To a hospital? No, that was ridiculous. Castiel knew very well that the bullet might hurt her momentarily, but it would do no lasting harm. And if the hospital did enough tests on her vessel, they would likely detect the illicit drug that he had put in her drink, which would be very bad for him. But Lucifer didn't think he would take her to the hospital. </p>
<p>Would he take Gail back to his precious bunker, to cloister her there and cover her with hugs and sweet little kisses while he worked on recovering her memory of him? That might do for a bit, but the Sarah that Lucifer had created would soon want more. If Castiel was smart, he would bed her, as soon as possible. But Lucifer doubted that his Brother would. He would be too sickeningly honourable to seduce her while she still thought that she was someone else. Lucifer still wanted to be the one to take her next. And he felt like there was still time to do so. He had scanned the bunker with his mind, and the couple weren't there. Where had Castiel taken her? </p>
<p>But, wait a minute: Castiel wouldn't be fool enough to take her to Sarah's apartment, would he? If he had, she was still within striking distance. </p>
<p>Lucifer was just about to wink himself there when the police car pulled up. </p>
<p>Cas laid Gail down on the bed. She was unconscious, non-responsive. Was she just in shock? </p>
<p>He tore open her top and dug into the bullet hole with his fingers. He grasped the bullet, pulled it out of her, and flung it across the room. Then he healed the wound. She was still out cold. She was healed now; why wasn't she coming to? </p>
<p>He raced into the small bathroom that was just off the bedroom and got a washcloth, rinsing it in cold water. Then he raced back and wiped the blood off her chest, and then he went to her closet and grabbed a new top for her. He eased her out of the remnants of the bloody top and bra and put the clean top on her. She still hadn't even stirred. Now he was starting to panic. What was wrong with her? </p>
<p>He raced back to the bathroom and washed the blood off the cloth, then brought it and a towel back to the bed. He gently dried off her chest and put the cold cloth on her forehead. </p>
<p>Sarah started coming to when she felt the towel rubbing her chest and heard Cas's voice, pleading with her to wake up, please wake up. Her eyes opened slowly. It was Cas she'd heard, all right. He had a hold of her arm now, and he was rubbing it briskly up and down. Then he did the other one. </p>
<p>Cas had seen someone revive someone else this way on TV, and praise Father, it seemed to be working. She was stirring now, and her eyes were half-open. But she still seemed languorous. </p>
<p>"Cas?" Sarah said drowsily. Was this another one of her sexy dreams? She was sitting partially upright against the pillows on her bed at home, and he was sitting on the bed beside her, caressing her arms. She reached up to touch his face with both hands, and his eyes lit up. </p>
<p>"Oh, thank God. You're OK," he said, and he gathered up both of her hands in his and kissed the palms of her hands. </p>
<p>"Come here, Cas," Sarah said softly, and she pulled his head towards her and kissed him. She kissed him on the lips, and he looked surprised, but he kissed her back. She opened up her mouth and gave him her tongue, and his arms went around her, pulling her to him. </p>
<p>"I love you, Gail," he said in her ear. </p>
<p>Now Sarah was confused. Why would he be calling her by that other woman's name in her dream? But now, her eyes were starting to focus, and his body felt way too solid, too real. She had just been having lunch with Gordon, and when they'd come outside there had been a couple of noises that had sounded oddly like gunshots, then she had felt a pain in her chest, and now she was here, with Cas. What the hell? </p>
<p>She pulled out of the embrace. "Cas, are you really here?" she asked him. </p>
<p>"Yes, of course I'm here," he replied, smiling at her. "And so are you, and you're all right." He still had his arms around her, and now he brushed an errant strand of hair off her face. He had missed being this close to her, so much. </p>
<p>"What happened, Cas?" she asked dazedly. </p>
<p>"You were shot," he told her softly. "But don't worry, you're fine." </p>
<p>She was shocked. "I was shot? What about Gordon? Where is he?" </p>
<p>Cas frowned. "He ran away, like a coward. I saw that you had been shot, so I brought you back here and removed the bullet. Then I cleaned you up." </p>
<p>Sarah pushed him away and looked down at herself. She pulled her top away from her body and looked at her chest. Not a mark on her. "Where was I shot?" she asked him. "I felt a pain in my chest." </p>
<p>"That's where the bullet was," Cas confirmed. </p>
<p>"And you removed it," she said skeptically, looking at him. </p>
<p>"Yes," he said simply. </p>
<p>"So, on top of all your other talents, you're a surgeon, too," she said, bemused. "I was shot in the chest, you removed the bullet, yet I have no sign of a wound, and I'm just fine. That's what you're telling me?" </p>
<p>Cas was frustrated. "That's what happened, Gail." </p>
<p>"How can I be fine, Cas? If that's what really happened, how can I be fine?" she persisted. </p>
<p>"Because I healed you," he told her. "And you wouldn't have been seriously harmed, anyway. I just couldn't bear to see you like that." </p>
<p>"Cas, you're not making any sense," Sarah said to him, shaking her head. "Look at me. You can't just patch somebody up instantly like that from a shot to the chest. And you're still calling me 'Gail'. If you felt like you had to make up a story to get me into bed, it should at least be a believable one. I don't know what happened, or how we got here, but since we're here anyway..." She leaned forward and kissed him softly on the cheek. "I have to admit, I don't really mind," she said into his ear. Then she gave it a little lick. "But please, at least call me Sarah while we're doing it." </p>
<p>Cas wanted to kiss her, and then lay her down on the pillows. Now that they were here alone together, and he had seen that she was physically fine, he longed to undress her and make love to her. It had been so long. But she wanted him to call her Sarah, and he couldn't do that, because she wasn't Sarah. She was Gail, but she wasn't his Gail, not at the moment. She obviously loved him on some level, but until she was herself, he would just be taking advantage. </p>
<p>"I can't, Gail," he told her. "Not until you're you again." </p>
<p>"And what does that mean, exactly?" she asked, looking into his eyes. "Who am I, supposedly?" </p>
<p>"You and I are Angels," Castiel told her. He took her hands in his. "We live here on Earth, but we alternate between Earth and Heaven, depending on where we're needed." He smiled. "We've been together for nearly three years now. We have Angel friends and human friends waiting for us back at the bunker, and they've missed you almost as much as I have." Then he frowned. "You've been gone for nearly nine months, Gail. I just about lost my mind." </p>
<p>"You HAVE lost your mind, Cas," she said sharply, pulling her hands away from his. "How can you possibly expect me to believe such a far-fetched story?" </p>
<p>"Because it's true," Castiel responded. "And you yourself are the proof. You were shot in the chest. If you had been a human, you probably would have died. And if I had been a human, I wouldn't have been able to heal you." </p>
<p>Sarah stared at him. His eyes were clear, and they were looking right into hers. Cas really believed what he was saying. And if what he was saying was really true, what a hell of an exciting story that would be. She only wished. </p>
<p>"Cas, for the last time, my name is Sarah," she insisted. "I've lived here in Los Angeles and worked for Reverend Devlin for the past two years now." </p>
<p>Cas was growing really frustrated now. A part of her had believed what he was telling her or wanted to. He had to break through to her somehow. "Really?" he retorted. "All right then, tell me: What's your last name, 'Sarah'? Where did you live, and what did you do, before coming here? Who are your parents? Where did you grow up? Can you answer even one of those questions?" </p>
<p>"Stop badgering me, Cas," Sarah shot back. She was angry now, but she was also a little scared. She realized she couldn't actually answer a single one of those questions. She didn't even know her own last name. What had this guy done to her? Hypnotized her, somehow? Who the hell didn't even know their own last name? "Look, Cas, thanks for bringing me home from - " she gestured " - whatever that was. But I think you need to go now." </p>
<p>Suddenly, there was a light knock on the bedroom door. "Sarah?" </p>
<p>Gordon entered the room. "Are you all right, Sarah? I would have been here sooner, but I had to talk to the police." </p>
<p>Cas rose from the bed and faced him. "What you mean to say is that you would have been here sooner, but first, you had to return from wherever it was you ran away to," he said angrily. </p>
<p>Lucifer glared at Castiel. "I didn't run away. I was going for help." </p>
<p>"Did you not have a cell phone in your hand when the shooting started?" Cas said sharply. </p>
<p>Lucifer gritted his teeth. "I dropped it on the sidewalk after that first near miss. It broke." </p>
<p>Cas laughed harshly. "Do you expect us to believe that? You ran away because you're a coward. I was the one who took care of Gail. I've been taking care of her for three years now. Protecting her from people like you." </p>
<p>Lucifer manufactured a laugh. He looked at Gail. "You were right, Sarah, he IS nuts. Anyway, I gave my statement to the police. I told them that someone shot at us, they missed, and that we were both fine." </p>
<p>"She's only fine because I healed her, and because she's an Angel," Cas said pointedly. "As am I. And you are nothing but a false Prophet. The worst sort of human." </p>
<p>"Can you believe this guy?" Lucifer said. He approached the bed, giving Castiel a wide berth. He looked down at Gail. "He's a crazy stalker, and HE'S calling ME bad." He turned back to Cas. "You can go now, Cas. Sarah doesn't want you here." </p>
<p>"Thanks, Cas, but he's right. You'd better leave," Sarah said. </p>
<p>Gordon smiled. "You heard the lady. Now, get out." He sat down on the bed beside Sarah, taking her hand. </p>
<p>Cas was livid. He should take his blade out right now and end the pathetic excuse for a life that was Gordon Devlin. But as long as Gail didn't want Cas here, he couldn't force the issue. He couldn't have her angry at him, or afraid of him, if he hoped to make her receptive to him. And stabbing her boss once or twice or thirty times wouldn't be a very good way to earn her trust. But he had to trust in her now, too. If she was his Gail, deep down inside, she wouldn't be taken in by this man. Cas gave her one last look, and then he exited the bedroom. Once he was out of sight, he popped out into the street in front of her apartment building. He began to pace back and forth. Just because she'd wanted him to leave the room didn't mean that he wouldn't be here to watch out for her. If her boss had come here just to make sure that she was all right, that was fine. But if he didn't come back down in fifteen minutes, Cas was going back up. And the next time, he was going to have his blade in his hand. </p>
<p>Lucifer was holding Gail's hands in his now, and he was smiling. "In bed and helpless. Just the way I like them," he said to her. </p>
<p>"Har, har," Sarah retorted. "Very funny. So what happened back there, Gordon?" </p>
<p>"I told you," he said. "Some lunatic shot at us and missed. I went for help, and your psychotic boyfriend obviously brought you back here before I could come back for you. I'm sorry, Sarah. Later today, I'm going to start interviewing for a bodyguard. Nothing bad will ever happen to you while you're with me, I can promise you that." </p>
<p>"Thanks, Gordon," she said. </p>
<p>"I can take care of you as well as he can," Gordon said. He gently pushed her down against the pillows. Then he waved his hand over her face, restoring her brown hair and brown eyes. Lucifer had decided that this was his golden opportunity. She had chased Castiel off again, and she probably had the drug he'd given her coursing through her veins. And if Castiel had gotten her a little worked up before Lucifer had gotten here, so much the better. </p>
<p>He kissed her on the mouth, and while she wasn't kissing him back, she wasn't exactly resisting, either. Lucifer took that as a good sign. He put his hand between her legs and started to rub her through her pants. </p>
<p>"Let me in, Sarah," Lucifer said. "It'll be good, I promise." He took his hand away from her so that he could put his arms around her. </p>
<p>"Do that again," she said to him. Lucifer smiled. The bitch was worked up, all right. He would touch her again as she had requested, and then he would have her undo his pants and get on her knees for him. </p>
<p>Lucifer kissed her again, and he put his hand back between her legs. "Do you like that?" he asked her. </p>
<p>"No," Sarah said softly. "No. Not when YOU do it." </p>
<p>"What?" Lucifer said sharply. "What are you talking about? You just asked me to do it again!" </p>
<p>"I just wanted to be sure," she replied. "And, guess what? I didn't feel anything, Gordon! Nothing. I only feel something when it's Cas kissing me and touching me. I'm sorry, Gordon. Looks like that's it for that, then." Incredibly, she was smiling. "If you want me to keep working for you, I'm willing to do that, but we can never have that kind of a relationship. And now, I think you'd better leave, too. You can let me know your decision in the morning." </p>
<p>She started to sit up, but Lucifer was enraged now. The little slut. She had thrown Castiel out, and she was telling Lucifer to leave now? He didn't think so. He had her here underneath him now, and he was done waiting for her to open her legs for him. </p>
<p>He shoved her back down on the bed and opened his pants, exposing himself to her. "I forgot what you truly like," he said through gritted teeth. "I've been going about this all wrong. You like it rough. Okay, we'll do it that way, then. I'm done playing around." </p>
<p>Sarah was scared now. What was wrong with him? Was Gordon going to try to rape her? He'd always struck her as all bark, and no bite. But he was pinning her to the bed now, and he was on top of her. She was struggling, but he was too strong for her. </p>
<p>"Once I get you on your stomach, you'll start to enjoy it," Lucifer told her. "You won't even have to look at my face. You can just pretend it's your precious Castiel doing that to you. Then maybe it won't hurt quite as much. But I'll make sure it hurts; otherwise, you won't enjoy it, will you?" He released one of her arms in order to flip her over, and Sarah used the opportunity to hit him in the face. "Get off me, Gordon!" she yelled. "Stop it!" </p>
<p>But he was grabbing at her again, turning her roughly over onto her stomach, and she had a pretty good idea what he meant to do to her once he had her in that position. She wished she could just disappear out from underneath him. Sarah closed her eyes and screwed up her face. Gordon had her arms behind her back, and he was tugging on her clothes now. Please help me, God, she prayed. Please. </p>
<p>Gail appeared on the sidewalk in front of Cas. In her desperation, she had winked herself right out of Sarah's apartment. Cas caught her before she collapsed onto the pavement. </p>
<p>"What the hell?" Sarah asked him. "What was that?" </p>
<p>Cas smiled. "You teleported," he told her, trying to steady her on her feet. </p>
<p>She looked up at the building. "I was just...and now I'm...I did what, now?" She looked at Cas, astonished. </p>
<p>"You obviously needed to get away from him rather suddenly," Castiel said dryly. "He tried to interfere with you, didn't he?" </p>
<p>Despite her fear of a moment ago, Sarah smiled wryly. "That's the understatement of the century. I've got to get away from here, Cas. I just can't deal with him right now." </p>
<p>"Will you allow me to take you somewhere safe?" he asked her. "I'll take you someplace quiet, where we can talk. Then, whatever you decide to do, I'll abide by." </p>
<p>"OK, Cas," Sarah said. Her head was spinning. She'd been shot at, Gordon had just tried to rape her, and she had "teleported" out of her own apartment to escape him. Maybe Crazy Cas wasn't so crazy after all. Maybe Sarah was the crazy one. "Sure. Why not?" she said, laughing nervously. </p>
<p>He took her hand and winked them out of Los Angeles. </p>
<p>Cas took her to the park bench outside their former apartment building. He sat them down as she looked around. </p>
<p>"Nice place," Sarah remarked. "Very serene." </p>
<p>"It's one of my favourite places," Cas said to her. "Or at least, it is now that you're back here with me." </p>
<p>"Where's here?" she asked him. </p>
<p>"Lebanon, Kansas," he replied. He turned and pointed up. "We used to live in that building. You used to come down here sometimes, to enjoy the fresh air." He smiled. "And probably to get away from me, once in a while." </p>
<p>She looked at him. "And why was I getting away from you, Cas? What's going on here? Who's crazy, Cas? You, or me?" </p>
<p>"Neither," he said firmly. "You've just forgotten who you truly are. And I'm only crazy about you." </p>
<p>"Then tell me who I'm supposed to be," she said to him. </p>
<p>Cas took her hand. "I already did," he said softly. "I know it seems hard to believe, but it's all true. This is where you belong, Gail." </p>
<p>She thought about what he was saying. Hadn't she known, in the back of her mind, that something was wrong? She had tried to think back to before she had met Cas on the plane on the way to Las Vegas, and Sarah couldn't remember a damn thing before that day. Not even one thing. There was no way that was possible. He was claiming that they were Angels, and that they'd been in a relationship for three years. But they had been eating and drinking in Vegas, and Angels weren't supposed to be able to do all those things, plus the things they'd done in bed, were they? But then again, what did she know about the subject? Anything she could recall having read or seen about Angels brought to mind beings with wings, watching over you. Well, Cas had certainly been watching over her. He'd saved her from a crazed sniper, and then she had apparently saved herself from her jackass of a boss. She couldn't believe Gordon had done that. She'd thought that Cas was the maniac, and Gordon was supposed to be a Reverend. Up was down, and black was white. </p>
<p>She and Cas sat there quietly for a few minutes as Sarah tried to organize her thoughts. Cas was still holding onto her hand. There was no way he could let go of it now. Just the fact that she was sitting here with him like this was extremely encouraging to him. </p>
<p>Cas saw movement in the grass, and he looked down to see his little chipmunk friend. The animal sat up on its hind legs, looking at Cas. Then it turned its head to look at Gail, then it looked back at Cas. Cas smiled. "I haven't forgotten about your treat," he told the chipmunk softly. "We've just been a little busy." He bent down and put his hand out, and the animal climbed onto his palm, just as it had before. </p>
<p>Sarah was watching this. She remembered the gentle way Cas had spoken to the growling dog outside the coffee shop, and her thoughts about that at the time. "Suddenly we're in a Disney movie," she quipped. "Friend of yours?" she inquired lightly, one eyebrow raised. </p>
<p>"Yes," Castiel said simply. He'd better not tell her that he and the chipmunk had communicated with each other about her, or she would never be persuaded to stay. He brought his hand up and showed the chipmunk to her. </p>
<p>"He's cute," Sarah said. She reached out slowly and stroked the fur on its head. "Has he got a name?" </p>
<p>"All God's creatures have a name," Castiel replied, looking at her warmly. </p>
<p>She sighed. "And you're telling me that mine is Gail. Then why don't I remember, Cas?" </p>
<p>He put the chipmunk back down on the grass and watched it scamper off for a moment, then turned back to look at her. "It's a long story," he told her. He had no idea where to start. How could she possibly take it all in? </p>
<p>"Of course it is," Sarah said. She sighed again. "Well, I guess I've got the time to hear it, now. I seem to be out of a job." </p>
<p>Cas looked at her closely, his eyes flashing for a moment. "What did he do to you, Gail?" </p>
<p>She thought about telling him everything, but she didn't like the way Cas's jaw clenched when he'd said that. All she would need was for him to freak out, when she was trying to find a way to be OK with him. But she didn't want to lie to Cas, either. "He came on to me," Sarah told Cas. His lips pursed. She could tell he was trying to hold onto his temper. "But I told him I didn't have any feelings for him, Cas," she continued. Then she shrugged. What the hell. "I seem to only have feelings for you," she told him. "Go figure." </p>
<p>He smiled. "That's because we're in love," he told her. </p>
<p>"Oh, well, that explains it, then," she said, smiling wryly. </p>
<p>"You'll see," Cas said, taking her hands in his again. He kissed her softly on the lips. He was still smiling. "I've loved you for three years now, and for some unknown reason, you seem to feel the same way about me." </p>
<p>Sarah shook her head slowly. With every minute that passed, she was starting to see how that could be possible. </p>
<p>"Will you come to the bunker with me?" Cas asked her. "Maybe if you see it, you'll begin to remember. Sam and Dean live there, and you and I spend a lot of time there. Your brother Frank will be there too, and probably Jody, as well." </p>
<p>"Sam and Dean live there together? Are they Angels, too? Are they a couple?" Sarah asked curiously. </p>
<p>Cas laughed softly. "Neither. They're humans, and they're brothers," he told her. "Though you must remember to ask Dean both of those questions, when you see him. And I'll need to be in the room when you do." It was really a shame she didn't remember; she would have thought that quite funny. </p>
<p>But Sarah was thinking about that. Why not? she asked herself. Maybe seeing the place would jog her memory. Maybe she could talk to those guys a bit more and see what they said. None of them had looked familiar to her when she'd been introduced to them, but she owed it to herself to do a bit more investigation on the subject. She wasn't necessarily ready to buy into this whole crazy theory just yet, but there had to be some explanation as to why she didn't know anything about herself, or her own life. Not to mention the fact that both she and Cas just seemed to be able to pop around from place to place. </p>
<p>"Are they all as nice as you are?" she asked Cas. </p>
<p>"No," he deadpanned, and she laughed. "Well, I know they can't be as funny as you are," she told him, smiling. </p>
<p>"Please tell Dean that, too," Cas said, raising his eyebrows comically. "I've been trying to tell him that I'm funny for years now." </p>
<p>She laughed again, "OK, I will." </p>
<p>Cas was elated. She wasn't scared of him anymore, she was coming to the bunker willingly, and she even looked like herself again. When she had appeared before him on the sidewalk in front of Sarah's apartment building, Gail's hair and eyes had been brown again. He probably should have stopped to think about that. He probably should have thought about why she had looked so panicked when she had first appeared. And if Gail had mentioned to him that Gordon had called him Castiel, everything would have been clear to him, and a lot of lives could have been saved. But Gail was his priority now. She was coming back home, and he had to focus all of his energies on helping her regain her memory. </p>
<p>He took her hand and winked her to the bunker. </p>
<p>Cas had sent Bobby a message on Angel Radio, asking him to please make sure their Angel friends stayed out of the bunker for the time being. He didn't want Gail to be inundated with so many people all at once, people who would probably all be strangers to her. He also asked Bobby to call Dean on his cell phone to let their human friends know that he was bringing her home, though her memory had not yet returned. </p>
<p>They stood outside the bunker, hand in hand. Sarah was holding his hand tightly, looking at him with wide eyes. "Are you all right?" he asked her. </p>
<p>She took a deep breath. "I guess so," she told him. "This is just so weird." </p>
<p>"Just remember that everyone here loves you," he told her. </p>
<p>She shook her head, as if to clear it. What a concept. Apparently, there were a whole bunch of beings that hung out here, Cas had said. Human, Angels...even God Himself. And they all loved her? Had she stepped into a movie all of a sudden? Or a cult? </p>
<p>She gave Cas's hand a squeeze. "You'll be with me the whole time, right?" she asked him. </p>
<p>Cas smiled. "Of course," he said softly. If she only knew. He was never going to leave her side again. He opened the door to the bunker and walked with her down the stairs. Dean was standing at the foot of the stairs, and Sam, Frank and Jody were standing behind him. </p>
<p>"Hey, Gail," Dean said, smiling at her. He wanted very badly to hug her, but Bobby had advised that Cas said she was still skittish. So he settled for putting his hand out, and she took it. "Hi, Dean," she said shyly. Her eyes roamed around the room. What a strange-looking place. It looked partly like a home, but mostly like some kind of a secret agent hangout, or something. Then her eyes shifted to Sam and Frank. Standing next to Frank was a woman with short, dark hair that she had never seen before. Frank was holding the woman's hand. </p>
<p>Cas was looking curiously at Dean. His friend had insisted from the beginning that she was not Gail, but now that she looked like herself again, there could be no doubt. He could see it in Dean's eyes. Dean recognized her now. His eyes lifted to Cas's, and Cas could see the apology in them. Cas smiled at his friend. It didn't matter. Nothing was bothering Cas any more. Gail was home. </p>
<p>Frank squeezed Jody's hand, then moved forward. How could he have been so wrong? Her hair and eyes had been different, but still, he should have known it was her. "Hi'ya, kiddo," he said to her. Her forehead wrinkled. "That's what I always called you," Frank said in a quiet voice. </p>
<p>"Oh," Sarah said. She looked at Jody. "This must be Jody," she said. "Is she your girlfriend?" Silence. "Did I say something wrong?" Sarah said to them. </p>
<p>"Not at all," Jody said, smiling. "It's about time we came out of the closet, anyway. It's not like everybody doesn't already know." She walked up to Gail. "I'm glad somebody finally said it out loud," Jody continued. </p>
<p>Sarah smiled. She liked this woman already. But she frowned when she looked up at Sam. He had a serious expression on his face, just as he'd had when he'd been asking her all those questions before the Reverend's show. She had extolled Gordon's virtues to Sam, but she had been unable to explain any of his theology. Sarah felt stupid now. Look at what kind of a guy the so-called "Reverend" had turned out to be. She looked away from Sam, embarrassed. She may not know exactly who she was at the moment, but she'd thought she was smarter than that. </p>
<p>Sam looked at Cas, concerned. He realized now that he'd given her a bit of a third degree when he had come to the theatre with Cas. Sam felt bad about that now. He'd been approaching it like an investigation. But she was wide-eyed now, looking around her, stealing glances at all of them but only making eye contact with Cas. They would clearly have to treat her with kid gloves for a while. </p>
<p>"Can I get you a beer?" Dean said, nudging her. </p>
<p>She made a face. "No thanks, Dean." </p>
<p>He smiled. "You always did hate beer." </p>
<p>"Then what did you offer me one for?" she retorted. </p>
<p>Dean nodded at Cas. "She's Gail, all right. Same smartass." He smiled down at her. "Can I please give you a hug, before I explode?" he asked her. </p>
<p>She looked up at him. Then she shrugged. "Sure, Dean," she said with a little smile. He opened his arms and wrapped her in a hug. Dean smiled at Cas. "Thank God you're stubborn," he said to his Angel friend. "Thank you for bringing her back home." Then he pulled out of the embrace, looking down at her face. "OK if I call you Gail?" Dean asked her. "I went out with a Sara once, and it did not end well." </p>
<p>"That's because you were also dating her best friend at the same time," Sam piped up, grinning. </p>
<p>"Shut up, Sammy," Dean said good-naturedly. "Gail was just starting to like me. Let's not sully the moment." </p>
<p>She was smiling up at Dean. There was just something about him that put her instantly at ease. "So, you're one of THOSE guys, are you?" she teased him. Dean gave her a half-shrug, and he broke into a wide smile when she said, "That wasn't ME, by any chance, was it?" </p>
<p>"Naah, you have way better taste than that, Gail," Sam quipped. They all laughed, even Dean. She looked around at all of their faces again. She might actually grow to like these people, Sarah thought. </p>
<p>"Why don't you guys all call me Gail, then?" she said. "What the hell? Apparently, that's my name. I might as well get used to it." </p>
<p>Gail walked up to Frank. "So, you're my brother, eh? Obviously, you got all the height." </p>
<p>Frank's eyes flicked over to Cas for a moment, and then he looked at Dean. "What do you say we all sit down and have a drink?" he said. </p>
<p>"I've got a bottle of champagne I've been saving," Sam said to the assembled group. He'd been saving it for this day, of course. Thank God Cas had ignored them all. Sam would never doubt anything Cas said, ever again. </p>
<p>But Frank was shaking his head. "Gail doesn't like champagne," he told Sam. "She always says the bubbles tickle her nose. Get her a rye and ginger." </p>
<p>Sam looked at Gail, who was smiling. "What he said," she quipped, pointing at Frank. Sam grinned again, and said, "Come on, Jodes, Dean. Let's give them a second." </p>
<p>The three humans trooped out of the room. </p>
<p>"Do you want me to go, too?" Cas asked Gail. </p>
<p>"No," she said, looking stricken. "Stay here, please." She reached out for his hand. Cas gave Frank a half-shrug, but inside, he was beaming. He took Gail's hand. Frank was a little hurt, but he tried to understand. In his sister's mind, she was meeting him as her brother for the very first time. And boy, did he have something to tell her, right off the bat. Those guys had better bring lots of booze. </p>
<p>They were all sitting around the table drinking a few minutes later. At least, Gail and the humans were. Cas had abstained. It was curious to him that she still ate and drank, and apparently, she slept, too. But he didn't care. She was sitting in her usual seat at the table. He had guided her to it and pulled the chair out for her, and then he'd sat next to her, holding her hand. Cas was over the moon right now. </p>
<p>"Try to cheer up, Cas," Dean quipped. He'd never seen Cas look so happy, and he had known the Angel the longest. </p>
<p>"I can't help it, Dean," Cas said, smiling at his friend. He brought Gail's hand up to his lips and kissed it. "I can't help it," he repeated. </p>
<p>Gail thought he was sweet, but her eyes kept roving around the room, searching for anything that might look familiar to her. There were a lot of books, which she found comforting. Whatever her name might be, she knew that she loved books. She could picture herself curled up on that couch by the fireplace, with a blanket on her lap. She would be reading while the men talked or watched TV. She could almost picture that, as if it were a memory. </p>
<p>Frank was frowning. Cas tried to recall if Gail's brother had smiled even once since Cas and Gail had gotten here. He could not, and it was starting to bother him. </p>
<p>"What's the matter, Frank?" he asked quietly. </p>
<p>Frank cleared his throat. "There's something I have to tell you," he said, looking at Cas and Gail. "I didn't think it would ever come up, but..." His voice faltered, and Jody gave him an encouraging nod. </p>
<p>"I'm not your brother, Gail," Frank said.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. I Can't Dance</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Cas was shocked. "What?" he exclaimed. "What do you mean?" </p>
<p>But Gail was looking at Frank calmly. What difference did it make? She didn't remember him, anyway. </p>
<p>Frank looked down at the table. "I mean, we're not actually related, Cas. That's why the samples didn't match. I told these guys as soon as you left the lab, but you never came back. I should have told all of you when Sam first came up with the idea." He looked up at Gail. "I'm sorry, Gail. We grew up in the same house, but we're not brother and sister." </p>
<p>Now Gail was confused. Not only did she not know who any of these people were, but now the guy that Cas had been telling her was her brother was telling her that he wasn't really her brother. "Are you guys purposely trying to drive me crazy?" she said, looking at all of them. "Because it won't take much right now, I can assure you." </p>
<p>"I'm sorry, Gail," Frank said again, shifting uncomfortably in his chair. "I was hoping you would never have to know. Cas told you the truth, as he knew it. Nobody knew, not until the DNA test came back as no match." </p>
<p>Now Gail was really confused. "What DNA test?" she said. </p>
<p>Dean frowned. "Cas was sure it was you, but none of us were," he said to her. "So Sam suggested we compare your DNA with Frank's. But the lab said the two samples didn't match. That was when Frank told us. But Cas had already taken off by then." </p>
<p>She looked at Cas incredulously. "So, none of them thought I was me? Then why did you? And how the hell did you get my DNA?" </p>
<p>"The day we had coffee," Cas replied. "I brought your coffee cup back here, and Sam took it to the lab to compare with a sample of Frank's blood." He looked at Frank. "Why didn't you say something then?" </p>
<p>Frank shrugged. "I don't know, Cas. I thought it might be a moot point, I guess. None of us thought it was her, anyway." He looked at Gail again. "I'm sorry, kiddo. I know things must be confusing enough for you right now without me adding to it. But the truth is, my parents adopted you. But I still love you like a sister, if that helps." </p>
<p>Gail stood up from the table. "Well, you know what? It doesn't help. I have no idea who any of you are, anyway. And it sounds like none of you knew who I was, either. Now I'm starting to wonder if I AM this 'Gail'. Excuse me." She walked over to the stairs that led up and out of the bunker. </p>
<p>Frank swore softly as Cas jumped up from his chair. "Where are you going?" Cas asked her. </p>
<p>She turned around, and he could see that she had tears in her eyes. "I don't know, Cas. I'm just so confused. I don't feel like I belong here, and I can't go back to L.A. now. I don't know what to do. I don't know where I belong." </p>
<p>He walked over to where she stood and took her in his arms. "You belong with me, Gail. That's where you belong." He kissed her gently on the forehead. </p>
<p>She stepped away from him. "I need some air, Cas," she said. "I'm going outside for a minute." She turned back to the stairs, but Cas said, "No. You can't." </p>
<p>Gail turned back around slowly. "What do you mean, I can't?" she asked him, her eyes narrowing. </p>
<p>Cas was starting to panic. "You can't go out there alone, Gail. You don't know what's out there. I'll come with you." </p>
<p>"I want to be alone for a minute," she said sharply. "What do you mean, 'what's out there'? What are you not telling me?" </p>
<p>Dean rose suddenly. Cas was about to lose it, and if he spilled his guts to Gail right now, they would probably never see her again. "I got this," he said, walking over to Cas and putting his hand on his arm. Dean looked at Gail. "How about I come with you instead?" </p>
<p>Gail looked at him appraisingly. "You? Why you?" </p>
<p>Dean strode back to the table and grabbed the whiskey bottle in one hand and the ginger ale bottle in the other. "Because I'm gonna bring these." </p>
<p>Gail grinned. "Now you're talking," she said. She walked back to the table and grabbed her glass, and then she came back to the foot of the stairs. She glanced at Cas, then started to climb the stairs. "Let's go, then," she called to Dean. "Come, if you're coming." </p>
<p>"I'll keep an eye on her," Dean said quietly to Cas. "In the meantime, try to breathe." He followed Gail up the stairs and outside. </p>
<p>Sam had arranged a few lawn chairs out back to enjoy during the summer months, and Gail sank down in one of them now. Dean sat beside her. </p>
<p>"Give it here," he said, gesturing for the glass she had in her hand. She gave it to him, and he poured a generous shot of rye into it, then topped that up with ginger ale. He'd brought a glass for himself too, and he poured it half full of whiskey, straight. </p>
<p>Gail thanked him, and she took a sip of her drink, looking up at the sky. The day was still warm, though it was late afternoon, but the chairs they were sitting on were in the shade. </p>
<p>"Hell of a place you've got here," she commented. </p>
<p>Dean laughed shortly. "Isn't it? I didn't know what to make of it when we first got here. But it's home now. Though Sammy and I like to go out on the road, too." </p>
<p>"And what do you do when you're out on the road, Dean?" she asked him. </p>
<p>"What did Cas tell you?" he countered. </p>
<p>"Nothing," Gail answered. "The only thing he told me is that he and I are Angels, and you guys are humans. But I can tell there's a lot more to it than that. I'm not an idiot, Dean. I looked at those books you have in the library. Possession? Witchcraft? Demonology? What the hell, Dean? What am I walking into, here?" </p>
<p>"You're not walking into anything you haven't walked into before, Gail," he told her. "You don't remember anything?" </p>
<p>She frowned. "Not really. I thought I remembered Cas, but maybe I just dreamed of him." </p>
<p>Dean smirked. "I'm trying to decide whether I should make a joke about that," he told her. "Or maybe my feelings should be hurt that you don't remember me." </p>
<p>"You and Sam were in my dream, too," Gail said to him. Then she pointed a finger at him. "And, before your mind stumbles into the gutter, we were just sitting around a table, talking. And I have to admit, that table looked a lot like the one we were sitting at just now." </p>
<p>"Was that all you saw in your dream?" Dean asked her. </p>
<p>"No. I also saw Frank. He was tucking me into bed, sort of like a dad might do. And, I was talking to the British guy Cas brought that one day. Where is he? Why isn't he here?" Then she had an idea. "Is he God?" </p>
<p>Dean choked on his drink, sputtering whiskey all over himself. Sam had told him about Cas having brought Crowley to the theatre. "No," he said to Gail. "Not even close." </p>
<p>"Well, who is he, then?" she demanded. </p>
<p>"We'll circle back to that one," Dean replied. "Anything else in this dream?" </p>
<p>"Just me and Cas, watching TV in bed at night," Gail said innocently. Actually, that part was true; the rest had just been her erotic fantasy. </p>
<p>Dean opened his mouth to tease her about that, then closed it again. He'd better wait on that for a bit, until she seemed more comfortable with him. Dean didn't want her just popping off someplace. Cas would have a cow. But Dean happened to agree with Cas that it wasn't safe for Gail to be wandering around by herself out there right now. Any one of their enemies could appear right in front of her, and she wouldn't know who or what they were. </p>
<p>"What's the deal with Cas, anyway?" Gail asked suddenly. </p>
<p>"Deal?" Dean echoed. "What do you mean?" </p>
<p>Gail looked at him. "You're his friend, right? What's he like?" </p>
<p>Dean smiled fondly. "Weird. Left of centre. He'll drive you nuts, sometimes. But, yeah, he's my best friend. If I had to pick anybody besides Sam to go into battle with, it'd be him." He looked at her. "And, he's got the biggest heart of anybody I've ever known." </p>
<p>She gave him a small smile. "And he and I have been in a relationship for three years?" </p>
<p>"Yeah," Dean said simply. He finished his drink, then gestured to her with the empty glass. "And, you know what? It might just be THIS talking, but every time I'd be having a bad day, I would look at the two of you, and I would get my faith back." </p>
<p>"Your faith?" she said softly. "Your faith in what?" </p>
<p>"In everything," he told her, serious now. "God. Hope. Love. Happiness. The whole nine." </p>
<p>She thought about that. Wow. Dean didn't strike her as the kind of guy who would say those sorts of things lightly. No wonder she felt drawn to Cas, then. </p>
<p>Dean rose suddenly and walked back to the door that led inside the bunker. "He will drive you crazy sometimes, though." He pounded his fist on the door. "And he's gonna get an ass-kicking in a minute if he doesn't stop trying to listen to our conversation," Dean yelled. </p>
<p>Cas was startled. How did Dean know? "I just wanted to make sure that Gail was all right," he said through the door. </p>
<p>"Buzz off, Cas. We're having a moment here," Dean said sternly, but he looked over at Gail and smiled. </p>
<p>Cas retreated down the stairs, and Dean returned to his chair, grabbing the bottle and pouring himself another shot. </p>
<p>"How did you know?" Gail asked him, and he shrugged. "Experience," Dean said briefly, and he took a drink. Then he relented. "He's just worried about you, Gail. We've all been worried about you. How've you been?" </p>
<p>Now Gail shrugged. "I don't know, Dean. I thought I was doing OK. But apparently, I wasn't even me, and I'm not OK." She took a drink too, then looked at him again. "I'm not OK, Dean," she repeated. "And now, on top of everyone else, I was just trying to get used to the idea that Frank is my brother, and it turns out he's not even my brother! I know it doesn't make any sense for me to be mad at Frank right now, but I'm mad at him, anyway." </p>
<p>"I get that," Dean told her. </p>
<p>She smiled wryly. "You do, but you don't. It's bad enough not even knowing who you are without finding out that you're not even related to the one person you were told you were related to in the first place." Gail looked at him again. "Well, that's officially the weirdest sentence I've ever uttered. Did that even make any sense?" </p>
<p>"No," Dean quipped. Then he nodded. "Yes." He turned his chair around so that he was facing her. "But, you know what?" he said earnestly. "None of that matters, Gail. A very wise man once told me: 'Family don't end in blood'. Well, it doesn't begin there, either. Frank's your brother because he loves you, Gail. The man basically raised you. He took care of you and kept you safe for all those years. So I don't give a damn what some stupid test says, he's your family. And I'm your family, and Sammy, and Bobby - you'll meet him - and the Angels, too. All of us, including Cas. Especially Cas. Screw everything else." </p>
<p>He sat back in his chair and threw back his drink, still looking at her. </p>
<p>"Wow. That was one hell of a speech," she said to Dean, smiling faintly. "It makes me want to get to know you all better." </p>
<p>Dean smiled now. "We'd like that, Gail." Then he just couldn't resist. "I think you might know Cas pretty well already, though. From what I hear, you guys had a good time in Vegas," he teased her. </p>
<p>Before Gail had a chance to retort, Dean rose from his chair again. "And, speaking of which, is it OK if I let him come out here? He must be losing it by now." He walked over to the door and listened for a moment. "Are you losing it, Cas?" Dean said through the door. "Yes, I'm losing it, Dean," Cas replied. He was standing right by the door again, of course. </p>
<p>Gail's face broke into a grin. "Tell him to come out here, Dean," she said. </p>
<p>Dean opened the door, and Cas came rushing out. He went to Gail and took both of her hands in his. "Are you all right?" he asked her. </p>
<p>"Yeah, I'm OK, Cas," she told him. </p>
<p>"I'll be inside," Dean said to them, grabbing the bottles he'd brought. "Thanks, Dean," Gail said, and he shrugged. "Yeah, yeah," he said, and he went inside. </p>
<p>"He's a pretty good guy, when you get to know him a bit," Gail said to Cas. </p>
<p>"Yes, he is," Cas agreed. </p>
<p>"Does he always drink that much?" Gail asked, smiling. </p>
<p>"Yes, he does," Cas replied, but he was smiling, too. "Did you have a nice conversation?" </p>
<p>"We did," Gail confirmed. "He made me feel better, about everything." </p>
<p>"I'm glad." Cas squeezed her hands gently. </p>
<p>"He likes to tease, though," she said, still smiling. "He was teasing me about our weekend in Vegas. I guess everybody knows about that, huh?" </p>
<p>Cas nodded. "Yes, they do. But nothing too personal, I assure you. I would never talk about anything like that to anyone else." </p>
<p>"Do you think there's a chance that we might get to do 'anything like that' ever again?" Gail said, raising an eyebrow to him. </p>
<p>"There's an excellent chance," he said lightly. He leaned down and kissed her, opening her mouth with his tongue. Gail gave him hers, and their tongues danced together for a moment. Then he put his arms around her and pulled her to him, kissing her again. </p>
<p>"Soon?" Gail breathed, when she emerged from the kiss. </p>
<p>Cas laughed softly. "Yes, soon. But I want you to be comfortable, first." </p>
<p>"The bed in Las Vegas was very comfortable, as I recall," she said, smiling. </p>
<p>He groaned softly, nuzzling her cheek. "Once you're a little better, I'll take you somewhere like that again," Cas told her. "But right now, Bobby has asked me if it's all right to bring a few of our Angel friends down to see you." Cas smiled inwardly. Bobby had practically begged him. Chuck had been calling Bobby every five minutes since they'd heard the news, asking when he could go to the bunker and see her. "Do you think you might be up to it?" Cas asked her. </p>
<p>Gail shrugged. Why not? What was a few more strangers? Maybe one of them would jog her memory. </p>
<p>"Sure, Cas," she said. "But can I have just one more good kiss, before I have to meet God and a bunch of Angels?" </p>
<p>He smiled. "Of course. We have a lot of making up to do." </p>
<p>"And a lot of making out, too," Gail quipped. She may not remember the specifics of their relationship right now, but she knew what she liked. And Cas's lips on her was a damn good start. A darn good start, she amended instantly. She'd better quit swearing, if she was about to meet God. </p>
<p>"Damn, it's good to see you, Gail," Bobby said. </p>
<p>This was God? Gail thought. But he was...just a guy. An older man, but certainly not ancient. No white robe, no long beard. He did have a beard, but it was neatly trimmed, and he was wearing pants and a shirt. </p>
<p>"Hi - " she started to say, then she asked him, "What do I call you?" </p>
<p>"The Almighty," Dean said, smirking. </p>
<p>"Our Supreme Leader," Sam chipped in, with a grin. </p>
<p>"Stow it, you two," Bobby said, good-naturedly enough. He extended his hand, and Gail took it automatically. "Don't listen to those smartasses," he said, smiling down at her. "'Bobby' is fine." </p>
<p>Gail smiled. This man was kind and down-to-earth, but he also had an air of quiet authority about him. "I'm pleased to meet you," she said to him. </p>
<p>Chuck rushed forward. "Hey, Gail," he said eagerly. "It's so good to have you back." </p>
<p>She released Bobby's hand and looked at Chuck. "And who might you be?" she asked him. </p>
<p>He answered by reaching out and pulling her into a hug. "I'm so glad to see you, Gail," he said, squeezing her tightly. </p>
<p>"Umm, I'm kind of suffocating, here," she said dryly. </p>
<p>Cas stepped forward, but Chuck put a hand up to halt him and released Gail. He put his hands on her shoulders, looking down at her face. "We're BFFs," he told her. </p>
<p>"You and I are?" she asked him curiously. </p>
<p>"Yeah," Chuck replied. "You don't remember anything?" </p>
<p>"No," she answered, but then she said, "Wait a minute. Do you write?" </p>
<p>"He runs Heaven's library," Ethan piped up. He was staring at her. Karen used to watch soap operas, and amnesia was a frequent plot device on those shows, but Ethan never would have believed he'd see it in real life. When Bobby had advised them before that Gail had PTSD, she'd obviously had a few gaps in her memory, but at least she'd known who she was, and she had known all of them, too. This was just too weird. </p>
<p>But Chuck was still looking at Gail. "Yes, I do," he said quietly, in answer to her question. "I've been writing for a while now. I'm Chuck." </p>
<p>"Hi, Chuck," she said, smiling at him. So he liked books, and he liked to write. It didn't surprise her that they had been friends, then. </p>
<p>She was introduced to Ethan, Linda, Kevin, and Becky. So, these were the Angels. They seemed all right to her. Apparently, Angels came in all sizes and age groups, just like people did. Which only made sense, she supposed, seeing as they had once been humans. Then they all started talking at once, and she tried to follow along. They were a select group of Angels, who had been chosen by God, or Bobby, she should say, to come down to Earth for a special project. Bobby had asked them all to say nothing to her about Lucifer yet. Cas had advised him that she was still a little spooked by the whole situation. Maybe give her a couple of days to get used to the concept of Angels who looked and acted like humans, before introducing Demons, and the Devil himself, into the mix. </p>
<p>Becky was looking wide-eyed at Gail. It was inconceivable to Becky that Gail couldn't remember anything about her past. Gail saw Becky's look, and lifted an eyebrow to the young Angel. "Yes?" Gail said, bemused. "Can I help you with something?" </p>
<p>"You don't remember any of us?" Becky asked her. "You don't even remember how you and Cas met?" </p>
<p>"Becky..." Bobby cautioned. </p>
<p>But Gail was curious now. "How DID you and I meet?" she asked Cas. </p>
<p>He smiled. "We met right here," he told her. </p>
<p>"Here?" she echoed. "Not in Heaven?" </p>
<p>Cas thought for a moment. They had to tell her the truth, of course, but how much detail was called for here? Still, it was only natural that she should have questions. </p>
<p>"You weren't an Angel when we met, Gail," he told her. "You were a human." </p>
<p>"Yeah, and we actually met you first," Sam said, indicating himself and Dean. Then he grinned. "So, Cas owes us big time for that." </p>
<p>Cas smiled at the brothers. "I certainly do." </p>
<p>"And me, too," Frank said, smirking. "And even Crowley, I guess." </p>
<p>Cas frowned. "That's not funny, Frank." </p>
<p>"Sure it is," Frank said, shrugging. "Gail would think it was too, if she knew what I was talking about." </p>
<p>"Well, I don't know what anybody's talking about, and I'm starting to get annoyed," Gail said irritably. "It's like I'm coming in during a movie you've all been watching since the beginning." </p>
<p>"I've got an idea," Chuck said, looking at Cas. "The perfect way for Gail to play catch-up." </p>
<p>Cas looked at him, puzzled. </p>
<p>Chuck strode over to the table and opened Sam's laptop. "Ta-da," he said. </p>
<p>Cas's brow remained furrowed for a moment, and then it dawned on him. Chuck was suggesting that she should read the stories that Cas himself had been reading during her absence. Cas thought about that. It actually wasn't a bad idea. Though fictional, those stories depicted fairly accurately what had transpired since the day that Cas and Gail had met. </p>
<p>"It might be easier for her to just read about the whole thing here," Chuck told Cas. "Then, if she's got questions, you guys can answer them for her. Or, any one of us can," he added, indicating the Angels. Then Chuck grimaced. "If you're still speaking to me after Book 2, that is," he said to Gail. "I used to be a really horrible guy." </p>
<p>"Let me show you what Chuck is talking about," Cas said to Gail. He led her by the hand over to the computer. Chuck had already set it up and clicked on the first story. </p>
<p>She leaned down to have a look. "Oh, it's talking about Dean," she remarked. She looked up at Dean. "What's the 'Mark of Cain'?" </p>
<p>He made a face. So much had happened to them since then that he'd almost forgotten about the fact that he'd had that when he first met her. "Read, and it'll tell you what you need to know," he said to her. "But keep in mind, I don't come off so hot in the beginning, either." </p>
<p>"Quite a few things have changed from that night," Cas told her. "But a few others have not. We loved you then, and we love you now. Read them, if you like, and I can fill in the blanks. Or Sam can, or Dean." </p>
<p>"What about Frank?" she asked. "And Crowley, whoever that is?" </p>
<p>"Start reading, and we'll get there," Cas said softly. "Okay?" </p>
<p>"OK, Cas," she said, and she reached up and touched his face, on impulse. His eyes lit up, and he pressed her hand to his cheek with his own hand. "I've missed that," he said. "Promise me you'll do that more often." He leaned down to kiss her softly on the lips. "Only if you'll do THAT more often," she said, smiling. </p>
<p>Becky was entranced. Now, this was the couple she remembered seeing. Gail might not remember a lot of things right now, but you never forgot how it felt to kiss the man you loved. Becky stole a look at Sam. </p>
<p>Bobby looked at the couple. He would normally be making some kind of grumpy comment about them right about now, but he thought he could give them a pass this time. Gail was back, and except for the fact that Lucifer, Metatron and Aurielle were all still on the loose out there, everything was right with the world again. Oh, and the fact that Armageddon might soon be upon them, and the other fact that Bobby wasn't actually God any more. But no one knew about that. He had confessed it to Gail just before Lucifer had shown up, but Gail wouldn't remember that, of course. If she regained her memory, Bobby would probably have to fess up. But until then, things could remain status quo. </p>
<p>"OK, you've seen her. Now, let's go, guys," he said to the Angels. "Gail's got some catching up to do." </p>
<p>"How is Felicia?" Castiel asked him. </p>
<p>"She's good," Bobby told him. "Robbie, too. I'll bring them by soon." Actually, he should probably pop over there himself, Bobby thought. She and Robbie now lived in a small house nearby. Felicia had wanted to move Robbie out of the bunker and raise her son as normally as possible, and Bobby hadn't been able to deny her that. Robbie would be going back to school in the fall, and they were hoping he could make a few friends his own age. But there were a small group of Angels watching over both Robbie and Felicia, and the Angel and her son lived a very short drive from the bunker. Bobby didn't want to take any unnecessary chances, either. </p>
<p>Chuck started to move away from the computer, and Gail caught his arm. "Thanks, Chuck," she said, and he was pleased. She would read the stories, and she would start to remember. Then they would work together on solving the mystery of whoever wrote the damn things in the first place. But, first things first. </p>
<p>"'Later, Gail," Chuck said, smiling. Then he joined Bobby and the other Angels, and they all winked back to Heaven. </p>
<p>She sat down and read for a while, and then she sat back, shaking her head. Cas had been sitting next to her the whole time, watching her. He was concerned as to how she would feel to learn that her and Frank's parents had been killed by Demons, and that later, Frank had been, too. Or he should say, Frank's parents, he amended to himself. That had been a shock. As if she didn't have enough to deal with right now. Sooner or later, she would have to deal with the question of who her parents really were. Right now, she was too busy dealing with the question of who she herself was. </p>
<p>Gail looked at him. "Castiel. That's a nice name. Now I feel kind of bad, calling you 'Cas' this whole time." </p>
<p>He smiled. "Don't. Cas is my Earthly name, and I like it. It's a name of affection." </p>
<p>"Oh, well, in that case..." she said, smiling back. "But I still like Castiel. It sounds noble, and strong." And familiar, she was thinking. Maybe reading this was helping. Cas's full name did sound familiar to her, for some reason. Gail had forgotten that she'd heard it from Gordon, who had slipped, using it in his anger over her not having submitted to him. </p>
<p>He took her hand and gave it a squeeze. What she'd said had pleased him. He'd never thought of it like that before. </p>
<p>"I'm not sure I like my name, though," Gail said, making a face. "Gail. One syllable. Kind of boring." </p>
<p>"I don't agree," he said softly. </p>
<p>"Oh, big surprise," Dean said. He had just come into the room with a couple of beers for himself and Sam, and a huge bowl of potato chips was balanced on his arms. He and Sam had decided to watch a couple of movies and let their Angel friends have some alone time. Dean knew that she would be traumatized by what she was reading, and he also suspected there might be a lot of kissing and hand-holding going on between the Angels. But he and Sam also wanted to be in the vicinity to answer any questions she might have, so they were going to be over in the living room area. Frank and Jody had gone for a drive. Despite Dean's efforts, Gail had seemed fairly cool towards Frank once the Angels had left, and Jody had quietly told Frank that Gail might need some time. </p>
<p>"No?" Gail said in response to Cas, ignoring Dean. She snagged a couple of chips from the bowl as he walked by, though, and then took a sip of her drink. She was just drinking ginger ale now, wanting to remain clear-headed as she read. But now she was thinking she might ask for some more booze. If this was really her story, it was unbelievable. </p>
<p>"No," Cas replied. "Many of the best words are one-syllable words. Like 'home'. And 'love'." </p>
<p>Gail smiled. Dean rolled his eyes, but he was smiling as he proceeded to the living room area. He had to hand it to Cas. Guy was smooth, sometimes. Let the smooching commence. </p>
<p>Gail did lean forward to kiss Cas on the cheek, but then she frowned. "Did all of this stuff really happen, Cas? Did Crowley kill them?" </p>
<p>He frowned, too. "Yes," he said shortly. Castiel had almost forgotten how cruel his Brother had been to Gail's family. Adopted or not, they were the people who had nurtured her and looked after her, and Frank had kept her safe all of those years afterwards, enabling her to grow up to be the beautiful woman she was today. He owed Frank a huge debt of gratitude. </p>
<p>"How is Frank here today, then?" Gail asked him, puzzled. </p>
<p>Sam and Dean looked up. Cas was going to get a lot of brownie points once he answered that question, but they had to get there, first. If she felt a little cool towards Frank right now, how was she going to feel when she read that Crowley had made Frank into a Demon, that Frank had killed Cas when he'd been in that state, and that she herself had killed Frank, right after that? Sam had been planning on making a big feast to celebrate Gail's return, but how would that go if Gail was as angry at Frank as she was bound to be? If Cas had been the sun and the moon to her before, now he was the stars too, and everything else in her world right now. He was the only person that Gail seemed to completely trust. Which was understandable, the brothers supposed. They had given up on her and tried to tell Cas that Sarah wasn't her when their friend had known that it was her all along. Thank God Cas hadn't listened to them. This had been the best screw-up of his life. </p>
<p>"It's a very long story," Cas was saying to her now. "If you choose to continue reading, you'll read a lot of things that will upset you. I'm not so sure this was such a good idea, after all." He was thinking what the brothers had been thinking, and he was also thinking about how Gail would feel when she got to the end and found out that he and Crowley were brothers. </p>
<p>As if reading his mind, Gail then asked him, "That was Crowley you brought to the theatre that one day, wasn't it?" </p>
<p>Cas frowned. "Yes, it was." </p>
<p>"Why?" she inquired. </p>
<p>"It's complicated," he said uncomfortably. "Our association with him has always been so." </p>
<p>"I want to talk to him," Gail said. </p>
<p>He was alarmed. "No. That's out of the question." </p>
<p>"What do you mean, it's out of the question?" she said sharply. "I have some things I want to ask him." </p>
<p>"He's the King of Hell, Gail," Castiel said sternly. "We have had to form alliances with him from time to time, but I should think you would want to stay as far away from him as possible." </p>
<p>"Are you telling me you won't let me talk to him?" Gail said, dismayed. </p>
<p>Cas sighed. "No, of course not. I may not like it, but you're entitled to receive answers to your questions." He looked at Sam and Dean. "You can call Bobby and tell him to bring Crowley here, if that's all right. I would rather he comes to our 'turf'. That is the expression, right?" </p>
<p>Dean shrugged. He wasn't wild about it, but it wasn't exactly without precedent. And Crowley had no powers here in the bunker, anyway. So Dean called Bobby on his cell to extend the invitation. </p>
<p>"How are you, sweetheart?" Crowley asked Gail. He strode over to where she and Castiel stood. Gail had her hand in Cas's, and she squeezed Cas's hand as Crowley got near. </p>
<p>Castiel opened his jacket to show Crowley the Demon blade poking out of his pocket. "That'll be far enough," he told Crowley. </p>
<p>Crowley rolled his eyes. "What could I possibly do to her, Castiel?" He looked at Gail. "I just wanted to look into your eyes," Crowley told her. </p>
<p>"Why?" she said sharply. "Haven't you messed with me and my family enough?" </p>
<p>Crowley smiled faintly. "You asked me to come here, did you not?" </p>
<p>Gail sighed. "Okay. I guess I did. All right. Let's sit down, then." </p>
<p>They all sat around the table, and Crowley was staring at Gail. "So, you don't remember anything about yourself? Anything at all?" he asked her. </p>
<p>Gail looked down at the table, shaking her head. Now that the King of Hell was here, she had no idea what to say to him. Her adoptive parents were dead and gone; did it really matter now why he'd killed them in the first place? </p>
<p>As she was thinking about that, Crowley let out a low whistle. "He really did a number on you, didn't he?" Crowley said quietly. </p>
<p>Castiel's eyes flashed. "Be very careful," he cautioned the King. </p>
<p>"Careful? Careful about what?" Crowley retorted. "It's obvious what happened to her. Her memory has been wiped clean. And there are only two entities that we know of who can do that: God, and Lucifer." </p>
<p>Gail's head snapped up. "Lucifer?!" she said, startled. </p>
<p>Crowley looked at Castiel, then at the others, then at his Brother again. "You didn't tell her?" he said incredulously. </p>
<p>"Tell me what?" Gail exclaimed. She was both angry and alarmed now. "I knew there was something you weren't telling me!" She looked at Cas. "You talked about something being 'out there'. And, God's right here. So Lucifer's out there, and the Devil has given me amnesia for some reason, is that what's happening? Is that why you didn't want me going outside by myself?" </p>
<p>Cas was frowning so hard Crowley was surprised his face wasn't frozen that way. Cas glared at Crowley, then looked at Gail. "I didn't tell you because you were dealing with so much already," he told her. "And yes, he's still out there, and we don't know where. He did wipe your memory; that's why you can't remember who you are, or any of us." </p>
<p>"When did he do that?" she asked, astonished. </p>
<p>"When you and I and Bobby were here one night," Cas said. "He altered my mind, too, so I didn't remember that at the time. But while you were gone, I regained that memory. Bobby?" </p>
<p>Bobby nodded. He was frowning, too. "Yeah. He was here, Gail. You and I were sitting here talking, and Lucifer just came right in here. He walked right down those stairs." </p>
<p>Dean was enraged. This was the first he was hearing about this. Cas had advised them all that Lucifer had screwed with her mind, but he hadn't told them that it had happened here in the bunker. Nor had Bobby. </p>
<p>"What the hell?" he exclaimed. "Lucifer got in here? When? How?" </p>
<p>Cas and Bobby exchanged glances, and then Bobby filled Dean and Sam in on everything that had happened that day, omitting only his confession to Gail about having resigned the position of God. </p>
<p>"So Lucifer can get in here? Spectacular," Dean said sarcastically. He looked at Crowley suspiciously. "Why is that?" he asked the King of Hell. </p>
<p>"How should I know?" Crowley retorted. He was annoyed. Apparently, their Father had seen fit to endow Lucifer with the ability to override all the standard protections. Oh, what Crowley could have done with that ability, all these years. He looked at Dean sulkily. "One of the perks of being an Original, I suppose." </p>
<p>But Castiel's blood was running cold. He had brought Gail here, and she was back in his and their friends' loving company. But now he realized he had also exposed her to danger by bringing her right back into the same situation as she'd been in when Lucifer was here before. What exactly did Lucifer know about what was going on with them now? Did he know that she was back here, trying to regain her memory? And what would Lucifer do if he did? He obviously hadn't been interested in killing Gail; he would have had plenty of chances to do that over the past nine months when she'd been out there as Sarah, vulnerable and alone. No. Lucifer wanted to hurt Castiel, and now that Gail was back with him, he would target her again. </p>
<p>"Can we put some extra protections on this place?" Cas asked Bobby. </p>
<p>"Sorry, Cas. The bunker's got everything there is," Bobby replied. </p>
<p>"Not everything," Crowley interjected. "I could add something to it, if you like." </p>
<p>"You?" Bobby said incredulously. </p>
<p>"You seem to forget, I'm an Original, too," Crowley said slyly. "I can shield the bunker from Lucifer's sight, and if Castiel, Gail, and I combine our powers, we can likely slam the door shut on him, as well." </p>
<p>Castiel opened his mouth to speak, but Crowley anticipated him. "And before you start to shout at me, Castiel, I didn't actually know he had been here, did I? Perhaps if you communicated with me a bit more, I would be able to assist you more. And I'm willing to do it now, but I do have one condition." </p>
<p>"And what is that?" Castiel said stiffly. </p>
<p>Crowley gave him a slight smile. "Fifteen minutes to talk with Gail alone," he said. </p>
<p>"No," Castiel said. "I will not allow that." </p>
<p>"Wait a minute," Gail said. "Let me get this straight. I know I'm incredibly confused right now, but it sounds like he's offering to protect this place from the Devil in exchange for a 15-minute conversation." She looked at Crowley. "If that's really all you want, I'll do it. I wanted to ask you some questions, anyway." </p>
<p>"Then it's settled," Crowley said, smiling at her. </p>
<p>Cas didn't like it. Crowley's eyes were glinting. Why did he want to speak to Gail alone? </p>
<p>Bobby stood. "We'll be in the kitchen," he said to Crowley. "You have your fifteen minutes. And I know you don't have any powers here, but if you try anything with her, I'll wipe every last one of you Demons out." He smiled. "And I'll save you for Cas." He was all bluster, of course. Bobby no longer had Godly powers; even Gail has more powers in her little finger than Bobby had in his whole body now. But Crowley didn't know that, of course. </p>
<p>"Yes, yes," Crowley said impatiently. "I only want to talk to her. Try to explain my side of things." </p>
<p>"Your side?" Sam said incredulously. </p>
<p>"It's OK, guys," Gail said. "I may be an amnesiac, but I'm not gullible, and I'm not stupid. Go ahead. I'll be fine." </p>
<p>Cas didn't want to leave. He didn't know why, but he had a really bad feeling about this. He had now regained all of his memories, except for the Demon period. Lucifer had neatly excised that from all of their memories, as he had promised. But Crowley still knew everything. Cas had no idea about that; he just knew he didn't want Gail conversing alone with his Brother in her vulnerable state. She didn't even know that they were actual brothers, yet. </p>
<p>Gail saw the look on Cas's face, and she took his hand, giving it a squeeze. "It'll be fine, Cas. I'm not afraid of him." </p>
<p>I am, Cas thought. He looked at Crowley, who was smiling smugly. What Cas wouldn't give to wipe that smile right off his face. But they could use the extra protection for the bunker, and if Crowley would help them to provide that, Cas needed to suppress his feelings, at least for the moment. </p>
<p>"All right," Cas said, rising slowly from his chair. "I'll be right down the hall," he said to Gail. "You don't even have to call for me out loud; just think my name and I'll be here instantly. Instantly," he repeated, looking at Crowley. He opened his jacket to show Crowley the Demon blade again. "And I won't take the time to ask any questions." </p>
<p>Wow, Gail thought. This was a whole new side of Cas that she was seeing. It was kind of sexy, but it was a little daunting, too. She reminded herself that she didn't really know him all that well. All she had to go on were her recent memories of Cas. But if Crowley really was the King of Hell, he was obviously a lot more threatening that he appeared to be, with his fine manners and his cultured British accent. </p>
<p>She looked at Cas admiringly as he left the room, and Crowley rolled his eyes. Some things never changed. But he really had wanted to speak with her alone. </p>
<p>Gail looked at him evenly. "So, you killed my parents, and my brother. Go ahead, explain your side of that," she challenged him. </p>
<p>"You are a very special woman," Crowley said to her, "and you were born with special abilities. I saw the potential in you. And I wanted to explore that potential." </p>
<p>Gail laughed shortly. "Well, at least you're honest, I'll give you that. But, whatever made you think that I would be willing to use my alleged powers for YOU?" </p>
<p>Crowley smiled thinly. "Oh, you were going to use them for me. Willingly, or not. But I preferred you to be willing. Unlike Lucifer, I only use force when I have exhausted the other alternatives. Coercion and persuasion are my special powers. Powers my Brother is apparently beginning to acquire," he added, nodding towards the kitchen. </p>
<p>"Your Brother?" she said, puzzled. "Do you mean Castiel? Why would you call him that?" </p>
<p>Crowley's smile widened. This was going to be fun. "Because that's what he is. I'm sure he wasn't in a rush to tell you that. Castiel and I have been brothers since the time of Creation." </p>
<p>Gail was floored. "An Angel and the King of Hell? Brothers?" she said, astonished. </p>
<p>"And Lucifer, too. Don't forget about him," Crowley said cheerfully. "Remember, he was an Angel before God cast him down." </p>
<p>"Bobby's been around since Creation?" </p>
<p>"Oh, Heavens, no," Crowley said with a sly sense of humour. "If you'll pardon the expression. I'm talking about the original God. I didn't kill your family, Gail. In a manner of speaking, I AM your family. You and I, Castiel and Lucifer. And Metatron, who I'm sure you'll be hearing plenty about, if you haven't already. We've all been designated as Originals, and we have special powers. We can do amazing things together. And Castiel is not necessarily the hero you think he is. There have been times when you and I have been closer than you and he, and for good reason." </p>
<p>Gail was open-mouthed now. She had been reading the primer, and Crowley was handing her the University-level textbook. Her head was spinning. "How do I know you're not making all of this up?" she said, astounded. </p>
<p>"Ask your boyfriend," he said, shrugging. "He'll tell you. Well, he'll tell you everything that casts him in a good light, and me in a bad one, anyway. I told you I wanted to present my side. Once you receive a bit more information, you and I will talk again. So before my Brother marches in here and slits my throat, I wanted to apologize to you for having your parents and your brother killed. That was a little heavy-handed; I will admit it now." </p>
<p>"My adoptive parents," Gail blurted out. </p>
<p>"What?" It was Crowley's turn to be startled. She knew? </p>
<p>"Frank told me I was adopted," she said. Why was she telling Crowley this? Gail had no idea. His candour had disarmed her. </p>
<p>Crowley was gobsmacked. Frank knew? "Who are your real parents, then?" he asked her. </p>
<p>"I have no idea," Gail replied. "I haven't even had a chance to think about that. Probably Adolf Hitler and Eva Braun, based on what you're telling me," she added wryly. Sister to the Devil and the King of Hell? And what about Cas? </p>
<p>Crowley couldn't help but smile. This was the Gail he remembered. Both sweet, and sour. Angelic, but with rich ribbons of Demonic flavour. She still had some of his blood in her, he was sure. Perhaps she was a suitable match for his Brother, after all. Or even for Crowley himself. He still hadn't entirely ruled that out. </p>
<p>He took her hand in his and she looked at him, surprised. "You and I have shared a bond too, Gail, just like you've had with Castiel. But I've given you enough information for one day. We'll talk again, soon." </p>
<p>"I wouldn't do that, if I were you," Castiel said. He had just entered the room, and his eyes were blazing at seeing Crowley holding Gail's hand. He drew the Demon knife out of his jacket. "Unless you want to go through the rest of your existence one-handed, I would recommend letting go immediately." </p>
<p>Crowley smirked. "As you wish, Castiel." He let go of Gail's hand. "He can be such a big bully, sometimes," he said to her. </p>
<p>Bobby walked into the library area. "Time's up, Crowley. Now, are you gonna help us?" </p>
<p>"Of course," Crowley said lightly. He rose from his chair, still looking at Gail. "I always keep my promises." </p>
<p>"As do I," Castiel growled. </p>
<p>"All right, Castiel, don't get your briefs in a bunch," Crowley said, putting up his hands in mock surrender. But, being himself, he couldn't help it: "He wears those now, right?" he said, smiling down at Gail. </p>
<p>"That's it. You're done," Dean said, coming around the table to face Crowley. The guy was really starting to get on his nerves. Cas had spent the last twelve minutes or so driving them all crazy in the kitchen, and now they were supposed to put up with the King of Hell in their living room, acting all smug and self-satisfied? Dean didn't think so. </p>
<p>"In a moment," Crowley said to Dean. "Castiel and Gail and I have a date outside, first." He looked at Bobby. "You won't need to be there for it. I'm sure Castiel will be happy to ensure that I behave myself." Truthfully, Crowley didn't especially want Bobby to see what the three of them were about to do. Regardless of how Crowley and Castiel felt about each other, they were God's Originals, along with Gail now, and Bobby was a Johnny-Come-Lately, who was only in the Office to do a job. Crowley was of the opinion that some things should remain private amongst God's Elite. Paying one's dues should have its privileges. </p>
<p>He smirked at Castiel. "Oh, and just so you know, I will have to hold Gail's hand for the protective spell. But I'll be holding yours, too. So you can put the knife away. File it for future reference." </p>
<p>Castiel burned with anger. Gail had a strange look on her face now. What had Crowley said to her? </p>
<p>After the protective spell was done and Crowley had gone, Gail was emotionally exhausted. She begged off the dinner that Sam had offered and went to her room. The brothers had kept the room free for her the whole time that she had been gone, and Sam had changed the sheets on the bed regularly, just on general principles. The nightstand had been empty, but Cas had gone in at some point and replaced the vase, and he had been creating fresh flowers every few days, whenever he'd been at the bunker, in anticipation of her return. Their clothes hung next to each other's in the closet, and Sam had added a bookshelf to the room. Cas had put her favourite book series on it, and he had also bought some movies he remembered that she had liked. </p>
<p>"Here we are," he said, turning on the light. "Our home away from home." He frowned. "Actually, it's our only home, at the moment. We'll have to rectify that, when this is all over." </p>
<p>Gail looked around the room. Her eyes landed on the three framed pictures on the wall. She walked up to them, peering more closely. "Who are these guys?" she asked him. "They sort of look like you and Sam and Dean." </p>
<p>Cas smiled. "We'll get there. But I suspect you've had a few too many revelations for today." </p>
<p>Gail sighed. "You're right about that." She sat on the bed, bouncing on the mattress. "Seems comfortable enough." She kicked off her shoes. "I think I need to try it out." She climbed onto the bed on top of the covers and laid her head on the pillow. </p>
<p>Cas picked up her shoes and put them on the floor at the end of the bed. Then he came back to the side of the bed and looked down at her. "Do you want to talk, or do you need some rest?" he asked her. </p>
<p>Gail closed her eyes. "I probably need some rest, but I want to talk," she told him. </p>
<p>Cas drew up the chair beside the bed and sat down. "What did Crowley say to you?" he said sharply. </p>
<p>Gail opened her eyes. "Wow. You really don't like him, do you? I know, he's the King of Hell, but there's a lot more to it than that, isn't there?" </p>
<p>Cas sighed, sitting back in the chair. "Just tell me what he said to you, please." </p>
<p>She told him, and Castiel's jaw clenched. His Brother had a lot of nerve. Gail was still trying to learn who she was, and Crowley was telling her that she was technically related to Lucifer, Metatron, and to the King of Hell, too. </p>
<p>"Was he lying?" Gail said almost hopefully, rolling onto her side so that she could look at him. </p>
<p>Cas frowned. "No. Not per se. But he put his own spin on it, as he always does. You don't need to worry about any of that, Gail. You'll discover who you truly are, and then you will find out that Crowley is a wretched, pathetic creature, who lies and manipulates people to get what he wants. I don't want you to talk to him anymore." </p>
<p>"I know I don't know who my father is, but I'm pretty sure it's not you," Gail said tartly. </p>
<p>Castiel looked at her sadly. "Please, Gail, I'm only saying that because I don't want him to hurt you again. He's hurt you enough." </p>
<p>Gail thought about that. Actually, according to the story she had been reading, he had, and she was only halfway through the first book. What was the matter with her? She'd been loaded for bear, ready to let Crowley have it for having killed her family, and he had somehow turned the whole thing around on her. </p>
<p>"You're right. I'm sorry, Cas." She patted the bed next to her. "Come here." <br/>Cas considered. He really wanted to, but he still felt like he'd be taking advantage. She wasn't herself, and there was still so much she didn't know. </p>
<p>"Please?" Gail said, smiling at him. </p>
<p>Oh, who was he kidding? He took his shoes off and got on the bed with her, taking her in his arms. </p>
<p>"That's better," Gail said. She snuggled into him for a moment, and he sighed contentedly. He didn't care how long it took for her to regain her memories. He had her back now, and that was all that mattered. </p>
<p>"You were kind of sexy when you were defending me against Crowley," she teased him. </p>
<p>Cas smiled. "You think so?" </p>
<p>"Definitely," she told him softly. She kissed him, and he kissed her back. His arms tightened slightly, but that was all. Gail looked at his face. "Is something wrong, Cas?" </p>
<p>He sighed. "I just don't want to disappoint you, Gail." </p>
<p>"Why, Cas? What do you mean?" </p>
<p>"In a very small way, Crowley was right," he said quietly. "I'm no hero, and I'm certainly not perfect. I've made a lot of mistakes in my existence. You know that; or you did, anyway. You're going to find out a lot of things about me if you keep on reading, and there are a lot of things I've done that I'm not proud of. But I've worked on improving myself, and I think I'm getting better every day." He smiled at her. "You make me better." </p>
<p>That was a sweet thing for him to say, Gail thought. She supposed she'd find out pretty soon. The story as she had read it so far was both intriguing and horrifying, but it was also proving to be very educational. Nobody was telling her much of anything, even Cas, probably for fear that she would crack. But if this was who she really was, and if this was the crazy kind of life she led, Gail wanted to know. When she and Cas and Crowley had stood outside the bunker and held hands, and their red, blue, and golden auras had combined, she had felt a surge of power go through her, and a connection to both men that she had never felt with anyone else. </p>
<p>She was feeling the connection with Cas now, and this one felt less like power and more like love. She kissed him again, opening her mouth to him. Cas's tongue tentatively searched for hers, and he made a sound when he found it that was halfway between a moan and a sigh. </p>
<p>"I want to make love to you," he breathed, when they broke the kiss. </p>
<p>"You don't have to ask, Cas," Gail said to him. She took his hand and kissed it. "I may not remember a lot right now, but I remember Las Vegas, and it was good." </p>
<p>He remembered it too, both times now, and she was right; it had been very good. He knew he had improved, and he also knew he could make her very happy. But Cas's conscience was still bothering him. Until she remembered their relationship, he didn't think it would be right. Otherwise, it would only be physical, from her point of view. Until she could say that she loved him, and really mean it, he didn't think it would be fair to her. </p>
<p>His hand had wandered under her top, though, and now he was caressing her bare skin. She was as soft as he remembered. Now his hand was on her breast, and she was kissing him again, using her tongue. He wanted her so badly. He loved her, and she loved him. He knew she did. She just didn't remember that she did. </p>
<p>Cas took his hand away and kissed her on the forehead. Then he got off the bed, so that he couldn't change his mind. "You'd better get some rest, Gail," he said. "I'll come and check on you later." Then he left the room, turning off the light on his way out. </p>
<p>He sat in the library area, drumming his fingers on the table. Dean came out from the hallway and sat down next to him. "I didn't think we'd be seeing you again for a while," he teased Cas. </p>
<p>Cas frowned. "Don't joke, Dean. Please." </p>
<p>"What's the matter, Cas?" Dean asked his friend. </p>
<p>Cas sighed. "I can't take advantage of her that way, Dean." </p>
<p>Dean shook his head. Cas. He should have figured as much. </p>
<p>Cas looked at him curiously. "You're not going to make fun of me? Call me a name? Say I'm being ridiculous?" </p>
<p>Dean smiled. "All three of those things did occur to me. But you have to do what's right for you, Cas. Or, don't do it, as the case may be. I'm not gonna tell you how to run your relationship. That's between you and Gail." </p>
<p>Cas was surprised. Dean saw his expression and said, "What? A person can grow, you know. You have." </p>
<p>"She's helped me, Dean. You all have. But I just want to be better for her. Do you know what I mean?" Cas asked his friend. </p>
<p>"Believe it or not, I do," Dean replied. He got up. "I think I'll have a beer. You want one?" </p>
<p>Cas smiled faintly. "No thanks, Dean. I think I'll go watch her sleep for a while. If she wakes during the night, she may want to talk some more." He got up and left the room without another word. </p>
<p>Dean crossed to the mini-fridge, shaking his head. If he were Cas, and she woke up, there wouldn't be a whole lot of talking going on. The two of them had been apart for nine months, for God's sake. But, that was Cas. Dean had the feeling that Gail may want to weigh in on the subject before too long, though. He was absolutely sure that she was Gail now, but he'd noticed that she seemed to have a bit of a different quality to her these days. Like Lucifer may have added a bit, when he had done his subtraction. </p>
<p>Lucifer HAD added a bit, and the part of Gail that was still Sarah was doing battle with her, inside her own head. She was hurt and a little pissed off that Cas had left the room so abruptly. And what had he meant by all that stuff he had said about himself? Now she was really confused. He had seemed so different in Las Vegas. But if the Devil was out there somewhere, threatening them all, she guessed that he had to put his serious face on right now. That's what she got for hooking up with an Angel, Gail thought, smiling. And then she fell asleep. </p>
<p>She woke up a few hours later, and when her eyes focused, she saw Cas. He was sitting in the chair by her bedside, and he was reading a book. But as soon as she stirred, he put the book down. </p>
<p>"Are you all right?" he asked her quietly. </p>
<p>"I'm not sure," she replied. "Am I dreaming?" </p>
<p>"No, you're not dreaming," he told her. "Can I get you anything?" </p>
<p>"I'd love a drink of water," Gail said. </p>
<p>"I'll be right back," he said. He got up and left the room, then came back with a glass of water, which he put carefully into her outstretched hands. She had propped herself up on the pillows against the headboard. "This seems familiar," she quipped. </p>
<p>Cas looked at her for a moment, then he smiled thinly. "Is it familiar because you're remembering, or because you were just reading about our first night here?" </p>
<p>Gail put the glass on the nightstand, sighing. "I wish I could say I remembered it, Cas. It sounded like a really sweet moment between us." </p>
<p>"It was," he told her. "That was the moment when I knew that I loved you." </p>
<p>Gail smiled. "Do you say things like that all the time?" </p>
<p>"Pretty much," he said, nodding. "Dean told me not to, but I can't seem to help myself when it comes to you." </p>
<p>"I'm going to have to work very hard on recovering my memories," Gail told him. "There's no way I cannot remember a guy who looks like you and says things like that." </p>
<p>He sat back down in the chair and showed her the book he had been reading. "Do you remember these, by any chance? I had never read them before, but when you told me they were some of your favourites, I began to read them. I still haven't finished, but I'm enjoying them immensely." </p>
<p>She shrugged. She'd heard about the series, of course, but she couldn't recall ever having read one. This was becoming extremely frustrating. Still, she could see an actual benefit. If they were that good, she would have to read them again, and it would be like it was the first time. She told him this now. </p>
<p>"Then let me read to you," Cas said eagerly. He jumped out of the chair and went over to the bookcase, selecting the first book of the series. </p>
<p>She stared at him. This guy was too good to be true. "You don't have to do that, Cas," she said. "I can read, you know." </p>
<p>He looked back at her, and he was relieved to see she was smiling. "I'm sure you can," he said lightly. "But this way, we can share it together. And if you fall asleep, I'll just put a bookmark at the place we left off, and we can resume the next night." He sat down and opened the book to the first page. "Ready?" he asked her. </p>
<p>Gail gave up. She kind of wanted him to read to her, now. It was comforting to her to hear his voice. He read to her for a while, and when she drifted off again, he tucked the blankets under her chin and kissed her softly on the forehead. Then he put a bookmark in the book he'd been reading and watched her sleep for a time. </p>
<p>Gail woke up the next morning, and Cas wasn't there. She still had all of her clothes on from the night before, and sometime during the night, either she or Cas had pulled the blankets all the way up to her chin. She felt very warm now. So she threw the covers off and got up, walking down the hall to the kitchen. The men were sitting around the table; only Jody was missing. </p>
<p>"Good morning," Cas said. He rose from his chair as she approached the table. Sam and Dean smirked at each other. They were never going to be able to break him of that habit. </p>
<p>Gail smiled at Cas, recognizing the gesture from Las Vegas. "Can I take a shower, you guys?" she asked the brothers. </p>
<p>"Yeah, of course," Sam said. "You don't have to ask us that, Gail." </p>
<p>"Our casa, su casa," Dean said. </p>
<p>Jody came into the kitchen, drying her hair with a towel. "Shower's free," she announced. </p>
<p>"Oh, me next, please," Gail said. </p>
<p>Jody looked at her. "Let me guess. These guys didn't show you where the washroom was, or where the towels are." She looked at the men, shaking her head. "Men." She smiled at Gail. "Come on, I'll get you fixed up." </p>
<p>Once Gail had showered and put fresh clothes on, she went back to the kitchen and took a mug out of the cupboard, helping herself to a cup of coffee. Sam got up and walked over to the stove. "Feel like helping me with breakfast?" he asked her. "You and I used to do that a lot." </p>
<p>She shrugged. "Sure, Sam." </p>
<p>He reached over and flipped on the radio, turning it to a pop station that he and Gail had liked, but that Dean couldn't stand. Sure enough, Dean groaned. "Come on, Sammy," he complained. </p>
<p>"You want Gail to get her memory back, don't you?" Sam said, grinning. "You know she used to put this station on in the morning whenever we made breakfast together." </p>
<p>Dean scowled. He suspected Sam had just put that on to torment him. But then he saw Gail smiling, and she started to move her body to the music, so he sighed and decided he could suck it up. </p>
<p>Sam asked Gail to hand him some things from the fridge, and once he had a couple of things cooking, he asked her if she would mind setting the table. She was still dancing to the music, and she opened the cupboards automatically, getting out the plates. Then she went to the utensil drawer and got out the forks and knives, and brought them over to the table. </p>
<p>"Hey, Gail, could I get the big frying pan?" Sam said. "I forgot that you eat, now." </p>
<p>"I don't eat THAT much," she shot back, smiling. But she dutifully went over to the lower cupboard and got it out for him. </p>
<p>Frank, Jody, Dean and Cas were all looking at each other now. Gail was moving around the kitchen easily, going right to the appropriate place for everything that Sam was requesting without having to search for it. Almost as if she knew exactly where everything was. </p>
<p>"Hey, Gail, I'm in a pancake kind of mood this morning," Dean said casually. </p>
<p>"Typical," she said good-naturedly. She went into the cupboard where the pancake batter was kept. "Frank will want to get in on these, and Jody will say she doesn't want any, but she'll end up having two or three," Gail continued. "Better get me the large mixing bowl, Sam. I don't know why you insist on keeping it above the stove, where us non-giants can't reach it." </p>
<p>Sam stopped what he was doing to look at her. </p>
<p>"What?" she said innocently. Then she realized what had been happening. She was remembering! She looked at Sam. "You like to eat fruit in the morning, even though Dean mocks you for doing it." She wheeled around to look at the occupants of the breakfast table. "Frank likes blueberries in his pancakes, but Dean picks them out of his. Jody steals one of Frank's sausages every time, thinking he won't notice. And I used to try to distract Dean, so I could steak an extra slice of bacon from his plate, because Sam never makes enough, cause he thinks it's not healthy." </p>
<p>Cas jumped up from his seat. "Did you just remember all of that?" he asked her in an excited voice. </p>
<p>"Depends," she countered. "Is it true?" </p>
<p>They all assured her that everything she'd said was true, and Cas rushed to her, taking her in his arms. "You're remembering," he told her. "Now, it'll just be a matter of time." </p>
<p>But after that momentary breakthrough, Gail was back to square one. Frank and Dean had been peppering her with questions during breakfast, and she had been able to answer the first few, but then she ran out of answers, and then she started becoming frustrated. Then, when Frank asked her one question too many, she threw her fork down on her plate and ran out of the kitchen. Cas glared at Frank and then followed her. </p>
<p>Gail sat down at the library table, opening Sam's laptop. She clicked on the book she'd been reading as Cas sat down beside her. </p>
<p>"I had it, Cas," she said miserably. "For a second, I had it. But now it's all gone again. I need to read some more of this. Maybe if I do, some other stuff will start to come back." </p>
<p>"Where did you leave off?" he asked her. </p>
<p>She smiled. "The most romantic part. My favourite. When you found me at the church on Christmas Eve and brought me back here. Whoever's writing this has a future writing Harlequin romances, let me tell you. Although I'm disappointed there aren't very many sexy parts in it." </p>
<p>Cas smiled. "Those are yet to come," he told her, taking her hand. He looked at her hand. "You know, there was a time when I thought that just taking your hand like this was the most intimate thing I could ever do with you." Then he looked her in the eyes. "I had no idea." </p>
<p>He was killing her. "Cas..." she started to say, but he was frowning now. He shouldn't have said that to her, not now. "I'm sorry, Gail. I should not be talking like that. Please, keep reading. Then, once you've read everything, if you decide you still want to continue in our relationship, you can let me know." </p>
<p>Gail looked at him, incredulous. Was he nuts? "Why are you saying that, Cas? From what I can see, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me. Why on earth would I ever have to decide anything like that?" </p>
<p>He gave her hand a gentle squeeze. "Keep reading, and then we'll talk." He rose from his chair. "I'll be in the kitchen if you need me." </p>
<p>OK, now she had to read as if her life depended on it. Which it did, in a way. She looked up at him. "Would you mind bringing me another cup of coffee, Cas? I'd better be alert, if I'm going to binge-read all day," she quipped. </p>
<p>He gave her a tight smile. He had the feeling that she would not be in a joking mood pretty soon. </p>
<p>Gail was on a roller coaster of emotions now. She was sure that the author had to be using some sort of dramatic license, but the story was emotional enough, as it was. So, she and Sam and Dean had all died, and Cas had ended up killing Crowley. Yet none of them were actually dead now, nor was her brother Frank. She was starting to get an idea of how things worked in their screwy world. But, in a strange way, everything also made sense. She and the Winchesters had been given a do-over, probably because they were taken too soon. The brothers had simply chosen to go back to the lives they had been living before the explosion. But she had chosen to be an Angel and to be with Cas, knowing that they could still be with Sam and Dean on Earth. Her parents and Frank were all dead anyway, so the Winchesters and Cas had been the only family she had left. And, on the other side of the spectrum, Crowley, aka Fergus, was the only family that Rowena had had, and although she was a horrible woman, Rowena had in a moment of weakness brought her only son back from the dead. </p>
<p>It had been a shock to find out that Gail herself had been so easily led to the dark side by Crowley. True, he had abducted her to begin with, and he had forced his own blood into her system. But if the author was to be believed, she had killed for him, and would probably have kept on doing so if it had not been for the pull she had felt towards Castiel. She had hated Crowley with a passion at that point, but then she had felt a bit of sympathy for him towards the end of the book, when she had seen Fergus's wretched childhood. But Castiel had had it rough too. The final insult had been when Gail had learned that Crowley had actually been Cain, and Castiel had been his brother, Abel. Crowley had murdered Castiel then. Humanity's first murder. And apparently, that had set Crowley on the path. Now Gail didn't feel sorry for him at all. Crowley had chosen to pick up that knife and use it, hadn't he? He had chosen which way to go at that moment, and as far as she was concerned, he deserved everything bad that had happened to him after that. And God had eventually rewarded Castiel by raising him up high in Heaven. Her admiration for Cas grew. She realized she did love him, and what was more, she respected him, too. Hell, maybe she even revered him. Which begged the question: What the hell was wrong with him, then? She couldn't see anything herself, but there was obviously something he wasn't telling her. Check that; something he didn't want to tell her, was more like it. She couldn't believe that a guy who was as brave as he had been in this story would be afraid to tell her anything, but she knew that something was up here. </p>
<p>Gail closed the computer. As curious as she was to begin Book 2, she was starting to feel a little fed up. She had been sitting here reading for several hours now, at the very least. And in all that time, no one had approached her to talk to her, or even to ask her how she was doing. She supposed they were giving her her space. Probably Castiel had told them all to leave her alone; she was starting to get a sense of how protective he felt towards her. But she was getting tired of being passive. It was time to take matters into her own hands. </p>
<p>But how was she going to find out what she needed to know? Crowley would probably tell her in a heartbeat; he had seemed all too eager to talk trash about Cas. But Crowley couldn't be trusted, and he wasn't exactly a very welcome guest here at the bunker. She needed to make a plan. </p>
<p>Gail walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge. No one was in the room. By now, she knew that the bunker had many rooms, and a garage full of cars, and they also had that area outside, where she and Dean had been sitting yesterday. They must all be off somewhere, doing their own things. Well then, she would do hers. </p>
<p>There was a pitcher of iced tea in the fridge. She got a glass out of the cupboard and poured herself a drink, then she went back through the library area and up the stairs, settling herself on a lounge chair outside. It was a hot day, but she was sitting in the shade, and it was quiet out there. She took a sip of her drink and started to think. </p>
<p>Cas was in the weapons room with Frank and Dean. Sam had gone for a drive, and Jody had gone with him. Cas had looked up to see Gail on her way to the kitchen, and he had seen her come back down the hallway with a cold drink in her hand. She hadn't looked their way. She had looked like she was deep in thought. He wondered how far she had gotten in her reading, and what she was thinking now. Perhaps he should go out there and check on her. </p>
<p>But when he walked out to the library area, the computer was closed, and she wasn't there. </p>
<p>His first reaction was panic. Where had she gone? Didn't she realize how dangerous it was to leave the protections of the bunker? He had wanted to give her a bit of space, and he had requested that everyone else do the same. But he realized now that he should have stayed with her. </p>
<p>Wait a minute: she'd had a cold drink in her hand. She had probably just gone outside, then. </p>
<p>He popped outside and Gail jumped, startled. The iced tea sloshed out of her glass and spilled all over her. </p>
<p>"Cas!" she chided him. "You scared me to death!" </p>
<p>He cursed himself. Of course; she wouldn't be used to him doing that. He should have just walked up the stairs and used the door. "I'm sorry, Gail. But you have to realize that the last time you were gone from a room, I didn't see you again for nine months," he told her. Sam had a towel draped over the back of one of the lawn chairs and Cas grabbed it, leaning down to dab the liquid from her clothing. </p>
<p>Gail took the towel from him. "I can do it, Cas. You're treating me like a 2-year-old," she said sharply. He looked chastened, and she wondered why she was speaking to him so harshly. He had startled her, and made her spill her drink, but so what? Maybe she was mad because he was the one person she trusted and believed in right now, and he wouldn't tell her what he was so afraid of her finding out. </p>
<p>"I'm sorry, Gail," he said again, sitting down opposite her. "I just get so scared for you. Lucifer is out there, and even if he can't come into the bunker any more, he could have been standing right here, waiting for someone to come out." </p>
<p>Despite the hot day, Gail got a chill. Cas was right. He was only trying to keep her safe, just as he had apparently been doing from the very beginning of their relationship. </p>
<p>"I'm the one who owes you an apology, Cas," she said to him. "If I want you not to treat me like a child, I guess I should stop acting like one." </p>
<p>Still, the part of her that was Sarah was getting cabin fever. But the way that Cas was looking at her right now, she knew he would freak out if she even suggested leaving the bunker. It was time for Plan B. </p>
<p>"It's too hot out here," she said, and she got up from her chair and went back to the door, going back inside. He followed, of course. </p>
<p>Dean was standing in the library area. "Everything OK?" he asked them. </p>
<p>"Yeah," Gail said. "I was just getting a little restless, so I went outside, but it's too hot. I don't suppose you know of a nice, air-conditioned bar around here, do you?" </p>
<p>Dean brightened. "Are you kidding? I know a few. Though I don't know how 'nice' they are. I mean, there won't be any tablecloths, or anything. You'd probably be lucky if you end up with a clean glass. But they have pool tables, and the music on the jukebox is good." He smirked. "Only classic rock, though." </p>
<p>"It's a date," Gail said to him. "You'll have to pay for me, though. Angels don't have any money." </p>
<p>"OK," he said. "Come on, Cas. I'll go get Frank, and I'll meet you guys in the garage." </p>
<p>"No," Gail said. "I meant just you and me." </p>
<p>He looked at her. "What? Why?" </p>
<p>"Because," she said. "I want to talk to you." </p>
<p>Dean looked at Cas uncertainly. Cas frowned, but then he shrugged. If she wouldn't talk to Cas, he didn't mind her talking to Dean. Maybe she didn't want to talk TO Cas because she wanted to talk ABOUT Cas. He hadn't forgotten that it was Dean who she'd talked to when she'd left Cas in Dallas, after he had confessed his past transgressions to her. And it was Dean who had persuaded her to come back. </p>
<p>"Have fun," Cas said as casually as he could. Dean raised an eyebrow to him, and Cas gave him a slight nod. He would have to be OK with it. </p>
<p>Dean bought Gail a rye and ginger ale. "Come on. I'll teach you how to shoot stick," he told her. She looked at him blankly. "How to shoot pool," he said, jerking his head towards the pool table. </p>
<p>Oh. Sure, why not? she thought. He'd just brought over their second round, and she hadn't worked up the courage to open up to him yet. But he was waiting her out, not pushing her, and she appreciated that. In the meantime, she could learn how to play pool. She didn't think she'd ever played before. </p>
<p>But Gail had seen other people playing pool it, and it had looked easy. Dean went first, showing her how to hold the cue and line up the shot. But she was having trouble. She couldn't quite hold her hands the way he seemed to want her to, and she wasn't having much success lining up her shots, either. </p>
<p>"The table's too long," she complained. </p>
<p>Dean shook his head. "It's normal size." Then he smirked. "It's those little T-Rex arms you've got. No wonder you can't reach across the table." </p>
<p>Gail stuck her tongue out at him, but she had to admit that he was kind of right; her arms were too short to reach, for the most part. But she kept on trying. "Boy, Sam must win at this game all the time," she groused. "He's got the wing span of a pterodactyl." </p>
<p>"Why does that word start with a 'p', anyway?" Dean mused aloud. "I've always wondered that." </p>
<p>"I don't know," Gail replied. </p>
<p>Then, in unison, they said: "Sam would." </p>
<p>Dean laughed. "Jinx. You owe me a beer." </p>
<p>She smiled. "Fine. But you're paying. You know I'm broke." She laid her cue down on the pool table. "Sorry, but I have to give up. I'm not really enjoying it, and I'm not very good at it. You can bring Sam, or someone else who's fun, next time." </p>
<p>Gail walked back to their table and Dean followed. "You're fun, Gail," he told her. "You're just...different. Hey, Sam's not always fun, either. And you are a girl. And an Angel." </p>
<p>She lifted an eyebrow to him. "So? What's that mean? Do you mean that's a bad thing?" she asked. </p>
<p>"Well, you can only have so much fun with an Angel," Dean said, smirking. </p>
<p>"Oh, yeah?" she retorted. "And why is that?" </p>
<p>"Because most of them are dicks," Dean shot back. He went to the bar to get them another round. Then when he came back and they sat there sipping their drinks, Gail said, "Is Cas a dick, Dean?" </p>
<p>He looked at her. "Truthfully? Yeah, he is, sometimes. But they all are, pretty much." </p>
<p>"What about Bobby?" she persisted. </p>
<p>Dean looked really uncomfortable now. "OK, maybe not him," he replied, taking another gulp of beer. "I would never dare say that to his face, anyway." </p>
<p>As Gail tried to decide what to say next, contemplating whether she wanted to ask Dean if she was a dick, too, he went on. "I guess there are a few of them that are OK," he added grudgingly. Then he looked in her eyes. "But Lucifer is the biggest dick of them all, Gail, and he's no joke. Cas is right to be worried about you. If anything happened to you, it would kill him. Literally. When you were gone, I thought he was gonna commit hari-kari. That's why you can't go out by yourself right now. Not because we're holding you prisoner, or anything, if that's what you've been thinking." </p>
<p>"No, I wasn't thinking that," Gail told him, "but I keep feeling like he's going to tell me that I'm grounded, or something. He's treating me like a child, Dean. And he won't even talk honestly to me." </p>
<p>"So that's why we're here on a date," Dean said, leaning back in his chair. "You want to pump me for information." </p>
<p>"Are you pump-able?" she quipped, taking another sip of her drink. </p>
<p>"What if I wasn't?" he answered cautiously. </p>
<p>"Then I'll try to get the information elsewhere," she countered in a cool tone. </p>
<p>"Look, Gail, I know you're an Angel, but I also know you don't really know who you are right now. So I'll give you a break," Dean said, frowning. "But, let me tell you something: not too many things piss me off more than the way that Angels talk. All evasive and mysterious. If I ask you a question, just answer the question, will you?" </p>
<p>"I will if you will," she shot back. "Are you going to answer my questions or aren't you, Dean?" </p>
<p>He eyed her suspiciously. "Depends on what you want to ask me." </p>
<p>"Now who's talking like an Angel?" she pointed out. </p>
<p>Dean sighed. "OK, Gail, OK. Ask." </p>
<p>Gail leaned forward in her chair. "I read the part about how you and me and Sam came back from the dead, and believe it or not, I can accept that as the truth. The same goes with Rowena bringing Crowley back. But how did Frank come back, then?" </p>
<p>Dean was actually glad she had asked him that question. She seemed like she was fairly pissed off at Cas right now, and Dean guessed he could understand that, in a way. He and Sam had been frustrated and angry in the past when Cas had shut them out, and it looked like he was doing that to Gail now. Maybe Dean would have to have a talk with Cas when he and Gail got back. Cas was clearly going overboard in his eagerness to spare Gail any further trauma. </p>
<p>Then again, maybe Dean wouldn't have to intervene; if he could give Gail a few answers now, she might be mollified. And he knew that she would be particularly happy with this one. He grinned. "Cas brought him back," he said in answer to her question. </p>
<p>Her eyes widened. "What? He can do that?" </p>
<p>Dean put his hands up. "Whoa. Not exactly. It was a special kind of thing. But he did that for YOU, Gail." He smiled. "Sammy usually just gives me gift cards. But I guess a six-foot, junk food-eating, bad-joke-telling human is OK too." </p>
<p>Gail was astounded. Dean had deliberately left a lot out of the story, figuring she'd read about the bad stuff soon enough. But maybe she'd feel a lot more disposed to cut Cas a break, by then. Frank, too. </p>
<p>"Maybe we'd better get back," Dean said, draining his beer. "If we're out much longer, Cas will probably have a cow. Or, he'll show up here." He lowered his voice. "If Lucifer came here, we could probably give him a run for his money right now. I've seen at least four other Hunters in here tonight. That's why I brought you to this particular spot. But there's no sense in taking any chances. Cas says Lucifer's the most powerful Alpha there is, and if anything happened to you on my watch, Cas would kill me. Hell, he wouldn't have to; I'd likely have to kill myself. I'm just so damn glad you're back, Gail." He stood from the table and Gail stood, too. She didn't mind leaving; she felt like there were a few people she needed to talk honestly to, now. Starting with this one. </p>
<p>When they got into the Impala, Gail turned to Dean and said, "You know what? I really love you, Dean." </p>
<p>He gave her a half-smirk. "You wanna break it to Cas, or should I?" </p>
<p>Gail smiled. "You know what I mean." </p>
<p>Dean put the keys in the ignition. "Yeah, I do, Gail. And I love you, too. We all do. Cas, most of all. You've gotta cut him some slack, Gail. He's doing the best he can. He's not very experienced with this kind of stuff." </p>
<p>"He told me that, but I didn't believe him," Gail said. "He was so different in Las Vegas, Dean. Now he's acting like he's got a stick up his butt, or something." She laughed, then covered her mouth with one hand. </p>
<p>Dean started the engine and looked sideways at Gail. His lips were twitching furiously. He was trying to be serious now, but she was making it hard. If she only knew how many times he had told Cas that same thing. </p>
<p>"I'll talk to him, if you want," Dean said, pulling the car out of the parking lot. "I'll tell him to lighten up." </p>
<p>Gail nodded. As usual, she felt better having talked to Dean. Well, it felt usual, at least. She had the feeling that they'd done this before, and not only yesterday and today, either. But now she wanted to talk to a few other people, and she wanted to go back online and read about Frank's return into their lives. She had the feeling it was going to be one hell of a story. </p>
<p>Cas was frantic when he heard the car pull into the garage, and Sam breathed a sigh of relief. He and Jody and Frank were in the kitchen with Cas, and the humans were all having a beer. Sam had been debating whether or not to wait for them, or to go ahead and start dinner. Cas had been doing that pacing thing he did, driving them all crazy. "I should not have let them go out alone," he'd been saying to Sam. "Dean has no idea what Lucifer is capable of. Neither of them do." </p>
<p>"That's why I took her to a Hunter bar," Dean said, as he and Gail entered the kitchen from the garage. Dean went straight to the fridge for another beer. </p>
<p>"I'd get in on that," Frank said, and Dean tossed him one. Then Dean opened his beer and plunked himself down at the table. Frank looked at Gail. Cas's panic had been contagious, and Frank was glad to see the both of them back, safe and sound. </p>
<p>"I don't care," Cas insisted to Dean. "Hunters are merely humans. They wouldn't be able to touch him. Nor could you, Dean. From now on, I'll be accompanying you on any excursions." </p>
<p>Gail looked at Dean, making a face. She was still very ambivalent about the way that Cas was acting. "You're very sweet to be concerned, but we're fine, as you can see," she said, putting her hand on Cas's arm. "We actually had a pretty good time. Although I stink at playing pool." </p>
<p>"I could have told you that," Frank said to her. "It's those little T-Rex arms." He and Dean high-fived, and Sam laughed. </p>
<p>But Castiel wasn't amused. None of them seemed to understand the danger that Lucifer represented. He pulled Gail in for a hug. "Thank God you're all right," he said into her hair. </p>
<p>She hugged him back. She guessed it hadn't really been very nice to worry him this much. "OK, Cas," Gail said. "I promise I won't go out without you for a while." </p>
<p>He smiled with relief. "I know it's been hard for you to stay cooped up like this. You were always very independent. We'll just have to think of some ways to keep you occupied." </p>
<p>Gail smiled, looking him in the eyes. She could think of one thing he could do that would keep her occupied. But apparently, that was going to be out of the question, at least, for the moment. She sighed. "I guess I'll go back to reading some more, then. Now that I've finished the first book, I'm dying to find out what happens next." </p>
<p>Cas's heart sank. He didn't think she would feel that way soon. But she had a right to know about her past. </p>
<p>"I was about to start supper," Sam said. </p>
<p>"Do you want some help with that?" Gail asked him. </p>
<p>Cas swallowed. "No, Gail, you go on and read for a bit. I'll help Sam." </p>
<p>Dean, Frank and Jody exchanged glances at that, smiling. This, they had to see. Maybe they could get him to put on a frilly apron. </p>
<p>Cas gave Gail a kiss on the cheek, and she left the kitchen. </p>
<p>By the time supper was ready, Gail had reached the point where Cas had stabbed her in the training room. Her head was spinning again. Chuck had claimed he was her best friend in Heaven now, but from what she was reading now, he was a horrible person. How could she be best friends with a guy who hated Cas that much? And how about Metatron, and Aurielle? No wonder Dean said that Angels were dicks! It made total sense to her that she had received fight training, though. Gail wondered if she had at least retained any sense memories when it came to the self-defense training she'd had. Maybe if she knew how to fight, Cas wouldn't be quite so frantic every time she even moved. </p>
<p>Frank had come to tell her that supper was ready, and she asked him about that. </p>
<p>"I don't know," he told her as they walked to the kitchen. "But maybe we should find out. Tell you what: I'll take you to the training room after supper, and we'll see." </p>
<p>Cas brightened when they told him about it. "That's an excellent idea," he said. "If we have to, we can teach you all over again," he said to Gail. </p>
<p>Dean groaned. "I think this time, we'll make Frank do it," he complained. </p>
<p>"I don't mind," Frank said, shrugging. "If you lazy-asses don't want to do it, I'll get Jody to help me. Or Cas." </p>
<p>"Maybe just you and Jody," Gail said with a half-smile. "After what I just read, I'm a little scared of Cas." </p>
<p>Cas frowned. He had a pretty good idea of what she was talking about. That day had been a long time ago now, but he had never forgotten it. "I deeply regret that to this day, like so many other things," he told her. "I hope you know that I would never hurt you." He took her hand and gave it a squeeze. </p>
<p>He looked so distressed that she felt badly now. Gail knew he wouldn't hurt her in a million years; she'd just been joking. But that was obviously a really sore spot for him, and she shouldn't have said it. "I'm sorry, Cas. I was only teasing," she said, touching his face. "I didn't mean to hurt your feelings." </p>
<p>"Feel free to hurt Frank, though," Dean said around a mouthful of food, "especially if he keeps hogging the mashed potatoes." </p>
<p>"Don't you ever swallow before you talk?" Gail asked him, shaking her head. "I have never known you to talk at the dinner table without food in your mouth." Suddenly, she could picture herself sitting around this table with Sam and Dean and Cas very clearly, and she knew they had spent some happy times here. </p>
<p>"I remember eating dinner here before," Gail said to them all, smiling. "And I remember being happy." </p>
<p>"That's great, Gail," Sam said, rising to take his plate to the sink. </p>
<p>"Yeah, it's great," Frank agreed. Then he grinned. "And now, to celebrate, let's go. I'm looking forward to kicking your ass." </p>
<p>But Frank was finding that more difficult than he'd thought. It seemed that she did have some sense memories, after all. </p>
<p>"What do you do if I do this?" he asked, grabbing her from behind and putting a fake knife to her throat. </p>
<p>Gail reached up and squeezed the pressure point on his wrist, making him drop it. Then she flipped him over onto the mat, judo-style. </p>
<p>"Fine," Frank said, bouncing up from the mat and shaking his wrist. "Than what do you do if I do - this?" He grabbed the fake knife off the mat and went for her flank. </p>
<p>"This," she said, sidestepping him and touching her own fake knife to his side. "Or this," she said, putting the knife to his neck. </p>
<p>"Not bad," Frank said. "OK, how about if I just grab you like this, then?" He seized her by the arms and held on tight. Gail tried to squirm out of his grasp, but he was too strong. </p>
<p>"Crap," she said, and Frank started to grin. "I guess I'll just have to do this, then," she said cheerfully, and she kneed him in the groin. She'd thought she'd pulled up short, not wanting to hurt him, but Frank went down on his knees anyway, groaning. </p>
<p>Sam clapped, and Dean put his fingers in his mouth and whistled. "You learn well, young grasshopper," Dean quipped, and Sam looked at him. "What? Kung Fu. Classic TV," Dean said. </p>
<p>"Sorry, Frank. Did that hurt?" Gail said innocently. </p>
<p>"Are you sure you don't remember some of the things I used to do to you?" Frank moaned. "That felt more like revenge to me." </p>
<p>Jody approached Frank, putting her hand on his shoulder. "Are you OK, Frank?" </p>
<p>"Yeah," he told her, slowly rising from the mat. "Robbie's kicked me harder than that." </p>
<p>"Good," Jody smiled. "Now I can tease you mercilessly. Good job, Gail." She leaned in closer to speak to Frank's sister. "Just do me a favour, and leave the jewels alone for a while. It's not only him you're hurting, if you catch my drift." </p>
<p>"Come on, Jodes. TMI," Sam said, grinning. </p>
<p>"What, Sam? We're all grownups here," Jody said. She put her arm around Frank's waist and said, "Let's go put some ice on that. And then we'll put some ice in a glass and pour some alcohol in it." She led Frank out of the room. </p>
<p>Gail looked at the men sheepishly. "I hope he's going to be OK." </p>
<p>Sam and Dean looked at each other. "He'll be fine," Dean said. "Looks like you haven't forgotten everything, though." He looked at Cas. "Feel better now?" </p>
<p>Cas said he did, but he was lying. Although he was glad to see that Gail seemed to be regaining some memories and that she still had her rudimentary self-defense skills, he realized that she would need much more than that to hold her own against any otherworldly being. They had been going about this all wrong. </p>
<p>He looked at Gail. As much as he hated to admit it, she needed an advanced form of education, one he could not provide. "I need to speak with Gail alone for a moment," he told the brothers. </p>
<p>They exchanged glances. They were being dismissed. Dean rolled his eyes. He was really going to have to have a chat with their Angel friend, if he didn't lighten up very soon. </p>
<p>When the brothers left the room, Castiel took Gail by the hand. "You need to be trained properly," he told her. "And unfortunately, there is only one person who can instruct you properly. I need to take you to Crowley." </p>
<p>"What?!" she exclaimed. </p>
<p>Cas frowned. "I don't like it any more than you do, Gail. But if we hope to stand against Lucifer, we'll have to align ourselves with Crowley. I promise I will try my best not to put you in harm's way, but seeing as you are an Original too, you'll need to learn the full extent of your powers." </p>
<p>"Why can't you just teach me, then?" she asked him, agitated. </p>
<p>His frown deepened. "Because I know next to nothing about the subject. Apparently, our Father felt that I did not need to be enlightened," he added bitterly. </p>
<p>Gail didn't know what to say to that. She only knew that she felt way out of her depth here. She was just trying to get used to who she was, and her situation here in the bunker with these people, and now Cas was telling her that they had to get together with the King of Hell to defeat the Devil. She had been reading a series of novels about her life, and now it seemed like she had gone from one genre to another in a matter of a couple of minutes. Well, if that was the way that it had to be, she wanted to try to visit a third genre first, in case it was the last chance she got. </p>
<p>"Can you give me a day, Cas?" she asked him softly. </p>
<p>"A day?" he repeated. "A day to do what?" </p>
<p>"To spend with Cas," she answered. "Before I have to hang around with Crowley and Castiel, I'd like a day with Cas, first." </p>
<p>Cas thought about that. He would really like that, too. They hadn't spent any appreciable alone time together since he'd brought her back to the bunker. Well, except for when he'd read to her at night, and watched her sleeping, but that wasn't the same thing. Maybe if they spent one whole day together, just reconnecting with one another, he could help her to regain some more of her memories. </p>
<p>"It's a date," he told her. "We'll go first thing in the morning." </p>
<p>"Don't you know where I'd like to go?" she asked him lightly. Truthfully, she didn't really care that much, as long as they were together. But she was hoping his answer would be the same as hers. </p>
<p>"I already do," Cas said. "We'll pop over to Las Vegas first thing tomorrow morning." </p>
<p>Gail woke up early in the morning, excited to begin their day. Cas was sitting by her bedside as usual, and he rose as soon as she stirred. "Are you ready to go" he said, and she looked at the clock on the nightstand. "Cas, it's dawn," she said sleepily. </p>
<p>"I'm sorry," he said, sitting back down. "Did you want to sleep some more?" </p>
<p>"No!" she said, throwing back the covers and jumping out of bed. She sat on his lap. "In fact, I wish you'd woken me up sooner." She kissed him on the mouth, and he dropped the book he'd been holding and wrapped his arms around her. </p>
<p>"Anything you want to do today, we'll do," Cas told her softly. "It's your day, today." </p>
<p>"No, it's OUR day," she told him. She got up and hurried over to the closet, throwing a few items of clothing into a bag. Then she turned back to him. "Ready?" she said. </p>
<p>Cas rose from his chair, smiling. It was cute that she was so excited. He was glad she'd had this idea. One day, for just the two of them, before they had to turn into warrior Angels. </p>
<p>He walked over to her and took her hand. "Ready," he said. </p>
<p>"Don't you need to pack anything?" she asked him. "I know we're only going for one day, but - " </p>
<p>"I already did," Cas told her. "My clothes are already in our hotel room." </p>
<p>She opened her mouth, then closed it, then said, "Should we leave these guys a note, in case they're worried?" </p>
<p>"That's already taken care of, too," he said, smiling again. "I'm excited about our day also, and remember, I don't sleep." </p>
<p>Gail shook her head slowly, smiling. Cas was really something. </p>
<p>He winked her directly into their hotel room. "I used the 'two-finger system' to check us in last night, while you were sleeping," he told her. </p>
<p>"The two - " she started to say, and then it dawned on her. "Wait a minute! The two-finger system! I remember that!" She extended her fingers towards his forehead, and he laughed, pleased that she remembered. </p>
<p>"Today's the day I'm going to get my memories back," Gail said, dropping her bag on the floor. "I can feel it." </p>
<p>"I hope so, Gail," he replied, "but please, don't put pressure on yourself." </p>
<p>"Pressure? No pressure, just fun," she said airily. She grabbed the remote and handed it to him. "Here. You watch a bit of TV. I'll hop in the shower, and then we'll go down to breakfast." </p>
<p>Cas sat down on the bed and put on the TV. He'd kind of missed TV, actually, but he had been enjoying reading to Gail, too. When all of this madness was over and he and Gail got their new apartment, they would definitely have to have a TV in the bedroom, but Cas thought he might arrange to have a comfortable reading chair in the living room, as well. He could read to her from there. </p>
<p>Cas began to flip channels as he heard the water go on for the shower. He flashed back to the time they were here last. He had been the one who'd been in the shower, and she had disappeared from their room. How terrified he had been then, fearing the worst. But now she was back, and he was determined to give her the best day he possibly could, to make up in part for the one that they had lost. </p>
<p>He continued to channel surf, and there was Reverend Devlin, still preaching about Armageddon. Cas was puzzled. It was dawn in Las Vegas, which meant that it would be early in Los Angeles, as well. But it was a live show, wasn't it? What was it doing on this early? </p>
<p>Then they went to a commercial break, and there was an announcement that the show had been previously taped. Curious. In any event, Cas supposed it didn't matter to them anymore. Gail no longer worked for the man, and Cas didn't really care what Devlin did. As far as Cas was concerned, the "Reverend" was extremely lucky to still be alive. Not only because the sniper's bullets had missed him, but because Cas had very nearly popped back over to the studio and killed the man himself. Gail had been vague about it, perhaps deliberately so, but Cas had a pretty good idea of why she had teleported out of that bedroom in such a rush. But ultimately, Cas had been so happy just to have her back that he had let it go. </p>
<p>Still, he glared at the false prophet when he came back on the screen. He was still the same, still spouting off about Armageddon, making appeals for donations, and saying outrageous things to get attention. Cas's hands curled into fists. The man didn't know how close he had come. But perhaps Castiel shouldn't be watching this right now. He was beginning to lose his temper, when he should be thinking about showing Gail a good time. And if she came out from the shower and saw Reverend Devlin, it would surely upset her. </p>
<p>"I know I've been talking about Armageddon for a while now but believe me when I say we are on the threshold now, folks," the Rev was saying. "But not everybody wants to hear that. That's why my show's no longer being broadcast live. Somebody tried to assassinate me a couple of days ago. Fortunately, the idiot missed. But I've tried to institute a few extra security measures, because of it. So if you see me on the street, feel free to say hi, but you'd better not grab me; otherwise, my bodyguard might have to step in. And you wouldn't like that. You wouldn't like that at all." </p>
<p>Cas snorted in derision. Bodyguard, indeed. Some musclebound, thick-headed human, no doubt. If Cas wanted Devlin, no bodyguard would be able to stop him, that was for sure. But the water had turned off now, and Gail would be coming out at any moment. So he turned off the TV and waited for her. </p>
<p>Lucifer turned his head towards the side of the stage. He couldn't help but smirk when he looked at the bodyguard that Mark had procured for him. He had been enraged when Gail had popped out from underneath him, and when she had not come into work the next day, he had known. Castiel had her back. </p>
<p>So he had thrown a few things around his office and had his temper tantrum, and then he had begun to think. So she was gone, back into the loving arms of his Brother. Or, maybe not into his loving arms right away; the poor thing would still think she was Sarah, after all. But Lucifer could just bet that that wouldn't stop her from climbing into bed with Cas, anyway. </p>
<p>So what? His original plan had been to wreak havoc on the Earth, anyway. Lucifer had let himself get sidetracked by a woman. It happened. But he was better than that. </p>
<p>But that pentagram bullet? That had thrown him. Who the hell could that have been? It wasn't Castiel. That wasn't his Brother's style. Castiel liked to commit murder face-to-face, with his own two hands. Besides, he had been on the street, and the shots had come from up above. Crowley, maybe? But Lucifer couldn't believe that, either. The King of Hell was much more subtle, his actions were much more insidious than that, and he seldom dirtied his own hands. Metatron? He was the wild card in the deck, and Lucifer had sent out the eye, but of course, Metatron had shielded himself. Only he and Lucifer had been endowed with the power to do that solo, whereas Castiel and Gail would need another Original's help to do it. Lucifer had done it to Gail when she had been Sarah, and Crowley had obviously helped Castiel in that regard, as Lucifer could no longer see either one of them. So now, all the Originals were warded from each other, and Lucifer no longer had the advantage of being able to look into the bunker. Which led to the inevitable conclusion that Lucifer would no longer be able to enter the bunker, either. Crowley had obviously aligned himself with the Angels and had provided them with the extra protection that would be required to accomplish that. Lucifer knew that Bobby couldn't have done it. Only Lucifer and Gail had been at the bunker at that moment to hear Bobby's confession that he was no longer God. So that particular piece of information might be Lucifer's ace in the hole. If they were to try to sic Bobby on him, Lucifer could squash him like a bug. </p>
<p>But the fact that Metatron was out there somewhere, and he was undetectable, concerned Lucifer. Where was he, and what was he doing? That was one reason that Lucifer had asked Mark to provide him with a bodyguard. But that bodyguard would have to be an otherworldly being, Lucifer had advised, capable of holding his own against another one. And having experience as a ruthless, cold-blooded killer would move his application right to the top of the stack. </p>
<p>Mark could think of one man who was more than qualified, given that job description, and the applicant came with a bonus asset that Mark was sure his boss would appreciate: he hated Castiel. As Mark was one of the original writers of the Gospels, he was one of the chosen few who were privy to certain details about the way that certain things worked. So he gathered together a handful of their more intelligent Demon security staff members and gave them their assignment: use the Portal, go to Purgatory, and don't come back without him. </p>
<p>So they had come back just a day later, and a very motivated former Angel accompanied the Demons who had survived. And after an extremely brief interview, Lucifer had hired Jason on the spot. </p>
<p>Cas and Gail went down to the restaurant, but before they were seated, Cas turned to her. "I have an idea," he said. "Something else that might help your memory. Can you wait a bit to eat?" </p>
<p>"Sure, Cas," she said. Even though her stomach was grumbling, Gail was eager to make a breakthrough. </p>
<p>They walked out of the casino, and over to the Secret Garden. It was too early for the gates to open, and he had not even been sure it would be opening, due to the fact that it had been closed for renovations a number of months ago. But as he winked them into the area where the cages were, he could see that the place was exactly the same. Curious. He and Gail had just assumed that they had been renovating the place because the sign had said that it was closed "until further notice". </p>
<p>Still, it was here now, and Cas had wanted to bring Gail here when things were quiet, to see if she would remember it from the time they had been here before. </p>
<p>Gail looked around. "The Secret Garden," she said in a dazed tone. She ran up to the white tigers' cage. "I remember these guys!" she said excitedly. Cas followed her to the cage, and the tigers came over to him immediately, putting their faces against the bars for him to touch. Gail looked sidelong at Cas and smiled. "Even if I didn't remember these guys, that wouldn't surprise me a bit," she said, nodding her head at his hand. Cas was tickling the tigers' whiskers and patting their fur through the bars, producing a low, contented rumble from the cats. </p>
<p>"Wait a minute," Gail said slowly. "Those aren't guys; they're ladies! Now I remember, when we were here another time, the owner called them by girls' names! I even made a joke about it!" </p>
<p>"That's right, Gail." He came away from the tigers and took her hand. "Let's walk around, and we'll see if anything else comes back to you. But, no pressure. If not, we'll just enjoy a nice, quiet visit." He frowned. "I suppose we should have paid admission, but I wanted to come here before there were too many people around to distract you." </p>
<p>She smiled. He was an Angel, all right. So what if they had paid admission or not? It was early in the morning, and the place wasn't even open yet. It wasn't as if they were ripping anyone off, or anything. </p>
<p>Gail let him lead her by the hand from cage to cage, and she looked at the big cats, admiring them. But nothing of any significance was coming through. At least, not until they got to the cage that held the black panther. </p>
<p>She stood there at a standstill, looking at the creature. It was beautiful, but very sinister-looking. What made this cat different from the others? Its yellow eyes stared at her balefully. She started to shake, and she clutched at Cas. "Let's go, Cas. I don't like this one." </p>
<p>"Why not?" he asked her, trying to disguise his excitement. Wondering if she was remembering. </p>
<p>"It looks like it wants to attack me, or something," she replied, and then she wheeled around, turning her back on the cage. "Ow!" she yelled. She'd felt a sudden pain in her left arm. She went down to one knee as the pain ripped through her stomach. Was she having a heart attack? </p>
<p>Then she remembered. "It did attack me," she murmured. "And Lucifer was here, and Aurielle. Oh, my God. I remember, Cas." </p>
<p>He sank down to his knees and wrapped his arms around her. "It's OK, I'm here. It's OK, Gail," he said softly. </p>
<p>After a moment, he put his arm around her waist and took her hand, helping her to her feet. He led her to their bench and they sat down. </p>
<p>"I'm sorry, Gail," he said. "Perhaps I should not have brought you here. I was hoping that you would remember the other time we were here, instead. It was so serene, and we loved it so much." </p>
<p>She touched his face. "I do remember that, Cas." She smiled. "No wonder we keep coming back to Las Vegas. Now I'm remembering that we had a lot of nice moments here in this city. And right here, too." She gestured around them. "I'm not going to let that one incident spoil all the lovely moments we've had here together. It was just a shock to have it all come flooding back like that." She took his hands in hers. "Let's just sit here and enjoy the serenity for a bit." </p>
<p>So they sat there for a while, hand in hand, and then she turned to him and said, "I remember our first time here, now. And, I remember our first time." </p>
<p>He looked at her, puzzled. And then, he realized what she was talking about. He smiled. "I thought that would be the best night of my life," he told her. "But I was wrong." </p>
<p>She remembered how he spoke sometimes, so she said nothing, waiting for him to continue. </p>
<p>"Do you remember our relationship now?" he asked her, after a moment of silence had passed. </p>
<p>"Mostly," she replied. "Still not everything, but enough. Enough to know what kind of Angel, and what kind of man you are, and enough to know that I'm really lucky. Maybe that's why I like Las Vegas so much," she quipped. "I'm sure I've said that before." </p>
<p>He squeezed her hands. "I remember every word you have ever said," he told her. "I remember the day I met you, and I smile, because THAT was the best day of my life." He leaned forward to kiss her on the lips, and then he said, "And, for the record, I'm the lucky one." </p>
<p>"You've got to stop saying things like that," Gail said, nuzzling his cheek. "You're killing me, Cas. But in a good way." </p>
<p>He kissed her on the mouth, and she gave him her tongue immediately. His arms went around her, and they tightened as he continued to kiss her. </p>
<p>"I don't believe it," Hermann said. "You two, again." </p>
<p>They broke the kiss, looking at him sheepishly. </p>
<p>"I wondered if I would see you back here sometime," Hermann continued. His lips were twitching. "And here you are, the same as the last time. That's one of the reasons I decided the place should remain open, after the tragedy. I was hoping that couples like you would be able to come here and find some serenity amongst all the madness in the world." </p>
<p>"Tragedy?" Gail asked him. </p>
<p>"Yes," Hermann said, frowning. "About nine months ago, I arrived here early in the morning as I always do, and all of my dear cats were dead." Tears started to form in his eyes. </p>
<p>Castiel stood. "Dead?" he said, startled. "What happened?" </p>
<p>"That's just it; we don't know," Hermann said sadly. "The police were here, and the veterinarians, and none of them could tell me. They were all just...dead. I nearly closed this place after that. But then I thought about all of the people I've seen here over the years, and believe it or not, I thought about the two of you. And I couldn't bring myself to do it. This is one of my favourite places in the world. Except for that one day, and the other day when I saw you here. What happened that day?" </p>
<p>Gail stood too, and she and Cas exchanged glances. "It's a long story," Cas said to the man. "But please be assured, we mean the animals no harm." He smiled. "This is one of our favourite places, too." </p>
<p>"I can tell," Hermann said. "There's something different about you two. The cats can sense it, too. I know you would never harm them. Even though you did technically break in here." He smiled, to show the couple he was joking. </p>
<p>"I'm sorry about that," Cas said to him. "We only have a short time to spend here today, and we wanted to be here alone." He reached into his pants pocket. "I can give you the admission." </p>
<p>Hermann laughed. "Keep your money. I have more than enough. I'm just happy to see you both here again." </p>
<p>"We're happy to be here, too," Gail said, giving Cas's hand a squeeze. "And I hope this place will always be here. People need places like this, Hermann." </p>
<p>"You remembered my name," he said, pleased. </p>
<p>"I've been remembering a lot of things lately," Gail said, smiling. She looked at Cas. "We've got to go now, but we'll be back whenever we get the opportunity." </p>
<p>They said goodbye to Hermann, then walked out of the Secret Garden, winking themselves out to the Strip. There were so many people walking around that their sudden appearance wasn't noticed. </p>
<p>"Wow," Gail said. "I'm glad he didn't lose his faith after what happened." </p>
<p>Cas frowned. "I'm willing to bet that was Lucifer's doing. He was probably trying to send us a message. And that day we were here was the day before you left for Los Angeles." </p>
<p>Gail's heart sank. She felt terrible about that now. What he must have gone through when she had left their hotel room and flown off to Los Angeles, telling him her name was Sarah and that she didn't know him. Now she was really eager to receive her special training, even if it did have to come from Crowley. The next time she saw Lucifer, she was going to kill him. </p>
<p>But they were here now, and they only had today. Gail was feeling a bit more like an Angel now that she was regaining her memories, but she wasn't ready to think like one right now. She wanted her day in Vegas first. </p>
<p>"I know it's early, but I'd really like a drink," she said to Cas. "And I really need to talk to you. Can we maybe go to a lounge somewhere? I get the feeling that I'm going to have to get all my sinning in today." </p>
<p>Cas gave her a half-smile. Well, he had promised himself that they would do whatever she wanted today. So he took her hand and they walked into a casino. They found a quiet lounge, and he ordered her a rye and ginger ale, then took her to a corner table. </p>
<p>"Come sit beside me, Cas," she said. She took a few sips of her drink and then turned to him, taking his hand. "I'm so sorry I left you, Cas. You know I would never have done that if I'd been in my right mind." </p>
<p>"I know that, Gail," he said softly. </p>
<p>"You must have thought I was crazy," she said sadly. </p>
<p>"I was the one who was crazy," he told her. "I looked for you everywhere. It was a miracle that I found you." </p>
<p>"How DID you find me, anyway?" she asked him. </p>
<p>Cas told her the story about Dean having spotted her on TV, and the fact that no one else had seemed to know that it was her. "But I knew it was you," he said, kissing her hand. "Even though you looked so different." </p>
<p>Then it occurred to her: she'd had blonde hair and green eyes when she had been Sarah. But yesterday, when she'd looked in the mirror at the bunker after her shower, her hair and eyes had been brown, and she hadn't thought anything of it because that was how she had always looked. Apparently, she'd been settling back into being Gail without even realizing it. </p>
<p>"So you were the only one who knew that I was me?" she asked Cas. </p>
<p>He smiled. "You're my person, Gail. I would always know you, no matter what." </p>
<p>Gail smiled back. "I remember that now, too. 'You're my person'. I thought that was such a sweet way to put it. You're my person too, Cas. I'm so glad you didn't give up on me." </p>
<p>"I could never give up on you, Gail," he told her. Now, he felt safe enough to say, "I saw Devlin on TV this morning, when you were in the shower." </p>
<p>She frowned. "I'm glad you saved me from him, too," she said. "I can't believe I worked for that guy. I guess Lucifer thought that would be pretty funny." </p>
<p>"Let's not talk about that right now," Cas said. "What do you want to do after you finish your drink?" </p>
<p>"Honestly?" she asked him, smiling a little. </p>
<p>He nodded. "Yes, honestly. Whatever you'd like to do, we'll do." </p>
<p>Gail took a few more sips from her drink, thinking. They had the whole day ahead of them, but she knew from past experience that it would go very quickly. She finished her drink and leaned forward, speaking into his ear. "Can we just go back to the room for a while, Cas?" </p>
<p>He could feel her lips brush his ear, and his breath caught. "Are you sure, Gail?" he asked her softly. </p>
<p>"Do you think there will ever be a time that we come here that you don't ask me that?" Gail teased him. </p>
<p>Cas considered. "Probably not," he said, smiling. </p>
<p>They laughed together, and he stood. "Let's go," he said, and she took his hand. </p>
<p>Cas put the Do Not Disturb sign on the door, and Gail drew the drapes closed, leaving just a small gap of light. </p>
<p>"I want us to be able to find each other," she quipped. Suddenly, she was nervous. This was ridiculous. She loved Cas with all her heart, and she now remembered that they had been in a relationship for nearly three years. They had been intimate before, a number of times. So why did she feel so shy now? </p>
<p>Cas approached her, looking at her face. She was nervous! He thought that was cute. It was usually him who was nervous. But she had just now regained her memories of who she was, and who they were together. It was bound to be a bit overwhelming for her. But somehow the fact that she was nervous put him at ease. He would make her feel comfortable. He would always take care of her. </p>
<p>He touched her face gently. "I've heard that you only fall in love once, but that's not true," he told her. "Because every time I see you, I fall in love all over again." </p>
<p>"I love it when you say things like that," she said, smiling. "I'm glad you don't listen to Dean. Please, don't ever change." </p>
<p>He pulled her to him and kissed her, and his tongue was in her mouth immediately, looking for hers. His hands slipped under her top, touching her bare skin. </p>
<p>"Am I being too aggressive?" he asked her. </p>
<p>Was he kidding? "No," she said, smiling. "I love you, Cas." </p>
<p>That was what he'd needed to hear. He picked her up and carried her to the bed, laying her down. Then he took off her clothes, and his own. She was helping him, or trying to, at least. But he smiled at her awkwardness, and he said, "Let me, please." </p>
<p>The roles had reversed now, and Cas felt strong and confident. He knew by now that Gail liked him to take the lead, and he was happy to do so, since she had now obviously remembered how much in love they were. He knelt above her and caressed her skin lightly. He was very excited now, but he wanted to take his time, and make sure she enjoyed the experience. </p>
<p>Gail's hand touched him, and he gasped. It had been quite a while since they had been intimate, and he had forgotten how good it felt when she touched him. </p>
<p>"Not yet," he said, pulling away from her slightly. He leaned down and kissed her on the mouth, giving her his tongue. Then he trailed his tongue down her body, and she opened her legs. She was already making her sounds, and she started to cry out immediately when he began to make love to her there. </p>
<p>He stayed for a few minutes, and then he moved his body on top of hers and slipped into her. She was talking softly into his ear, telling him how much she loved him, and how much she had missed him, and he felt the warm rush as soon as she'd said those things. </p>
<p>"I'm sorry," he said once he'd caught his breath. "I just love you so much, and it's been so long since I was able to love you like this." </p>
<p>"Don't apologize," she said, smiling. "From what I recall, we've been able to do this pretty much as often as we please." Her smile widened. "I knew that there were distinct advantages to being Angels. Aside from being the good guys, of course." </p>
<p>Cas smiled back. "We'll worry about being Angels tomorrow. Right now, I'm only thinking about how good this is." </p>
<p>"Me too," she said impishly, caressing his back and shoulders. </p>
<p>Cas moved to lay beside her, but he still held her tightly. "Let me know when you want me to stop," he said. He started to kiss her neck. "I want to make love to you. All of you. But I don't want you to feel suffocated, or overwhelmed. I just want you to feel loved." </p>
<p>"I do," she said, holding his head. "And I DO want you to stop." </p>
<p>He did, looking at her inquiringly. </p>
<p>"In about a year," she said softly, smiling again. </p>
<p>Cas was relieved. He knew that he felt things too intensely at times. His anger had caused him to kill in the past, before he'd had the chance to calm down. And he was having trouble calming down right now. He loved her so much. They could just stay here all day, as far as he was concerned. </p>
<p>"I love you more than I can possibly express in words," he told her. "So let me show you, instead." </p>
<p>Gail had no idea how long they had been in bed, and she didn't care. She no longer had an appetite for food, and she felt no particular desire to sleep at the moment. She had made it back to full Angel status again. </p>
<p>Cas had kissed and licked every inch of her body once, and then he had done so again. At the moment, he had her poised over his mouth, and his tongue was inside her. She had never felt anything quite like that before. She was moving her body up and down, moaning softly. Then his fingers traded places with his tongue, and as they moved in and out of her, his lips and tongue were also making love to her there. She was kneeling above him, trembling. She had lost her words a long time ago. He was kissing her with his mouth and his tongue in the most intimate of places, and she felt a wave of pleasure that was so intense that she had to hold on to the headboard for fear of collapsing. </p>
<p>"Cas!" she cried out, and he pulled her even closer to his mouth, his other hand on her hip. She was whimpering now, lost in the feeling. He had no idea how good it was. How could he possibly be doing this to her? They had been making love for hours now, and he had made her feel like this countless times. </p>
<p>When she was finally still, Cas slid out from underneath her and turned around, embracing her from behind. "Did that feel good?" he asked softly in her ear. </p>
<p>Gail smiled. He had to be kidding. "Once I can form a complete sentence again, I'll let you know," she said, still trying to catch her breath. </p>
<p>"Do you need to lie down for a minute?" he asked her. He was kissing her softly on the cheek, holding her tightly. </p>
<p>"I think I'd better, before I fall down," she said. </p>
<p>He eased her down onto her back, and then he laid down beside her. He was smiling, and his eyes were shining bright blue. "I love making you so happy," Cas said to her. His hands were still caressing her skin. </p>
<p>"And you have," Gail told him. She touched his face, and he kissed the palm of her hand. "You're amazing, Cas. I don't know how you do it. I love everything you do. You make me feel so loved." </p>
<p>"That's because you are," he said. </p>
<p>"And I love you, just as much," she said. </p>
<p>He propped himself up on one elbow and leaned down to kiss her. "I like it when you say that," he told her. Then he kissed her, and one of the hands that had been caressing her slipped around her waist. She put her arms around him, enjoying the kiss for a minute. Then she broke the kiss. "I think you may have officially worn me out," Gail quipped. </p>
<p>"I'm sorry," he said automatically, and he eased her back onto the bed. "I guess I got carried away." He laid down beside her again. </p>
<p>"I don't know what you're apologizing for," Gail told him, smiling. "You just gave me the most glorious afternoon of my life." </p>
<p>He brightened. Cas was afraid he'd been too intense. He told her this now, and she laughed. "If and when that time ever comes, I'll let you know," Gail said. Though she had to admit, he had come close to overwhelming her a couple of times. If he fought as intensely as he made love, their enemies would be vanquished in no time. She told him this, and he laughed until tears sprang to his eyes. Only Gail could make him laugh so hard about a subject that was as sensitive to him as that one sometimes was. </p>
<p>"And now, I need you to do me a favour," she said to him. </p>
<p>"What do you need, Gail?" he asked her. </p>
<p>Gail smiled warmly. She remembered when he'd first asked her that. Now he no longer had to ask, because he already knew. </p>
<p>"Close your eyes," she told him. </p>
<p>So he did, and she moved down his body, taking him in her mouth. In all the hours that they had been here, he had made love to her in a number of different ways, but any time she had attempted to maneuver herself into position to do this for him, he had gently dissuaded her. But now, probably just because she had asked him, he was finally letting her reciprocate. </p>
<p>Cas now knew that there was something very special about their relationship. He had always felt that way, of course; every couple who were in love felt that their own relationship was the closest, and the most loving. But to him, this was no ordinary love. They would find and defeat Lucifer together, and Metatron, and Aurielle. And then they would be married and have their honeymoon. He had been looking forward to that day for so long, but crisis after crisis had befallen them, preventing him from proceeding. Once the current crisis was over, he wasn't going to wait any longer. </p>
<p>He could feel Gail making love to him, and he started to whimper, just as she had done. As wonderful as she said he had made her feel, he knew that there was no way it could ever be as good as this, or as when he was inside her, and they were part of one another. He told her he loved her, and then he lost his words as the warm feeling came over him. </p>
<p>She came back up a moment later, to lay in his arms again. "I feel like sleeping one last time, Cas," she told him. "Do you mind?" </p>
<p>"No, of course I don't mind," he said, kissing her softly on the forehead. "Sleep for as long as you need to. I'll watch over you. Do you want me to sit in the chair?" </p>
<p>"No, Cas," Gail said. "I want you here, with me." </p>
<p>"Good," he said, smiling. "I'd much rather be here, holding you." </p>
<p>"Goodnight, Cas," she said, snuggling against him. Within minutes, she was asleep. </p>
<p>And when Gail woke in the morning, she remembered everything. She had fallen asleep determined to shatter Lucifer's modification of her memories once and for all. She had stirred in the middle of the night, and Cas had kissed her on the forehead to soothe her. His eyes had been closed, too. He had been reliving their afternoon in his mind, and daydreaming about the type of wedding ceremony she might like to have. So he didn't see the momentary golden glow that had emanated from her forehead when the blue glow from his kiss was absorbed into her mind. </p>
<p>So, when Gail awoke, not only did she have all of the memories of who she truly was back, but her and Cas's combined powers had enabled her to contravene Lucifer's additional modification, the one which had erased Cas's and her own Demon phase from all of their minds. Now she was the only one, besides all of their enemies, who remembered that Cas had once been one of the worst Demons of all, and how badly he had hurt her at that time. </p>
<p>And Cas had no idea. Absolutely none.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Jesus, He Knows Me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Gail had rolled over during the night, as she always seemed to do when she slept, and she could feel Cas's arms around her now. He was spooning her, and she knew that he would be awake, and that he would react as soon as she stirred. </p>
<p>She kept herself completely still. That was what she got, for asking for all of her memories back. She should have just asked for world peace, or something. Her wish had been granted, and now she remembered everything, all too well. </p>
<p>And it didn't help that she had a cramp in her leg now. Gail had to stretch it before the pain began in earnest, and the instant she did that, Cas said, "Good morning." </p>
<p>"Good morning," Gail replied. It was a good thing that he would be used to her habit of not turning around to face him right away, because she had to compose herself first. Remind herself that he was no longer the Demon, and he hadn't been one in quite some time. He was gentle and loving now, and the Demon was dead and gone. They had separated over it, but they had both used the time to change for the better, and Gail had pretty much made her peace with it, as best she could. Then, Lucifer had done them a huge favour by removing the incident entirely. Or so she had thought. But now, she had it back. Thanks, Lucifer. Thanks a lot. </p>
<p>There could be no upside in sharing this with Cas right now. Absolutely none. He had done his penance, they had reconciled, and he was kind and loving now. And Gail hadn't exactly been Prudence Pureheart during that time in their lives, either. She would have to figure out what to do with any residual feelings she had about it later. </p>
<p>But right now, his arms had tightened around her, and he was kissing her neck. Which was nice, but a small part of her was almost expecting him to bite down. She could feel him behind her, and he was in an excited state. Ordinarily, that would have been quite welcome. But suddenly, she needed to turn around, so that she could see the colour of his eyes. </p>
<p>She squirmed out of his arms and rolled over to face him. His eyes were the familiar and comforting blue she was used to seeing, she noted with relief. But there was a look of surprise in them now. </p>
<p>"What's the matter?" he asked her. </p>
<p>"Nothing," she said. "I had a cramp in my leg. But it's gone away now." </p>
<p>"Oh." Cas smiled, and put his arms around her again. He kissed her, giving her his tongue, and one of his hands crept down to her thighs. He was emboldened by the wonderful afternoon they had had here yesterday. Maybe he could make love to her again once or three times before they had to go back home. He parted her legs and began to stroke her in the way he knew that she liked. And he remembered having done something else a while ago that she had said she liked, so he said, "Would you like to turn back around?" </p>
<p>But she looked startled at that. "Why?" she said suspiciously. </p>
<p>Cas was alarmed. She was acting strangely now, and the last time that had happened, he had lost her for all those months. Well, there was no way that was going to happen this time. He stopped stroking her and put his other arm around her, holding her tightly to him. </p>
<p>"Please tell me what's wrong," he pleaded. </p>
<p>She couldn't. His eyes were blue now. If she told him, assuming he even believed her, she would really hurt him. And what would be the point of that? But he was holding her so tightly now that she was practically suffocating. </p>
<p>"Cas, please. Ease up," she said. Her voice was muffled by his chest, but she knew that he could hear her. </p>
<p>"No. I can't," he responded. </p>
<p>"Cas, if you don't let go of me right now, we're going to have a problem," Gail said irritably. </p>
<p>"Not until you tell me what your name is," he said to her. </p>
<p>Oh. So that was it. She supposed that was only fair. Gail had forgotten the fact that he might be dealing with a little PTSD of his own. "My name is Gail, Cas," she said. "It's OK. I love you, I just need you to give me a bit of air right now." </p>
<p>His arms flew off of her immediately, and she raised her head to look at him. His eyes were still blue, and the only look on his face was one of relief. She was being ridiculous. She had to let it go, now. </p>
<p>"It's OK, Cas," she said again. "I'm me, and I remember everything." </p>
<p>"Oh, thank God," he said. "I was so scared." </p>
<p>Gail kissed him softly on the lips. "I'm sorry, Cas. I didn't mean to scare you. I guess I just had a bad dream, or something." She touched his face. "Now, where were we?" she said lightly. "I kind of liked what was going on a moment ago." </p>
<p>She took his hand and kissed it, then brought it to her breast. "Tell you what. Let's start here and see where we end up." </p>
<p>He smiled and leaned forward to kiss her. She opened her mouth to receive his tongue as he caressed her body. She reached down to touch him, and his breath caught. She guided him to her and opened her legs. He pushed forward into her, and they continued to kiss. Then he rolled her over onto her back and began to stroke her with one finger as he was moving in and out of her. </p>
<p>"Does that feel good?" Cas asked her. </p>
<p>Gail couldn't help but smile. Couldn't he tell? "Yes," she said simply, because it was getting hard to speak now. She closed her eyes, enjoying the sensation for a moment, but then she opened them again. She wanted to look at him. He was so sweet, and so wonderful. No matter what they did, he always wanted to make sure that her happiness came first. He was not Demon Cas any more, he was just Cas. Her Cas. </p>
<p>"Please come here, Cas," she said, reaching up for him. </p>
<p>He lowered his body down and she held his head, whispering into his ear, "I love you so much." </p>
<p>He moved faster, and then he moaned softly. She wrapped her arms and legs around him, embracing him in every way possible. She kissed his ear and said, "I've always loved you, Cas, and I always will." </p>
<p>He lifted his head up and looked at her. A tear was escaping from the corner of his eye, and she reached up and wiped it away from his cheek. "I love you so much, Gail," he told her softly. "You make me so happy." He kissed her gently on the lips, then moved his body down hers, licking her delicately between her legs. She was whimpering now. Then his mouth closed around her and his tongue sped up its motion, and then she was crying out. </p>
<p>When she was still, Cas laid on top of her again, kissing and cuddling her. "I wish we could just stay here all day," he said. </p>
<p>"I wish we could just stay here all week," she quipped, wrapping her arms around him. "But I think I'd better get up and take my shower, before we give in to temptation again. I think I left my halo in my overnight bag. I guess I'd better go looking for it." </p>
<p>He smiled and kissed her again. "See if you can find mine in there, as well," Ca said, and they laughed together. </p>
<p>But as she eased herself out of the bed and padded over to her bag, Cas's smile faded. They had had their idyllic time alone here together, but now they would have to concentrate on the very serious dangers that were out there. The sooner they dealt with their enemies, the sooner they could begin their lives together as husband and wife. </p>
<p>Gail came out of the shower fully dressed, and she kissed Cas chastely as he headed off to the shower. She grabbed the TV remote. Might as well watch a bit, while she waited for him. </p>
<p>She channel surfed for a bit, and then she came upon Reverend Devlin's show. Gail shivered slightly as she watched him. Now that she had regained all of her memories and knew who she truly was, she couldn't believe that she had actually allowed that man to kiss her and hold her hand. Thank God Cas had rescued her in time. Now she saw "the Rev" for what he really was, just another one of those false prophets that Cas used to watch on TV. And there were so many people that were buying into Devlin's "Ministry", both literally and figuratively. He was taking advantage of peoples' fear and uncertainty about the future in the worst way imaginable. </p>
<p>Cas came out of the bathroom and started to dress. He heard Reverend Devlin's voice on the TV and frowned. </p>
<p>"Why are you watching that?" he said sharply. </p>
<p>"I don't know, Cas," she responded. "Just curious, I guess." </p>
<p>He walked over to her, buttoning his shirt. "I don't want you looking at that guy," he said sternly. "It's bad enough that you were working for him." </p>
<p>"I know, Cas. But that wasn't my fault," she protested. "I wish that had never happened." </p>
<p>Cas sat down on the edge of the bed beside her. "I know. I'm sorry, Gail. I'm not angry with you." He took her hands in his. "I'm angry with Lucifer for doing that to you. And I'm angry with Devlin, too. He tried to force himself on you, didn't he?" </p>
<p>Gail frowned. "Yeah, Cas, he did." She remembered the way that Gordon had been with her on that occasion. As Sarah, she'd thought that he was all bark and no bite. But he'd been different that day, almost like he'd been angry at her, or something. If she hadn't teleported out of there, Gail felt sure he would have actually raped her. And he had been so strange, talking about how she liked it rough. Now that she had her full scope of memories back, Gail wondered if Gordon had been alluding to what had transpired between her and Cas when Cas had been a Demon. But how could Gordon possibly have known about that? </p>
<p>"He called you Castiel," she blurted out. </p>
<p>Cas was puzzled. "What?" </p>
<p>"Gordon," she replied. She had just remembered. "He called you Castiel. When he was...you know, trying to...How would he know your full name? Even I didn't know it then." </p>
<p>Cas thought about that. How WOULD Devlin know that? He looked at the TV screen. </p>
<p>The Rev was talking about Allison now. "I've gotten her an appointment with one of the foremost plastic surgeons in the industry," he was saying, "and it's all due to your generosity." He gestured to the studio audience, and to the TV camera. Then he looked offstage. "Come on out here, Allison, and blow everybody a kiss." </p>
<p>Aurielle sighed and came out on stage. She looked at the camera and smiled briefly, and Gail gasped. </p>
<p>"That's Aurielle," she said quietly. She looked at Cas, panicked. "That's Aurielle, Cas! Oh, my God! I was working with her all this time?" </p>
<p>Cas stared at the TV screen. That was how Aurielle had looked that day in the Secret Garden, except for the scarred face. Both he and Gail knew how her face had gotten scarred like that, of course. </p>
<p>His blood ran cold. "Devlin is Lucifer. My God, Gail. How did I not see that before? I could have had him!" </p>
<p>Gail felt like she was going to be sick. Gordon was Lucifer? She had worked with him all that time, laughing and joking with him. She had let him touch her. And she had worked alongside Aurielle for months! It was a miracle she was still alive. </p>
<p>"We've got to go get them, Cas," she said, clutching at him. "Now." </p>
<p>He rose from the bed and strode over to her bag, stuffing his clothes into it. Then he put on his blazer, which he had draped over the chair that sat at the desk. His Angel blade was in the pocket. But Aurielle and Lucifer were Demons. </p>
<p>"We'll have to go to the bunker, first," Cas told her. "I'll get a Demon knife there, and then I'll go to the studio." </p>
<p>"You mean WE'LL go to the studio," Gail said, rising to her feet. </p>
<p>"No, Gail," he responded. "I want you to stay at the bunker, where it's safe." </p>
<p>"I'm not going to do that, Cas," she told him. "There's no way I'm letting you go there by yourself. I'll get a knife too, and we'll go there together." </p>
<p>"I don't want to argue with you about this, Gail," he said, distressed. How could he bring her into such a dangerous situation? </p>
<p>"Good," she said with a thin smile. "You know I know where the place is, right? I certainly spent enough time there. If you go there by yourself, I'll just follow you there, anyway." </p>
<p>Cas paused. Yes, she probably would. Maybe he should call Bobby, though, and have him come with them, just to be on the safe side. But then, Bobby might call on the Angel trainees to come also, and although they had all acquitted themselves fairly well fighting the Demons in Detroit, Castiel didn't feel that any one of them were ready to be around a being as powerful as Lucifer. </p>
<p>"All right, Gail. I'll call Bobby on Angel Radio, and I'll have him meet us at the studio," he told her. </p>
<p>Gail's heart sank. Damn it, that was right. Cas wouldn't know. She really didn't want to tell him the truth about Bobby right now, but she felt like she had no choice. She put her hand on Cas's arm. "Before you do, I have something to tell you," she said. </p>
<p>"What is it, Gail?" </p>
<p>"Just before Lucifer came into the bunker that night, Bobby told me he had resigned. He's not God any more, Cas," she told him. </p>
<p>Cas's mouth dropped open. "What?" he exclaimed. </p>
<p>"I know," Gail said. "I had the same reaction. He told me that he'd quit, and he doesn't have his Godly powers any more. He didn't want to say anything until Lucifer was apprehended. I guess he thought it would be bad for morale. So you and I are it, Cas. Bobby's just got ordinary powers now." </p>
<p>Cas was stunned. Why would Bobby just up and quit like that? "When did he do that, Gail? Who's God now? And why didn't you tell me about this before?" </p>
<p>She sighed. "He told me he quit a while back, but I don't know exactly when he did it. He said we would have to have an election in Heaven, once Lucifer was taken care of. And I didn't tell you because I didn't remember. I didn't even know who I was until yesterday, Cas." </p>
<p>He took her hand. "I know. I'm sorry, Gail. I didn't mean to badger you. It's just such a shock." </p>
<p>Gail squeezed his hand. Poor Cas. The original God, the one who had been Cas's Father all those years, was gone now. Then Bobby had taken the job, and they had grown to rely on him as the steady hand on the helm. Who was going to lead the Angels now? </p>
<p>Cas frowned. "Well, he certainly could have picked a better time to do it. I guess it'll just be the two of us, then. But please, promise me that you'll let me deal with Lucifer by myself." </p>
<p>"OK, Cas. I'll take care of Aurielle, then. I kind of owe her, anyway," Gail said with a half-smile. </p>
<p>Cas picked up her bag, and they winked back to the bunker. </p>
<p>The place was quiet when they got there. It was still quite early in the morning, and it appeared as though no one was up yet. Gail was glad about that. This way, she and Cas wouldn't have to make any excuses about where they were going. </p>
<p>Gail put her bag on the bed in their room, and then they walked quietly to the weapons room, where they each picked out a Demon knife. And Gail wanted her Angel blade too, just on general principles. Now that she was herself again, she wanted her own blade with her. She picked it out from the table where all the weapons were laid out and collapsed it, putting it in her pants pocket. </p>
<p>Cas looked at her curiously. How had she managed to pick out her own blade so quickly? He had recognized it right away, but he had the advantage of experience. And Cas also noticed every detail when it came to Gail. Perhaps she had been able to do it because she was an Original. They would have to have that conversation, and soon. But right now, they had to take care of Lucifer. </p>
<p>They appeared in the back row of the theatre. The place was dark. They knew that the show was no longer broadcast live; presumably, it was because Lucifer was being more cautious these days, after the incident with the sniper. But that puzzled Cas now. If Devlin was Lucifer, why would he have been scared of a man with a gun? When Cas had seen him on television, he had referred to an "assassination attempt", and advised that he had a bodyguard. But that made no sense. Maybe Lucifer was just trying to generate sympathy from his public. </p>
<p>"He's probably in his office," Gail whispered to Cas. "He practically lives there. Follow me. I'll show you where it is." </p>
<p>Cas frowned. He wanted her behind him. But she did know where Devlin's office was, and he did not. So he would let her lead him there. Then, as soon as he saw Lucifer, he would give her the push, sending her back to the bunker. By the time she returned, if she returned, Lucifer would hopefully be dead. That was the plan, anyway. Then, if Aurielle showed up, and Gail came back, they could handle Aurielle together. Lucifer was the big threat, and Castiel didn't want Gail anywhere near him. And if she was angry that Cas had sent her back to protect her, he would deal with that after he dealt with this. </p>
<p>Gail took Cas's hand and began to lead him down the aisle towards the side of the stage. But suddenly, they heard voices. Two male voices, echoing through the empty theatre. </p>
<p>"What do you want me to do?" one of the men said angrily. "I can't be everywhere, all at once." </p>
<p>Cas and Gail looked at each other. The voices were getting closer now, and the couple could hear the mens' footsteps. Cas pulled Gail back against the side wall of the theatre. They were hidden in the shadows there, and if they were quiet, they would not be seen. The voice had sounded familiar to him, though it had not been Devlin's. </p>
<p>But it was Devlin who they saw first. He walked out on the stage, and even though the theatre was dark, they could make him out in the dim footlights at the front of the stage. Another man was walking behind him. It must have been this man whose voice they'd heard. And his voice had sounded familiar to both of them. Who was it? </p>
<p>Devlin turned around to look at the man who had spoken. "No?" he retorted. "Why the hell not? You're supposed to be guarding me, aren't you?" </p>
<p>Cas nearly rolled his eyes. So that was the so-called bodyguard? He still couldn't quite make out the man's face due to the poor lighting, but even though the man was fairly tall, he was not a particularly large individual, and there didn't seem to be anything remarkable about him. </p>
<p>But Gail put her hand on Cas's arm and squeezed, hard. He looked towards her, and she leaned in to speak to him. "Cas, that guy with Devlin...it's Jason!" she said softly. </p>
<p>Cas looked back at the stage, open-mouthed, realizing that she was right. Their old enemy Jason. What was he doing here, and not locked up in Heaven's prison? Since Cas had no recollection of himself having been a Demon, that was where Jason had last been, to Cas's knowledge. So, how was it that he was here? Great. As if they didn't have enough adversaries to worry about. </p>
<p>Cas began to strategize in his head. His Angel blade would take care of Jason, and Cas had defeated him in hand-to-hand combat before, so he was sure he could do it again. And Cas had the Demon blade for Lucifer. Was Aurielle here, too? And, what of Metatron? He had sort of been an afterthought this whole time, but they still didn't know anything definitive about his whereabouts, including whether or not he had aligned himself with Lucifer. Perhaps Castiel should have asked Crowley to come here. But he didn't know if he could trust his Brother not to turn on him, and if Crowley did, Castiel would be seriously outnumbered. Even if he were to keep Gail here with him. </p>
<p>But there was no way Cas could allow Gail near either of these two. Jason had tortured her at the cabin with great relish, and Castiel knew he wouldn't hesitate to do so again. And, now that Castiel knew that Devlin was in fact Lucifer, he realized what his Brother had intended to do to Gail when she'd been Sarah, and it made him feel sick. Lucifer had tried to do to her body what he'd already done to her mind. Thank God she had gotten out of there in time. </p>
<p>Cas was in the act of turning towards Gail to find her forehead in the darkness so he could give her the push back to the bunker when he heard a third voice shout: "I cast thee from the Earth!" </p>
<p>Startled, Cas turned back around to look at where the voice had come from. A third man had popped up from between the seats in front of the stage. The man pointed a handgun at Devlin and said, "Begone, Satan!" </p>
<p>Oliver fired, but Jason stepped in front of Lucifer and incredibly, he caught the bullet with the fingers of his right hand. Cas gasped. Jason's reflexes had always been good, but this? Castiel had never seen Jason do anything like that before. </p>
<p>Jason looked at the bullet. Then he turned and looked at Lucifer. "Pentagrams," he said shortly, tossing the bullet to Lucifer. </p>
<p>"Who are you?" Lucifer asked Oliver, hiding behind Jason. </p>
<p>"A concerned human," Oliver responded. "And I know who, and what, you are," he said to Lucifer. Then he looked at Jason. "But what are YOU?" </p>
<p>Jason smiled, and as his smile grew wider, so did Cas's eyes. Jason's teeth were sharp, and he had that predatory look that Cas had come to recognize from his association with Sam and Dean. Jason was a vampire!? </p>
<p>And it was a shock for Gail to see Oliver here. What was going on? Had she jumped into one of those stories she'd been reading, all of a sudden? What was with all of these people popping up from their past? </p>
<p>Bang. Bang. Bang, bang. Oliver was firing at Lucifer again, but he was shaking so much from the shock of seeing that Lucifer's bodyguard was a vampire that he was firing wildly, and the bullets missed their mark. Jason laughed, and he jumped down from the stage, tackling Oliver. He turned Oliver's head to the side and bit his neck, hard, sucking Oliver's blood. </p>
<p>Jason fed on Oliver for a minute, then let him go. Oliver slumped down in-between the seats as Jason stood there, smiling. Jason had thought that it was all over for him once Benny had begun to feed on him in Purgatory, but he was quite pleased with his existence now. He could still fight as well as he ever had, and he had even more stamina now. And the fact that it hurt his victims when he fed on them made it even more pleasurable for him. He had nearly ripped his first couple of victims' throats apart when he'd felt the urge to feed, after Benny had turned him. But then Benny had showed him the proper technique for feeding. You could get your fill while leaving your victims' throats intact, enabling you to keep on using them as a source of nourishment. But it was hard for Jason to restrain himself in that manner. He had always been sadistic, and as soon as he sank his teeth into someone, he couldn't seem to stop himself from inflicting maximum pain on his victim. </p>
<p>He had pulled up on Oliver at the last moment, though, thinking that Lucifer may want to interrogate the man to find out who he was, and who was behind these assassination attempts. But the taste of Oliver's blood had surprised Jason. Jason had only fed on the blood of the monsters in Purgatory, and on a few humans here, since he had come to Earth at Lucifer's behest. But there had been something different about the quality of Oliver's blood. It had seemed richer, and sweeter, somehow. He thought he might like to have some more like that. Maybe he would have to renegotiate his contract, once he found out where that man had come from. </p>
<p>Gail's head was swimming now. When she had seen Jason bite Oliver's neck, she'd had a very vivid flashback of Cas having done the same thing to her. She had never cared much for Oliver, but no one deserved that. She certainly hadn't. But Cas wasn't a Demon now, and he wasn't a vampire, either. He'd never actually been a vampire, per se, even when he'd been at his worst, she reminded herself. The bastardized potion that had been poured down Cas's throat had had an agent in it which had provoked vampiric behaviour, but because it had essentially been a love potion, Cas had only wanted to taste Gail's blood when they were having sex. That had initially disgusted her, but later, when Gail had too much Demon blood in her, she had allowed Cas to feed on her a couple of times, compounding the problem. But Cas would have no recollection of any of that, now. He wouldn't even know that Jason had been in Purgatory, and he would have no idea who Oliver was. And until she figured out what to do with all of the feelings associated with the fact that she was the only one now who remembered all those terrible moments, she would have to keep her mouth shut, for fear of making things worse. </p>
<p>But the current situation was bad enough. Cas stood frozen now, indecisive. Neither of the blades he had on him would kill Jason, not with what he appeared to be now. Lucifer was still the priority, but if Castiel went for Lucifer now, Jason would shield him, and attack Castiel, or worse, Gail. And while it did not scare Castiel that Jason might attack him, he had no weapon with which to fight a vampire at the moment, so it would be pointless to engage with Jason. They were both eternal beings, and while they were fighting, Lucifer would flee. And once Castiel attacked, he would demonstrate that he knew who "the Rev" really was, and then Lucifer could take on a new vessel and disappear into the wind. At least now, Cas still had the element of surprise in his favour. </p>
<p>Cas felt badly for the poor man who had been bitten by Jason, though. He recognized him as the man he had seen coming out of the theatre that day, looking nervous. Apparently, he had somehow known what Devlin was, and he had probably been working up the nerve to act as he had. He must be the sniper who had been shooting at Devlin outside the restaurant. But he had accidentally shot Gail. Cas admired the man's persistence, but his marksmanship left a lot to be desired. And now Jason had wounded him severely, even killed him, perhaps. Castiel would love to help the poor man, but he didn't dare reveal himself right now. </p>
<p>"You have a visitor." Yet another man's voice, coming from offstage. Lucifer turned around. "Can't you see we're in the middle of something?" he snarled. Although, technically, that wasn't exactly true. The crisis had been averted, at least for the time being. Lucifer was just annoyed, because for the tiniest of seconds, he had been afraid. He was the one who was supposed to do the scaring, not the other way around. </p>
<p>"I think you'll want to see this guy," Mark told Lucifer. </p>
<p>The Devil sighed. "Come on, Jason," he said, starting to walk off the stage. </p>
<p>"What about him?" Jason asked, gesturing to where Oliver lay. </p>
<p>"We'll worry about him in a minute," Lucifer said irritably. "If he's dead, you can dispose of him. If not, you can have another snack, if you want. Now, come on. Until we know what's going on, I need you with me." </p>
<p>Jason had his back to Lucifer, and he was frowning. Jason was used to being in charge; he wasn't wild about Lucifer ordering him around like some kind of a lackey. But until Jason figured out his own endgame, he would play along. </p>
<p>The instant the men left the theatre, Cas rushed down the aisle to check on the condition of the man who had shot at Lucifer. Gail hurried after him. </p>
<p>Cas leaned down to look at Jason's victim. He had a gaping hole in his neck, and it was bleeding copiously. He was still breathing, but his breath was very shallow. Cas picked him up gently and moved him to the middle aisle, where there was more room. Gail stood over them, looking down at Oliver. Unexpectedly, tears sprang to her eyes. She had disliked this man when she had been part Demon, but his abhorrence for what she and Cas were at the time had been understandable, and now she only felt compassion for him. </p>
<p>Cas moved to put his hand on Oliver's neck, but before he could begin the healing process, Oliver grabbed his wrist. "Don't save me again," he said to Cas. "Just let me go." </p>
<p>Cas was puzzled. What had he meant by that? Cas had never met this man before, and even if he had forgotten that he had met him, he would surely have remembered saving him. Cas was proud of each and every life he had ever saved. He had certainly taken enough lives in his existence. This man was clearly delusional or having a hallucination of some sort. He must be in indescribable pain; that probably explained it. He must think Cas was someone else. </p>
<p>He tried to put his hand on the man's neck again, but Oliver said, "No. Please, let me die. I don't want to live in a world where he rules. You won't be able to stop him. God is not God, and evil has taken over the Earth." Oliver looked up at Gail. "But it's good to see the two of you together and returned to your true selves. I'm sorry I was so cruel to you both. You represent the true light, and the true meaning of love." He coughed, and blood spurted out of his mouth. "I'm sorry I was an atheist all those years. I believe, now, but it's too late for me. Please save all the people you can before the Earth is lost. And apologize to Bobby for me, please. I met him once, when he was God, and I denied him. I shouldn't have done that. Please, tell him I'm sorry, and tell him that Heaven needs him." </p>
<p>Cas was really confused now. This man was speaking as if he knew them, and he was saying that he had met Bobby before. Who was he? Cas glanced up at Gail, who had moved to the other side of the man. She got down on her knees now. She had her hand on the man's arm, and she was crying. </p>
<p>"You can tell him yourself, Oliver," she said. Her hand found Oliver's, and she squeezed it gently. He looked at her gratefully. "I'll ask Bobby if he can meet you in the Garden and escort you to Heaven personally." Gail could feel Cas's eyes on her. She knew he would have no idea who Oliver was, or what he was talking about. She would have to figure out a way to explain it all to him. Then she had it. She put her hand on Oliver's forehead. He closed his eyes and smiled, then he opened them again. </p>
<p>"I'm so sorry I shot you," Oliver said weakly. </p>
<p>"That's OK," Gail told him softly. She smiled down at him. "As you can see, I'm fine. And you actually did me a favour." She glanced up at Cas, then looked back down at Oliver. "You brought me back to my person." </p>
<p>Oliver gave her hand a brief squeeze, then he closed his eyes again, and then he died. </p>
<p>Gail sent a message to Bobby on Angel Radio, telling him about Oliver's death. She hoped that he would be able to meet Oliver in the Garden, fulfilling her promise, but since Bobby was no longer God, she didn't know if that would even be possible. It had just been something comforting for her to say to Oliver. But he had died trying to help humanity, and he had believed, at the end. She hoped that would be enough for him to be able to ascend. </p>
<p>Cas looked shell-shocked. He had Oliver's blood all over himself, and he couldn't understand what had just happened. He could have saved the man, but he had said that he wanted to die. And the other things that he had said were extremely puzzling. </p>
<p>Cas looked at Gail. It seemed as if she knew this man, and that he had known both of them, somehow. </p>
<p>"What was he talking about?" Cas asked her in a hushed voice. "Who was he?" </p>
<p>"His name was Oliver," she responded, thinking furiously. She decided to tell Cas as much of the truth as she felt she could. She remembered how confusing it had been when she'd had no idea what everyone else was talking about when she had lost her memories, and she owed it to Cas to be as honest as she was able to be with him right now. "Sam knew him. He was a psychic. That must be how he knew about us, and about Bobby. And how he knew who Devlin really is." </p>
<p>What she was saying made sense on the surface, but Cas had the feeling that there was more to it than that. "But he was talking to us as if he knew us," he persisted. "And I've never seen him before." </p>
<p>"Poor Oliver," Crowley said from behind them. "Pity he converted in the end; otherwise, I would have gotten him. And my staff has been greatly reduced lately, as it is." </p>
<p>He walked down the aisle and stood over the Angels, looking down at Oliver's body. Crowley remembered when he and Gail had gone to Oliver's house to scare him into helping her. That had been fun. But Crowley had witnessed the tail end of this tragic death scene, and he had seen the expressions on both of the Angels' faces. This was curious. Crowley knew both of them very well, and he could tell that there was a different dynamic going on here. The last time he had seen the two of them, Gail had had no memory of who she was. Now Castiel seemed to be the one who was at sea. </p>
<p>"What's the matter, Castiel?" Crowley said, smirking. "You may be Heaven's hero, but you can't save them all, you know. Especially when it comes to those who don't want to be saved." </p>
<p>Cas looked up at the King of Hell, trying to suppress his feelings of contempt. Before Cas and Gail had come here, Cas had been planning to meet with Crowley and ask his help in training Gail how to use her powers to their full advantage. But Cas could hardly expect Crowley to be receptive if he spoke to him with the disgust he felt for him evident in his voice. It was very difficult for Castiel to speak to Crowley in a civilized tone, though, especially when Crowley was smiling the way he was now. Smugly, as if he knew everything there was to know, and as if he were superior to everyone else because of it. </p>
<p>Castiel rose slowly and looked at Crowley. "What are you doing here?" he asked, trying to keep his tone even. </p>
<p>"I'm here to meet someone," Crowley said evasively. "What are you two doing here?" </p>
<p>"Who are you here to meet?" Castiel countered warily. </p>
<p>"I'm pretty sure that's none of your business, Castiel," Crowley retorted. </p>
<p>Gail had risen to her feet now, and she was looking from one man to the other like she was watching a tennis match. Now that she had her full memory back, she knew that this was the way that the two of them always talked, and she knew that Castiel would be about two seconds away from losing his temper. Truthfully, she was getting annoyed with the both of them. Either they were going to form an alliance against Lucifer, or they weren't. But this continual macho posturing was getting them nowhere. </p>
<p>"Oh my God, you two," she said impatiently. "Let's just get a ruler, and we can solve the mystery once and for all!" And because she was herself again now, she looked at Castiel and quipped, "Though I'm pretty sure the odds would be heavily in your favour." </p>
<p>Crowley looked at her. He raised his eyebrows and said, "Regained our memory, have we, sweetheart?" </p>
<p>"Yes, we have," she retorted. "And I have just one question for you: Are you with Lucifer, or are you against him?" </p>
<p>This was Gail, all right, Crowley thought. "Against," he said tersely. </p>
<p>"Well then, that makes us allies," Gail said firmly. "Good. Because it just so happens we know where he is, right now. So if you want to come with us, we can get him." </p>
<p>Castiel opened his mouth as though he were about to speak, but then he closed it again. He would have to talk to Gail later about being so direct with Crowley, though. She was far too trusting now, when it came to his Brother. But Crowley was present, and he could actually be a very powerful ally, if he was being straight with them. </p>
<p>Cas sighed. He decided to take the plunge. "The Reverend Devlin is Lucifer," he told Crowley. "We came here to deal with him." </p>
<p>Crowley was astonished. He was also angry. Paul had been here on Earth all this time, ostensibly to find Lucifer, and it was Paul who Crowley had come here to meet. Paul had advised Crowley that Reverend Devlin had quite the following, and that many of the Demons who had defected from Hell were among them. Maybe this Devlin character could be a link to Lucifer. So Crowley had come here to get a status report from Paul. But if Castiel was right, and it was Devlin himself who was Lucifer, they could have had him ages ago. And now, Crowley was wondering where Paul's loyalties truly lay. </p>
<p>But he could worry about that later on. They were wasting time now. "Let's go," he told them. </p>
<p>Lucifer's visitor was Paul, and he knew his time was almost up now. Crowley was coming up for Paul's report, and he wasn't going to be able to stall the King any longer. It was time for Paul to come down off the fence and decide whose side he wanted to fight on. </p>
<p>The Rev had shown a lot of promise at the beginning, but now his "sermons" were becoming repetitive, and Paul had seen no further signs of Armageddon. What was Lucifer waiting for? Paul had thought that Crowley was an ineffectual leader, a tinpot dictator with delusions of grandeur, but no real plan for moving forward. So when Crowley had sent Paul here to Earth on his fact-finding mission, he had come eagerly, wanting to discern for himself whether Lucifer would be the better leader. Paul had known that Devlin was Lucifer pretty much right off the bat, and the fact that Crowley did not had further convinced Paul that the King of Hell had lost his mojo. But Paul was growing restless now. He had come into the office here, demanding to see Devlin, and his manner had been so imperious that Aurielle had been intimidated enough to tell him to take a seat. Then she had told Mark about him, and Mark had questioned Paul about why he wanted to see The Rev. Paul had attempted to be evasive with Mark, but Lucifer's right-hand-man wasn't going to let just any garden-variety Demon in to see his boss, not without a good reason. Lucifer had been very touchy since the assassination attempt, and Gail's departure hadn't helped. If Mark didn't vet this guy very carefully, he would incur Lucifer's wrath. So Paul had been left with no choice but to invoke Crowley's name, inferring that he could deliver the King of Hell to "Devlin" if he were to be granted a private audience with him. And that was what had prompted Mark to seek Lucifer out and tell him he needed to speak with Paul, ASAP. </p>
<p>When Lucifer came back to the office with Jason in tow, he saw Paul sitting outside his private office, waiting calmly for him. The fact that Paul was obviously a Demon encouraged Lucifer. Another turncoat from Hell. Excellent. Lucifer had actually seen this particular guy hanging around the theatre before, shooting the breeze with some of Lucifer's acolytes. Maybe he did have some intel on Crowley, then. In any event, he would listen to what the guy had to say. </p>
<p>He extended his hand to Paul to shake. "What can I do ya for?" he asked the Demon. </p>
<p>Paul restrained himself from rolling his eyes. The Everyman persona Lucifer was projecting had gotten old. He wondered if Lucifer even knew that his manner of speaking was insulting. Paul had been educated to the highest degree in Heaven, and unlike many of his Demon contemporaries, he was a naturally sophisticated and urbane individual. He could talk street if he needed to, and even a little patois if called upon, but just because his skin was black didn't mean that he belonged to the lowest common denomination. </p>
<p>"I wish to speak with you on a matter of the most urgent importance," Paul said stiffly. </p>
<p>Lucifer looked at him speculatively. Either this guy was a cut above the usual rank and file Demon, or he was putting on an act. Whichever way it turned out to be, Lucifer was intrigued now. "Come in, then," he said, showing Paul into his office. </p>
<p>Jason followed, but as soon as the vampire entered the office, Paul shook his head. "I need to speak with you alone," he said to Lucifer. </p>
<p>Lucifer frowned. "You've no doubt heard that an attempt has been made on my life," he said to his visitor. "And I have not yet made your acquaintance." Hey, if this joker wanted to talk like he had a stick up his butt, Lucifer could play, too. It was highly unusual for a Demon to speak so formally, though. </p>
<p>Paul gave his head a slight bow. "While I realize that is true, what I have to say is highly confidential, and for your ears only. I'm putting my own life at risk by meeting with you this way." </p>
<p>Now Lucifer was really interested. He waved Jason off. "Wait outside. I'll speak with this gentleman alone." </p>
<p>Jason scowled, but he exited the office, closing the door behind him. </p>
<p>Lucifer moved behind his desk, motioning for Paul to have a seat. "I didn't catch your name," he said to his visitor. </p>
<p>"I didn't give it," Paul replied. "Let me get right to the point. Crowley sent me here to Earth to report to him about our brethren who have - for lack of a better term - defected from Hell." </p>
<p>"Interesting," Lucifer said, sitting back in his chair. "And you're telling me this...why?" </p>
<p>"Because I'm trying to decide if I want to join them, and follow you instead," Paul replied. "But, unlike many of my fellows, I'm looking for your mission statement first, before I decide." </p>
<p>Lucifer was amused. "My mission statement?" </p>
<p>"Yes," Paul answered. "How do you propose to bring about Armageddon? And, what the hell are you waiting for?" </p>
<p>Lucifer eyed him warily. "Who said that I was going to bring about Armageddon? I'm just a lowly preacher man." </p>
<p>Paul smiled coldly. "If that's the image you want to project to the unwashed masses, fine. But if you want us to follow you, you're going to have to give us something to hang our hats on. Crowley is coming here to meet with me in a short while, and I've decided that our meeting can go one of two ways. Either I'll tell him that I have no news to report, or I'll tell him that you're Lucifer, and I'll let him know where he can find you. Then we can all sit back and see which one of you survives." </p>
<p>Lucifer leaned forward, and his eyes flashed red. "Who the hell do you think you are?" he hissed. "I could obliterate you with one wave of my hand." </p>
<p>Paul felt a momentary frisson of fear. Perhaps he'd pushed it a little too far, in his zeal to get Lucifer to reveal himself. But now that he had, Paul thought he knew just what to say to slow Lucifer's roll. "Like Castiel did to my father?" he said sharply. </p>
<p>Lucifer was floored. "You're Raphael's son?" he asked, astonished. </p>
<p>"Yes," Paul said shortly. </p>
<p>Lucifer started to smile. "The son of an Archangel is a Demon?" </p>
<p>"Let's just say that I found Heaven to be a little too...restrictive," Paul said coolly. "All that white. I just didn't feel like I belonged there." </p>
<p>"So, what is it you want from me, then?" Lucifer asked him, curious. His wheels were spinning now. Maybe he could do some business with this guy. Crowley obviously trusted him, and Castiel had killed his father. Perhaps Lucifer could enlist Paul's services to get a little payback. </p>
<p>Paul's eyes were black, of course, but they glinted as he said, "Armageddon isn't happening fast enough. You have an array of Demons at your disposal. Just say the word, and we can lay waste to the Earth." </p>
<p>Lucifer was impressed. Truthfully, he had been dragging his feet on the whole Armageddon thing. He had become complacent. It was kind of a kick to be a TV celebrity, and he had all the creature comforts that Earth had to offer if he wanted them. He had an adoring public, and the donations had been rolling in. But this could be the wake-up call he'd needed. Fame was fleeting, and if he didn't get off the pot soon, the public's attention would begin to wane. </p>
<p>But just as he was contemplating what sort of response to give, Mark burst into the office. "They're coming!" he said breathlessly. </p>
<p>"Who? The British?" Lucifer quipped. </p>
<p>Mark was panting. He'd run all the way here from the theatre when he'd seen them creeping up the aisle. Gail had suggested just popping into Lucifer's office, but she had been outvoted. Castiel and Crowley were inclined to be more cautious. Until they knew exactly what they were going to have to deal with, they'd opted for stealth instead. But Mark had spotted them, and in his panic, he had run all the way over here, when he could have popped over, himself. </p>
<p>"Castiel and Crowley!" Mark exclaimed. "And Gail is with them!" </p>
<p>Damn it! Lucifer didn't want a confrontation right now, not before he'd had a chance to even get Armageddon going. He'd wanted to pick them off one by one, on his own terms and in his own time. And quite honestly, he was unsure as to how he would fare against three Originals and their combined powers. </p>
<p>He smiled at Paul. "Well, here's your opportunity," he said to the Demon. "If you can make it out of here alive, I will set you high above all others." </p>
<p>Then he vanished. </p>
<p>Mark was panicking now. There was no way he was going to let Lucifer just hang him out to dry like this. Mark may have once been one of the original writers of the Gospels, but he had no more powers than did an ordinary Angel, and Lucifer's visitor was just an ordinary Demon. Even if they joined forces, they couldn't stack up against two Originals. Or three, if you counted the woman. </p>
<p>Mark looked at Jason, who was smirking. So, Castiel and Gail were coming. Good. Let them come. Jason wondered what Angel blood would taste like. Curious that Crowley was with them, though. Had the three of them formed some kind of uneasy alliance in order to deal with Lucifer? That must surely be the case. Castiel and Crowley had never been able to be in the same room with each other for longer than five minutes before one of them was threatening to kill the other. </p>
<p>But just before the trio came into the hallway, Lucifer called for both Mark and Jason to come to him, immediately. </p>
<p>Mark was grateful for the call, but Jason frowned. His Master's voice. He'd really wanted to have another confrontation with Castiel, and he really wanted to feed on Gail. Maybe he could take her somewhere and keep her, until he turned her. See how Castiel felt about that. And if Jason had disliked the couple before, now he burned with hatred for them. They were responsible for him being a vampire now, and even though Jason didn't really mind it at times, he still blamed Castiel for everything that had gone awry for him since the tribunal. Jason supposed he could count Crowley as one of the individuals who was responsible for his fate, as well. If the King of Hell would have just had the good sense to leave Castiel dead in the first place, none of the subsequent events would have even occurred. </p>
<p>Then Lucifer's voice came through again, and he sounded angry. Jason and Mark looked at each other, then disappeared. And that was when Crowley, Castiel and Gail entered the hallway. </p>
<p>Damn it! Gail thought. She had really hoped that they could have gotten those two, as well. But she led the way to Devlin's office. If they could get Lucifer, they could still call the mission a success, at least for the time being. </p>
<p>But he wasn't there. Only one single Demon stood in Devlin's office, looking calmly at the three of them. </p>
<p>"Majesty," he said to Crowley, dipping his head. </p>
<p>"What are you doing here?" Crowley said angrily. </p>
<p>Paul read the King's face. He figured he'd better tell Crowley something that was close enough to the truth to be believable, so he said, "I was trying to stall Lucifer, to keep him here for your arrival. I just found out who Devlin really was, and I knew you would be here any moment for our meeting." He looked at Castiel and Gail curiously. "Though I must admit I'm surprised to find you in this company." </p>
<p>Castiel looked closely at Paul's face. "Something about you seems familiar to me," Cas said to him. </p>
<p>"That's because we all look alike, I suppose," Paul said resentfully. </p>
<p>Cas was puzzled. "Who? Demons?" he said, misunderstanding Paul's meaning. "No, it's your eyes. I feel like I've seen them before." </p>
<p>Crowley smirked. This was too good to pass up. "That's because you HAVE seen eyes like his before. Once, when you obliterated their owner, and again, when they were accusing you from the witness stand." </p>
<p>Castiel looked at Crowley. What was he babbling - Then Cas got it. </p>
<p>"You're Raphael's son," Cas said to Paul. </p>
<p>"Yes, I am," Paul confirmed. "So, you're the one who reduced my father to body parts and sent him to the Netherworld." </p>
<p>Castiel was uncomfortable now. What should he say to this man? That he was sorry? But he wasn't sorry, not really. Raphael had been planning to do the same thing to Earth that Lucifer wanted to do now: lay waste to the planet and murder all the humans just so he could have it as his personal playground. Or maybe Lucifer wanted to do that just because he was Lucifer. In any event, Castiel had had to stop Raphael before he could bring his plan to fruition. It was only the circumstances surrounding Raphael's murder and the manner in which Castiel had carried it out that caused Castiel shame. </p>
<p>Gail knew what Cas must be feeling, and she felt badly for him. But she had also been puzzled by Paul's comment. What did he mean, Cas thought they all looked alike? Was it because he was black? </p>
<p>Paul saw Gail regarding him curiously, and he said to her, "My name is Paul. And you are...?" </p>
<p>"The Angel Gail," Crowley interjected. "She is Castiel's...significant other, I guess we'll call her." </p>
<p>Gail gave Crowley a brief glare. "While that is true, I also happen to be an individual, as well," she said sharply, prompting Paul to grin. </p>
<p>"I'm sure you are," he said. Then he stopped grinning. Crowley was looking daggers at him now, and the King was nobody to mess with. </p>
<p>"But what did you mean when you said you all look alike?" Gail asked Paul, unable to restrain herself. </p>
<p>"White people always think all black people look alike," Paul said to her. "I've dealt with that for my entire existence. Maybe you would understand. Being a woman, you must have had some experience with prejudice. Especially, being as you're an Angel. I know that many long-serving male Angels still regard women as second-class citizens. As they did me. Didn't John Lennon have a song" 'Woman Is The Nigger Of the World'?" </p>
<p>Castiel drew in a sharp breath. "We don't use words like that. They are offensive. And Heaven is no longer like that. Pity you couldn't have stayed long enough to find that out." </p>
<p>Paul looked at him evenly. "Prejudice runs deep, Castiel. It's easy for you to say. You've always been one of Heaven's elite. You have no idea what it's like to be looked down on." </p>
<p>Cas laughed shortly. "No? You might be surprised. You're right about one thing; I don't have any idea what it's like to be judged based solely upon the colour of my skin. But did Martin Luther King not state that it was not the colour of a man's skin that was important, but the content of his character?" </p>
<p>Despite himself, Paul was impressed by that. A white, old-school Angel, quoting Dr. King? Not bad. </p>
<p>Then Castiel continued, "And, if you believe in the teachings of Dr. King, then you will find yourself severely lacking in that department." Paul frowned, but Castiel continued, "I didn't dislike your father because his vessel was black. A vessel is only a vessel. I disagreed with your father over his contempt for the human race. That was all. And you're wrong, Paul. I do know what it's like to experience hate and prejudice, and from your own kind, too. But you have chosen the wrong path. Hell is eternal damnation, and your father would be ashamed if he could see you now." </p>
<p>Paul was angry. "What would you know about it?" he said, raising his voice. "You don't have any idea what it's like to be so damn mad you want to burn everything down to the ground and kill everyone who's ever looked at you as if you were nothing." </p>
<p>Cas laughed again, without any humour at all. "Don't I? But let me tell you something: Violence and murder will never change the way things are, or the way that people think. And I ought to know. I've been behaving that way for most of my existence, and it's never gotten me anywhere, nor has it ever changed anyone's opinion of me. Well, not for the better, anyway. Blood cannot change one's politics, or their viewpoint. Love is what will ultimately save us." He took Gail's hand. "It's what saved me. And we have an Angel in Heaven who has rebuilt himself so much that he's all but unrecognizable now." Cas was thinking of Chuck, of course. If it was possible for Chuck to have redeemed himself as much as he had, then there had to be hope for just about anyone. "So, I'm sorry about your father, Paul. And I feel sorry for you, too. But Hell is not the way." </p>
<p>Crowley rolled his eyes. "A very heartwarming speech, Castiel. So, you regret your violence, do you? I don't suppose you'd like to hand over that Demon knife you're carrying, then, would you?" </p>
<p>Castiel looked at him balefully. "For you, I'd be willing to make an exception." </p>
<p>And that was the moment that Aurielle chose to walk into the office. </p>
<p>Aurielle's eyes lit up when she saw Castiel. She had been in Gail's old office down the hall, so she'd had no idea what had been going on. Nor had Lucifer called for her, as he had for Mark and Jason. She meant nothing to him, and she was of no use to him now. His cover, as the expression went, had been blown, and his Ministry was over. He had only been keeping Aurielle around to do scutwork around the office, and because her awful, scarred face elicited bigger donations. But now that he had to reinvent himself, he had decided to cut her loose. She was dead weight, more trouble than she was worth. </p>
<p>Castiel let go of Gail's hand and rushed forward to grab Aurielle, and because it was him who was doing the grabbing, she just couldn't bring herself to pop out. </p>
<p>"Hi, Aurielle," Gail said cheerfully. "Long time, no see. Caught up with our filing yet?" </p>
<p>Crowley looked at Gail, then he looked at Aurielle. So, this was what she looked like now? He may be scary as the King of Hell, but her face was truly horrifying. </p>
<p>"I didn't want you to see me like this, Castiel," Aurielle said to him. "Lucifer wouldn't let me change vessels." </p>
<p>Crowley rolled his eyes. They were wasting time. "Do you want to do the honours, Castiel, or should I?" he said dryly, opening his suit jacket to reveal his knife. Then he looked at Gail. "I'm sure you wouldn't raise an objection. Or would you like to do it, sweetheart? I'm sure you would like a little payback, wouldn't you?" </p>
<p>Castiel frowned. For all his talk about non-violence a moment ago, he should really just do it himself. He certainly didn't want Gail to do it. She should be able to defend herself, of course, but she was no killer. It just wasn't in her nature. He supposed he could ask Crowley to do it, but he didn't want to seem weak in front of the King of Hell. They still had Lucifer to deal with, and he still didn't trust Crowley. </p>
<p>Gail could see Cas's indecision, and she said, "I don't think we should do anything to her. Not yet, anyway." </p>
<p>The men looked at her, and she went on, "She may have information about Lucifer for us." </p>
<p>Castiel was impressed. He had not really thought of that. And he should have, too; he just didn't like the fact that Gail and Aurielle were in such close proximity to each other right now. </p>
<p>"Tell you what," Gail said. "I'll take her to the bunker. Maybe you gentlemen want to look around here for a bit. See if you can find anyone else, or anything here in his office that might give us a clue as to where he is." Gail was also thinking about Metatron, but she didn't know if she should say his name out loud right now. She looked at Crowley. At least he seemed to be getting what she was saying, as well as what she was not saying; he was nodding. </p>
<p>Castiel still had a hold of Aurielle, but Gail knew that she could just decide to disappear at any time if they didn't act quickly. Frankly, Gail was surprised that she hadn't already done so. She guessed it was only the fact that it was her beloved Castiel who was holding her by the arm that was keeping Aurielle here. Thank goodness for that. Gail moved forward and spoke quietly to Crowley. "Can you do me a favour and knock her unconscious, before she realizes she should just pop out of here?" Then Gail leaned in even closer to him and couldn't resist adding, "I know you know how to do THAT." </p>
<p>Crowley looked at her, startled. She must be referring to the time that he had done that to her. He glanced at Castiel, but his Brother didn't react. Perhaps he hadn't heard; Gail had spoken that last part very softly. It was just as well. The last thing Crowley needed right now was for Castiel to be reminded of that little incident. </p>
<p>Castiel hadn't heard what Gail had said, and his brow furrowed as he wondered what that had been about. But he trusted her; he would just have to ask her about it later. </p>
<p>Crowley strode forward and put his hand on Aurielle's forehead. Her body went limp, but Castiel held her upright. Then Gail approached them. "You can let her go, Cas," she said. "I may not want to kill her, but I don't necessarily mind if she incurs a couple of bumps and bruises along the way." She gave him a tight smile. </p>
<p>Cas's lips twitched, and he let go of Aurielle. She crumpled to the ground, and Gail knelt down over her. She glanced up at Cas. "I'll give her over to Sam and Dean," she told him. "I'll be back in a couple of minutes." Then she took Aurielle's arm and winked them out of there. </p>
<p>Crowley had been smirking at what Gail had said about Aurielle, but he frowned now when he looked at Paul. "You may as well go back to Hell, then," he said to his ersatz spy. </p>
<p>"No, I think I should stay here on Earth, Majesty," Paul said, being careful to adopt a respectful tone. "I have made inroads with many of the defectors, and Lucifer will be calling on them to do his dirty work, as they did in Detroit. And if I'm around, I can help lead you to him." </p>
<p>Castiel and Crowley exchanged glances. Neither of them was particularly surprised by the confirmation that Lucifer had been the instigator of those attacks. The only thing that did surprise them was the fact that there hadn't been more. But Castiel was burning with anger now. If he hadn't had to be in Detroit, dealing with the Demon uprising there, he might have been able to be at the bunker sooner. Logically, he realized that probably wouldn't have made any difference, but emotionally, that was an entirely separate issue. Now he was even more motivated to find Lucifer, and if he had to swallow his contempt for Crowley to do it, then he would just have to pick the lesser of the two evils. Literally. </p>
<p>Crowley sighed. He wasn't crazy about it either, but he supposed he could just grit his teeth and work with Castiel for the time it took to track down Lucifer. Hopefully, his Brother would be able to elicit some information from Aurielle. Despite Castiel's eloquent, if maudlin, speech to Crowley's minion Paul, the King doubted very much that Castiel would be able to restrain himself from interrogating Aurielle most enthusiastically. Angel or not, Castiel had that component to his personality, and Crowley knew that all the hearts and flowers in the world would not erase it. Also, Castiel was fiercely protective of Gail, and Aurielle had posed a constant threat to her. No, the odds for Aurielle's continued survival were definitely not in her favour. Oh well, no matter. Crowley would have her back soon, and he would have to make sure to devise a very creative and excruciating punishment for her. The three board members remained in Hell, and the extent of their subversiveness was still very much in question, so Aurielle's torture could serve as a message to any who made the mistake of thinking that Crowley had gone soft. Just because he was forced to collaborate with Angels at the moment didn't mean that he was one. </p>
<p>"All right," Crowley said to Paul. "You can stay topside for the time being. But, report in on a regular basis." Crowley glanced at Castiel. "And if you find out anything concrete and can't reach me personally for any reason, you can contact Castiel, if he'll agree." Cas looked surprised. But he didn't really mind, not under these circumstances. He was upset that Lucifer had slipped through their fingers, as had Mark and Jason. If Paul could provide them with any useful information, Castiel was willing to be a go-between if need be. He gave Paul his cell number. </p>
<p>Paul disappeared from the office, and Castiel and Crowley exchanged glances again. Then they exited the office and went out into the hallway in opposite directions, searching all the rooms. No Demons, no otherworldly beings, just a number of attractive, shapely young women, doing clerical work. Cas supposed they were all going to be out of jobs now. Surely Lucifer would not return here; his persona as Reverend Devlin had been unmasked now. It would be sheer folly for him to resume. But Castiel felt no ill will towards these women. They were humans, and though obviously gullible, they were only trying to earn a living. Meanwhile, Crowley was amused. These womens' attributes had not gone unnoticed by him. His Brother certainly knew how to run an office. All Crowley had to look at were sour-faced male Demons, for the most part. He wondered if Lucifer had availed himself of any of the potential fringe benefits yet. It was kind of hard to tell where his Brother was coming from on that score, as well as on many other fronts. And now that he was in the wind, who knew what he was going to do next, or who he would be? It was extremely frustrating. </p>
<p>They met up in the hallway. "Humans. Only humans," Castiel confirmed. He was as frustrated as Crowley was. Thank God Gail had had the presence of mind to suggest that they should interrogate Aurielle. She could be their key to finding Lucifer. </p>
<p>"Let's have a look in his office," Crowley said, "just in case there's anything there that might help us determine where he might have gone." </p>
<p>Crowley searched the desk, while Castiel looked through the credenza. Nothing was found that could provide a hint as to where he might have gone, or who he might become. Crowley was sitting behind the desk, thinking furiously. If he were Lucifer, what would he do? Where would he go? He was the King of Hell; he should be able to think like the Devil, shouldn't he? </p>
<p>Castiel was just standing there now, lips pursed, looking like he was about to pop a blood vessel. Crowley knew he would be blaming himself for not having realized that Devlin was Lucifer. But then, Crowley hadn't known, either. </p>
<p>"Have a seat, Castiel," Crowley said, smirking. "Lower your blood pressure." He reached out for the decanter on Lucifer's desk, uncorked it, and sniffed the contents. Not the best stuff by any means, but it would do. He poured himself a drink as Castiel sat down heavily in the chair opposite. Crowley waggled the decanter at Castiel, who frowned. Crowley shrugged and put the decanter down, then he waved his hand and the office door closed. Castiel looked at him inquiringly. </p>
<p>"Let's have a chat, you and me," Crowley said casually, taking a sip of his drink. "A very open and honest discussion." </p>
<p>Castiel's frown deepened. "What about?" </p>
<p>Crowley gave him a thin smile. "Did you really mean all that rot you said to Paul about violence not being the answer?" he asked his Brother. </p>
<p>Castiel regarded him evenly. "For the most part, yes." </p>
<p>Crowley raised an eyebrow. "So I suppose the next time one of my subjects raises a hand to you, you're going to hand him a bouquet of flowers?" </p>
<p>Castiel smiled, despite himself. "I wouldn't go so far as to say that, no." Then his smile faded. "Honestly? I guess I just thought it was a shame to see Raphael's son as a Demon. With his heritage, he could have been a real asset to Heaven." </p>
<p>"You heard him," Crowley said. "He felt excluded there. Prejudiced against." </p>
<p>"And I suppose that Hell is a beacon of enlightenment," Cas said sardonically. </p>
<p>Now Crowley was the one to frown. "It's not supposed to be. In case you've forgotten, Castiel, Hell is not a very nice place, filled with not very nice people. Paul is there for a reason. And my job is not to enlighten." </p>
<p>"What IS your job, anyway?" Castiel said irritably. "From what I can see, all it involves is appearing out of nowhere just to annoy us, and then disappearing once there is any real work to be done." </p>
<p>"Now, now, Castiel," Crowley chided. He was actually kind of enjoying this exchange with his Brother now. Castiel may not be a Demon any more, but he was no mealy-mouthed do-gooder, either. And Gail was obviously having a positive influence on Castiel; he was getting much better when it came to rejoinders. "Is that any way to ask me for a favour?" he continued. </p>
<p>Castiel was startled. "A favour?" </p>
<p>"Yes," Crowley confirmed. "You've been way too civil to me, ever since I got here. You haven't even threatened to kill me yet. That must mean you want something. What is it?" </p>
<p>Cas thought for a moment. This was indeed the most civilized conversation the two of them had ever had. There had not even been the drawing of weapons. That had to be a first for them. There would never be a better opportunity. </p>
<p>"All right, maybe I do," Cas said, inclining his head in a nod. "I was wondering if it would be possible for you to help me train Gail?" </p>
<p>"What, is she not obedient enough for you?" Crowley said nastily. "I thought the two of you had been down that road already." </p>
<p>Castiel was puzzled by the remark. What was Crowley talking about? "You're being ridiculous," he snapped. "I meant that she needs to be educated about the powers that she has as an Original Angel. And, at the risk of unleashing that noxious tongue of yours, I suppose I could use some education, as well." </p>
<p>Crowley smiled broadly. Castiel, asking for his help? Admitting that he wasn't an expert on everything in the known universe? Had Christmas come early? </p>
<p>"If I do this for you, Castiel, what will you give me in return?" Crowley asked, sitting back in the chair. </p>
<p>Cas frowned. "I'm not striking any bargains with you," he said testily. </p>
<p>"Learned our lesson, have we?" Crowley said coolly. "Tell me, why on Earth would I want to assist you in becoming more powerful? Wouldn't that be against my own best interests?" </p>
<p>He was right, Cas thought. Why should Crowley agree to do that? Castiel probably wouldn't, if the situations were reversed. "All right, Crowley. Never mind," he said. "I was just hoping that Gail would be able to better protect herself if she had some knowledge of whatever abilities our Father may have blessed her with." </p>
<p>Crowley lifted an eyebrow. "I didn't say I wouldn't help HER," he remarked. Castiel looked at him sharply. Crowley took another sip of his drink and continued, "I might consider giving her a private tutorial." </p>
<p>Castiel's eyes narrowed. "Private?" he echoed. </p>
<p>"Yes, Castiel," Crowley said smugly. "That means, just her and me." </p>
<p>"Why would you want to be alone with her?" Castiel said suspiciously. "And, why should I trust you with her?" </p>
<p>"For all your talk about enlightenment, you're talking like a Neanderthal," Crowley stated. "Shouldn't that be up to her to decide? I thought you were supposed to be a new, improved Angel." </p>
<p>Castiel was starting to get angry now. The nerve of Crowley, accusing him of being a Neanderthal. Crowley was the Demon, not him. His Brother had had designs on Gail before, and now he was saying he wanted to be alone with her. Who knew what he had in mind? That was what Cas had been talking about, that was all. Certainly, it should be Gail's decision. </p>
<p>"That's my offer, Castiel. Take it or leave it," Crowley told him. </p>
<p>"I'll talk to her, and we'll be in touch," Cas replied. </p>
<p>"Well, as fun as this has been, I think I'll be going," Crowley said to him. "Let me know if the not-so-lovely Aurielle has anything of import to say. It'll be interesting to see how long your newfound non-violent attitude will hold up the first time she threatens Gail. I believe I'll start a pool as to how many seconds it'll take for me to get Aurielle back." Then he snapped his fingers and disappeared. </p>
<p>Cas sat there for a moment, working through his feelings. He wondered what Paul had done, to fall so far. Their Father had obviously cast Paul down, as He had done with Chuck a few years ago. But now that Chuck had achieved redemption, could not Paul do the same? That would be if Raphael's son wanted to, of course. But Cas was not convinced that he did. Paul was so angry. So hostile. Cas could relate to that quality in Paul. But he'd meant what he said about believing in non-violence. That kind of behaviour had never gotten him anywhere. If he could somehow make Paul understand that, perhaps there could be redemption for the young Angel yet. </p>
<p>So Crowley was willing to help Gail, but only if he was allowed to meet with her alone. What was Cas going to do about that? He had no choice, really; he would have to put his personal feelings aside and encourage Gail to do it. Her safety was the number one priority. Cas couldn't let his fears about his Brother's agenda get in the way. If he was to prove that he respected Gail as a person in her own right, he needed to step aside. But that didn't mean they couldn't have a little chat about it, first. Gail claimed that she understood how repugnant Crowley was, but Cas wasn't sure she really did. He would have to make that clear to her. </p>
<p>Crowley had said a couple of very peculiar things, though. It had seemed like he'd been hinting at something, but Castiel couldn't dream of what it might be. And what had Crowley meant when he had made that crack about Cas wanting Gail to be obedient? Crowley had alluded to Castiel having made some kind of deal with him in the past. Cas had never made any sort of a deal with Crowley. He wasn't crazy. He knew better than that. He HAD made the deal with Lucifer for the Devil to cure Gail, though, and he had paid a dear price for it when he had lost her for all those months. But Crowley wasn't talking about that, and he wouldn't know that Cas and Lucifer had shaken hands. So what was his Brother getting at? And then, there had been that strange exchange with the man called Oliver, earlier. It hadn't escaped Cas's notice that Crowley had called Jason's victim by name, too. Cas supposed Crowley could just have overheard Gail using it, but that didn't ring true to Cas, for some reason. Crowley had behaved as if he'd known the man and was glad that he was dead. Now Cas was beginning to feel the same way that Gail must have felt when she'd first gotten back to the bunker. Out of the loop; as if everyone else knew something that he didn't. He would have to talk to Gail about that, too. </p>
<p>And what was he going to do about Aurielle? He would take the lead in her interrogation, of course, but strangely enough, the thought of torturing her made him feel sick to his stomach. But why should that be? He'd never had any trouble with anything like that before. Male, female, it made no difference to him. He was a naturally chivalrous man, but an enemy was an enemy, and Aurielle had certainly been that. So he would just have to ignore this inexplicable aversion he felt. Perhaps Gail could give him some support on the matter. From everything he knew of Gail now, she seemed to have a pretty good handle on the concept of proportional response, something Castiel was admittedly lacking. His go-to in the past had been torture and murder, but if he was going to continue to behave that way, what would separate him from beings like Lucifer, and Crowley? Castiel was supposed to be better than that. </p>
<p>But he was wasting time woolgathering now. Gail had not yet returned, and Cas was beginning to worry a little. He'd better get to the bunker and see what was going on. </p>
<p>When Gail brought Aurielle to the bunker, Sam was sitting at the library table, having a cup of coffee. Her sudden appearance had startled him, and he sloshed the hot liquid on his hand. "Ow!" he exclaimed, putting his scalded hand to his mouth. </p>
<p>"Sorry, Sam," Gail said sheepishly. "I didn't mean to startle you. It couldn't be helped. Can you give me a hand with her, please?" </p>
<p>Sam stood, looking down at the woman Gail had brought with her. She appeared to be unconscious. Sam didn't recognize the woman. She was pretty enough, but one side of her face was horribly disfigured. </p>
<p>"What the hell, Gail?" he said, confused. Last they'd all heard, Cas and Gail had gone away for the day to be alone together, and they were all pretty sure they'd known what that meant. Now here Gail was with an unconscious woman who was a stranger to him, and Cas wasn't with her. What was going on here? </p>
<p>"We need to get her to the storage room," Gail said, rising to her feet and looking up at Sam. "If you can carry her there, I can punch in the code. Then we need to strap her into the chair, quickly." </p>
<p>Sam's eyebrows shot up. </p>
<p>"She's a Demon, Sam, and we think she might have some information as to Lucifer's whereabouts," Gail told him. She was bemused by Sam's expression. "It's a long story. I'll tell you on the way." </p>
<p>So Sam picked Aurielle up and took her to the room where they'd held Cas when he had been a Demon, though Sam wouldn't remember that, of course. Gail was the only one who did, now. She was still undecided as to what to do about that. But, one problem at a time. </p>
<p>She punched in the code and the door swung open. Sam put Aurielle in the chair, and he cuffed her hands from behind. She still hadn't stirred. Crowley must have put a little extra juice into whatever he had done to her, Gail thought. </p>
<p>Sam stood back, looking at their captive. Gail told him the full story, now. So this was what Aurielle looked like. Too bad that Lucifer had gotten away, though. Sam couldn't believe that he had been Devlin, and none of them had known. He had known that there was something wrong with that guy, Sam thought, with the benefit of hindsight. But he felt as foolish as he was sure that Cas and Crowley must feel right now. They had all been there at Devlin's show, and not one of them had had a clue. And Gail had been working for him, promoting his rhetoric. Of course, Sam was prepared to give her a break on that, seeing as she'd thought she was someone else at the time. Sam had been very glad when she told him she had all of her memories back now, too. </p>
<p>They went back to the library area. "I forgot to ask: how was your day with Cas?" Sam asked, poking her gently with his elbow. Now that she was herself again, he felt comfortable enough to tease her in that manner. </p>
<p>"It was terrific, Sam," Gail told him, smiling. She felt a flutter in her stomach. How wonderful it was that she could still feel that way about Cas after all they'd been through. But now, she was seriously considering potentially messing things up again, albeit for a good cause. </p>
<p>"Mind if I take a look for a moment?" Gail asked Sam, sitting down in front of his laptop. </p>
<p>"No, go ahead. I'm going to make some more coffee, maybe some lunch," Sam said. He left the room and Gail waved after him absently. </p>
<p>She found the fan fiction stories and did an author search. There were now 9 books posted by "First Edition". She clicked on Book 4 and began to scroll down. Yep. It was all here. The tribunal, Cas's execution and revival by Crowley, the cabin, and... there it was. Cas as a Demon. God, he'd been horrible then. She'd almost forgotten, or maybe she'd just been trying to suppress it. But once Gail had gotten Demon blood in her, she hadn't been much better, really. She didn't really know what you could call the type of relationship they'd had then. At first it had seemed purely sexual, but then, as they'd both gotten worse, so had the dynamic between them. He had been dominant, and she had been submissive. Then he had been violent and cruel, and she had finally rebelled against him. But then he had gotten an attack of conscience when she had pushed him to the brink of absolute madness, and then the pendulum had begun to swing the other way. Cas had then started to fight against the Demon, but Gail had kept running back to him, offering herself up to the Demon on a silver platter. Sometimes he would love her beyond her wildest fantasies, but other times, he would hurt her very badly. But she'd kept on going back anyway. If she had just stayed away from him, a lot of her subsequent injuries wouldn't have happened. And she could only blame so much on the Demon blood, and on the blood bond. The rest was all her, and she had to take some responsibility for that. Gail didn't need to read any more. She remembered all too well what had happened after they had taken the cure. She had kicked Cas to the curb so that they could both work on their self-esteem issues and personal demons, so to speak, and then they had gotten back together. So here they were now, stronger and closer than ever, despite everything that had befallen them. And, despite the fact that it seemed like they had both done their best to kill their relationship. But no matter what had been done to it, it was stubbornly surviving; thriving, even. Could it withstand another blow? </p>
<p>Gail closed the laptop. Well, if their relationship wasn't that strong, she supposed she'd better find out, now. The bottom line was, Cas needed to know about this. They couldn't have this standing between them. They could both be on the same page at exactly the same time for a welcome change, and then they would be on equal footing as far as knowing what each of them had done. </p>
<p>But she'd better get back. She had said that she was only going to be a minute or two. Hopefully, Cas and Crowley hadn't killed each other by now. </p>
<p>But just as Gail stood in preparation for popping herself back to Los Angeles, Cas popped into the bunker. He started walking towards her, and she walked towards him, and they met each other halfway. </p>
<p>Cas took her hands in his. "Is everything all right?" he asked her. "I was beginning to get worried." </p>
<p>Gail nodded. "Everything's fine, Cas. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to worry you. Did you and Crowley find anything?" </p>
<p>"No," he told her. "Is Aurielle in the storage room?" </p>
<p>"Yes, Sam carried her in there. She was still unconscious when we took her in," Gail advised. </p>
<p>"Well, I guess we'd better wake her up, then," Cas said. </p>
<p>"Just a minute, Cas. Before we do that, there's something I need to show you. I don't want to, but I have to," she said nervously. </p>
<p>"What is it, Gail?" Cas said, curious. </p>
<p>She was shaking now, and Cas could see it. He put his arms around her. "What's wrong, Gail?" he asked her. "You can tell me. You can tell me anything." </p>
<p>Gail made a face. "I hope that's true." She took a deep breath. "Can you do me a favour? Can you give me just one really good kiss, before I have to do this to you?" </p>
<p>Cas was extremely puzzled now, but he leaned down and kissed her on the mouth, as she had requested. She was kind of scaring him now with her strange behaviour, but he had never minded doing this, not one bit. And she had asked him to do it, so it wasn't as if she were angry with him, or anything. She wouldn't even let him hold her hand when she was angry with him, let alone what she was letting him do now. </p>
<p>He parted her lips with his tongue, and as she gave him hers, his arms tightened around her. She was caressing his back, and he was remembering their afternoon in Las Vegas now. But he'd better not do that at the moment. He was becoming excited, and this was neither the time, nor the place. Still, he could feel her lips smile underneath his, and she pressed her body against his, just for a moment. Then she broke the kiss. "That'll have to do, for now," she said, and she stepped away from him and walked over to the table, opening Sam's laptop. </p>
<p>"There's something I need for you to read," Gail said to Cas. "Please come here, before I lose my nerve." </p>
<p>Cas walked over to the table and she pulled out a chair for him. He smiled, thinking of all the times he had done that for her. But she was not smiling. She reached up and touched his face before he sat down. "I'll sit here quietly as you read it, but please, promise me you'll read it all the way through to the end, and then we'll talk. And while you're reading, I want you to remember that I love you, and I forgave you. We forgave ourselves, and each other, a long time ago." </p>
<p>Cas sat down at the computer, dazed. What could she possibly be talking about? This had to have something to do with the strange feeling that he'd had earlier that there was something very important that he didn't know. Gail obviously did know what it was, and now she wanted him to know about it, too. </p>
<p>Gail sat down next to him and clicked on the place where she needed him to start. Cas started to read, and Gail said, "No one else here knows about this, any more. We'll talk about it after, but I've done a lot of thinking, and I believe it should stay that way. It'll be just between you and me. That's basically the way it was at the time, anyway. Now, please read. I'll be right back." </p>
<p>She got up and walked to their room, grabbing the box of tissues she kept on the nightstand by their bed. It was more out of habit now than anything else; it had blessedly been a long time since she'd needed a steady supply of them. But when he was done reading, she was sure they would be needed. Then, as she was passing by the room where Dean kept the bar, she stopped for a minute. What the hell. She walked into the room and grabbed a bottle of whiskey, bringing it and the box of tissues back with her and placing them on the table by her chair. Cas was reading intently, and his expression was grave. He'd glanced up when he saw what she had put on the table but had said nothing. This was going to be bad. She'd only been gone a minute or two, but he'd been reading quickly, feeling both eager and afraid. He was beginning now to see why she'd brought the items she had. He continued to read, and Gail could see his face turn paler and paler. He winced in spots, gasped in others, and at one point, he turned his face to look at her, and the anguish she saw in his face was painful to see. She could only imagine how he must be feeling right now. Thank God she hadn't gotten this far with her reading when she'd still had her amnesia. At least she knew who he really was now, and who they were together. "Remember what I said, Cas," she said to him, touching his face again. "Please, just finish. Then we can have a drink, and talk. Please." </p>
<p>So he'd turned back to the computer. He read a bit more, and then the tears started silently running down his cheeks. She reached for the tissue box and extended it to him, but he shook his head and kept reading. She took his hand instead, and he closed his hand around hers, squeezing it once, almost painfully. Then he looked down at his hand, looked up at her face, and removed his hand from hers. </p>
<p>Gail felt terrible now. Maybe she shouldn't have done this. But it was too late now. He had to finish, and then they could have their talk. </p>
<p>After what seemed like an eternity to her, Cas slowly closed the laptop. He just sat there, unmoving, with his mouth open. </p>
<p>Now it all made sense. Oliver was the medium who had contacted Rowena in the Netherworld, enabling Gail to eventually obtain all the ingredients for the cure. No wonder Oliver had said the things he had said. Now Cas was beginning to remember the events which had happened subsequent to the cure, and he now remembered having encountered Oliver at the fair in Vancouver, both times. </p>
<p>And the things that Crowley had said especially resonated with Cas now, too. None of their friends would remember anything at all when it came to this dark time in his and Gail's lives, but Crowley would, of course, and so would Lucifer, and all of their other enemies. Crowley never missed a chance to needle him, but in this instance, Crowley was absolutely right, with every insulting remark he had ever made. </p>
<p>Cas felt like he was going to throw up. His stomach hurt. He had been crying practically since the beginning of the tale, but now Cas felt like he was going to break down, sobbing. He could feel Gail's eyes on him. She had been sitting there quietly this whole time, as she had promised. He knew he should turn around and look at her, but how could he? How could she even be looking at him right now? How could she be sitting beside him? </p>
<p>She must have gotten up at some point when he'd been deep in the horror of the story, because there were now two glasses on the table, and a bottle of ginger ale. She reached out and poured them both a very strong drink, and she guided his glass into his hand, because he couldn't seem to move. </p>
<p>"I know, we're Angels, but I'm prescribing this, anyway," Gail said softly. "Please have some, Cas. Humour me. I don't want to drink alone." </p>
<p>He raised the glass numbly to his lips and drank some, and then he drank some more. Before he knew it, the glass was empty, and he sat it back down on the table. She poured him another one instantly, and the process was repeated. When he finished that too, he finally felt able to move. </p>
<p>Cas turned to look at her then. Gail had finished her drink, and she was also pouring another one for herself. Then she turned her eyes to look at him, and her eyes were searching his face, trying to read what she saw there. </p>
<p>"Do you remember what I said at the beginning?" she asked him quietly. </p>
<p>"Yes," Cas said numbly. </p>
<p>Suddenly, they heard voices coming from down the hall. Gail glanced that way, panicked. There was no way that they could be around anybody right now, not until this was resolved between them. So she took Cas's hand and winked them outside. </p>
<p>The sun had been shining brightly, but as soon as they appeared, dark clouds began to form overhead, and it began to pour rain. They stood under the overhang, looking out at the rain. </p>
<p>"We missed celebrating our anniversary last year," Gail said in a light tone. "My birthday, too. Although, now that I think about it, that might not even be my real birthday. I'll have to ask Frank about that, see what he knows. If anything. I don't really know if I even want to know who my real parents are. I haven't even had the chance to think about that, yet. And we've already established that we have no idea when your actual birthday is. Maybe we should just open a calendar, blindfold ourselves, and put our fingers down on it." </p>
<p>Cas looked at her. She was still staring out at the rain. What on earth was she talking about? After what he had just read, she was talking about birthdays and anniversaries? What about the anniversary of the day he had taken their relationship and torn it to pieces, with his own hands? What about that? What was she even still doing here? </p>
<p>"Maybe I should just make my birthday the day we first met," Gail continued. "I consider that my real birthday now, anyway." Now she turned to look at Cas. "That was the day my life really began." </p>
<p>"How can you say that?" Cas said in a strangled voice. "After everything I did, and after everything you've been through? How can you even say that?" </p>
<p>"Because," she said simply. "Just...because." She smiled. "Because love trumps everything, Cas. It always has, and it always will. Isn't that what you were really trying to tell Paul?" </p>
<p>He looked at her uncomprehendingly. Yes, he'd said that, but... </p>
<p>"What did I say before you sat down to read, Cas?" she asked him softly. </p>
<p>He thought back. "You said that you loved me. You said that you had forgiven me, and that we forgave ourselves and each other a long time ago." </p>
<p>"Have I ever lied to you, Cas?" she asked him. </p>
<p>"No," he said simply. </p>
<p>"Well then, you know I'm not lying now," Gail said lightly. </p>
<p>"Yes, but how can you - " he started to say, but Gail held her hand up. "No, Cas. We're not doing that again. We're done with that." </p>
<p>Cas closed his mouth. Then he began to think. They had actually done this before, several times. Recrimination, reconciliation, then more recrimination. She was right; it had to end. They couldn't move ahead into the future, if they kept allowing the past to drag them down like this. </p>
<p>"What do you need, Gail?" he asked helplessly. "What do you want to do about it?" </p>
<p>"I've changed my mind," she said, smiling slowly. "I want the date we met, here, to be our anniversary. We can also make that our birthdays, if you want. Roll all the celebrations into one glorious day. That way we'll save on gift-giving, too." </p>
<p>Cas stared at her. She was unbelievable. "Can we really do that?" he said dazedly, playing along. </p>
<p>"Sure we can, Cas. We're celestial beings. We can do anything we want," Gail told him. She took his hand. "And yes, I know what you really meant. And not only do I think we CAN do that, I think that we SHOULD. For ourselves. Weren't you miserable every minute of every day that we were apart? I know I was. And I know I can't do that ever again. It would kill me, Cas." </p>
<p>"It would kill me, too. In fact, it almost did," he told her. </p>
<p>"Well then, what do you say? Are you going to kiss me to seal our agreement, or not?" Gail asked him. </p>
<p>Cas stepped forward and put his arms around her. "I love you, Gail," he said. It was all he could bring himself to say. The tears were stinging his eyes again. "But I wish we hadn't left the tissues on the table." </p>
<p>Gail smiled. "Let them fall. I'll wipe them away with my hands, if I have to. Any excuse to touch your face," she teased gently. </p>
<p>He kissed her, and then he hugged her to him tightly, and the rain suddenly stopped. Cas could see a large rainbow out in the field behind the bunker, and he marvelled at the sight. Let someone else look for the pot of gold; he had his, right here in his arms. She could pick any date she wanted for their anniversary, at least for now. If Cas had his way, they would soon have a real one. </p>
<p>"Are we OK, then?" Gail said against his chest. </p>
<p>"No," Cas said. He pulled out of the embrace and touched her face. "We're wonderful." </p>
<p>They kissed again, and their Father smiled. Then he shut off the TV set. He wouldn't be needing it any more. </p>
<p>Cas and Gail walked down the stairs into the library area, hand in hand. Sam and Dean, Frank and Jody were all there, and they greeted the couple. </p>
<p>"So I hear we have a special visitor in the storage room?" Dean asked Cas. </p>
<p>"Yes," Cas confirmed. "I'll be going in there to interrogate her now." Then he looked at Gail. "Actually, I meant, WE'LL be going in," he amended. Excluding her would not be the way to start the dawn of their new relationship. And now that they had truly put that ugliness behind them, Cas had decided that theirs would be a brand new relationship. An equal partnership, in every way. He had been saying that it was one for several years; now it was time to prove it. </p>
<p>"OK," Dean said. "Let us know if you need any help." </p>
<p>Cas and Gail went down the hall to the storage room. Cas keyed in the code to open the door and they walked into the room where Aurielle was being held. She was still slumped unconscious in the chair. Cas walked up to her and put his hand on her forehead, and she snapped awake immediately. </p>
<p>Aurielle smiled when she saw Castiel's face in front of hers, and she tried to reach out for him. But her hands were cuffed behind her back, and as Castiel stepped away from the chair, Aurielle could see Gail standing there, behind him. </p>
<p>"Where am I?" Aurielle said. "What's happening?" </p>
<p>"We want to talk to you about Lucifer," Cas told her. "We need to know where he is, and what he's planning to do." </p>
<p>Aurielle frowned. "I don't know, Castiel." </p>
<p>"Assuming we believe you, would you tell us anything, even if you did?" Gail asked her. </p>
<p>Aurielle glared at her. "Why should I tell you anything?" she snapped at Gail. "I wish you'd stayed working for him a little bit longer. He had plans for you." </p>
<p>Gail laughed derisively. "Plans?" she said. </p>
<p>"Yes," Aurielle replied. "He was going to seduce you, and then he was going to drive you insane." </p>
<p>Gail shivered inwardly, but she wasn't about to show her fear to this woman. "Seduce me?" she said incredulously. "He would have had to kill me first! Try, rape me. And you'll be sorry to hear that he was unsuccessful." </p>
<p>"I AM sorry to hear it," Aurielle retorted. "Then you would finally have been gone from Castiel's life." </p>
<p>Now Gail was really angry. "What is your problem, Aurielle? What have I ever done to you? Okay, never mind. I know. I'm with Castiel, and you're not. But, you know what, Aurielle? I'm not going to apologize to you for that. He's made his choice, and I'm incredibly lucky that it was me, but you're just going to have to find a way to live with that. We can't keep doing this, over and over again." </p>
<p>Castiel was getting angry, also. Gail was right, in everything she had said. She had never done any harm to Aurielle, but Aurielle just kept on and on with her ridiculous fantasy. He had made his choice, and it was not Aurielle. It was never going to be Aurielle. And while his heart felt warm that Gail had said that she was lucky he had chosen her, he felt extremely frustrated with this situation. It was true; they couldn't keep going through this with Aurielle, time and time again. Just like they couldn't keep agonizing over what had happened during the time he had been a Demon. It had been said that the true definition of insanity was to keep doing the same thing over and over again but expecting a different result. But what were they supposed to do with Aurielle, then? </p>
<p>Gail touched Cas's arm. "Can I talk to you outside for a minute?" she asked him quietly. </p>
<p>They went out into the outer area, outside the storage room. "She's never going to talk, not with me in the room," Gail told Cas. "I'm going back to the library. You talk to her for a bit. See if you can get her to open up. If she's going to talk to anyone, it'll be you." </p>
<p>Cas frowned. "I don't know if I should be alone in there with her." </p>
<p>"Oh? Should I be jealous?" Gail quipped. </p>
<p>Cas's frown deepened. "I know you think you're being funny, but that's not amusing, Gail. I'm afraid that if I'm in there alone with her, I'll kill her. And we both know that has never worked out in the past. We have to think of a new approach." </p>
<p>Gail was impressed. She had also been thinking that they needed a new approach when it came to Aurielle. But she had no idea what that could be. </p>
<p>She leaned forward and kissed Cas on the cheek. "Let's think about that for a while. In the meantime, you just go in and talk to her for a bit. Maybe even show her some compassion, if you can. There's got to be a reason why she is the way she is. Look at Xavier, for example. Everybody's got a story, Cas. Maybe if you just talk to her, like a person, we'll be able to figure out where she's coming from. That would be a new approach for us, wouldn't it? But it had better not be me who tries it. I admit that it's hard for me to talk to her with any kind of compassion when she keeps looking at me like she'd just like to kill me and take my place." She gave him a thin smile. </p>
<p>"Well, that won't be happening any time soon," Cas told her, with a smile. "No one could ever replace you." </p>
<p>"That's what I was hoping you would say," Gail said. Her smile became genuine. </p>
<p>Cas kissed her on the forehead. "I love you," he said softly. </p>
<p>"I know," Gail replied, still smiling. She turned to leave, then turned back to look at him again. "Just make sure she knows it, too," she added, unable to resist. Then she left the room. </p>
<p>Cas smiled after her for a moment, then his smile faded as he turned back to go into the room where Aurielle was. He closed the door behind him and looked at her, sighing inwardly. </p>
<p>"I have no idea what to say to you," Cas told Aurielle. </p>
<p>"Then let me speak to you, Castiel," she appealed to him. "I know that my face is ugly, but now that I'm free of Lucifer, I can get a new vessel. I can be anything you want me to be, look like anyone. I could even look like her, if you want. I could possess Gail's body. I thought about doing that, before. It was only my fear of Lucifer that kept me from doing it." </p>
<p>Cas's blood ran cold. My God. Lucifer had nearly forced himself upon Gail, and Aurielle had come close to possessing Gail, too? And they had been talking about treating this woman with compassion? Perhaps it was Cas and Gail who were truly crazy. </p>
<p>He took the Demon blade out of his jacket and rushed up to the chair, pointing it at Aurielle's throat. His eyes flashed bright blue as he said, "I've told you this before, but it obviously bears repeating. You are delusional. You will not go near her. You will not even think about her." </p>
<p>"Or what, Castiel? You'll kill me?" Aurielle said dully. "Do you think I care? I'm already dead, both literally and figuratively. Don't you understand that?" </p>
<p>Castiel removed the knife from her throat, but he continued to stand close to her, staring at her face. He took a deep breath, trying to rein in his temper. He had just done what he'd told himself that he shouldn't do, and what Aurielle had said was reinforcing the lesson he was supposed to be learning. </p>
<p>"I've been dead inside for years now," Aurielle continued. "But then, when I first saw you, I started to feel alive for the first time. I thought if you would just love me, I would feel like I had some worth." </p>
<p>Castiel was startled. Hadn't he felt pretty much the same way before he had met Sam and Dean, and especially Gail? He had even said that same thing to Gail, but Gail had said that he had to love himself first before he could love anyone else, even her. So he had worked very hard on doing that, and he was still working on it now. He had never imagined that Aurielle might feel the same way. </p>
<p>Cas stepped back from the chair, thinking about that. He was still a little bit angry and a little bit scared about what Aurielle had said about Gail, though. He looked at the knife in his hand, debating with himself about what to do. </p>
<p>"I used to cut myself," Aurielle said suddenly. He looked up at her, startled. Aurielle had tears in her eyes now. </p>
<p>"What?" Cas said. "Why?" </p>
<p>"I don't know," Aurielle said quietly. "I guess it was the only way that I could feel that I was alive. When I was a human, all those years ago, I was so alone. No one knew me, or even wanted to know me. Even my own parents ignored me. So, I started to cut myself. Maybe I was trying to get attention. I don't know. But after the first couple of times, my father got angry, so I started doing it secretly. Then one day, my wounds got infected, and I died. And then I was in Heaven, but nothing had changed for me. I still had the same dull existence, and I was still ignored. But then I saw you, and everything changed in that moment. There was just something about you. Everyone knew who you were, but no one knew much of anything about you. They all said that you were one of God's most beloved, but they also said that you didn't seem to have any friends. You were like me, Castiel. So, I thought if I could just get you to notice me, we could be each other's friend. And then I fell in love with you, and I let Chuck manipulate me into thinking that you could love me, too." Now the tears were spilling down Aurielle's cheeks. "I never meant to hurt anyone, Castiel, I swear. I only ever wanted to love someone who would love me back. Or, at least, someone to know that I even existed." </p>
<p>Now Cas did feel compassion for Aurielle. In a lot of ways, she was right; their existences in Heaven had been eerily similar. And, even his life as a lonely young human man on Earth had been pretty much like she had described. But even though he had spent all of those years feeling alone and miserable, Castiel had eventually been blessed with friends in the form of Dean and Sam, and then God had sent him love, when He had sent Gail to the bunker that night. And Castiel's circle of friends and family had been expanding ever since. Gail had been incorrect about one thing, and one thing only: Cas was the lucky one in the relationship. But Aurielle had not been as fortunate as Cas. He thought he understood her better now. </p>
<p>"I honestly don't know where Lucifer could be now," Aurielle said sadly. "I'm sorry that I ever got involved with him, truthfully. He treated me badly. Just like Chuck, and Metatron, and Jason. And Xavier, and the board. And pretty much every man I've ever known. But I knew that you were different, Castiel. I knew that if only you would look my way, you would treat me kindly, with love and respect. The way you treat Gail." </p>
<p>"I treat her that way because I love her," Cas said softly. "But I haven't always done right by her, and she has loved me in spite of it. At times, she has loved me despite what I am, not because of it." </p>
<p>"But I would have done that, too," Aurielle protested. "When you came to see me in Hell, and you had that knife in your hand, I would have had you do anything you wished to me, just so that I could be with you." </p>
<p>Castiel stared at her. "But that's the trouble," he said earnestly. "I was an abomination, and what I was doing was terribly wrong. Gail knew that, even though she was suffering from a similar affliction at the time. She did not mold herself into who she thought I would want her to be. Rather, she has challenged me to mold myself into becoming someone who deserves her. That is what you need to aspire to, Aurielle. Men have ill-used you, partly because you have allowed them to do it, just as you're saying that you would have allowed me. But you have to believe that you deserve better than that, Aurielle. Only then, will you be able to feel free. It's not me who you should love. It's yourself." </p>
<p>Aurielle started to think about that. She supposed that he had a point. She HAD allowed all those men to treat her badly, and all because she had become obsessed with another man, the one who was standing before her now. But her mind was clear at the moment, for the first time in a long time, and she began to realize the futility of her thinking. Castiel would never love her. He couldn't. Gail could be Sarah, or she could be dead, and it still wouldn't matter. Gail was Castiel's mate, not Aurielle, and even though Aurielle still burned with jealousy when she saw the expression on his face and the look in his eyes when he spoke about Gail, she now knew that any fevered fantasies she had about being with Castiel were just that. </p>
<p>"You may be right," Aurielle said thoughtfully. "For many years now, my entire existence has revolved around men, and what they might want from me. And what I'm willing to accept from them." She laughed bitterly. "Including you, Castiel. Even you." </p>
<p>Cas was silent. It seemed as if Aurielle was finally having some sort of a breakthrough. That was the first thing she had ever said to him that he could recall that made him think she could still have a modicum of self-respect. But could he trust that she was being completely straight with him? </p>
<p>"I'll be back in a moment," he said, exiting the room. </p>
<p>Cas went out to the library area and greeted everyone, then he asked to speak to Gail privately for a moment. </p>
<p>She walked with him into the hallway, and he told her about his conversation with Aurielle. Cas told her every detail; he had vowed to himself that he would never hold anything back from Gail, ever again. She had had the courage to show him everything he had done, she had faced him with it, and then she had demonstrated the utmost compassion by forgiving him for it. Cas had gotten an idea about what to do with Aurielle, and he wanted to know what Gail's opinion would be about it. She would know what the right thing was to do, he was sure. </p>
<p>"I think that Aurielle could benefit from speaking to some other women who have looked at things from her perspective," Cas said to Gail. "I was thinking that we might take her to the womens' shelter in Vancouver, the one that Richard does volunteer work for." </p>
<p>Gail was both impressed and amazed. Now that she had heard Aurielle's story, she felt sorry for the woman. That story could very well have been Gail's, if she and Frank had not been set out on the road that led to Sam and Dean, and to Cas. Gail could picture herself sitting in her old room at her old house, nose in a book, with no friends, leading a nothing life. But for some reason, their Father had seen fit to bless Gail, even though what had happened to her had seemed more like a curse at the time. She had been through the wringer, but she had also become a stronger woman because of it, and she had tons of friends now, and a man who loved her enough to put her above anything and everything else. With all of the gifts she'd been given, maybe it was time to pay it forward and help someone else improve their lot in life. Even if it was the person who coveted the love of Gail's life. Wasn't this what being an Angel was really supposed to be all about? </p>
<p>"That's a fantastic idea, Cas," she told him. "But there's only one problem with it. She's a Demon." </p>
<p>Cas frowned. Gail was right, of course. They couldn't bring a Demon there. </p>
<p>"Can't Crowley change her into a human, if we can talk him into it somehow?" Gail asked Cas. </p>
<p>"Crowley?" Castiel said. "What makes you think he can do that?" </p>
<p>"Didn't he do that with Frank?" Gail said. </p>
<p>"No, Gail. That was me. I changed Frank back into a human when I got him back from Crowley. But I was God at the time, Gail. I can't do that now." He frowned again. "And Bobby won't be able to do it now, either." </p>
<p>Oh. Right. It was strange, really. Cas and Gail had gone from being way out of the loop in their own lives, to being the only ones who knew the secrets now. They were the only two in their circle who knew about the Demon incident now, and they were the only ones who knew that Bobby was no longer God. While Gail was thinking about that, and wondering what they could possibly do about Aurielle, Cas said, "But, speaking of Crowley, he said that he will give you education on your Original powers." </p>
<p>"Really?" Gail said. raising her eyebrows. "And why would he want to do that, Cas? Out of the goodness of his heart? Yeah, sure. As if." </p>
<p>"As if what?" Castiel asked her. </p>
<p>Gail laughed. It had been a while, but she realized that colloquialisms were still hit-and-miss for him on occasion. "It's an expression, sweetie," she said happily. "It's meant as sarcasm." </p>
<p>"Oh, he said, and then he did a double-take that was so reminiscent of Dean that she laughed again. "What did you call me?" he asked her. </p>
<p>Gail was smiling. "'Sweetie'. It just popped out. Sorry, I won't do it again if you don't like it." </p>
<p>"Are you joking?" Cas said. He was smiling now, too. "I loved it. I think I might ask you to call me that all the time. Maybe just when we're alone, though. Otherwise, Dean will be merciless." </p>
<p>"You're probably right about that," she said, nodding. "God, I can't wait until Dean gets a girlfriend. There is such payback in his future." </p>
<p>"You may be waiting a while," Cas said, smiling gently. Although, he hoped not. It would be wonderful if Dean could feel the same happiness as Cas did now. Sam, too. But then Cas's expression grew serious. "But, back to the subject at hand. I'm happy to hear you speak like that about Crowley, because he would only agree to train you if the two of you were alone." </p>
<p>"Alone?" Gail repeated. "Why?" </p>
<p>Cas frowned once more. "I don't know. He wouldn't say." </p>
<p>"Well, he can just forget it," she said scornfully. "Why the hell would I want to do that?" </p>
<p>"I think you should do it, Gail," Cas told her. "You need to be able to find out what your powers are, and learn how to use them, if need be. I want you to be able to protect yourself. I will always protect you, but you are a person in your own right, and I might not always be where you are, at any given moment." </p>
<p>Gail sighed. Cas was right, but she was uneasy about Crowley wanting to see her alone. What the hell was he trying to pull now? But she also realized that she did need the training. Gail had begun to learn about her abilities when she and Cas had been Demons, but then the disease had really gotten its claws into them, and then their training ceased. Crowley had been teaching them about the markings on their blades, and the fact that those marks denoted what those powers were. Each of the Originals had unique abilities, and they also shared a few in common. Crowley had showed her and Castiel his own blade and told them of a few of his own abilities. And, they still had Metatron's blade here in the weapons room at the bunker. That left only Lucifer. It was a shame they didn't have access to his blade, too, she thought. Unfortunately, they were all in the dark about what abilities he may or may not have. </p>
<p>"Okay, I'll do it," she told Cas. "You're right. The more education I can get, the better." </p>
<p>"Good," he said. He put his hands on her shoulders. "Just please don't forget who and what he is. OK?" </p>
<p>"I won't, Cas," she said to him. </p>
<p>"Sorry, hungry people coming through," Frank's voice said from down the hall in the direction of the library. He and Jody came into view. </p>
<p>"I hope we didn't interrupt anything," Frank told them. "We were just going to the kitchen to have something to eat." </p>
<p>"Mind if I tag along?" Gail said to her brother. She'd been wanting to talk to Frank ever since she'd found out that she'd been adopted. But things had been a little hectic since then, and she realized it probably didn't help that she'd been a little cool towards him at the time when she'd found out. But what Dean had said about Frank raising her and caring for her had been resonating in Gail's head. </p>
<p>"Is it all right if I come, too?" Cas asked her. </p>
<p>"What about Aurielle?" Gail said. </p>
<p>Cas shrugged. "Until we can figure out what to do about her, she can stay where she is," he said. "A little time to think about things would probably do her some good." </p>
<p>So they followed Frank and Jody to the kitchen, and Jody told Frank to sit down while she made herself and Frank some lunch. </p>
<p>Gail looked at Frank. "I've got all my memories back now," she told him. "I know I've been a little standoffish to you, and I wanted to apologize to you for that. It was just a shock to find out that I was adopted, that's all. But I talked to somebody who reminded me that you've been my brother in every way that's important. Blood is just blood. You took care of me all those years, and that means a lot to me." </p>
<p>"And to me," Cas added. He smiled at Frank and took Gail's hand. </p>
<p>Frank nodded to him in acknowledgement, and then Frank looked Gail in the eyes. "You've always been my sister, Gail. So you were adopted, so what? Our parents adopted you when you were just a baby. I overheard them talking about it one night years later, and they caught me. Then they told me that they had intended to tell you about it when you got just a little bit older. But they never got the chance, and I didn't really see the point. You ARE my sister, Gail. We spent all those years together, and in a way, I wouldn't trade them for anything in the world. I'm very proud of you, and of who you've become. Even if your choice of boyfriends is a little suspect." He grinned at Cas, to let him know he was only teasing, and Cas smiled back, relieved. </p>
<p>Gail got up and walked around the table. She kissed Frank on the forehead with a loud smack. Then she kissed him once more, gently this time. "And if I'd had the choice of any brother in the world, I'd still have picked you," she said to him. "Well, either you, or Bill Gates. The quality of my birthday and Christmas presents over the years have left a lot to be desired." She grinned now, too. </p>
<p>"Hey, you try shopping for quality presents on a Hunter's budget sometime," Frank told her. </p>
<p>Jody came over to where they stood. "Now that things are what passes for normal between you two, I think we should tell them our news," she said to Frank. </p>
<p>"Oh? What's that?" Gail asked them, curious. </p>
<p>Frank put his arm around Jody's waist. "We're going to get a place together," he told Cas and Gail. "We'll rent a place nearby, and then, when this business with Lucifer is over, we're going to buy a place together." </p>
<p>Gail looked at Cas, and Cas smiled at her. "That's excellent news," Cas remarked, and Gail looked at Jody and said, "I think so, too. Even though I think you're crazy, Jody. Wait till I tell you about his morning and bedtime routines. You might change your mind." </p>
<p>"I already know about all those," Jody said, smiling. </p>
<p>"And yet you want to do it, anyway? You're a brave, brave woman," Gail joked. </p>
<p>"I'm on a leave of absence from the Sheriff's office, but we've been discussing my retirement lately," Jody said. "We haven't made a decision yet, but I'm leaning heavily." </p>
<p>"I know you were part of the family before, but I've got to say welcome to the family, anyway," Gail said to Jody, smiling warmly. </p>
<p>Frank's cell phone rang, and he said, "Sorry, guys." He looked at the Call Display. "It's Felicia." He listened for a minute, then said, "Sure. We'll be over in a bit." He hung up, then said, "She wants to know if Jody and I can go over and sit with Robbie. She's got a job interview in about an hour." </p>
<p>"She does?" Cas said, surprised. </p>
<p>"Yeah, Cas," Frank told him. "I know, she's an Angel, but she's got a human boy to provide for, and have you seen how much that kid eats? Besides, I think it's good for her to get out there and do something for herself. Maybe she can make a few friends and forget about that loser Mark." </p>
<p>Cas thought about that, and he decided that Frank was right. It had done both him and Gail a world of good when they had been productive in that manner. Felicia would feel good about herself if she were working, and she could try to give Robbie as normal of an existence as she could, under the circumstances. </p>
<p>Frank stood. "We'll get some drive-thru on the way. Maybe we'll get Robbie a Happy Meal, or something." He gave Gail a hug. "So, are we OK?" he asked her. </p>
<p>"More than OK," she replied. "And I'm really happy for you, Frank. She looked at Jody. "It'll be really nice to have another female around here full time, too. Things tend to get a little testosterone-y here at times." </p>
<p>"I think I ordered that once at an Italian restaurant," Jody quipped, and Frank and Gail laughed. Cas looked puzzled, and that made them laugh even more. </p>
<p>"You're going to fit in just fine," Gail told Jody. </p>
<p>Cas and Gail looked at each other fondly. She took his hand. "If these guys can be even half as happy as you and I are, I'll be thrilled," Gail said, smiling up at him. </p>
<p>Cas was taken aback for a moment. After everything that she had been through, all that he had done, and the dangers they still had to face? But then he realized something: he was happy, too. Genuinely, blissfully, happy. It didn't matter how many enemies they had to deal with, or what they had to undergo in the future. As long as he and Gail were together, they could overcome anything. He put his arms around Gail and kissed her, and Frank did the same with Jody. </p>
<p>Mark pushed the disconnect button on his cell phone. </p>
<p>"Who are you calling?" Jason asked him. Jason had just entered the room. Lucifer had told him and Mark to wait here for his imminent arrival. </p>
<p>Mark regarded him coolly. "None of your business, that's who," he said to Jason. If Lucifer felt as if he needed a vampire as a bodyguard, Mark guessed he couldn't really say anything on the matter. But he didn't have to like it, and he definitely didn't have to like Jason. He had seen Jason feed, and it wasn't a pretty sight. He was a monster, and he was a sadist, taking great delight in inflicting maximum pain on his victims. Lucifer allowed Jason to feed whenever his bodyguard felt the urge, just to keep him from complaining. But then, Mark had signed on to be the Devil's right-hand man, so really, what had he expected? But Mark had some needs of his own, and he planned to take care of them. </p>
<p>Jason was smirking. He knew that Mark didn't like him much, but he didn't care. Let Mark be Lucifer's lackey. Mark even called him "Master", which Jason found hilarious. Nobody was Jason's Master. He was just here to take his revenge on Castiel and Gail, and Lucifer was the best conduit to providing access to the two of them. After they were taken care of, Jason would do whatever he pleased. </p>
<p>Lucifer popped into the room and said, "I've been to talk to the representatives of all of the Demon cells we have in place. I've appointed them a General, and he will be operating according to my instructions. Also, I've recently made the acquaintance of a very fetching and capable woman, who has volunteered to help us with the Angel side of things." </p>
<p>He waved his hand, and the doors leading into the room swung open. </p>
<p>A young black man walked in. "Gentlemen, this is Paul," Lucifer told them. "He will oversee the Demons." Paul nodded to Mark and Jason in greeting. </p>
<p>"And this lovely woman is Rowena," Lucifer said. </p>
<p>Rowena entered the room and smiled at the men. </p>
<p>Lucifer was smiling, too. "Rowena is one of the most powerful witches I've ever had the pleasure to meet. And she had another couple of things going for her, too. She's the King of Hell's mother. And she's God's wife." </p>
<p>Mark and Jason began to smile. This was going to be fun. </p>
<p>- END OF BOOK 14. -</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you so much for reading!  I appreciate any kudos, and/or comments you may have.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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